“Really, it’s fine.” Roman followed Sadie as she hurried down the polished tiled floor of the hospital entrance and pressed the button to the elevator. Louise was slung over his shoulder because he didn’t trust what his grandmother might do to her if he left her in his car. He wasn’t taking chances leaving her in Sadie’s ride, either.
“We can call you a car on my phone?” Sadie offered, rummaging through her handbag. “Or you can use my phone to call your brother or sister. That is, if they’re not part of the Babushka brigade. I could just call them, explain it all. That way it’s not weird. Or maybe it would be weirder if I did it? Maybe you should do it.”
God, he’d missed the internal debates she vocalized.
He couldn’t help but chuckle.
She frowned at him. “I’m just trying to help.”
“Trust me, you’re helping.” He wanted to touch her more than he wanted anything. His body practically pulled to her. “I’m just enjoying you. I forgot how much I missed listening to you argue with yourself.”
“I don’t argue with myself,” she said, but she didn’t look convinced.
“We all have our special gifts.” He adjusted the bag carrying Louise so it didn’t dig into his shoulder.
“Do you want me to call a rideshare for you?” Sadie asked.
Yes, she could do that. Except, he was actually enjoying spending time with her. Even if they were heading to the maternity ward. Anyway, he had no place to be that night and he was fairly sure that the Dvornakovs wouldn’t find him in the waiting room of Labor and Delivery at St. Luke’s.
He started to tell her just that when the elevator pinged and the doors slid open. Still digging in her purse, apparently having forgotten her line of questioning, Sadie hurried inside. She barely glanced up to ensure she didn’t run into anyone.
Luckily, the elevator was empty.
Roman followed. He pushed the button for the fourteenth floor. The elevator doors closed and the car started climbing.
“Got it,” she declared, yanking the iPhone free. “I’ll just call that car. But…” She traced her bottom lip with her teeth like she’d always done. Then she gave a hopeful look to the camera bag holding Louise. “You think since you brought Louise, she might be willing to take a few photo—” She swiped her thumb across the screen and gasped. “Oh my God.”
Her face went pale as she stared at whatever the hell was on the screen. The blood drained from her cheeks.
His body tuned into protective mode. Roman tapped down his raising heartbeat with techniques he used when photographing a particularly gnarly battlefield. “Sadie.”
Gravity was apparently heavier on her side of the elevator cab because she fell backward against the side.
Now he was officially flipped out. All the battlefield techniques weren’t going to work when Sadie had that look of shock on her face.
Then she grinned and did a fist pump in the air.
“Sadie?” Roman asked.
“He’s really here,” she said, not looking up. Excitement radiated from her pores.
“Sadie?” Roman asked again.
She lifted the screen so he could see.
A brand new, totally squished baby face filled the screen.
Sadie’s eyes misted, even as a perma-grin plastered to her lips. “I’m an aunt.”
Yes, she was. This was why they’d driven to the hospital in the first place, wasn’t it?
He studied the snapshot. Even squished, the kid was cute. Full shock of black hair, cute little nose, red cheeks.
“He’s a handsome guy.” Roman’s tone went gentle without him even trying.
Sadie’s jasmine-scented perfume wrapped around him, drawing him closer. Jasmine and happiness and the scent of a life he wanted so badly it pulsed through him.
Her pupils dilated when he stepped toward her. Her breath hitched. She was practically inviting him to kiss her. A girl in a relationship didn’t act like Sadie did around him. Didn’t run her thumb over his lower lip or lean into him like it was the most natural reaction.
He would’ve asked, too. But the elevator arrived at their floor and the doors slid open.
“I’m an aunt and Marlee had a baby,” she said, totally awestruck.
“That’s why we’re here, nohchnaya babachka.” Roman used the endearment from all those years ago. He didn’t kiss the crown of her head, but fuck, he wanted to. They needed some relationship status clarity before he went any further with her. “You’re going to be an awesome aunt.”
Sadie marched straight to the glass-paned windows surrounding the nurses’ station. She hit the button. She gave a quick explanation of who they were and why they were there, and the locked doors buzzed open. A nurse met them at the other side.
“I can wait here,” Roman suggested.
Sadie shook her head and motioned for him to follow.
Right. Photos.
“Or not.” He strode behind her.
He shifted Louise against his shoulder again. “Sadie?”
“Uh-huh.” She kept marching after the nurse, not even glancing his way.
“I can’t follow you in that room without them knowing I’m here. It’d be weird.”
Sadie stopped at that, turning to look at him. “Oh right. Um…”
“If they want any pictures or anything of the kid, I can make that happen.” Yeah, taking pictures of his brother and the woman he loved at their wedding followed by pictures of a newborn? Despite the fact his tires were flat, and his phone was stolen by his grandmother, and Sadie might have a boyfriend, the night did not suck.
Sadie swiped at more tears and nodded. “Let me just ask them.”
Then she followed the nurse.
Roman loitered outside the room while Sadie went in to do the aunt thing.
“They’d love it if you’d take some pictures.” Sadie’s voice sliced through his thoughts a few minutes later.
He glanced up. “Yeah, okay.”
He pulled Louise from his bag and did a quick check and adjustment of her settings.
“Go on in, I’ll follow in a second. I want to get some candids. You won’t even know I’m there.”
Candids were his specialty. One would think that a guy with the bulk of Roman couldn’t blend into the background, but he’d perfected that art over the years.
Sadie went back inside.
Roman waited a few beats. It used to be that posed photos were a necessity when he came home, and his mom had always insisted he do a family photo shoot. He used to think they absolutely sucked the life out of the enjoyment of capturing a moment.
He had preferred the real kind.
The unexpected.
These days, the posed shoots offered the control he craved after the chaos of combat photography.
On that note, he carefully opened the door so it made no noise and quietly closed it behind him. He was so silent the three of them in the room—well, four if you counted the kid—had no idea he’d joined.
Baby snug in her arms, Marlee did not look like she’d been laboring for the past hours. Hell, even her makeup hadn’t smudged.
Sadie tossed her head back and laughed at something Eli said, and Roman did what Roman did best—he captured the moment so they’d never forget.
Then, he snapped an extra picture of just Sadie.
Another of Marlee grinning down at the baby.
Another of Eli still in his tux with the backdrop of Denver lights out the window. He looked dazed and seemed to be in some kind of blissful shock.
Then, the jig was up because Eli noticed he’d entered.
“I got some good ones,” Roman said, holding up Louise in illustration before Eli could get pissed and protective that Roman had managed to slip in the room unnoticed.
Eli gave a not-pissed chin jerk in response. “Thanks, man.”
“Can I come over?” Roman asked Marlee. “Get some close-ups of the kid?”
“Luke. This is Luke.” Marlee nodded, but some kind of realization passed across her features. “And you’re Roman.”
“Roman,” he confirmed. Stepping up to the bed, he started clicking.
“Wait.” Marlee startled. “Roman?”
“Yeah?” He kept snapping the shutter.
“Roman with an R?” she asked, her voice rising.
“Yeah?”
“You’re military?” Marlee asked.
“Former.” Roman shifted position and crouched to get a solid shot of the baby without disrupting where he was burritoed in blue blankets.
“Well…” Marlee tried to smile, but it wasn’t a natural one.
He stopped snapping pictures. With that expression on her face, they wouldn’t turn out at all.
It was his turn to bite his lip. What had just happened?
“Hey, Eli?” Marlee looked at her husband. “Can you grab me a cranberry juice from the kitchen thing?”
“Now?” Eli asked.
“I’m seriously craving it,” Marlee replied. “And some of those cracker things, too?”
Eli took a long look at Luke before looking back at Marlee. “Whatever you want. Juice. Crackers. Anything else?”
“That’s all.”
“Coming right up.” Eli came out of his daze, leaned over her, pressed a kiss against her lips—Roman caught the whole thing on film—and then Eli was out the door.
“So this is R?” Marlee asked, the question directed toward Sadie.
Sadie blanched.
“This is R.” Marlee spoke to the baby in a baby voice. “This is Auntie Sadie’s R. The one mommy has been so curious about for a very long time.”
She was curious about him?
“I have to kill you now.” Marlee’s tone didn’t change, but the vibe in the room sure did. “It’s best friend code and you hurt my friend, so it’s only fair.”
Roman blinked. What the hell had just happened?
“I hurt your friend?” Roman asked the question in response to Marlee, but he gestured Louise toward Sadie.
“He didn’t hurt me.” Sadie’s jaw went tight. “And he’s not R.”
“I didn’t hurt her,” Roman said, mostly repeating Sadie and mentally thanking Marlee for sending Eli out before pouncing on him.
Marlee lanced Roman with a look that held the power of twenty grenades. “That’s not how I remember it.”
Well, if they were walking down memory lane—
“Marlee, not now,” Sadie whispered.
Something passed between the two of them.
Marlee cooled her jets.
“I’m reserving my judgment until I can speak to my best friend alone,” she said regally, like his babushka.
Was every woman in Denver taking Babushka lessons?
“I can step out?” Roman suggested. Getting out of the room seemed like the safest option at the moment. Maybe he could even grab some of the crackers and juice with Eli. It wasn’t vodka, but it’d work in a pinch.
“After you get some more photos?” Marlee stared at her baby, her expression turning soft. “I don’t want to forget any of this.”
“Sure thing, before you talk to Sadie and have to kill me and all that.”
Marlee laughed, so maybe he’d be alive tomorrow.
Roman took a few posed photos of the newborn.
He adjusted the edge of the kid’s blanket so he could get a better angle. “You and Sadie are tight?”
“We’re bestest best friends. So yeah.”
“You know Sadie’s boyfriend then? He’s good to her? Makes her happy?” He would suck it up and move on once more if she was really happy. It’d suck, but he’d do it.
Sadie stepped toward him. “Rome, let’s not…”
Expression blank, Marlee glanced up from the baby. “Sadie doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
“Marlee.” Sadie shook her head quickly. The blanched look disappeared as her cheeks flooded with color.
“You told R that you have a boyfriend?” Marlee frowned.
Sadie took a deep breath through her nose, her mouth pressed into a thin line. “I cannot believe this is happening.”
Well, frankly, neither could Roman, since he had no idea what was happening.
“Mar, I got your juice,” Eli said, his presence breaking the tension in the room.
He set the cup of juice on the table beside the bed where Marlee sat snuggling Luke.
Photos complete, Roman tucked Louise back in her fabric-lined bag. “I’ll get these to you soon.”
“You could give them to Sadie,” Marlee suggested, “R.”
“I feel like I’m missing something here.” Roman adjusted the strap of Louise’s bag around his neck.
“With these two, you probably are,” Eli said, deadpan. “Ignore it. That’s what I do.”
“I’ll make sure you get the pictures.” Roman had no phone, but he was pretty sure, if he asked nicely, Eli would let him use his phone to call a car or the security guys at the front desk would let him use a hospital phone.
Or you know what? He’d just walk over to the all-night diner across the street and grab some grub. Then he’d use their phone. Bonus, he’d get second supper.
“Thanks, Roman,” Marlee said, nuzzling the baby still snuggled against her.
“Congrats on little Luke,” Roman replied.
He lifted his chin to Eli. Eli returned the gesture. A quick nod to Sadie—who had gone remarkably still—and he headed out the door. Roman moved down the corridor of the hallway, past the nurses’ station, and through the heavy security doors, stopping at the elevator.
He pressed his thumb on the down button.
“Rome,” Sadie said from behind, breathless. “I—”
Roman turned and Sadie went full-on Sadie.
“Marlee knew there was a military guy,” she said. “She only got the first letter of your name out of me. I didn’t… What we had that weekend, it wasn’t something I wanted to share with the rest of the world.”
Roman shoved his hands in his pockets.
“There’s no guy,” he called her bluff.
“I never said there was,” she replied, innocent like she hadn’t misled him.
Was she serious? Getting away on a technicality? Oh yes, Sadie loved her fine print. She dropped that camouflage veil over her facial expressions, turning into a calculated courtroom attorney.
“Let’s clarify this, shall we?” Turned out he had an attorney mode, too. “Since you’re trying to get yourself off on a technicality.”
The lip gloss she’d painted on her mouth in the car glistened as she parted her lips. He knew that look. She was ready to take full advantage of whatever technicality bullshit she was going to pull.
Yeah, he really did have that attorney mode, too. Cool and calm with a solid dose of calling her out. “You nose-fucked me, connected with me, and then let me believe you’re seeing someone else?”
“That’s not how it was.” Even as she said it, she backed herself smack-dab against the wall, crossing her arms.
He moved closer, not wanting to spook her, keeping his tone soft. “That’s not what it felt like.”
Sadie’s nostrils flared.
His blood pounded.
Sadie up against a wall? She was spit and fire and—he stepped back. Away. Not that he didn’t like her fire. Hell, it was one of his favorite parts about her. He just didn’t want to screw up a shot with her.
“I did not nose-fuck you,” she huffed. “Definitely not on my brother’s couch.”
He chuckled. “Then what do you call the thing you did with your nose? Hands on my jaw.” He shoved his hands to the belt of his tuxedo pants so he wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and touch her. Not yet.
“Why don’t you want to give us a real shot?” he asked.
Sadie balled her hands into fists. “It’s my job. Okay?” She puffed out her chest, full defense mode activated. “I can’t lose focus right now. Rome, you are someone I could totally lose focus over.”
He’d personally experienced the fire, the heat, the beauty of all that was being with Sadie. A career could never stoke that fire. Never understand all that she was.
Yet, she was serious. Totally serious.
“You used to want everything,” he said.
She’d wanted it all.
“We tried us once Rome, it didn’t work out.” She dropped her arms from her chest, then seemed not to know what to do with them, so she crossed them again.
“Maybe the timing just wasn’t right,” he said. “Lucky for us, times change.”
Sadie did not look like she believed things could change for them.
Roman had seen the worst of humanity. He’d also seen the best. There’d been so many trips around the sun where he’d documented both. In the end, he realized there wasn’t much to a traveling life if Louise and a shutter full of memories were all he had at the end of the day.
Living in front of the camera was the new priority—making memories for himself with a life that was unforgettable.
He craved the more—the all—Sadie had been so intent on.
The elevator doors slid open and Roman stepped inside. Sadie did not.
He reached out to push the main floor button but stuck his thumb on the button to hold the doors open instead.
“You’ve always had a way of making me wish that last day had gone differently. That I’d been a different person,” he said.
Shock passed over her features. “I learned a long time ago that I can’t have everything. I chose what made the most sense. My career,” she said softly.
“You don’t trust people, do you?” he asked.
“Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me. They always have.” She sighed. “But only I know what’s best for me.”
“A job can’t be all you want, Sadie.”
“What am I supposed to say? What do you want to hear?”
What was she supposed to say? Damn, he had no idea. What were either of them supposed to say?
“It was never all I wanted. But it’s all I have.” Her chest heaved. “It’s all I have, okay? Maybe it’s sad. But it’s all. I. Have.”
“It’s not all you have. You just can’t see it.” He dropped his thumb from the stay-open button and pressed the one for the ground floor.
The doors started to slide closed.
“It’s all I have,” Sadie said again.
Damn, she believed that.
Really truly believed that.
They were here at the hospital with her best friend, her brother, and her new nephew, and she fucking believed all she had, all that defined her, was her career?
They stared at each other, gazes locked as the doors sealed closed. The elevator started its descent to the ground floor.
There was so much wrong with everything he’d just uncovered about Sadie.
She could have an amazing career. She could be the best at what she did. But he was about to make it his mission to ensure she saw all the other pieces of her life that defined her, too. Her friendships, family, him.
Screw it all. Screw everything that made sense. The only thing that mattered was his Sadie.
She may not be willing to acknowledge that she was his. Not yet. But he was okay with that. He just needed more time to show her. Show her that she was everything.
That she always had been.
Even when she drove him crazy. Even when she made him want to pull his hair by the roots. It didn’t matter. She was Sadie.
She could have everything. Half of the life she’d dreamed about was not enough.
In his soul, he believed they were meant to be together—believed that what they’d had was how forever felt.
He’d just lost sight of that at the wrong time.