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IT’S SEPTEMBER AND parents everywhere rejoice, because the kids go back to school and get the hell out of the house.
Even though Blake is very insistent that we ought to start pumping out heirs and scions right away, we only got engaged last week. And so far, we’re keeping it a secret. And I say, let’s not start any buns in any ovens until we decide to tell folks that we are buying a kitchen. I don’t want to be preggers first, and then tell folks we plan to get married. That’s gonna look like it’s an ‘Oooops! now we better get married’. And that’s just not true – we really want to marry. We just don’t want to admit we’re engaged any sooner than we have to. The plan is to set up a simple (what?) beach wedding. And to make sure it stays simple, we don’t want to leave a lot of lead time. If we let our two mothers know we’re going to tie the knot in six months, or next June, or whatever, I shudder to think what they will come up with. Rent Buckingham Palace maybe. Just for the ceremony though. The reception wouldn’t fit there. For that, they would lease Wembley Stadium, and have the R.A.F. parachute in the caterers.
Thanks anyway.
Besides, we have other things to keep the mama-sans busy now. First, the spectacular New Year’s Gala we are putting together. It’s Blake’s idea. Part of his new avocation – but more on that later. Anyway, I made a deal with Blake. Hold off on the procreation project until we can sneak in a wedding first. Instead, we can start training. Really get into shape for the impregnation effort by employing a rigorous program of practice, practice, practice. It takes commitment, but we are willing to make the sacrifice. And I must say, we are getting even better at fucking than ever.
Seb and Michelle loved Maui, and are enjoying the land of cuckoo clocks, chocolate, and bank secrecy. They love how clean it is in Switzerland. Of course they do. They’re Lab Rats. If they had their way, they would establish a sterile field from sea to shining sea.
It’s also interesting to see how “domestic life” has changed Jimmy. He was always efficient. But with Harold to analyze time and motion, and use computer algorithms to streamline the event planning operation, things practically run themselves now. And Jimmy? I always knew monogamy would stabilize his insanely chaotic, and serially tragic love life. As far as Harold, with Seb and Michelle on their sabbatical in the land of Heidi and Riccola, Harold is now running the Okoye Institute here in California. Now I have to laugh every time I hear Jimmy bitch about how Harold stays too late, works too hard, and keeps terrible hours. One is reminded of our frequent pot / kettle dichotomy issues of yore between Jimmy and me. A lot of folks are asking Jimmy and Harold when they plan to marry. But they just push past and ignore it. (Although it would not surprise me to learn I’m not the only one hiding a secret engagement).
And then, there’s good old Mom. From the day after Seb’s wedding, until about a month ago, my Mom was still staying in that North Guest House, driving me insane. As big as the Okoye estate is, her good old bestie, Cici, insisted Mom move into that Guest House permanently. I don’t care how many hectares of Spanish roof tile this joint has, it is still too small for the two of us to live under the same roof. It was getting so bad, I was about to ask Blake if we should move out ourselves. I couldn’t take much more.
But that is before Mom met Marcel’s brother. By which of course I mean Igor’s brother, Pierre. Want to talk charming? Well, speak French when you do, because this man makes Cary Grant look like Mickey Rourke. So imagine my mother’s delight, when after about three weeks of dating, they decided to move in together. (Please, please, please God, let my mother be content with finishing her golden years just living in sin. God save me if she decides to marry this guy. I would rather plan my own funeral than plan a wedding with her.)
Cici and Joseph will be back from their trip to Nigeria (and most of the African continent) in about a week. It has taken them almost two months to tour all the water systems, schools, sewage systems, public transport, job training centers, and micro-loan banks Joseph has funded throughout Africa. It will be great to see them again.
But most of all, I want them to see the changes in Blake’s life. He is making a career of philanthropy now. He sits on the boards of several charities, gives away a ton of the money we don’t need. But his “baby”, his personal mission almost, is something he got involved with through Dr. and Dr. Conroy, Michelle’s folks. It’s in the “Save Our Oceans” genre, but it’s a lot more than that. Its focus is developing new kinds of aquaculture. Farming the sea, but doing it in ways that scrub carbon out of the air, instead of adding to it. There are two goals: Fight climate change by reducing our carbon “fin-print”. And, to increase the amount of arable “land” to include the three-quarters of the earth’s surface that is not land, but water. In other words, grow enough food to feed everyone on earth. Hey, Blake is an Okoye. He thinks big.
Which is why I am stepping aside to let Jimmy run the wedding business on his own. I am now the “Executive Event Designer” for Blake’s ocean project. No more weddings, but endless gala fundraisers, conventions, program presentations, seminars, retreats, and bowling tournaments. I work just as hard as ever; instead of helping people spend enough money getting married, I work to fund putting kids through college, I feel like I am now working on something that just might make the world a better place.
And yes, I was kidding about the bowling tournaments.
THE END