Elizabeth sat at her desk and stared at the clock on the wall facing her. 3:59 pm: Tick. Tock. She watched as the second hand slowly made its way around. As soon as it struck the hour, she grabbed her things and snuck out the back door no one was supposed to use. She didn’t care. She didn’t want to speak to or look at anyone, least of all Peggy. And while the grand jury returned an indictment in the Brewer case, it didn’t stop her from being a tad concerned of the backlash she was sure to receive after Peggy had given her the cold shoulder for the rest of the day. Still, all she could think about was getting home and wrapping herself in Angel’s arms.
The drive home was the most peace she’d had all day. At least the sun was shining and the temperature had risen above forty. She pulled into the gravel driveway of the lake house and parked in her spot, leaving enough room for Martinez when he arrived. Leaning on the headrest, she breathed a sigh of relief. Now in her safe place, she gathered her thoughts, grabbed her bag, and headed inside.
Upon opening the screen door to the porch, she noticed something was off. There was a glass vase full of dark, wine-colored flowers sitting in the middle of the wicker coffee table. She smiled as she thought, Wow, he really knows how to turn a bad day around! Plucking a card from the middle of the bouquet, she opened the tiny envelope, anxious to read the note. It was blank. In her mind, no words were necessary.
She picked up the vase and put the flowers to her nose, breathing in the intoxicating scent. After unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door, she placed the vase on the dining room table before entering her code to deactivate the alarm system and lock the door behind her. Grabbing her phone from her bag, she saw a text from Martinez that read, “See you soon mi belleza!”
Figuring she had just enough time to get out of her work clothes and put her lasagna in the oven, the first order of business was getting into her yoga pants and comfortable sweatshirt. Once she changed, she replaced her fall table arrangement with the flowers and admired them once again.
Unsure where to put the centerpiece, she took it into the kitchen with her and set it on the counter, turned the oven on to 350 degrees, and pulled everything out of the refrigerator needed for dinner. Once the pasta was ready to go, she took her wooden salad bowl from the cabinet before chopping the veggies. Something was missing. I need background music.
Retreating to the living room, she flipped through her record collection. Wanting something upbeat but romantically bluesy, she stopped her search at Nina Simone, Sings the Blues from 1967. Perfect. She pulled the vinyl from the jacket and placed it on the turntable. Once the needle hit the record, she closed her eyes and moved her head back and forth as Nina’s voice rang through the room. “Do I move you…” She sat there for nearly three minutes while the first song played out.
Once it ended and the next song began, she jumped up and began shaking her hips to the guitar vibrations while singing along, “When you like a fel-la, brrmp-brrmp-brrmp-brrmp-brrmp, tryyy to treat him right. Brrmp-brrmp-brrmp-brrmp-brrmp. Giiive him your atten-tion day and night…” She continued to dance and sing as she opened a bottle of Cabernet, pouring herself a healthy glass. As she was cutting up the vegetables for the salad, she heard knocking. Smiling as she put down the knife, she ran to the door and looked out the blind.
Martinez stood there, handsome as ever, still in his work clothes with a black leather jacket covering his polo shirt. Elizabeth unbolted the lock and welcomed him in. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close, closing his eyes and burying his nose in her coconut scented hair. His throat hummed. “Mmmm. Como estas, mi amor?” He looked into her blue eyes before kissing her on the forehead. Looking up behind her, he instantly noticed the large burgundy-colored flowers tinged with black highlights. His body stiffened as he pulled back. “Where the hell did those come from,” he asked with a suspicious tone.
Elizabeth looked confused. Squinting her brows together, she was unsure how to respond to his question. The ominous feeling in her chest took over the expression on her face. “What do you mean? I thought -” She turned to look at the bouquet and back to Angel. “I thought they were from you?”
“From me? Liz, I would never send you black dahlias,” he said as he grabbed her by the shoulders and gently moved her to the side. Approaching the flowers with caution, he demanded, “Where’s the card?”
Beginning to get a little shaky, Elizabeth replied, “It was blank. Angel, you’re starting to freak me out a little.” She went to the trashcan and retrieved the card and the envelope.
As she came back into the dining room, Martinez grabbed the vase and took it outside. She followed him to the side of the house and stood in bewilderment as she watched him toss the entire bouquet into the trash bin. “Angel, what the hell are you doing?”
His brows wrinkled and a muscle in his jaw twitched with anger as his eyes scanned the perimeter. With his hand on her waist, he turned her around and said, “Get back inside.”
Deciding not to question him further, she did as he asked. As she entered the dining room, she heard him shut the door behind them and bolt the lock. Then he ordered her to arm the security system. With an arrested expression on his face, he looked into her eyes and insisted; “Don’t ever enter this house again without turning that on first. Got it?”
“Got it.” She nervously nodded her head in compliance. She placed her forehead in her hand and rubbed her temple as she walked past him into the kitchen. Grabbing her glass of wine she took a sip, closed her eyes and tilted her head back, gulping it down. As she opened her eyes, Martinez stood next to her in front of the window above the sink with his hands on the strings to the blind, guardedly looking out before pulling it shut.
“Angel, can you please tell me what’s going on?”
Changing the tone of his voice to a more calming state, he apologized. “I’m sorry, the last thing I wanna do is scare you.”
Setting her glass down on the counter, she held the stem to wane her shaky hand and moved her eyes to meet his. “Little late for that. What – is – going – on?”
Moving from the window to the back door beside the refrigerator, he checked the chain lock and the bolt making sure they were secure. “Look, dahlias can be a beautiful sentiment to send depending on the message you want to convey. They’re native to Mexico but all throughout Latin America, the world, really, each color has a distinct meaning or symbolism.” He placed his fingers on the blind pulling them open to peak through.
Rolling her eyes in frustration she sighed. “Okaaaay?”
“You don’t send black dahlias to someone you care about, Liz.” Unsure how to ease the blow, he just blurted it out, “They’re sent as a warning. They symbolize anger and betrayal.”
Fear washed the color from her face and her lips parted to release a nervous gasp.
Without hesitation he cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. “Hey, I don’t want you to worry about this. You hear me?”
Trusting the confidence in his eyes, she nodded.
“Consider it handled.”
The alarm clock went off at 6:30 am waking Elizabeth out of a deep sleep. It was entirely too early considering she didn’t reach optimal REM until around three in the morning. She reached over and shut off the alarm before Martinez wrapped his arm around her chest pulling her into the spooning position and burying his nose into her hair. Moaning at the thought of getting out of bed, Elizabeth said, “Thank you for staying with me.”
Holding her tighter he replied, “Thank you for a nice dinner, even though the evening didn’t go quite as we planned.”
Wiggling out of his grasp she turned to face him. “Can’t we just lay here all day and tune out everything else?”
“In a perfect world,” he said kissing her forehead. He slithered out from under the comforter, Elizabeth admiring his built frame as he pulled his jeans over his boxers. “I’m gonna go home, clean up, and head straight to the bureau, see if I can’t hook up with Johnson and pay a visit to our friend Robinson. Holden knows I may be late. Are you going in to the office today?”
Falling back into bed, she sighed. “Unfortunately, yes. But I am calling Dr. Baker to see if she can move my appointment up to first thing this morning. I’m sure China can cover Muni court until I get there.”
Leaning on the bed, he hovered over her. “Maybe you should just stay home? Let me take care of a couple things.”
Looking into his eyes she cupped his handsome face with her hands. “You’re really amazing, do you know that?” Lifting her head up she kissed him hard on the lips, slid out from under him, and jumped out of bed. “I’ll go absolutely crazy if I stay here all day and sulk. Unless, of course, you stay with me?” He shook his head shamefully. “Then it’s settled. My mind works better when I stay busy.”
He walked around the edge of the bed and grabbed his jacket. “I would love to keep you busy but I’m getting a jump on this before things get out of hand.”
She followed him to the door to secure the lock and set the security alarm before pouring herself a cup of much needed fuel. Holding onto the door and leaning her head against it, she looked at him with a grateful smile curving her mouth. “Thank you.”
He shook his head as if to say No thanks necessary. “That’s what I’m here for.” Strutting to the screen door of the porch he turned back for a moment and said, “I’ll call you later.”
Sitting in the lobby of the doctor’s office, Elizabeth scrolled through her phone as she waited, glancing up periodically at the door with the nameplate that read Dr. Laura Lee Baker, MD. Upon hearing the door unlatch, Elizabeth looked up as a meek looking, young girl walked up to the front desk with her head hung low. Dr. Baker followed behind and met the receptionist, giving her some instructions before turning around and acknowledging Elizabeth. She smiled. “Liz, how are you? Come on back, please.”
Rising from her chair, she grabbed her things. “Thank you so much for getting me in this morning.”
“It’s no problem at all. Fortunately for you, I happened to have a cancellation.” Her voice was warm and inviting. They sat down across from each other in two chairs next to the bay window overlooking a private garden. Holding her pad and pen, Dr. Baker looked at Elizabeth with genuine concern. “It’s not like you to move your appointment up, Liz. What’s happened that brings you in early?”
Threading her fingers together on her lap, tears welled in her eyes. She glanced out at the garden that had been taken hostage by the looming winter. Fighting the urge to cry she sucked in a breath and said, “Well, I guess the better question is, what hasn’t happened.” She sighed heavily. “You know, I’ve been doing so well since he got out. I’ve tried to live as if he was still in prison, like we discussed, and I hardly need my meds. Work has been going good, considering.”
Her pen stopped moving on the notepad. “I agree you’ve been doing exceptionally well the past few months and I am happy I haven’t had to write you a prescription in a couple months.”
“I still have five pills from the last one. But as of yesterday, my anxiety level has peaked. Now, I have four,” she said with a tone of defeat.
“Liz, it’s okay for you to take a Valium when necessary. That’s what they’re there for. Don’t beat yourself up about that. So, tell me what happened yesterday.”
Elizabeth proceeded to explain the previous day in detail from her run in with Peggy to the moment she received the flowers. “I don’t know what I would have done had Angel not been there. I mean, if he called and told me all of that over the phone, I would have lost my shit!”
Dr. Baker set her pad and pen on the windowsill next to her and gently placed her hands on her lap, leaning forward towards Elizabeth. “I can certainly understand why your anxiety is coming back with a vengeance, but let’s evaluate, shall we?”
Elizabeth wrung her hands together. “He’s only on the ankle monitor for a little while longer. And then – he’s just out there.”
“Remember your breathing exercises.” Dr. Baker coached her through the breaths as she calmly practiced with her. “In and out. That’s it. Good.” She allowed her to take a few more breaths before asking, “Do we know for a fact Steve sent these flowers to you?”
Feeling a little embarrassed, she thought for a moment before responding. “Well, not exactly, but – the fact that Angel found it alarming…”
Resting her elbow on the arm of the chair, Dr. Baker grabbed her chin with her thumb and forefinger. “I understand. And Angel is following up in his capacity as a detective, I assume?”
Nodding her head in the affirmative, she said, “He’s looking into it. The card was blank and I’m sure he didn’t pay with a credit card, so, you know, I deal with these types of things all the time. Victims call regarding a violation of their protection order and either there is little evidence of the violation or many officers think the violation is so trivial, they brush it off.”
“But you are not being brushed off?”
She sighed. “No. But what makes me more special than any other woman dealing with similar issues?”
“Well, it’s not that your special, per se. You’re lucky; as unfair as that may seem. You should try turning your feelings of guilt into gratitude.” Picking up her writing utensils she asked, “How are things with you and Angel?”
Elizabeth breathed in through her nose as if a pleasant scent marched across the top of her lip. “He is so good to me. It’s been a long time but I finally feel like I’m deserving of having a good man in my life. Angel brings me out of my shell. He got me eating meat again, for crying out loud!” She laughed.
Dr. Baker smiled. “I’m really glad to hear that. He sounds wonderful.”
“He makes me feel safe. Even with all this.”
“So, take those feelings of safety and accept that you are stronger now. Let’s say for the sake of argument Steve did send the flowers, I am sure Angel will handle the situation. Aren’t you?”
Smiling and feeling a wave of confidence, Elizabeth said, “Of course I am.” She turned to look out the window. “I ran into Daniel DuPont yesterday.”
Looking at her curiously, Dr. Baker repeated, “Daniel DuPont?”
“Also known as Jenny Doyle. She was the woman who failed to come forward in Steve’s trial.”
“Ah, yes. I remember. That was the woman involved in the ongoing case with the casino owner, Richard Gardner, this past spring, right?”
Nodding her head she replied, “That’s her. I never even met the woman until that case and now every time I see her, I can’t help but feel – I don’t know – a little bitter, maybe?”
Dr. Baker slightly shook her head. “Understandable. But you can certainly see things from her point of view? After witnessing what Steve did to you, I can imagine she was frightened for her own well-being. Of course, you also have no idea how he treated her.”
“Well, we both have an idea, don’t we? But I get it. At least she’s cooperating with the Michelle Gardner case. That should be going to trial in a few more months.”
“People can grow and change over the years, Liz. I’m sure Danielle is as much a changed woman from six years ago as you are. Now, how about we address the elephant in the room?”
Elizabeth looked down at her hands and began fidgeting with her fingernails as if she didn’t hear the question.
Dr. Baker tilted her head in an attempt to make eye contact. “Elizabeth? How are you feeling about your parent’s anniversary coming up?”
“The same as I always do. The nightmares are back.” She looked back out at the barren garden. “You know the holidays are the hardest for me.”
“I do. But I also know your parents would be very proud of you if they were still with us. They would also want you to live your best life, free of all the guilt you keep bottled up.”
“That’s a little hard to do when Steve keeps popping up in my life. And, I still believe he had something to do with the accident.”
“You can’t live your life based on speculation, Elizabeth.”
“But what if it’s true?”
“The investigation proved otherwise,” Dr. Baker bluntly stated.
“Investigation? That wasn’t an investigation. Faulty brakes? My father never skimped on anything, least of all his vehicles. But no one would listen to me. They thought I was just a stupid kid going through a tragic loss.”
“There are some things in life we will never have the answers to. We must accept them as they are and do our best to move forward.”
The more she tried to ignore her truth, the more it persisted. “I’m not sure I can fully do that until Steve Robinson is out of my life. Completely.”