FROM THE CONFISCATED JOURNAL
OF DEBORAH PHINNEY:

Fading away. Hookd to an IV mashin keeps pumping ziz liquor into arm. brain so tired fading away cant think or rite or talk. man in bed next to me smiling, calling me beutifull calling me brunette. keeps showing me unlit cigaret and asking for lite. got a lite? he keeps saying it.

jospeh gone. darren gone. alone. fading away all alone.

remembering better times. remember when i met darren smiling at me stutering like a boy said I was so prety and I felt like I was. remember day joseph was born so small tiny littel hands he was perfect. remember being a girl sunsets in nevada over desert landscap purple and red and so beutuful so beutuful.

thats where im going in my hed. Feel my body go hevy and limp like weghts on me. heart slows down. so slow. brain aching and wants to give up. I try to hold on to write in my jernel again one more time before im gone I dont know why.

why did this happen why did this happen why did this happen why why why.

nevada sunset over mojave desert like gods painting in the sky amazing crimson and violet. im there sitting in the sand cool breeze licking my face. darren is there with me holding me agan. says im so prety take his breth away. joseph is there to and saying I love you mommy I love you.

brain slipping. slipping away.

sunset. joseph. why. darren looks at me so prety and says got a lite? holds cigaret up to me in the sunset and says hey brunette got a lite?

all is lost. all is lost.