Karyn tried to convince herself that her good mood was simply a byproduct of the comment Jon Sebring made at the lodge earlier that afternoon. “You’re doing a fabulous job,” he’d told her, inciting an immediate smile.
It was true. She’d been performing far over what she’d even expected from herself. Still, it was nice to have her boss acknowledge her effort and his praise had gone a long way toward elevating her disposition.
Even so, she had to admit the real reason she was happy and bouncy and okay, giddy, could only be attributed to what lay ahead—an evening with Grayson Chandler.
Admittedly, she was slightly nauseated at the same time.
She stepped out of her shoes as she entered her bedroom. She’d have to shower and redo her makeup, curl her hair and get dressed—and she needed to make it out the door by seven in order to be on time. She hated being late.
They’d agreed to meet at the restaurant. So much better than the awkward greeting at the front door, not knowing whether or not to invite him in and for how long. Goodness, was she really going on a first date again?
She set her phone on the docking station by her bed and selected a playlist. While easy jazz filled the bedroom, she walked to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine, then returned to the bathroom.
After her shower, she dried her hair, then twisted the long strands into wavy spirals and stared at her reflection in the mirror. While she definitely wanted to look cute, she didn’t want to look like she’d tried too hard.
Satisfied with her appearance, she headed for her closet. Her wardrobe would take a little more thought.
She pulled a sleeveless black dress from the closet and held it up.
No, too formal. And too . . . black.
Her hands ruffled through the hanging items, considering options. Casual slacks and a cute top might be good.
The red sweater was tight and accentuated far too much. She wasn’t some lonely widow looking for action. The blue polka dot top was cute, but a bit too juvenile for this occasion.
Twenty minutes later, her bed was piled with apparel she’d tried on and discarded. Nothing seemed right.
That is, until she landed on a little sweater set from her bureau drawer. She’d nearly forgotten about the tangerine-colored cashmere tank and cardigan she’d never yet worn.
She’d ordered it after thrusting her iPad in front of Dean’s face. “Honey, look at this.”
Dean reluctantly pulled his attention away from the basketball game on television. “Look at what?”
“This. Do you like it?”
Dean had great taste in clothes and she often sought his opinion before making any addition to her wardrobe.
He shook his head. “Wrong color. Green washes you out.”
“It comes in other colors.”
Her husband pulled the electronic device closer and rang his finger over the screen, scrolling through colors until he landed on an image he liked. “Here, this one. This orange shade.”
Her hands pulled the garment from the drawer, letting the tissue drift to the thick carpet. Despite the memory connected with Dean, the brightly-toned sweater set would be perfect for the evening ahead.
After dressing, she stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bathroom for a final look. The outfit she’d chosen skimmed her curves nicely. Not too fancy, wasn’t super sexy, and Dean had been spot on. The tangerine sweater set made her look happy and really set off her dark brown hair and green eyes.
She looked really good.
Even so, her satisfying appearance did nothing to quell the nervous emotions now roiling in her stomach.
Despite the time showing on the clock and the need to get moving in order not to be late, she sank to the bed and stared at Dean’s photograph on the bedside table.
“Well, here goes,” she told him out loud, feeling her throat constrict. She swallowed, not knowing how to articulate her teeming thoughts beyond those few spare words. She stared at her wedding band, twisting it much as Dean had done the many times he’d held her hand while they watched television.
Karyn stood and went to the tiny wooden box positioned on her dresser. Her fingers slowly drifted over the crossed skis and his engraved name. She turned to her jewelry box and opened the tiny top drawer. Dean’s wedding band lay there, gold, barely worn and inscribed with a single word: Always
The same was inscribed in hers.
Her fingers lifted his ring and she held it for several seconds before she gently placed it back in the jewelry box. Her heart immediately grew heavy.
Karyn took a deep breath.
With renewed resolve, she returned to the bed and grabbed a tube of rose-scented hand cream from the bedside table drawer and squirted a dollop into her palm and began working a bit around her third finger. She twisted the band back and forth, then took hold of the ring and pulled. It caught momentarily on her knuckle and then finally slid free, revealing a permanent line of smooth white skin.
This moment was the first time since Dean had placed the ring on her finger that she’d not worn that symbol of his love. She felt naked without it.
Trembling inside, she stood and laid her ring in the jewelry box beside Dean’s, noticing as she did so that her hand was also shaking.
Karyn stood there for several long seconds. Finally, she forced herself to close the little drawer and turn away.
The historic Ram Restaurant was located in the heart of what was known as the Sun Valley village, a centrally located area with walkable access to resort pools, golf courses, shopping, dining and many special events.
The Ram was one of Karyn’s favorite places to dine. Despite its notoriety, the Ram was the kind of place that served extraordinary food while still maintaining a relaxing and unpretentious atmosphere.
With her clutch tucked under her arm, she made her way into the restaurant and glanced around. Grayson was already there, standing just inside the entrance. He smiled when he saw her—a warm, welcoming smile that made her all tingly inside.
“Hi, Grayson. I hope I’m not late.”
As she moved toward him, she saw his gaze drop to take in what she was wearing. The appreciation evident on his face both eased and sent her nerves dangling from the ceiling.
“Oh, no. You’re not at all late. I showed up early.” He grinned. “A bad habit of mine.”
He took her elbow, a little tentative, like he wasn’t exactly certain if the gesture was too forward.
She quickly reassured him with a smile.
“You look—uh, you look really nice.”
“Thank you,” she said, likewise admiring his chinos and crisply pressed button-down shirt.
“I thought you might like to sit outside. The evening’s fairly warm and they have gas heaters.”
She nodded, wishing she didn’t feel so nervous. “I love dining al fresco.”
As if on cue, a maître d showed up and escorted them to an outdoor courtyard dotted with linen-draped tables, sheltered by umbrellas with tiny lights. Flower boxes filled with colorful blooms topped the wrought iron railing. Beyond, an expansive green lawn led to a large pond with paths leading around the border, all landscaped with tall pines and bedding areas brimming with more brightly-colored flowers.
They were seated at a table a bit away from other diners.
“Are you sure it won’t be too cold out here for you?” Grayson asked.
She shook her head. “No, this is perfect.”
A musician played a soft melody on a piano located closer to the entrance. She waved in his direction and he nodded back at her.
“Someone you know?”
She tilted her head and let out a little laugh. “I know most of the locals. That’s Larry Harshbarger. He plays for a lot of area weddings and events. A really nice guy.”
“It must be great living in the community you grew up in.”
She smiled, starting to feel a bit more at ease. “Well, yes. Sometimes that’s true. Of course, we have a regular influx of tourists. Those of us living in Sun Valley get the best of both worlds, I suppose, where we get to enjoy our small community and the world comes to us.”
A waiter appeared at their table and handed them large green menus embossed in gold lettering.
“Anything you’d recommend?” Grayson asked as he opened his.
She offered a big smile. “All of it.”
Grayson ended up ordering the braised lamb shanks with parmesan polenta and roasted baby carrots. She selected the seared wild King Salmon in ginger plum crème sauce.
“Could you also bring us a bottle of the Regusci cabernet?” Grayson added as they handed back their menus.
“Certainly, sir. Fine selection.” The white-gloved waiter retreated from their table.
She looked across at Grayson. “A wine connoisseur?”
“Hardly.” He placed the large linen napkin across his lap. “My wife—’er ex-wife’s—family lives in Napa Valley, California. I picked up a couple of pointers.” He paused. “I’m sorry, I never meant to start off our conversation with—”
“What? That you’ve been married before?” She shrugged. “Goodness, we both have histories. We’re not exactly teenagers.”
He really smiled then, a broad smile laced with laughter. “Yeah? Then why did I feel like a pimply-faced-fifteen-year-old while I was getting ready tonight? I don’t date much,” he admitted.
“Then we’re well matched.” Their eyes met across the table. “This is my first since—well, since the accident.”
That information wasn’t likely a surprise to him, not after seeing her come undone at the Hemingway Memorial that day.
“I’m honored to be the first.” He paused, looked at her seriously. “I really mean that.”
He fingered his butter knife. “I hate to admit this, but early after the divorce I kind of swore off ever doing any of this ever again.”
She found his admission charming. “Yeah, that’s my story too. But we’ll get through this,” she assured him.
He leaned back. A grin sprouted at the corners of his mouth. “I think the problem is that you look so pretty tonight.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Oh, is that so?”
“Yes, true story,” he said, giving her a warm smile that left her feeling a bit untethered. “I’m really glad you agreed to spend the evening together.”
“I’m glad too.”
There was a time she could never have imagined this day. Sure, she knew a time would come when she’d be compelled to take this brave new step, or face a lifetime filled with loneliness, but she’d dreaded the aspect of the actual doing. Heavens, her Facebook status still said married.
It’s as if one day she’d sent her favorite well-worn jeans off to the cleaners only to learn the washing machine had malfunctioned and ripped them up, forcing her to shop for another pair. That, or stay in her house to avoid walking around naked.
And, you couldn’t buy just any pair. The new brand had to be sized perfectly and suited to fit your body type.
He reached across and lightly touched her arm. “You look like you just drifted a million miles away. You okay?”
She quickly nodded. “Oh, yes. I’m fine. I was just thinking about how nice it is when you find someone who fits,” she blurted, immediately embarrassed by her unfiltered admission.
Thankfully, the wine steward appeared and uncorked their wine. Grayson took the obligatory sip and nodded his approval. Their waiter then placed the salad course—pears and arugula lightly dressed with a huckleberry vinaigrette.
Karyn went for her fork, determined to change the subject. “I’m curious. Of all the places you could have landed, why Sun Valley?”
“Well, after the divorce I knew I wanted to leave everything familiar behind.” He stabbed a piece of lettuce. “Too many memories.”
“I bet you loved Alaska.”
“I did. Winters were harsh though. The long hours of darkness were as tedious as one might suspect. The landscape was magnificent though. Thankfully, this area has its own stunning beauty.”
She nodded in agreement. “It sure does. I pity people who live back East. They think they’ve seen mountains until they get a good look at the Sawtooths.” She shook her head and scooped a bite of salad. “I never take living here for granted. Despite the surrounding beauty, the entire area has such a ripe history.”
She explained how Averell Harriman, the chairman of the Union Pacific Railroad and a lifelong skier, had determined America needed a resort like the ones he’d once visited in the Swiss Alps.
“Harriman launched an extended national search for the perfect location,” she told him. “He finally purchased the nearly four-thousand-acre Brass Ranch bordering the tiny mountain town of Ketchum, Idaho and commenced construction. Seven months later, he dubbed his new resort Sun Valley and people from across America packed up their ski equipment and rushed to ride state-of-the-art chair lifts up Baldy Mountain.” She paused. “I’m sorry. I must sound like a tourist guide.”
“No, not at all.” Grayson slid his empty salad plate aside and reached for a second piece of bread. “I find all this extremely interesting. Please, go on.”
“Well, celebrities soon flocked to the area—Gary Cooper, Clark Gable and Errol Flynn. Lucille Ball, Marilyn Monroe and later, the Kennedys. In fact, Marilyn Monroe ate at this very restaurant back in 1956 when she was here filming Bus Stop. I believe there’s a framed photo on the wall inside.”
She paused as the waiter approached their table with their entrees. “Can I get either of you anything else?” he asked after he’d placed their food. He looked in Grayson’s direction. “More bread, sir?”
Grayson sheepishly glanced at the empty basket and shook his head no. Once the waiter retreated and they were alone, he scooped and sampled a bite of his lamb shanks. “I think these are the best I’ve ever tasted,” he said appreciatively. “Hands down.”
Karyn tasted her salmon. “If you like lamb, wait until you attend your first Trailing of the Sheep Festival.”
“I heard a bit about that. Sounds like a great time.”
“The festival is held every fall. My sister, Leigh Ann, chairs the committee. Lots of fun, and unbelievable food. You’ve got to go.”
Grayson beamed. “I’d really like that.”
As they talked over dinner, she learned he liked to cook, and rarely followed a recipe. She really didn’t like to cook, but when she did she rarely veered from the ingredient list. They both loved to eat. And read. He was a James Patterson fan, which made her giggle.
“What? You’re a book snob?” he teased her.
“Not necessarily. I just figured you’d gravitate more to—” She paused and considered his apparent affinity for the outdoors. “—well, more towards someone like Larry McMurtry.”
“You got me there. I loved Lonesome Dove.”
As their discussion turned to growing up in Sun Valley, she recounted a funny story about Rory Sparks, the sheriff in town and her former classmate. “The final week of our senior year in high school, we arrived on Monday morning to find a half dozen cows on the school roof. To this day, no one knows exactly how Rory got those cows up there, only that he finally confessed to the prank at our class reunion last year.”
Grayson’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding! How’d they get them down?”
“A hoist borrowed from over at the county building. Followed by several shovels.”
“Shovels?”
She nodded and grinned. “For what was left behind.”
They both laughed.
Somehow, each of them finally relaxed and their discussion now came easily. She studied his face as he spoke, taking in the way his mouth moved and enjoying how he looked at her while he was talking, like she was the single most important person in the entire restaurant.
When the dessert menu was delivered to their table, she reviewed the selections carefully and ordered crème brulee, her favorite.
She gave Grayson a rueful smile. “Dessert calories don’t count.”
He laughed. “In that event, I’ll have the same.”
The waiter offered them coffee and her date ordered them both a cappuccino.
“I’ve really had a nice time tonight, Grayson. But, I feel like I did most of the talking. In fact, I believed I rambled on a bit. I learned very little about you.”
“In that case, maybe you’d agree to a little walk around the village before I take you home?”
“That’d be wonderful,” she told him.
They ate their crème brulee while listening to Larry Harshbarger play show tunes on the piano.
“Do you like movies?” he asked.
“I love movies,” she told him. “But not many of the current releases. They seem far too violent. Nothing like the great epics from years past.”
“And your favorite?”
“I can’t say I have one favorite, but—” She paused, weighing whether he might scoff at her choice like Dean had. Men rarely understood a woman’s heart when it came to great stories. “Well, very near the top of the list is The Titanic. I loved how Rose shed the need to please everyone and became her own person—stepped into a life she wanted to live leaving the one that had been designed for her to inhabit behind.”
She waited for a mocking comment. None came.
He only smiled and said, “Yeah, that’s a really good one.”
Karyn returned his smile and scooped a final creamy bite into her mouth, savoring the slightly caramel flavor of the egg custard. “What’s yours?”
“Mine?”
He thought a minute. “You’ll laugh.”
“No I won’t,” she assured him.
He hesitated. “Superman.”
She couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows in confusion. “The guy with the cape?”
“See? There you go.”
She giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry. But, that one really doesn’t fit.”
He quickly clarified. “Maybe, but every boy grows up hoping to be a hero.”
When they’d finished, Grayson paid the bill and they wandered out the door and into the star-filled night.
“Which way?” he asked.
“Let’s circle the pond and then browse the shops on the boardwalk.”
He nodded and they headed past the European-styled Sun Valley Inn, with its chalet gabled roofline, shuttered windows and overflowing flower boxes all beautifully illumined with uplighting. “When I was little, I used to think this was the same house where Snow White ran into the dwarfs.”
“Quite the imagination.” He chuckled and reached for her hand, weaving his fingers in her own. She focused on the feel of his calloused skin against her own, fighting the flash idea she was betraying her dead husband.
“Oh, yes,” she continued, pushing the intrusion from her mind. “Me and my sisters used to pretend a lot. Often, we’d play like our nighties were glamorous gowns, march up and accept our Prell shampoo bottles and take turns giving magnificent Oscar speeches.”
This time Grayson tossed his head back with laughter. “Love that. I once took the cardboard box our new Sears range came in, drew elaborate instruments with my crayons and spent hours flying the countryside.”
She tilted her head in his direction. “Do you have siblings?”
“Nope, only child.”
She immediately felt sorry for him, and told him so. “I don’t know what I’d do without my sisters. And my dad, of course.”
They walked in silence for several seconds. “What happened to your mother?” he finally asked.
They passed a stand of quaking aspen trees, the limbs thick with tiny green leaves barely visible in the dark.
“She died when I was ten. Cancer..”
“You’ve had to deal with a lot of loss.” He gently squeezed her hand.
She appreciated his comment, one she’d heard often from others in various forms. “What about you?” she asked, diverting the conversation. “Did you grow up in Alaska?”
He shook his head. “No. A little town in the middle of Washington State—Toppenish. Located on the Yakima Indian nation.”
“Yeah?”
“Not much to do there, except hunting, fishing and sports. My mom and dad owned a tackle shop. They both passed away years back. Dad a heart attack and mom cancer.”
“So, you’ve known loss as well.”
He nodded. “And extreme happiness.”
She liked that about him. He didn’t pretend life wasn’t hard, but instead of getting mired in the unfairness and hurt, he’d determined to embrace the good things and be happy.
They neared the Opera House. The lights on either side of the entry reflected brightly on the sidewalk.
She took a deep breath. “Tell me about her,” she ventured.
The question may have crossed the bounds of proper manners. Especially on a first date. But she had this overwhelming curiosity. All he had to do was look up Dean on the internet and he could find out all he wanted to know. On the other hand, she was a bit handicapped.
His voice grew thoughtful. “What do you want to know?”
She shrugged, wishing now that she’d restrained herself. Obviously, she’d made him uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I just—”
“No, that’s okay,” he assured her. “I’m an open book. Well, maybe not with everyone—but if you want to know, I’ll tell you.”
He led her to nearby bench facing the pond. They sat.
“Are you getting chilly?” he asked. Without waiting for a response, he placed his arm around her shoulder to ward off the cool night air.
“Hmm—where do I start? I guess at the beginning.” He stared out over the pond water. In the light from the posts lining the sidewalks, she could see him thinking about what he wanted to say.
“I met Robin at a Seahawks post-game party. She was gregarious, funny—one of those individuals who shine in the spotlight. Like everyone else, I was drawn to the way she made a person feel like you’d been her friend for years—even if you’d just met. Guys were constantly hitting on her.”
Karyn nodded. She knew the type. Everyone had flocked to Dean as well.
“It was nearing the end of the evening. I don’t drink a bunch, so I figured I was going to be the designated driver and chauffeur all my buddies safely home. That is, until Robin made her way over and introduced herself. We hadn’t talked ten minutes and she asked if I’d give her a ride. Apparently, her girlfriends had already headed back and left her.”
The corners of his lips drew into a slight smile. “I was terribly flattered. Any of those guys at the party would have fallen all over themselves to be alone with her, and she’d picked me to escort her safely back to her hotel.”
His thumb lightly rubbed against her shoulder.
“We married six months later. I don’t even remember who asked who. All I know is, before much time had passed, we’d set a date and she was shopping for a dress and I was trying to scrape enough funds together for a ring that she wouldn’t be embarrassed to wear.” Grayson chuckled. “I wasn’t exactly rolling in dough back then.”
Karyn sensed a shift in his demeanor. His voice held an intensity that was honest and raw and irresistible at the same time. She urged him to continue.
“Anyway, fast forward through the next few years. We moved to Seattle and she landed a job as a stockbroker and did really well. Her earnings allowed us to buy my plane and together we made the decision to move to Alaska when she was offered the opportunity to open an office in Anchorage. Alaska was the perfect place for a backcountry pilot and Robin believed there was a lot of money to be made advising people in the oil industry. She was right, of course. On both counts.”
Karyn watched a duck glide silently across the pond water and nestle in a stand of reeds. “Sounds like things were pretty good.”
He nodded. “They were. Until they weren’t.”
He paused briefly. Took a deep breath. “She stopped coming home for dinner. Traveled more. She quit calling and checking in.” She could feel him tense. “And then she fell in love with someone else.”
Karyn’s chest caved with empathy. “I’m—I’m so sorry.”
Grayson sighed. “Yeah, not a great ending. I’m generous but there are some things I never share. I left her to her oil exec, gave her the house and all our belongings. I took the plane, moved here and I’ve never looked back.” He gave her hand a little squeeze. “That’s it. Now you know my story.”
Karyn eyed him, realizing for the first time there might be a loss more painful than her own situation. She simply couldn’t imagine that kind of betrayal and how a person could not be filled with bitterness after something like that. “Grayson—” She muttered his name with a tone that was warm and caring. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Your turn. What about you?”
“Me?” She took a deep breath and considered what to say. “Well, before Dean died, I’d generally considered myself a cheerful person. I opened my eyes each morning and felt excited to be alive, know what I mean?”
He nodded.
“And then the call came—the one that shattered my world.”
The night air suddenly sent a chill across her skin. Grayson seemed to sense her need for warmth and lent her his by pulling her closer. He rubbed her arm.
“I raced to St. Moritz, wanting to see him. I knew he’d have a long haul ahead, that his racing career had ended. But I would be there for him. I’d help him adjust.” She paused. “But when the doctors finally came out to report his condition, one look in their eyes told me he was already gone.”
Now it was his turn to express his sorrow over the pain she’d endured.
She drew a much-needed breath. “In the days following the accident there were spans of time—minutes, hours and even days when blinking and breathing and speaking all took so much effort that I thought I might as well give up. I was in a dark hole of sadness and anger and confusion.” She paused, realizing this was the first time she’d admit what was to follow. “I didn’t think I was going to make it.”
“But, you did.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “My sisters never left my side. They literally held my hand and never let as much as a finger untie from our grip. My dad too.
She bit at her lip as emotion clogged her throat. “When my world was torture, they gave me hope, a breath of fresh air, and a tiny scrap of faith that the dark tornado that threatened to eat me whole might begin to change—and get better.”
“We have a lot in common,” he said. “Most especially that life can shift under your feet.”
She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Yes, life shifts. But we’re still standing.”
There was something about that moment—a kind of shared vulnerability that established an affinity between them. She was not the only one who had taken a leap of faith and decided the darkness wouldn’t win.
She stood and lifted him to his feet. “C’mon, let’s go.” Together they walked the short distance around the pond to the boardwalk lined with shops. Some were darkened, but a couple of storefronts remained open.
“Hey, do you think there’s a place where we could get some ice cream?”
Her hands went to her very full stomach. “You’re kidding right? I couldn’t possibly eat another bite.”
He grinned. “Okay, I ’fess up. I guess I simply wanted to prolong the evening just a little.”
“Well, we’ll just have to agree to do this again—soon.”
In the parking lot, Grayson walked Karyn to her car and waited while she dug her keys from her purse. When she’d successfully unlocked the driver’s side door, she turned to face him. “Thank you again for inviting me out tonight. I really had a great time.” She paused and grinned. “And that’s the truth.”
“Yeah, same for me.” He moved closer, stopping a breath away. His approach launched a nervous ripple through her. Was he going to kiss her?
She almost wanted him to. At the same time, it felt too fast.
He must’ve thought so too. He simply rested his broad hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “I had a great evening. I closed on the house earlier this week. Once I get moved in, perhaps you’d allow me to grill you a steak?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “I’d like that.”
This was the awkward part, but she meant what she said. She really hoped they could spend more time together. She liked Grayson, the easy way they seemed to connect. He was warm and charming. At no time in the evening had she felt the need to adjust herself to fit his expectations. Or even impress him really.
“What about tomorrow?” she blurted before she could censor herself. “What I mean is, you must still have boxes everywhere. So, we can grill at my house.” She cleared her throat. “I mean, if you want to.”
He was grinning from ear-to-ear. “Sure, that would be great.”
“Excellent!” Her heart wouldn’t seem to stay still. “Let’s plan on seven.”
Karyn climbed in her car and bid Grayson goodnight as he closed the door, then started the engine, waved her fingers and backed out.
She couldn’t help it. Unexpected happiness bubbled up from inside and overflowed in the form of a wide smile—a smile she carried with her as she drove away, knowing he was watching.