Joshua awoke from yet another nightmare of being stuck on Kanaan while Sachiko went on to marry Malachai, of all people. He sat up and rubbed his face, trying to dispel the image, but it didn’t ease the heavy ache inside. He cut himself shaving and went to breakfast in a bad mood.
On the way there, he passed Leinad with a tall woman in green blouse and skirt. He couldn’t read the cool expression she wore when she glanced his way, but the look Leinad gave him as they passed made Joshua’s heart thunder and his feet quicken their pace to the cafeteria.
As he neared, he heard laughter. He paused at the doorway, listening. Deryl sounded relaxed, happy…and flirtatious.
Please, let me be wrong. Joshua took a breath and composed his features before entering.
His friend and Tasmae sat alone in the large room. They’d pushed their breakfast plates aside, and were talking in low, warm tones. They weren’t touching, but they didn’t need to. The look on Deryl’s face said enough.
Anyone else—back on Earth—and Joshua would have cheered him on. Here, now, with her—
Joshua shoved the implications into the back of his mind, but he skipped the buffet and went straight to their table.
“Well, this looks cozy.” He tried to keep the venom out of his voice. Please, let me be wrong.
The two smiled up at him. Deryl leaned away from Tasmae, just slightly, but enough.
Stay calm. Right now, you need to salvage the situation. He sat down. “So, saw Leinad on the way here. He didn’t look happy.”
Tasmae shrugged. “He does not like my decision.”
“Oh?”
Deryl, either oblivious or shielded against Josh’s feelings or too love-struck to care, started, “Tasmae and I were talking last night—“
“Talking? Really?”
“—and we think we might have figured out what’s going on with the Remembrance. Tasmae may only be half-trained as a Miscria, but she completed her primary warrior training.”
“I received my Miscria talent late,” She explained. “I would have been perhaps fifteen by your years.”
“And we’re getting close to the Season of War, so there’s a lot for a warrior to do, plus their own talents rev up naturally about this time, anyway. But the Remembrance can’t take that into account—it’s pure Miscria.”
Joshua shrugged. “So?”
Deryl rolled his eyes. “So, Tasmae’s warrior talents are fighting it. That’s why she keeps getting thrown out.”
Joshua felt the grip on his heart ease. “So it’s not us! That’s some relief, anyway. But why’s Leinad pissed?”
Tasmae shrugged. “I will rejoin the warriors today. Salgoud wants to show me their innovations, anyway. I will exercise my warrior talent; tonight, I will use my Miscria talent to try to predict and perhaps prevent any natural disasters from occurring. Tomorrow, I will enter the Remembrance, but only for the day.”
“Can you do that?”
Again she shrugged, this time with uncertainty. “They have a limited intelligence; usually they know better than to demand attention in this season. This one is behaving badly.”
Deryl giggled at her words, but Joshua didn’t find anything funny about it. “Maybe there’s a reason?”
“That is what Leinad believes, yet I am thrown out, without control over the timing. I gain nothing but confused impressions. No understanding, no insight. I learn nothing. Perhaps this way, I can influence the Remembrance to show me the order in chaos.”
“And I thought if we taught her how to create a control room…”
Joshua nodded. The control room was a simple NLP concept: work with your subconscious to create a command center where it could watch out for certain situations and create and test solutions. Joshua had taught Deryl to make one for his telepathic shields. “Well, it’s worth a try. You’re not teleping?”
“No. I am afraid to.” But she and Deryl exchanged glances.
“Uh huh. Well, I’ll talk you through it when you come back.”
Tasmae nodded, then stood. “We should go. It’s a long ride.”
Joshua stood with them, but caught Deryl’s sleeve and held it until she was ahead of them.
He leaned toward this friend’s ear. “You want to play with dynamite, you wait until you’ve gotten me home.”
Deryl rolled his eyes. “Relax. I’ve got it under control.”
Joshua released him, but he couldn’t help the sinking pit in his stomach.
He’d told Rique the same thing about his relationship with LaTisha.
*
They rode at top speed to the high cliffs, stopping only once to share a kiss where no one was around. They might not be able to telep, but Deryl could feel her emotions strong against his shields. He could sense her, the whole of her, and he knew if he gave into his desires, they’d share more than just their bodies.
He pulled away first. He had to keep his promise to Joshua.
They found Salgoud and a small team waiting at the observation point on one of the lower cliffs. Salgoud nodded to them and sent a telepathic query Tasmae’s way. He nodded with satisfaction as it bounced off the shields Deryl had taught her to create last night. He’d also taught Salgoud; and Salgoud in turn taught the warriors playing the Barin side. Today, they would fight using only their five mundane senses, and Deryl had coached the team leader how to do that.
I never did get any sleep after that nightmare, he suddenly realized. Didn’t matter; the excitement of being with Tasmae buoyed him, as did the energy of the warriors. Without realizing it, he drank it in, and as the exercise drew on, he felt the adrenalin of battle surging through him.
Back off, he told himself when he found his hands clenching into the grass against the urge to jump in and join the fray. That’s not you. Perspective. You’re here to observe.
Nonetheless, when he heard a yelp and saw a Barin-dressed warrior grab Tasmae by the hair, something in him snapped and he stood, roaring.
*
Joshua ate alone, grateful for the chance to get a hold of his temper. He still didn’t feel much better, however, and when he went back to the salle, he couldn’t focus on the routine. It was getting harder and harder to believe he would return in time for Chipotle’s audition. He missed his friends, his woman, even his keyboard.
He tripped over a combination he’d had perfect before. He stopped, panting, resisting the urge to shout in frustration. As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, a small case caught his eye, and he went to it.
It held daggers of varying lengths. He stood, building his nerve, then grabbed one and headed back to the bench, where he spent the next hour etching out a keyboard onto its surface. When it was done, he ran his fingers over it. The grooves were rough, the proportions not quite right, and he had to hollow out the black keys, but it was close enough. He’d have to rely on his imagination for the rest.
Something soft and heavy fell on his head, and he blinked as the pillow tumbled onto his lap. He looked up in time to catch the second one that fell from Cochise’s claws. “Thanks, buddy! It won’t sound nearly as good, but I’ll sing the notes for you while I play, okay?” He arranged the pillows into a comfortable seat while Cochise settled where he could watch Joshua’s hands, and Joshua hummed the scales for him as his fingers moved over the makeshift keyboard.
He’d progressed beyond scales and was describing more complex fingerings to the everyn when a warrior ran into the room. Both man and everyn looked up in surprise. Joshua recognized her as the woman who’d had her leg healed the day he’d met Terry. Her eyes followed his arms down to the vandalized bench.
“Oh! Uh, I was…” He clamped his lips shut. He had no idea how to explain to her that he’d needed to play a piano, and any reasonable substitute would do; besides, a stubborn part of him said, it was none of her business, anyway. “Something I can help you with?” He asked instead. “Can you understand me? Or have you been sent to fetch me to some appointment no one told me about?”
She paused, her head tilted as if listening. “I understand some.” She finally answered. “Walls help.”
“Really?” So the walls have ears, too? Funny how no one’s mentioned that. Wonder if Deryl knows?
The warrior was haltingly saying something about Deryl. “Pardon?”
“The Miscria wants you, now,” She repeated. “The Ydrel has done something—” She paused, and Joshua got the impression she was asking someone—maybe even the walls—for the right word. “Something bizzaro,” She concluded.
*
An hour later, Joshua found Deryl sulking under the same tree where yesterday they’d been laughing and sharing songs. The young man’s back was to him, and he had his legs bent with his arms tight around them, but at least he wasn’t rocking.
That’s something, anyway. Joshua got off Glory, and kissed her nose. After all she’d been through today, she still brought him here. She bumped against him affectionately, then wandered off to graze. He walked the rest of the way to the tree and sat down beside his friend.
“She send you?” Deryl asked.
“Uh huh.”
Deryl didn’t answer, just reached out and picked a daisy-like flower. He began to pull of the petals, one by one.
She loves me, she loves me not? Joshua thought. There were other mangled flowers around him. He sat next to his friend, and plucked at the grass.
“She tell you?” He asked after a minute.
“She showed me.” The warrior had taken Joshua to the spot where they had apparently been watching the battle. There, he’d found Tasmae waiting for him in the middle of what Joshua could only think of as “aftermath.” To one side, healers worked on several injured warriors. Two supported Glory in a standing position while they worked. He could feel a symphony of healing energy. Salgoud sat leaning against a large tree, a healer beside him with her hands hovering over his head. Concussion, Joshua had thought, though he didn’t know how he’d known that.
A sword was buried six inches into the tree. A good distance away in several directions, swords were stuck in the ground to the hilt. Near the cliffs, arrows fanned out in a half circle, pointing in multiple directions. Tasmae looked a lot like she had the first time he’d seen her—wisps of hair coming out of a tight braid, clothes dirty and torn, and sweat and dirt on her face. Then, she had been grim and confused; this time, she was seriously pissed.
“What is he hiding from me?” Was all she had asked.
“So, you want to tell me about it?” Joshua asked Deryl.
“She tricked me!” Deryl exclaimed, tossing the flower away as if it had dared to disagree with him. “We were up on the mesa, watching. Things were getting pretty serious; I mean, I could feel it, it was—I was leaning close to the edge, trying to see how the archers were faring, when Tasmae shouted. I turned around and there were three soldiers after her, and she’s wailing away, but there were so many and others were coming. I, I thought they’d gone crazy! I thought they were Barin! I yelled at them to stop, but they didn’t, and—What was I supposed to do? I just wanted them to get away from her!
“Next thing I know, they’re scattered everywhere, and there’s a unicorn on its side and it’s screaming and, and Tasmae—She just looks at me. No ‘Thanks for saving me,’ no ‘My God, what did you do?’ She teleps for me to teach her. I trashed the meadow, threw her people like rag dolls, and she wanted me to teach her!
“She tricked me!” He repeated. “I can’t believe I trusted her, thought she wanted me for me. She planned this whole thing, put herself in the middle so I’d fight!”
“Wanted me for me”? Oh, great. “Salgoud planned the attack on the two of you,” Joshua cut across Deryl’s rant. “He’d had it planned for a day. He told me when I was at the meadow.”
“Great! So he’s also trying to—”
“Come off it, Deryl!” Joshua’s patience snapped. “Not everything revolves around you and your precious psychic abilities. Tasmae’s a warrior, right?”
“She’s the Miscria.”
“She’s both, and didn’t the enemy try to kill her in the last war? Isn’t she a prime target?” Joshua demanded, eying Deryl expectantly.
Deryl met his gaze, but dropped his eyes as he thought it through. “Salgoud sent some folks to surprise attack her to keep her on her toes. But she didn’t even try to tell me what was going on, just let me jump to conclusions!”
“It was an exercise, Deryl.”
“Those swords were real!”
Joshua rolled his eyes and threw up his hands. “She’s in armor. So are you, for that matter.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Yours, believe it or not! I agree, the whole set-up was whacked, okay? I just want you to think things through. Consider it from her side. All she wants is to protect her people, and if that means better fighting, so be it. I don’t really think she enjoys killing, do you? Okay, then. So here’s the Great Ydrel, font of all knowledge military, yet he won’t take her seriously when he’s sparring with her—her point of view, not yours—then when they get attacked, he lets loose with these amazing telekinetics he’s never told her about, and people go flying, swords embed themselves in trees and in the ground, arrows bounce off him like rubber balls—”
“What arrows?”
“You kidding? When you went postal, they tried to shoot you. The arrows ricocheted. You had some heavy-duty shields up.”
“I didn’t know. I wasn’t thinking, I just—” He put his arms around himself, shivering. “Did I hurt anyone?” He asked in a small voice.
No use denying it. “They’re all going to be fine. The unicorn—Glory—even brought me here. Tasmae said they’d seen worse.”
“But we were so near the cliff. I didn’t, well, toss anyone…?”
“Yeah, you did,” Joshua told him gently. “But you also apparently stopped her before she hit the ground. She was more scared than anything. Still, you might expect folks to look at you a little differently after word gets around. That was some pretty powerful defense,” he added with a smile, but Deryl did not answer, just focused on the horizon with haunted eyes.
“There’s so much more power on this planet,” he finally said. “It’s like having a feast whereas before I was surviving on crusts of bread and thimbles of water. I don’t know why I felt like it was a real attack, I just did, and I drew on that power and reacted. Afterwards, it was like I woke up from a nightmare, and I saw all the wreckage and knew I’d done it. Then she demanded I teach her how!”
“So you need to work on your control,” Joshua concluded.
“Control?” Deryl blanched. “You can’t be suggesting I actually do that again?”
“Trash the place? Fling people around? No. But you’ve got to admit, being able to deflect arrows is pretty cool stuff.” He grinned and shrugged, inviting him to see the brighter side.
“Oh. Well, yeah, I guess…”
“And as for repelling things, imagine if you flung their supplies into the next county? Or redirected their ships to where you wanted them to land? I don’t know—do you have enough power to just send their ships back to Barin? There’s a lot you could do without ever hurting anyone. You just need to use your imagination.”
“We could end this war,” Deryl whispered. He turned pleading eyes on Joshua. “Help us?”
Joshua sighed in exasperation. “What do you think I’m trying to do?”
“No, I mean help us—help me—stop this war.” He shifted position so he was on his knees, sitting on his heels and facing him. “There’re still a few months before the war—if we practice and work together—”
“Months? I don’t think so!”
“I don’t understand,” Deryl stammered.
Joshua found himself gaping. He closed his mouth, gritted his teeth, and forced himself to speak slowly and clearly. “Listen, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be here when a war starts. Frankly, I don’t want to be here today. I will help you and Tasmae figure this out. I’ll give you what ideas I can. But not for months. No way. I am not a military advisor. I didn’t want to come here. I don’t belong here. I belong on Earth—with Sachiko, and my parents, and my own ambitions of making it as a musician. I want to go home—the sooner the better.”
“I told you I’d get you home before the audition.”
Again, he forced himself to keep a level voice. “How? Have you even thought about it? How to get us home, not what you plan to do afterwards or where you’ll drop me off or whatever—how?”
Deryl blinked. “I will, I promise.”
“So you haven’t.” His nightmares returned to make a tight knot in his stomach. Joshua stood up and whistled. Glory picked up her head and came to him. He mounted. “Tell you what. You want my help? Fine. I’ll brainstorm. But I’m not telling you anything until you tell me—no, you show me—that you can get me home.” He started to ask Glory to go, then thought better of it. “Want a ride back?” He asked, just managing to keep the grudging tone out of his voice.
Deryl hesitated, then nodded and stood. Joshua gave him a hand to help pull him onto Glory’s back. They rode in silence to the field where the unicorns hung out, but when they got there and dismounted, Deryl caught Joshua by the shoulder.
“I’ll talk to Tasmae about getting you home. Today, I promise. Even if there still are storms, like she said, every storm has lulls. Maybe she can predict them. I’ll get you home. And you don’t have to give me anything in return.”
Joshua smiled. “What, and give up the chance to save the world?” He replied lightly. “I may not be in the superhero suit, but that doesn’t mean I won’t help if I can.” Then, Deryl’s words caught up to his brain. “You’re not planning on staying on Earth once you get me back, are you?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I’m not sure I could. I’m a fugitive.”
“You can teleport, and the world’s a big place. You could find somewhere.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“Or, you could stay, and we could work it out. I’d vouch for you, and if you could return us within a few minutes of when we’d left, what are they going to do? For that matter, how’s Malachai going to explain your kidnapping me right from under his nose? Especially if Sachiko and I are on your side? I’d talk to your aunt and uncle. My dad has a lot of contacts on the East coast—we’d find you a better psychiatrist until you can convince them you don’t need help anymore. Then, go to college. Find Clarissa and hook up with her. Have a life. That is, if you want a life on Earth.”
A laugh escaped his throat. “Oh, man, do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You’ve got to be the only person who’s ever really had a choice between two worlds.”
Deryl kicked at the rocks in the worn path. “Problem is, I don’t know if I’m welcome on either one. Not unless I’m ready to do their bidding.”
“Oh, come off it, Deryl. Everybody has to do the bidding of somebody, and it isn’t always fun. You think I enjoy getting up at 6:30 every morning to do Malachai’s bidding for twelve hours a day? Case studies, and sitting in on group therapies, and being told to keep my mouth shut ‘cause I’m just a lowly intern—”
“Playing best friend to a sulky client?”
“Exactly!” He moved his hand in a seemingly casual wave. In fact, it was a feel-good anchor he’d established with Deryl when he’d first started working with him, a kind of subtle motion-based mnemonic to instill hopeful, positive feelings. He’d been slipping thanks to the stress of the past couple of days and hadn’t thought to use it lately, but it worked nonetheless. Josh smiled, and the former “sulky client” Smiled back. “The point is, I’m willing to do it, because it’s getting me things I want: money for tuition next year, work experience, and I’m learning a lot, too.”
Deryl grinned at his friend. “You didn’t always do what Malachai wanted.”
“And I got called on the carpet for it, too. Even by Edith.”
“That was Malachai’s doing,” Deryl told him.
Joshua grunted doubtfully. “I don’t think he told her to threaten to personally send me back to Colorado and get me a job at Carl’s Jr. for the rest of the summer.”
“No way!”
“Way. I was this far from using my psychiatric skills to convince people to biggie size their order. At any rate, what I’m trying to say is that no matter where you go or what you do, there’s got to be some give-and-take. Still, if you’re not comfortable with what Taz and her people want with you, you have a choice: go back to Earth, or stay here and forge a new role for the Ydrel.”
“You’re right, Joshua. Thanks.” Deryl turned off the trail.
“Hey, where you going?”
“Tasmae’s this way. May as well do this now. I’ll see you later.”
*
Deryl headed to a small grove not far from the paddocks. The trees stood tall and heavy with leaves, though no fruit. In places, he had to twist sideways to make his way between them, but suddenly, the trees opened up to a small clearing. They encircled an area of thick moss about twenty feet in diameter, but the branches intertwined above so that very little sunlight came though, giving the area a dappled, twilight effect not too different from that of the bathing grotto.
Deryl smiled as he recognized it. It looked much like the clearing Tasmae had imagined for him the first time he’d actually spoken to her in the Netherworld, and when later, she had “changed” the location so that they could see the sky, she had kept the same springy moss that grew with almost mattress-like thickness.
Tasmae was barefoot in the middle of the mossy clearing now, her sword in her hand, moving through a form that mixed the techniques he’d taught her people with moves they’d developed over centuries of fighting. He lingered by the forest edge, watching and admiring her grace and strength. She moved with lethal precision. Her face was grim as she concentrated.
This is life and death for her, and I treated it as a game. I know she’s a warrior. Maybe it’s time I accept it.
Sighing, he reached out with his mind and took hold of her sword.
She jerked slightly as it froze in midair, resisting her motion. She gave it one experimental tug before releasing it, letting it hang in the air, and turned toward him. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited. He watched her from where he stood against the tree. Silence, both psychic and verbal, stretched.
Then they teleped, both at the same time, waves of reassurance and understanding washing over them both. He hadn’t been holding out on her; she knew. She hadn’t tricked him; he knew. Both were sorry. Remorse, then relief, then affection, and Deryl closed the gap between them and pulled her into his arms. As he kissed her, he knew he didn’t want to leave. He had to find a way to make this work. Then, there was only her, and their kiss.
He lost his concentration on the sword. It fell with a dull thump, drawing them back to reality. Tasmae chuckled.
“Perhaps we should talk instead,” Deryl said, pulling back without leaving her embrace. He felt a little dizzy, pleasantly so, but he’d promised Joshua…
“Will you teach me?” She asked.
He was too aware of her arms around him. “I’ll try. I don’t really know how I do it. Malachai—” Had he ever mentioned Dr. Malachai to her? “I mean, I tried for years, but I just sort of got it in the past few weeks. I’d want something; it’d come to me. I don’t think I can explain it.”
She turned her face from his, thinking. Her hair brushed against his lips. He fought the urge to bury his face in it. He tried not to breathe in her scent.
“Try something,” She suggested. “Let me in your mind, then try something.”
“In my mind?” Why did that thought make his heart race with such fear and desire?
“Like when I Call you,” She said, leaning back to look into his eyes. “Move something. I’ll draw out how you did it.”
He touched her hair, and he remembered how jealous he’d felt about Joshua brushing it. Without really thinking, he used his mind to pull her punch dagger hairpiece from her bun. As her hair fell about her shoulders, he gathered it, separated it into three sections and braided it. All the time, he felt her Call, but this time teasing rather than forcing the information from him. The sensation echoed across his skin.
Nonetheless, she shook her head. “You’re right: You want something to happen and it happens. But I don’t understand how.”
“I’m sorry.” But he wasn’t sure that he was. If she couldn’t figure out how his telekinetic skills worked, he wouldn’t have to teach them. He’d never have to worry about their forcing him to teach them to use the ability offensively.
“You’ve shielded yourself from me.”
“Those shields are keeping us both safe.”
Images flashed into his mind: civilians forcing back attackers with the strength of their will; children flinging objects to impede a Barin’s pursuit or to construct a safe hiding place. Healers working in safety in the middle of a battle as another created a shield that deflected incoming arrows. He realized how much he’d underestimated her imagination.
Let me join your mind. Then I will know as you know.
The thought tempted and terrified. If he gave in, he wouldn’t hold back. She’d know everything. His nightmares. His fear of the Master. His insanities. Even now, voices from the past pulled at him, and he didn’t know why. He could ignore them, mostly, but if he gave in to her, let her into his thoughts…
He shook his head. She could never know as he did. “I can’t. We can’t.”
He looked at her, saw the light of Barin reflected in her eyes. Her desires pushed at his shields.
She had to have time to teach the world. If she could teach her people in time, no one had to die.
His mind flickered on Joshua’s idea. They could force the ships back even before reaching Kanaan.
The power of her need pressed upon him.
“I need you,” She whispered. “We need you.”
To be needed by an entire world…
A flaw appeared in his shields, became a buckle, then a tear. It was small, but enough. Her psyche flowed through like water and filled his consciousness. He gasped with pleasure.
It felt like a caress upon his soul when she directed him to lift the sword, and he moved to kiss her as he started to obey.
A cacophony of voices exploded in his mind.