Chapter 43

 

Vicky and I were sitting in the office. It was New Year’s Eve and I’d planned to go with Spin to meet up with an officer on his payroll. I was trying to take an active hand in his business so I could help get information for the feds. My purse was wired like a motha fucka and then at the last second, Spin wouldn’t let me go. Then he insisted on dropping me off at work instead of letting me just drive my car.

“Do you think he knows?” Vicky asked and I nodded. “But how? Who all knows?”

“You, King, Janell, B.I.T.C.H. and some of the feds… Shit Vick I don’t know.”

“So you think someone’s feeding Spin information?” she asked and I nodded. “Who?”

“I don’t know Vick!” I was getting pissed off at all the damn questions.

How the hell was I supposed to know who all knew and who was giving him information?

“But they’re going to have to hurry the hell up and get it together. I don’t need him hounding me.”

Vicky looked nervous. “Why don’t you ask King to come down?”

I sighed, “Vicky, King has a family and—”

She was shaking her head. “He didn’t tell you?”

“What?”

“They ain’t been together fo’ about a year now. She took the baby and left.”

“Why?

“You.”

I had nothing to say. I didn’t understand. “What do you mean?”

“He was spending too much time on you.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

Vicky shrugged. “You were too busy…” she let the rest hang and I knew what she was not saying. Vicky shrugged again. “Shi, call him or I will.”

I nodded. I did not feel like having the New Year’s party I’d had planned. It was all too much for me. Fatima… it was all just too much. I’d almost had a few major break downs but a few talks with Dr. Richards and my latest killing spree dealt with a lot of anger. Murder is the ultimate anger manager and I am not condoning it, but it is easier than you think.

How people got caught I had no idea. Then again I was trained by the best, regardless of how sloppy Kevin’s murder was. Though it was dark me and the ride I was in was seen. Yet, and still there were no leads, and it was looked at as a drug deal gone bad.

I still had to help plan Fatima’s funeral, of course I was paying for it. With my money, not Spin’s.

I gave Vicky and the crew time off and they seemed to get over it. But not me. I ended up faking sick during the New Year’s party. Sista Washington attempted to come and stay with me, but I told her to enjoy her New Years.

I was visited in the room by Vicky and Ari. “Shi, I hope you feel better,” Ari said. “But tomorrow you need to meet with Eash and Silva so they can take you through your testimony and what you’ll need to say… we’ve kept you out long enough but now they gonna need a testimony for the grand jury.”

I nodded indifferently.

“Tomorrow, Starbucks in Hayward off Fruitvale; nine a.m.”

I nodded again and she was gone.

I was alone in bed for few minutes just looking at the wall when I heard a knock on the door. I didn’t respond. The door opened and King walked in. I was shocked to see him, when I saw him I almost ran to him. But I stayed in the bed.

He climbed in bed with me and I could care less if Spin saw us. I was holding back tears. I was in such a fucked up place.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

King knew what to say and when to say it. He knew how to hold me and I missed it so much. I needed him, I loved him. I wanted him and I couldn’t wait for it all to be over. Maybe when Spin went to jail I’d be able to finally be with him.

“It’s okay Shi…”

“I don’t know-”

He shhhed me. I thought of the Ne-Yo song I Call Your Name. Then I remembered his other song In the Way. “King,” I said. We were in the dark in my big bed. We were fully dressed, I was laying in his lap, holding on. I loved him so much and I needed him to love me too. I needed him to say it. I needed to hear it. But I probably wouldn’t so I let it go.

“Hmm?” he said.

“I heard a song that reminded me of us.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s it called?”

“In the Way?”

“Who sings it?”

“Ne-Yo.”

“How’s it go?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know it’s about-”

“No, sing it.”

“Huh?” I was no singer, like at all. “Sing it.”

I slowly went through the first verse and chorus. I broke down when I started the second verse as I thought about how we use to be and how the song was so true.

“And now we’re in the same state, but I be in the studio working extra late… Five in the morning; finally I get to leave, I’m coming home to you. But by the time I get there you’re already fast asleep.

“And I don’t like it, no this ain’t cool. Feelin’ like somethin’, just don’t want me with you… the world, keeps getting’ in the way. Tryin’ to get to you, but it seems like, everyday it’s somethin’ new. Baby the world, keeps getting in the way. With you is where I wanna be, but it just won’t let me, ‘cause it keeps gettin’ in the way…”

I was not about to try and hit nah high note. I left it at that and smiled when I felt the single drop land on my temple.