He should have never left Alaska.
Sure, in Alaska Orion woke to his breath in a hover of mist over his face, his fireplace having simmered to a low flame, the room lit in gray, the sun denting the eternal night. But he belonged in all that cold and darkness, under the shadow of unforgiving Denali, buried under a numbing layer of ice and snow.
There, his anger couldn’t break through, couldn’t ignite with the injustice of the daily news.
Couldn’t consume him with helplessness.
It was better to be cold.
The vast aloneness of Alaska allowed him to breathe, despite the stinging cold in his lungs. Allowed him to scream without anyone knowing.
“I hate New York City,” Orion muttered now, just below his breath, but loud enough for Ham to hear as they boarded the 4 train.
“You just need coffee,” Ham said.
“Vats of it.” Orion tried to ignore the man who knocked into him, bumping him into the subway pole.
Orion wanted to blame his dark mood on the ache in his bum knee, the fact that his body should still be sleeping, the static in his brain evidence of his jet lag. Maybe he should attribute his general sour attitude about humanity at large on the fact that his buddy Ham had insisted they route through Memorial Park to spend a few moments staring into the acre-wide footprint of the North Tower.
Orion had fisted his hands into his canvas jacket, the wind bullying him, the sun glaring off the glass of One World Trade Center and watched as the waterfalls stirred up a mist into the brisk April air.
He couldn’t escape the thud in his chest.
The start of the War on Terror, right here—a war that still hadn’t been won, despite the casualties, the sacrifices, the personal losses.
All of it put Orion into a humdinger of a stormy mood.
Then he spotted the punk kid with the look of a thug slide through the closing doors of the subway car.
He didn’t know why, but all the hackles rose on the back of his neck.
White, midtwenties, rail thin, the young man wore a grimy Knicks jersey, a pair of ripped jeans, and the fuzz of a few nights on his chin. He radiated an odor that suggested a night or two spent in the same clothing.
Maybe the guy was homeless—Orion shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Clearly he’d watched one too many episodes of Law and Order during his months in rehab. Orion had probably looked the same way when he arrived at LaGuardia, freshly out of hibernation at his homestead under the loom of Denali.
Orion dismissed the kid and hung onto the bar overhead as the train pulled away from Fulton station. “We could have walked to Foley Square,” he muttered to Ham, who leaned his shoulder against the pole, clearly used to the jerk and roll of the New York metro.
Ham’s gaze was tracking Knicks as he moved halfway down the car.
So Orion wasn’t the only one whose instincts fired.
“You’re limping,” Ham said, not looking at him. He sounded as grumpy as Orion. “And we’re late. The rally has already started.”
“I’m not an invalid. My knee just doesn’t like eight hours on a plane.” He watched as the guy nudged up behind what looked like a college student, brown hair, fuzz on his chin, clean-cut, a black backpack with a purple NYU logo on the flap hanging over his shoulder. “I hope White has answers.”
“If anyone can track down Royal, it’s Senator White. He’s on the Armed Services Committee.”
Orion glanced away, toward the other side of the car. A couple women sat with their bags clutched on their laps. Another woman stood, her bag over her shoulder, scrolling through her phone. A man in a suit coat and satchel was reading the paper, folded in half in his grip.
Behind them a young man wearing a black hoodie, earbuds affixed, bobbed his head to music. He caught Orion’s eye, then looked away.
“You should have told me that you went to rescue Royal and Thorne,” Orion said, looking at Ham.
Ham met him with a frown. “It wasn’t my information to give.”
Orion’s mouth tightened. “I wasn’t thrilled when Logan Thorne landed on my doorstep last summer, very alive and packing a conspiracy theory.”
Ham turned to face him, as if ready to share answers as to why a former Navy SEAL who’d been taken by the Taliban in Afghanistan some three years ago had appeared alive, although shot, and in the backwoods of Alaska. Thorne surfaced with stories of an off-the-books rescue mission, a CIA cover-up, and the desperate fear that someone was still out to get him.
Thorne’s story sat in Orion’s gut and chewed at him until, some five months later, he finally contacted former SEAL Hamilton Jones.
Ham invited him to NYC to tell his story to Senator Isaac White, who served on the Senate Armed Services Committee and had ties to the CIA. If anyone could find Royal, it was the people who’d been behind his disappearance. Besides, they owed Orion answers about a number of things. So yes, he’d emerged from the woods for a face to face with White.
Ham had been bugging him anyway to join his private international SAR team, Jones, Inc.
Hello, no. The last thing Orion wanted was to dive back into the world of spec ops and medical tragedies. He’d barely survived last go-round.
Had left behind buddies, pieces of himself, and a broken heart.
“Listen, that rescue mission blew up in everyone’s faces and got a good man killed, so no, my first thought wasn’t to call you,” Ham said. “Besides, if I remember correctly, you were still in Germany—”
“Knock it off.”
The sharp voice turned both Ham and Orion. Knicks had jostled NYU enough to get a rise out of the college kid. “Step back.”
Knicks, however, came up on him, gave the student a push. “What? You got a problem with me?”
Ham stiffened.
NYU moved away, hands up. “I don’t want any trouble.”
What he said. Orion’s jaw tightened. Please don’t let the kid be armed.
The car swayed as it screamed through the tunnels. Orion glanced at the next stop on the map above the door—Brooklyn Bridge–City Hall station, still three minutes away.
A couple people pulled out their phones.
A ripple of fear silenced the subway as Knicks took another step toward NYU. Then he got in his face with a string of expletives that even Orion hadn’t heard before. And he’d been in spec ops boot camp, a special kind of H-E-double-hockey-sticks.
Yikes.
Orion’s code of honor made him glance, almost in apology, at the women standing in the back of the car and—wait, what?
Knicks and the man in the hoodie might be working in tandem because, hoodie slipped past one of the women with what looked like her wallet disappearing into his front pocket.
Aw, shoot. The last thing Orion wanted was to get tangled up in other people’s trouble.
On the other side of the car, the altercation erupted. Knicks cornered the pale, yet angry NYU student who was trying to bump past him.
When Knicks shoved the kid against the door, Ham moved.
Orion should have expected it. Ham wasn’t the sit-around type—even when they were serving at their base in Asadabad, Ham got to know the locals, as well as everyone on base. The man was the base party coordinator—he’d fashioned a basketball hoop and nailed it to a pole, even dragged in music.
He’d also started a prayer meeting, but that was Ham, the rescuer of lost souls.
Probably why the man wouldn’t stop hounding Orion about leaving the woods and joining the living.
No, thank you. Mostly because Orion had nothing left to give, the rescuer inside him all tapped out.
Truth was, he just wanted to mind his own business.
Not with Ham around. The former SEAL took four steps and didn’t break stride as he slammed into Knicks. At six foot three, Ham could be imposing when he wanted to, and part of the PR for his small empire of GoSports gyms meant a regular workout.
Knicks hadn’t a prayer.
In a second, Ham had his arm around Knicks’s neck, pressing into his carotid artery and jugular vein, cutting off the air.
G’night, pal.
Knicks clawed at Ham’s arm, stumbled back, and Ham brought him down gently, letting him go when the man slumped into unconsciousness.
For a second, no one moved.
Then, clapping erupted through the car, even as Ham stood up and put a foot on the man’s chest. “Stay down,” he said, not raising his voice as the kid rose to consciousness.
The train started to slow.
Orion glanced at Hoodie. He’d moved toward the door, his head down. The only one, it seemed, not watching the debacle at the front of the train.
Aw, shoot.
Because Orion really didn’t come here to make trouble, find trouble, or even insert himself into the middle of trouble.
And yet . . .
He couldn’t live with himself. No way Hoodie was getting away.
Orion stepped up in front of him, blocking the door as the train pulled into the station.
Hoodie looked up. Dark eyes, a hint of dark whiskers, and his eyes narrowed.
“Give it up,” Orion said and held out his hand.
Hoodie frowned.
“The wallet.” He didn’t take his eyes off the man. “You’re not getting off without returning it.”
“Get out of my way,” Hoodie said as the car rolled to a stop.
The doors opened.
Sure, Orion could have moved. Could have given in to the life mantra he’d that he’d embraced with two hands, clutching it to his chest after the tragedy in Afghanistan—it wasn’t his problem.
But he was tired of evil winning, or at least winning the battle, and maybe God had put him right here to save one hardworking woman from having to spend the day fighting identity theft.
Not that that he actually believed God intervened anymore, but apparently Orion still did, so— “I don’t think so, buddy.”
Hoodie tried to move around him, but Orion grabbed his shirt and slammed him back against the pole. Glanced at the woman from whom Hoodie had lifted the wallet. “Check your bag, ma’am.”
She stared at Orion in horror, then searched her bag.
Hoodie grabbed his wrist, but Orion jerked his hand, turning it, and in a second, he had the thief turned around in a submission hold.
“It’s gone.”
Yep. He knew it. “Give it up and I’ll let you go,” Orion said to Hoodie.
“Ry, what’s happening?” Ham came over dragging Knicks by the shirt.
“Meet the dynamic duo,” Orion said. “The old sleight-of-hand trick.”
Hoodie was struggling, swearing, kicking out at Orion.
Sheesh, he didn’t have time for this. With everything inside him, he just wanted to put the guy on the floor, put his knee in his back.
Okay, and maybe school the jerk about old-fashioned right and wrong.
But he was trying not to be that guy, despite the stir of anger in his chest, so Orion reached around him and grabbed the wallet from the pouch in his sweatshirt.
He released his hold just enough for Hoodie to turn.
The kid slammed his foot into Orion’s knee.
Pain spiked up his leg as his leg buckled.
Just like that, Orion landed on the deck, his hand gripping the wallet. Hoodie took off running.
Orion bit back a word.
Knicks shouted, and Ham must have let him go because he nearly stepped on Orion on his scramble away from the car.
“Are you okay?” The woman knelt next to him. He felt like a fool, trying to gulp back a whimper.
But, holy cannoli, he wanted to let out a scream. “Yeah,” he said, his voice strangled. He handed her the wallet.
“You’re a hero,” she said, “Thank you.”
He wanted to respond, to shrug her words away, but it was all he could do to catch his breath.
Ham was helping him up, and heaven help him, Orion let him do it, trying desperately to fix a smile on his face.
“No problem,” he finally managed. His voice sounded like a fist had closed around his lungs, and it felt like it, too, as he limped out, the doors closing behind him.
He leaned against the wall.
Ham stood behind him. “Well, that was fun.”
“I need that coffee,” Orion said. He ground his teeth, pushing up, finding his balance.
Ham hesitated. “Or, maybe you need one more second?”
Orion sucked in a breath. “I thought you said we were late.” He limped out, trying not to wince and failing.
They took the escalator up to freedom—not a hint of Knicks and Hoodie. He did see their victim, NYU, however. The kid’s pack hung over his shoulder, his head down as he all but fled the station.
Poor kid. It never felt good to have to be rescued. Humiliating, really.
Orion worked out the pain in his knee as he climbed the stairs to Centre Street into the heart of New York’s court district. Protesters stood on the steps of the New York State Supreme Court building. The scent of hot dogs and gyros seasoned the air, and his gut growled. “I’m stopping in the Starbucks,” he said to Ham. “I’ll meet you at the rally.”
Orion glanced over to the plaza crammed with spectators. From a distance he could see White standing on a platform, half hidden by campaign signs. Orion knew the man by reputation only—apparently, Ham had served with him during his early days as a SEAL. Conservative, not easily ruffled, the man was rising quickly out of the stew of political contenders.
He didn’t care what stump speech Senator White delivered—if he got onto the presidential ballot, Orion would vote for him.
“Text me. I’ll find you,” Ham said and headed toward the crowd.
Orion crossed the street and entered the Starbucks, painfully aware that his knee burned deep with every step. As he stood in line, he eased off it. It had started to swell.
Next time he had the bright idea to get on a plane, he needed a good bang over the head. A reminder of the fact that his family had set down roots and stayed in Alaska for a reason. He didn’t know why the need to find Royal ground a hole through him, but he couldn’t pry it out of his mind. Answers—that’s all he needed, maybe. Answers to the question of how he and his other Pararescue Jumpers—PJs—had been ambushed on that mountain, in the back hills of Afghanistan. And not just the cosmic, survivor’s guilt kind of question, but the specific one—namely who in the CIA had pulled the trigger, armed with lousy intel that had sent two SEALS and two PJs to their graves.
Left two to be captured and tortured by the Taliban.
That question burned him awake in the long nights of the Alaskan winter, fueled an anger that he couldn’t seem to douse.
Maybe if he could find Royal, bring him home . . .
Orion ordered a Venti Americano and by the time he stepped back out into the brisk air, he felt almost human, the caffeine sloughing off the adrenaline, along with the dark edge of frustration. Across the street at the rally, a band played—a country music group that roused something home-grown and patriotic inside him. And, from deep in the well of his memory, stirred a voice, soft, light. “How do I live without you? I want to know. . .”
A simple song on the radio, sung by the girl he couldn’t forget on a base deep in the Kunar province. For a dangerous second, he let the memory light the darkness inside and stepped out onto the street.
Honking jerked him back. A taxi nearly sideswiped him.
Yeah, he hated the city.
The taxi driver flipped him off.
And people, really.
Orion waited with the crowd until the light changed then crossed over into the concrete park, searching for Ham. The crowd was still packed, the supporters not quite ready to give up the day, and Orion stood at the edge, scanning the crowd. His gaze landed on a familiar backpack—NYU. The college student he’d seen on the subway stood next to an abstract black granite sculpture. As Orion watched, NYU took off his pack and sat on the edge of the circular fountain, wearing a stripped, pale expression, a line of sweat streaking down his cheek.
The kid might be going into shock. The former trauma medic in Orion gave him a nudge.
Fine. He took a sip of his coffee and ambled over to the kid.
NYU abruptly got up, drew in a breath, and walked away.
Clearly, the kid was rattled because he’d left his backpack behind. Orion jogged up to it and lifted it. “Hey kid! NYU! You forgot your backpack.”
The student turned, glanced back, eyes wide. Stopped.
Orion tossed it toward him.
NYU’s mouth opened, and he grabbed the pack, clutching it to him as if it might be explosive. If possible, his face had gone even paler. “Thanks,” he shouted.
Orion had the strangest urge to follow him, put his hand on his shoulder, make him sit down, breathe.
He knew what it felt like to barely escape with your life, and sure, the kid hadn’t exactly been in mortal danger on the subway, but maybe his heartbeat hadn’t figured that out yet.
Poor kid should take the day off. Go back to his dorm.
Hide in Alaska . . .
As if reading his mind, NYU turned, walking away fast.
Orion let him go.
Turned back to the crowd.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out. Ham.
Meet me behind the stage, at the tour bus.
Orion texted back and moved around the crowd, working his way toward the large bus with Isaac White’s handsome mug plastered along the side.
Ham stood, hot cocoa in hand, talking with a couple security guys in suits who guarded a roped-off area. Wind raked his dark blond hair, lifted the collar of his leather jacket. He blew on his cocoa and nodded toward Orion when he spotted him.
One of the security guys walked over and let him in. Shook his hand. “Ham says you had a little scuffle on the subway.”
Orion shrugged. “No big deal. A couple thugs. We didn’t save the world or anything.”
The man laughed and Orion smiled as he walked over to Ham. Okay, it felt good to pull out the old warrior, dust him off. “You’re a hero.”
Not really. Not anymore.
The tour bus door opened, and a man walked down the stairs.
Orion had watched a few news clips of Isaac White but hadn’t expected the immediate charisma that radiated off the former SEAL. Graying hair, blue eyes, he took Orion’s outstretched hand with a two-handed grip. The man possessed the kind of smile that made Orion feel like he was in the presence of a movie star.
George Clooney, maybe.
“Senator,” Orion said, wishing he’d cleaned up a little better than his canvas jacket and a pair of jeans.
“Ham said you needed my assistance.” White angled Orion over to where Ham stood.
Orion’s mouth went weirdly dry. Fueled by anger for so long, it had suddenly abandoned him in the face of White’s seeming willingness to help.
Ham must have seen his stripped expression. “We’re looking for a teammate who went missing in the debacle in Afghanistan,” he said. “Operator Royal Benjamin. He was one of the two SEALS captured in the attack. And one of the two—”
“Who were rescued in your rogue op.” White looked at Ham. “I know.”
“Then you know that something isn’t right,” Orion said, finally finding his voice, a little more oomph to it than he probably needed. But the anger was returning. “The other SEAL, Logan Thorne, showed up on my doorstep last summer. He told me a story about the CIA trying to cover up what happened in Afghanistan—and, trying to kill him.”
White held up his hand, lowered his voice. “Not here, not now—”
Orion’s mouth closed, and the heat stirred in his chest. He should have known—
“Mistakes were made, for sure,” White said. “And the CIA knows it. But before you start throwing accusations around, let me do some digging.”
“C’mon, Senator—”
Ham shot Orion a shut-up look, but White talked over him.
“I’m not sure where your friend is, or if he’s even alive, but if you want me to find out, I’ll need some time.” He clamped a hand on Orion’s shoulder. “And patience.”
Orion wanted to believe him and his smile, but—
“Sir, we need you come with us right now.” One of the security agents stepped into the conversation. “There’s been a bomb found in the square.” He pushed White away from them, toward a waiting SUV. Ham jogged after him, Orion limping quickly behind them.
He caught up to the second agent. “What kind of bomb?”
The agent looked at him. “I don’t know. We found a backpack near the fountain. The bomb squad is on their way, and the police are evacuating the square. It could be the same kind of bomb that took out the San Antonio rodeo arena a couple weeks ago.”
San Antonio arena? Orion hadn’t a clue what he might be referring to.
That’s what he got for living off the grid.
Still, a fist had grabbed his gut, squeezed. “What kind of backpack?”
The man flashed his cell phone toward him.
Black, with a purple NYU stitched on the back pocket.
Orion slowed, stopped, watching as the agent climbed into the front seat.
Ham hung back and joined Orion.
“What?”
“That kid with the backpack.”
“Seriously?”
Orion finished his coffee and tossed the cup into a nearby trash can. “I’m going back to Alaska where I can stay out of trouble.”
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