Wesley, Paul
JOURNAL ENTRY 03
Mild mental retardation
IQ: 68

Belial says I shud rite more. I want to make him glad he let me stay here but its reel hard for me to rite for long in my jurnul. I try reel hard to rite down what I think but it take me a reel long time to rite in my jurnul. Im not afrade of some hard work but I dont have much smarts thats why I have to stay at the asistid living center but then I moved here to the T.O.G.

When I first get here they have some of my frends from the asistid living center here to. There is a man name Jude who helps Belial. I told Belial I dont meen to be a tadel tale but that jude sure is reel meen sumtimes. Sumtimes Belial says he has to help me with things and jude get reel mad and cuss at me and call me retard. I can take all that cause that hapins my hole life but what reely steems me is when he is meen to Oscar cause Oscar did not do anything to him and he calls him a smelly rat and says he shud set a rat trap to get Oscar. Thats what reely hurts my feelings cause Oscar has never been meen or bite anybody he is always reel nice and everyone always says he is the sweetest ferret they ever see.

Oscar get old now. One lady at the asistid living center say ferrets live to be 8 yeers old and Oscar is 6 yeers old but he still act the same as ever. I dont know what I would do if I lost Oscar. He been my best friend for 6 yeers best friend I ever had in my hole life.

He sleep on my pillow every nite and when he get reel happy he jump around and I run so he can chase me cause he really likes to chase me. He run and play and jump like a slinky and he jump on my feet but he never bites nobody. Oscar is too nice to do that.

I remember we seen Belial on TV after he got shot in the hed and wake back up. after that everyone always talk about Belial and he on TV all the time. then we see him on TV talking again and he said he turned a jail in Hollywood into a place where anyone who wants can come stay with him and he will giv them a better happy life to lern from him like a techer. when I first herd that I wanted to go to the T.O.G. but they told me that was not going to happin because I was under state care and had no parents anymore and I needed to stay there at the asistid living center. but then they say the president made new rules and say its braking the law to keep anyone from going to stay with Belial if they want to go there. the president say anyone not a miner has the choice to go even if they retarded like me and that the T.O.G. wood fill up fast and then there wood be a wating list. I reely did not want to have to wate on a list so as soon as I found out I used my piggy bank to take a bus to Hollywood.

Oscar rides in my back pack. he has been doing that ever sens he was a littel baby and he rides in there reel good. he is a good boy and I get off the bus rite in front of the T.O.G. and inside I see a reel perty lady with brown hairs and she ask me if im crazy or retarded and I get real embaresed to anser that. the perty lady say it dont matter cause shes crazy and dont take her pills no more. I ask her why she dont take her pills and she say they were poison and kill her and now shes better. I get scared someone mite make Oscar or me take her poison medicine and I think maybe I should go back to the asistid living center but then Belial comes out and at first that makes me scared to cause I never seen a dinosor in reel life but they say he is a ziz now and I only seen Belial on TV but then he smiles reel big at me and talks reel nice and says this is my new home and I am welcom there and so is Oscar and he can help me to be smart and even have a job. I used to mop up at the asistid living center so I tell Belial and ask if maybe I would have a job like that and he says no I will have a job I deserve because Im special and dont need to mop no floor. No one ever say anything like that to me and it makes me feel reel nice and I tell Oscar we did the rite thing to come here cause me and him could be reel happy in this place.

They give me a reel nice room next to a man name John who only gos in his room to sleep and sumtimes I can heer him cry in there and other than that he helps Belial and that meen old Jude. Sumtimes when we eat our food in the big lunch room Jude comes up to me and takes a big bite of my lunch then spits it on my plate and says here I help you chew retard and that makes me feel reel bad. I dont tell Belial all those things cause they are frends and Jude helps Belial so I don't want to hurt his feelings about his frend. I sure am glad I came here when I did cause after I get here it starts to get reely full of peepel and not just peepel like me but rich and famos peepel to. most everybody is reel nice to me and they all love Oscar and want to hold him and say man he sure is nice I thot ferrets smell bad and I say no he smell reel good to me and then some say I thot they just sat in a cage and bite you. I say no Oscar never stays in a cage he goes where I go and sleeps on my pillow his hole life and they say man Paul he sure is lucky to have a frend like you and I say nope Im the lucky one cause Oscar been my best frend in the hole world.

Every day I talk to some nice peepel and eat sum good food in the lunch room and we go to rooms for sumthing calld small groops where some ziz like Belial teech us abowt the world and how we can make it better to. My small groop has sum peepel like me not too smart but they are all reel nice and love Oscar. A ziz name Buer teach my small group. I ask him how to spell his name for my jurnul and he said like this Buer. He is nice and pretty big not as big as Belial and dont look the same but still reel nice. He tell us that the world has been reel meen to us and make us broken and not as good as everyone else. Buer say the world punush us even though we did not do anything. He ask us who made us like this and I say I gess God did. Buer say thats rite God made us this way and if it were up to us how would we chose to be made and I said if I could chose I would want to be smart and everyone else say they want to be smart to. Buer say of course we do. He say that meens we are all nicer and smarter than God who is just meen and unfair cause we would not make someone like this so why does he. I dont know. That's a reel tough thing cause like I said Im not smart so I dont know what to say about that. Buer say thats okay but he said its abowt time I come up with an anser. He say since the world has been so meen to me then I shud be meen to the world cause fare is fare. I say I gess so but the world is not so meen cause I got Oscar and I get to live at the T.O.G. and Im happy. Buer says what if the T.O.G. burn down? What if Oscar die? Beur say being happy will always go away and if I let the world treet me bad then I will never know my destiny. He says I mite be happy but its not enuff because I wasnt made the same as normal peepel and thats not fare. I guess I never thot about it like that.

Anyway I gess I wont rite anymore for now. I cant think reel good cause of all the noise. They are bilding things on the T.O.G. to make it bigger so more peepel can come stay and they been dragging big cages down the hall all day. Love, Paul.