Tuesday, August 12, 2014
“What’s all this?” Kyle asked, entering the bedroom later that evening.
I glanced at him, taking a second to appreciate his rock-hard muscles pressing against the fabric of his shirt. His biceps looked like they might rip his sleeves completely, and a stirring in my core definitely appreciated the view.
“Hello to you, too,” I said, a flirtatious lilt to my words.
His eyes darkened and his jaw set as he stalked over to me. My wandering eyes must have been a dead giveaway to what I was thinking. “Tessa…” he growled, a timbre in his voice that vibrated inside me.
I waved to the pile of books and papers around me. “I’m just doing some research.”
“Research for what?” He pushed aside enough to be able to sit on the bed. His fingers trailed down my inner thigh.
“The Death with Dignity Act, not only in Vermont, but everywhere. Carly’s sister was here earlier, she’s a journalist—”
His brows furrowed, and he looked confused. “Our real estate agent?”
“Yep, her little sister is Marley—long story—but she wants to write an article about me and what I’m doing. She does freelance, so I’m not sure where it will end up being published, but I think it’s a good idea. I think I could make a difference. So many of these laws and cases—” I gestured to the stack of papers around me. “They cause so much suffering, and they take away any freedom we have over our own bodies.”
“Tessa,” Kyle began, a groan following my name. “This is a sensitive topic. You know that.”
Piling up the rest of my papers, I put them on the nightstand. “It’s also my life. And I had to upend everything for it. You did, too. We shouldn’t have had to do that, and maybe if I talk publicly about it, then we can save someone else the hassle we had to go through.”
Kyle’s tongue slid across his lower lip and he moved farther on to the bed, resting against the headboard. “Tessa, I don’t regret moving here. I don’t regret doing anything for you.”
My eyes flickered to his. “Wait…you’re not mad about what I’m going to do?”
“Mad?” He looked surprised. “I’ve never been mad at you, babe. I just…” His voice trailed off, like he was still deciding what to say. I took the opportunity to crawl into his lap, draping my legs over his and resting my head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “It just hurts my heart, Tessa. I’m going to lose you, and it hurts that you want to leave me sooner than you have to.”
I tilted my head to look at him. His jaw was set, green eyes shining as he stared straight ahead. “Kyle…”
He didn’t let me finish. Instead, he dipped his chin and found my lips with his. It was soft and sweet, gentle presses and nips. I slid my hand from his chest to his neck, pulling him closer. Need grew inside me—for him, for our connection. There’d been so much tension, frustration, but it felt different now. The lines were fading, and something new and open had taken its place.
The soft caress of his lips quickly became not enough. His hunger seemed to grow with mine as he pulled me down on the bed, stretching me beneath him. I pressed my hips against his and he growled in my ear before finding my lips again.
He pulled my lower lip between his, sucking on it before moving to my top lip. My tongue slid forward, meeting his, dancing around each other as my nails pressed into his back and one of his hands slid down my side. Slipping inside my pants, he reached between my legs as I anchored my knees to the outside of his hips.
His finger teased me, my back arching off the bed. I groaned into his mouth. He pushed into me and I begged him to keep going. He kissed my jaw, tracing his way to my ear, and whispering how much he loved me. Pleasure built inside me, stiffening my muscles and stealing my breath as his hand picked up the pace.
Stars splintered behind my eyes and I fell over the edge, clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping me grounded, keeping me here. And in this moment, he was.
He whispered in my ear, told me to let go, assured me he had me, he loved me, he’d always love me. My heart burst into a million little pieces as my body followed suit.
“Kyle, please, I need you,” I begged him when I found my breath again. I pushed my pants down and wiggled out of them. He quickly did the same and was pressed against me seconds later.
“Tell me if it’s too much,” he warned, hovering above me and promising me ecstasy with every thrust of his hips.
“You’ve always been too much,” I teased.
He grinned from ear to ear. “You’re damn right, I am.”
With that, he pushed inside me and filled my heart completely. Our lips pressed together, I wrapped my arms around his neck as we moved together. He was careful, but he wasn’t holding back. I needed him, and this was everything we once were and more. I’d spent the last few weeks forgetting who I was, forgetting what made me happy. My singular focus had made me miss time I could have had doing just this. Being with my husband, being in love, being us.
I wasn’t going to waste another moment.
My body began to build with anticipation as each press brought me closer and closer to shattering. The strength in Kyle’s shoulders and arms as I held onto him sent a thrill through me, our lips fused together as our bodies met again and again.
“Together,” he whispered, curving one hand beneath me to lift my hips. “Together, Tessa.”
I nodded, as ready as he was. The new angle was everything I needed, my body trembling as the first few waves slid through me. Increasing the pressure, he moved faster and my eyes pressed closed as I tried to find my breath while losing complete control of my body.
Kyle groaned, holding me still against him as I pulsed around him. “Fucking hell, Tessa.” His breathing slowed as his grip loosened, leaving me sated and floating beneath him. “You always feel so amazing.”
I kissed him softly, telling him everything I was feeling in the way I held his face and touched his lips. He heard me and he replied, returning my affection with more of his own.
He slid to the bed, my back to his chest, wrapping an arm around me. “What can I do to help with the article?” he asked after a few quiet moments cuddling.
I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling too wide, but I couldn’t stop the grin on my face at both his acceptance and his support. “Nothing. I just need you.”
“And I need you.” He nuzzled his nose against my cheek. “I’ll always need you.”
I took his hands in mine, wrapping them tighter around me, enjoying the squeezing feeling of being so close to him. “I’ll always be around, somehow.”
He didn’t say anything. I started talking, telling him everything I’d learned in my research, as well as everything Marley had told me. He listened quietly, his thumb gently stroking my forearm.
Kyle kissed my neck again. “I would do that if you asked me, Tessa. If you needed me, I would.”
I quickly turned around in his arms to face him, horror in my voice. “I’d never want you to kill yourself, Kyle. Never. Promise me.”
“No, not that. Of course, I’d never do that. I mean…” He looked like he was contemplating it for a moment. “Maybe if I was eighty and we’d been married sixty years.”
“Kyle, I’m serious.” I shook my head adamantly. “Don’t you dare.”
“Relax, Tessa.” He smiled and kissed me on the tip of my nose. “What I meant was I’d do it for you. If it hadn’t been legal and there was no other way, and you asked me to help you…I’d help you. I wouldn’t like it, but I’d do it if you were suffering and that’s what you wanted.”
I stared at him for a minute, both loving he’d do something like that for me and also grateful he didn’t have to. Brushing my fingers over his cheek, I cupped his face and kissed him. “You’re already helping me. So much.”
“It’ll never be enough,” he whispered against my lips. “You deserve so much more. More than twenty-eight years.” His voice trembled, straining. “More than I can give you.”
“You gave me all your love.” I brushed my hand through his hair and pushed my hips against his so we were completely touching from head to toe. “You’ve given me everything, Kyle.”
He groaned and I felt him press against my hips. “I want to give you more. I want more time. I want…more.”
“Take what you want from me.” I hooked a knee over his hips and kissed his neck. “I’d give you anything.”
He pushed my legs apart, moving over me and cradling my head in his hands. “I’ve only ever wanted you, Tessa.”
“Take me then.” I licked my lips, never taking my eyes from his. “I’m yours.”
He pushed inside me, his lips hovering above mine. “Tessa, if this is all I get, if a few years with you is all I will have, then I’ve already lived a better life than I ever could have dreamed of.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I pressed my mouth to his. “All my love, Kyle.”
“All my love, Tessa.”