“Deryl!” Swearing under his breath, Joshua tore off after his friend.
Even running, Joshua could barely keep up with him. Deryl would have bowled over anyone in his way, leaving Joshua to trip over their bodies. Joshua followed blindly, though he had a vague sense that they raced upward and into the mountain itself.
“Deryl, wait up!”
He rounded a corner in time to see his friend stagger against a wall, groaning and grabbing his head. Joshua caught up to him, and Deryl clutched at him for support. His irises were a sea of blue. He didn’t know pupils could contract so tightly.
“Deryl!” He poured all the command into his voice he could. “Shields!”
“Taz,” he gasped. “Help her. Please.” He managed to point to the single door on the left before his knees gave out and he curled up on the floor. A muffled shriek escaped his lips.
It was echoed by a louder shriek from within the room.
Joshua cast a look at his shaking friend. The best way to help Deryl is to help her, he decided as he left him and headed to the room.
His training with his father at the Colorado State Mental Health Institute made him pause with the doorway open only a crack and assess the situation. The bare, dome-shaped room held no objects but a simple mat and a flower pot. The Remembrance? The pot was cast upon its side, dirt spilling, as if dropped. Leinad and a healer he’d seen earlier were in the room, sitting and watching Tasmae, who, like Deryl, lay curled up in agony. Why didn’t they do something?
She was half-lying, half-sitting against the wall, not far from the discarded plant. Her clothes were wrinkled and twisted, her hair wild and standing up oddly as if she had been trying to tear it out by the roots. In fact, she did have one hand gripping her forelocks tightly, as he’d seen Deryl do many times. She writhed slightly, sobbing and babbling in several languages. Joshua heard English, Spanish and something oriental, not Japanese. He caught some of the words: in English, things like danger and someone being after her, spiders; in Spanish, feeling worthless, no one understanding.
It didn’t make sense. Joshua knew Deryl didn’t speak Spanish, and didn’t think he knew any other language either. Besides, he’d never heard Deryl say anything about arachnophobia. And the Spanish thoughts weren’t his own, that was certain. LaTisha’s abortion and their subsequent break-up may have left him depressed, but he’d never felt worthless and he always knew his parents would understand, if he’d just get past his shame to tell them about it.
Okay, he pulled himself away from those dark thoughts, so she’s not getting this from me or from Deryl, not directly, anyway. What is it? She’s acting like she’s got multiple personalities—all of them bad. And what’s with those two? Leinad and the healer looked worried, as far as he could tell, yet not inclined to do anything.
Tasmae switched back to English, but to another mood and a new delusion. Then, she buried her face in her hands, hissing and gasping with effort. Down the hall, he could hear Deryl chanting, “PleaseStopPleaseStopPleaseStop—”
He was on his own. Joshua glanced once more at his friend, took a deep breath and stepped through the doorway. “Tasmae?” He called gently. “Taz, can you hear me?”
She looked up at him, slowly, though narrowed eyes. Her voice rasped. “Human.”
Leinad and the healer gave a start, and Leinad stepped toward him, but at Tasmae’s venomous hiss, he returned back to his spot at the far side of the room with a shrug. Joshua didn’t need psychic powers to know he was saying that Josh should not have interfered, but now he was on his own.
“Human.” Tasmae didn’t so much rise as uncoil and stalked her way to him, her shoulders hunched and her eyes hooded. Even without weapons or her lethal hairpiece, Joshua had no doubt she could do him serious damage. He stepped back.
She continued to close on him, stealthy, predatory, herding him away from the door. “You did this,” She snarled.
“What do you think I did, Tasmae?” Joshua asked, keeping his voice as calm as he could despite the fact that he was quivering inside. He found himself desperately wishing for a couple of big orderlies—Sachiko, even—a straitjacket, and some Haldol. Or maybe an animal tranquilizer. Why don’t Leinad and the healer do something?
“Tasmae, I’m willing to listen, so why don’t you just tell me what—”
“Shut up! Don’t play stupid with me. I know what you planned to do. Human!” She spat the word. Even though she stood only inches away from him, her eyes were so dark that even if he knew the process of her thinking, he could not have seen it. He didn’t have enough information, and he knew with all his being that any wrong move would get him killed.
He used his only tool, his words. “Tasmae. I’m your friend. I know right now, you’ve got a lot of confusing tho—ungh!”
She hit him. Hard.
As he folded over, she caught him in the throat with her forearm and pinned him against the wall. She was tall enough that she could glare into his eyes with only a slight tilt of her head. “You thought I wouldn’t find out? You thought bringing the Ydrel here would make me trust you? That you could sing your pretty songs and make me forget my duty to my people? To the Remembrance?” She gave a maniacal laugh. “I know now. The Barins are a minor threat compared to humans! Humans, with their wild emotions and too many thoughts. Too many riddles. Riddles within riddles, thoughts within thoughts, feelings-within-feelings-within—” She shook her head, and when she looked up her eyes were shiny with tears. “You are contagion!”
She shoved her arm against his throat, and Joshua gagged. He clutched at her forearm, but he didn’t know how to break her hold. He couldn’t get a breath to answer her, couldn’t get a breath. Light and dark flashes dazzled his eyes.
*
“Taz, stop!” Deryl shouted from the doorway as he staggered into the room. He fought to hold himself together until he could draw her away from his friend. “Tasmae, please! It’s not Joshua’s fault.”
“Deryl.” As Tasmae turned to him her demeanor changed. First, it softened; gently, almost distractedly, she released Joshua. He collapsed onto hands and knees, taking in great gulps of air.
“Ydrel,” She spoke again, and this time, her voice was low and seductive and she sauntered her way to him. He blinked in confusion.
“Taz, don’t,” Deryl whispered, but she didn’t seem to hear him. Did she even see him? His eyes flicked to Joshua, but he was still on one knee, a hand braced against the ground, fighting for breath and consciousness. Leinad and the healer watched, though his muddled mind couldn’t tell if they were fascinated or horrified.
“Ydrel mentor, Ydrel guide,” She breathed as she moved in close, too close. He backed up until he was against a wall, a mere foot away from the plant, which seemed to turn its blossoms toward them like a plant turns toward the sun. He tensed and trembled as she leaned into him, her face barely an inch from his. He could feel her mind flowing against his shields, and he knew if she got through, they were both lost.
“Please, Tasmae, don’t.”
“Shhh,” She breathed into his ear. “I understand now, I do. You tried to warn us. You showed Gardianju the humans. The dangers. She didn’t understand. But I understand. No one will hurt you now.”
Her hair was in his face and he could feel its softness, breathe in its scent. It made him dizzy; he couldn’t think. Dimly, he heard Joshua gasp at Leinad to do something.
Tasmae was placing feather-light kisses on his ear and neck. Warm shivers moved over his body. The smell of her hair—
It’s just pheromones, he thought wildly, but it didn’t help. Her body was too close. Her mind was too close. His shields sang.
He would give himself to her. Give himself to the insanities. And for a moment, it would be so sweet. He whimpered, but he didn’t know if it was fear or need.
“It’s all right,” She breathed. “We’ll protect you.”
“We?” He squeaked. Run! Hide! part of him screamed. “Josh!”
*
Joshua looked up, saw his friend was in trouble and forced himself to act.
“Tasmae!” He stood and faced her, ready to run if necessary. “Stop it, now! The only one hurting Deryl is you.”
“Shut up!” Tasmae whirled away from Deryl, who sagged against the wall and started to rock, his arms wrapped around his waist.
“Deryl, snap out of it! I need your help!” Joshua called.
“Stay away from him!” Tasmae snarled as she advanced. Joshua retreated, but she didn’t pursue. Instead, she stepped back toward Deryl, protecting him like an animal protects its young.
Work with that, Joshua’s training told him. He held up empty hands. “I want to help Deryl, too. He’s my friend—”
“Liar! You don’t think I know the things you humans have done to him? Would do to us? Gardianju didn’t understand. The other Miscrias didn’t understand. But I do. Human riddles within riddles—I am the Queen of Riddles. I am the Mistress of Riddles!” She threw her arms over her head and spun. Her foot bumped the plant. She stopped, looked at it and laughed, breathy and excited. She knelt beside it, cradling the blossoms and cooing.
Joshua took the moment of her distraction and moved quickly but quietly to Deryl’s side. Still keeping an eye on Tasmae, he gripped his shoulder, willing him silently to focus.
Slowly, Deryl stopped rocking, though he continued to shudder as if feverish. With effort, he turned his face toward first Joshua, then Tasmae.
“It’s all here,” Tasmae sing-songed in one language, then another. The blossoms opened further. “The Barins are not the real threat. Humans. They get in your mind, overwhelm your thoughts. Humans. Contagion. Gardianju didn’t know, but I know. Mistress of Riddles, I know. The Remembrance tells me all.” And she plunged her face into the fullest bloom.
Deryl screamed, “Taz, no!”
The plant fell as her hands flew to her head, nails pressing into her skin. She collapsed and lay on her side, curled in agony.
“Get them out!” She screamed, suddenly sounding like herself. “Make them go away! Deryl, please! Help me. Someone! Please!”
No one moved. Leinad and the healer continued their silent vigil. Deryl reached out, but he touched the flower and moaned. Even Joshua found himself frozen, his mind blank.
Then her sob turned to a hiss then a shriek of rage. “Their fault! The humans did this. We have to drive them out. We have to kill them!” She lunged toward Joshua, her hands outstretched.
“Miscria! STOP!”
At Deryl’s shout, she froze. Joshua watched her struggle against invisible bonds. She turned her eyes and snarl at Deryl, and Joshua followed her glare.
He swayed, obviously fighting several battles to keep his focus on stilling her. He held the Remembrance in a shaky grip. His spoke haltingly through clenched teeth, but his voice was strong and commanding. “Miscria. You don’t…understand. You…don’t…know…everything.”
“I am the Queen of Riddles!”
“I am the Ydrel. Ydrel…Mentor...”
“Ydrel Guide.” Her face softened into confusion.
He took a slow, agonizing step toward her, then another. “None of the Miscrias understood.” He gasped, winced against whatever attack he felt, then continued. “They couldn’t. I wasn’t there to guide them.” He reached out to her with a hand that shook like an aspen branch.
Freed from his telekinetic bonds, she took it.
Deryl convulsed slightly. “Can’t run. Can’t hide.” Several times, his body jerked as if trying to rock. Sweat beaded his face. Still, he held Tasmae’s gaze.
He’s not going to last much longer. Please God, help him. Lend him your strength, Joshua prayed.
“The only way out…is through,” Deryl gasped. “Let me…guide…you through.”
Now she was twitching and trembling as hard as Deryl. Nonetheless, she nodded. She stepped toward him and again lowered her face into one of the blossoms.
With an inhale that was half sob, Deryl plunged his face down next to hers.
This time, there were no screams. The two crumbled lifelessly to the ground.
“Deryl!” Joshua ran to his friend. “Oh, please don’t be dead. Oh, God, please don’t let him be dead!” Anxiously, he felt for a pulse. It was too light and too slow, but steady. “Oh, God, thank you. Thank you.”
At last the healer moved, but she only did as cursory a check on Tasmae as Joshua had on Deryl. Then she set the plant upright between them. Both Deryl’s and Tasmae’s hands remained on the fronds as if attached, their other hands still clasped together.
The healer stepped back and sat down again beside Leinad.
“That’s it?” Joshua raged. He stormed over to the two and flung his arm toward the unconscious pair. “That’s all you’re going to do? Dammit, answer me! What’s going on? What do we do now?”
Leinad regarded him with barely controlled anger, but his words were emotionless. “We wait.”
“Wait? I don’t think so! It may be perfectly normal for your people to freak out then go catatonic, but it’s not for mine, and if you won’t help them, I will!” He spun back toward Deryl and Tasmae.
Two warriors with crossed swords blocked his path. He’d never seen them enter the room. Where were they when Tasmae was all but breaking his windpipe?
He closed his eyes, as if in pain. “Tell me this isn’t happening.”
“Joshua!” Terry rushed into the room, breathless. He gave Deryl and Tasmae the merest glance, then grabbed Joshua’s arm and pulled. “Come with me, Joshua. Let’s go to your room. I’ll explain everything.”
Joshua gaped at him. “Explain? In my room? Deryl and Tasmae are, are comatose and these two won’t do anything, and you want me go to my room?”
The warriors stepped forward.
Terry pulled on his arm. “¡Por favor, Joshua!”
He couldn’t much help Deryl if incapacitated (or decapitated), and he had no doubt that the warriors would not have hesitated to do one or the other if he continued to resist. He marched between them in silence, saving his fury until he and Terry were alone in his room. Then, he related in detail what had happened, particularly the seemingly uncaring behavior of Leinad and the other healer.
“They didn’t do anything, not even for Tasmae! They just sat there like it was some kind of, of show! What is up with that?” Joshua stopped his pacing to glare at Terry.
The Kanaan healer nodded sympathetically. “It is not something you or I could do. We are men of action. One who works with the Remembrances must have infinite patience. What’s done is done. All we can do is pray and wait.”
“How long?”
“Most Miscria have been weeks in the experience.”
“Weeks?” Joshua’s voice cracked.
Terry shrugged. “It may be less. It is unusual that the Remembrance, especially that one, should call upon the Miscria in this time. It has an intelligence; it knows the danger our world is in. Perhaps, too, it will be quicker since the Ydrel shares the experience with her.”
“Or maybe not. He’s not Kanaan. And the way they just…fell over. It was spooky. What if they can’t get through it? Could they die?”
“The Remembrance healer will not let Tasmae die.”
“What about Deryl?” Terry didn’t answer. “Terry, what about Deryl? He’s my friend and, and if he dies, how do I get home?” Joshua felt like a heel for thinking that now, but he couldn’t help it. He had to get home!
Suddenly, homesickness gripped Joshua so tightly, he couldn’t see; he almost couldn’t breathe. His neck throbbed from Tasmae’s choking, and his head with it. He felt Terry’s touch on his shoulder, sending healing warmth through him. His pain eased, though his misery remained a tight knot in his stomach. He sank onto the bed and looked at the floor.
“Am I a prisoner again?” He jerked his head toward where the warriors had posted themselves outside his door.
“Leinad will not let you interfere. No one has done what Deryl has, and he is afraid of what else may happen.”
“So they are in danger.” He closed his eyes.
“Trust, Joshua. God brought you here, to this place and this time, for a purpose. Now, here.” He pressed a cup of something warm and fragrant into Joshua’s hands. Joshua looked up just in time to see someone leave his room as silently as he’d entered.
“What’s this?” He asked suspiciously.
“It will help you sleep. Make the waiting easier. Drink it all.”
Joshua started to protest that he had an alien physiology and strong reactions to medications, anyway, but a moment later decided that at this point he didn’t much care. He gulped the liquid down too quickly to taste and handed back the glass to Terry as a tingly warmth spread over his body. Almost immediately, he felt his muscles relax and his head get woozy. “Whoa!”
Terry chuckled as he helped him lie down. “Now, you sleep.”
Joshua only half heard the words. Already, his pains had faded and his eyelids drooped. Idly, he wondered if Haldol felt like this, and if the potion would have an amnesiac effect. He didn’t want to forget…
He must have spoken his thought, for Terry said gently, “You won’t forget anything, Joshua. And I’ll stay to watch over you awhile.”
“Like a guardian angel,” Joshua murmured, his speech slurred and his eyes half shut. A thought struck him and he opened them to look at Terry. “Hey, guardian angel. Do you think?”
“What?” Terry tucked the covers around him.
His thought fluttered away on angel’s wings. The bed felt so wonderfully comfortable.
“Hmmm? Terry, will I dream?”
“No, Joshua, not this time.”
“Good,” he slurred as darkness took him. “Because I can’t bear to lose Sachiko, not even in a dream.”
*
For Deryl, there were no dreams, either. Only nightmares.
In the waking world, his body lay frozen, his mind shorted out, overloaded by the pandemonium of images assailing his mind. In the world of the Remembrance, he struggled and thrashed and could not stop screaming.
He felt himself being torn apart from the inside. Fire blazed across his back and legs. His blood pooled, threatening to burst his veins and his skin. He tumbled helplessly through a hurricane of pain, in too much torment to notice his fall until he smacked hard against something like water or quicksand—and like water or quicksand, it pulled him under.
Mental anguish replaced the physical torture as the “sea” morphed into a mass of lost psyches. They bumped and swirled against him, tried to press themselves upon him, into him. Snatches of memories, most of them painful, flooded his mind. They pulled him down. He fought them psychically as he fought physically to reach the surface. He’d rather face the agony of the surface than the insanity of the sea.
He was losing. Thoughts tangled around him, too many, too strong. He was going to die there, drowning in a strange sea that was half psyche, buried by the painful experiences of others. His thrashing grew more violent, but he knew he couldn’t fight them.
Then stop fighting, a memory of Joshua called faintly. Defense! Get your shields in close and strong!
Desperately, Deryl tried to imagine his ragged shields pulling in, knitting themselves close and tight, strong as armor. The psyches faded only slightly, but it was enough. The sea became water again.
He broke the surface, gasping and trembling, tread water, and forced his mind to think coherently as he sought his bearings.
The world reflected the turmoil he felt. Above, the sky glowed red shot through with black. Cruel-looking blue lightning arched from cloud to cloud, though he could not hear the thunder over the blaring wind. The sea churned about him, and the rain fell in cold sheets. Two large stars fought to shine through the darkness, yet oddly, the planet between them flared, clearly visible. Barin.
A wave forced water into his mouth and nose. He sputtered, felt the world gray. Pain wracked him.
Where was Tasmae? What was this—a kind of memory? Could Gardianju have really experienced this? No wonder Tasmae—
“Tasmae!” He called, his words immediately ripped away by the wind. His telepathic call fared better; he could almost feel the psyches below him pounce upon it like sharks feeding. Buffeted among them was a dark shape, nearly a psychic null point.
“Taz!” All his fear and pain suddenly vanished in the need to get to her, and he plunged in again to pull her from the depths.
The depths were not so eager to release her, and they had had longer to ensnare her. Tendrils of thought, like seaweed, clung to her body, but unlike seaweed, these thoughts had weight and a kind of intelligence. They dragged her down and him with them. No matter how he struggled, he could not pull her to the surface.
Even if he could, what then? They were trapped. There was no way out of Gardianju’s memories.
No way out but through.
Swallowing his fear, he stopped struggling and allowed himself to be pulled down, and as he did, the memories of Gardianju the Miscria insinuated themselves into him until he could no longer tell the difference between her, Tasmae, or himself.