Ellisa Kasey,
JOURNAL ENTRY 01
29 5 . 30
Paranoid Type Schizophrenia

Soon as I got released from the institution I don't call my parents for a second because who calls someone that don't know how to talk to me? Belial makes the most sense. All the secrets believe him but they don't know him like I do. I call them "secrets" because secrets are all they have, they think I don't know about the lies and the world but mostly my brains have eaten it all up. On the TV in the institution God told me about Belial and told me that voice I know real good is so familiar. God says Belial makes the most sense.

No bars or restraints or even pills at the T.O.G. center. First thing Belial says is no more pills, says I'm boring when I'm on the dope. All kinds of retards and sluts and freaks whipping up and down the hall and I tried and no one tells me to do or not to do anything. Got to yelling and spitting and Belial just laughs and says I'm a hoot and asks to take pictures. I pull my shirt up and stick my hands all in my pants and Belial says a joke is funnier when it's subtle and drops the camera on the floor.

I break that sucker open and it's full of bugs and I know the same kind of bugs at the institution were all in my eyes and ears. I can't hardly see anything I need to ever since they replaced my eyeballs at the institution. But that voice my parents said was the reason they knew I was crazy, I recognized it soon as I saw Belial up on TV in the desert. He's standing on this gurney and everyone stares at him like God and God in my head says Belial makes the most sense. Not sure what to believe and Belial says fine by him and says I can be a secretary. Says the memos will be really funny if I'm writing them but he doesn't know I know all about the secrets. Inside the T.O.G. there are sluts and retards but no secrets yet. I ask Belial how come and he says they will be here soon. I tell him I don't want no one in my room with me and I ain't staying in no cage. Belial says the world is a cage and life is the newspaper that I'm free to crap on. Then he does a little dance. He makes the most sense.

In this notebook everything I write gets translated into the Japanese or the Latin or some dead language because the secrets want what's in my head because they know that I know what I know. Belial says just write in the book. I ask him what to write and he says write what I think. Belial says we need new history books and he thinks history is much better with a sense of humor. He says only a few "special" people get notebooks and I'm numero uno on the list. No one gets my book but Belial. Not from my cold dead hands.

Holding the notebook, looking up at Belial, I say man the world is really weird now that you don't live underground anymore. Belial says I ain't seen nothing yet.