Some days later, Cecilia, who was still struggling with her early day sickness, had arranged for the fitting of her dress to be in the afternoon. We drove into Lewes in the gig and Cecilia told the driver to wait for us.
Miss Simpson looked pleased with the compliments we were able to pay her after trying the dress on. It was absolutely exquisite and Cecelia’s worries about the pregnancy showing were unfounded. While we were in Lewes we called on Mrs Makepiece and I was able to tell her and Cecilia about our trip to Southease.
‘That is wonderful Esther; it is good to have family and roots nearby. Will you call on them again soon?’
‘I didn’t really feel welcomed,’ I confessed. ‘But perhaps that is not surprising, me turning up out of the blue and there had clearly been some bad feelings about my mother leaving them, as Aunt Tilly put it, in the lurch.’
‘Aye, it must have been a bit of a shock to them.’ Mrs Makepiece turned her attention to Cecilia and we talked on about the upcoming wedding and her departure from South Farm as we took tea.
In the gig as we returned home I asked her if she was excited about the wedding and returning to her mother’s care.
‘I am, but once I have been there a few weeks I know I will want to come back to South Farm but I must do what is best for my baby. You will call on John, won’t you Esther? He will be quite lost without us all around him.’
‘I will indeed – I am sure I will have time on my hands in the early days and I can walk over with Beth regularly. Perhaps I can accompany the doctor when he visits.’
‘Will you write to me Esther? I will miss you and Beth so much and it would be good to know all the little things that are not noticed by John.’ We giggled at her polite way of requesting the gossip.
The days were going by rapidly with Cecilia turning things out and selecting her travelling wardrobe. I was thrilled to be given two of her day dresses, a shawl and some underclothing, which I had never previously worn. She also gave me some bits and pieces to use as adornments if I went anywhere special. In the days leading up to her departure I was with her constantly and knew I would miss her terribly. Beth was constantly in her arms being kissed and cuddled. ‘By the time you get back,’ I said, ‘she will be talking and walking properly and you won’t recognise her.’
‘Oh, don’t say that, I would recognise her anywhere, she has been my dearest love. Excepting John and you of course. When I get back we will be together again and Beth will have a little one to play at being mother to.’
I laughed at the idea of Beth mothering a new baby but in truth I was dreading Cecilia’s departure. I was very nervous of my new role as nurse and how Beth and I would fit into a bachelor’s household. I truly liked the doctor and enjoyed our discussions but I was unsure of my place. Sometimes I thought him to be looking at me in a manner that wasn’t quite as usual, I didn’t know what it meant.
On the day before the wedding the household rose early and everyone clustered around Cecilia as she stepped into the carriage. She looked absolutely beautiful and very dignified. I sensed her taking back her role as a peer’s daughter and friend to the royal family. Our little world at South Farm was gently pushed into the background as she and Farmer Elwood took their place in the wider fashionable world.
After their departure the house fell silent and I went upstairs to pack up my small bag of belongings and Beth’s clothes and toys, her little cloth dolly and blankets that she couldn’t sleep without. The driver was to take us to the doctor’s house in the afternoon and we must be all ready for him.
We had a light lunch with Mrs Fisher and Cilla in the kitchen before I gave them both a hug and promised to return shortly to hear all the news. I went to the stables and said goodbye to the gardeners and stable lads. I looked to see if Wilf was about and wondered at my sadness that he wasn’t. Oh, how I would miss everyone. I gathered Beth in my arms and we waited patiently for Cecilia’s driver to collect us.