Chapter Thirty-Four
“Thank you for agreeing to chat with me.”
Desiree sat on the couch facing Sanantha who sat in the armchair in the living room of the main beach house. “Not a problem. I’ve been wanting a chance to get to know you better.”
“Really? How nice.”
“You got us through the whole episode. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be sitting here today if you hadn’t stepped in.”
Sanantha nodded politely, but ducked the spotlight. “You and your father have been through a lot, and I’ve spent a lot of time with him making sure he’s handling it well. Now I wanted to check in with you too. It’s been nearly two months since your trauma. Your father says you’re making great progress medically, and he is confident you will make a complete recovery. So can we talk about how this has affected you?”
“I think my biggest reaction is relief that it’s over. I mean, it was bad enough waking up to being sick as a dog for two weeks straight. Then realizing how awful everything had gotten. My mom died after being in a coma for five months, my dad lost his mind, the whole cloning thing with Uncle Young Nae kidnapping me, and then he got killed in a firefight with the police. It’s all way too Hollywood for me. I’m just a sophomore History major at Georgetown. That really is exciting enough for me.”
“I see you changed your hair. Auburn suits you.”
She ran her hand through the new angular, swept back cut. “Yeah, I didn’t want to go too red all at once.”
“Are you putting the black behind you?”
Desiree grinned her crooked dimpled smile. “Very true. Besides, it was a hodgepodge, what with four months of Mom’s jet black roots. So, yes, it’s part of my new start. By the way, I really like your turban. You’re lucky you can wear that gorgeous yellow. I love how high you wind it. Very regal.”
Again, Sanantha sidestepped the attention. “Thank you. You said you realized all these things had gone wrong. How much of it do you remember, and how much of it have you pieced together from what people have told you?”
“That’s hard to say. I know all the gory details because I’ve been over it multiple times with the lawyers.”
“Yes, I heard about the trial for the farmer’s death. It all turned out well, didn’t it?”
“Yes, Lo Cheung’s lawyers did a good job of getting me acquitted. I never had to appear in court, since I was bedridden. My dad also offered reparations from Young Nae’s life insurance money, which pleased the judge. Of course, your friend Simon helped a lot too.”
“Simon Herrera?”
“Yes, didn’t you know? He got himself appointed the Medical Examiner for the State. He backed up everything you said in your report. So with both sides saying the same thing, the judge had to let me off.”
“He hadn’t told me anything about this.”
“Well, he actually told me not to tell you until it was all over. I guess you two had a spat about ethics or something. I guess he wanted to make up for it.”
Sanantha was surprised enough that she lowered her guard. “Well, well, well. So the judge found you temporarily incompetent when the farmer was killed?”
“He commented that there was reason to believe I was not in my ‘right mind’ at the time”
“You do understand that is accurate? You were literally someone else.”
“Yeah, I get that. My dad explained that the virus put my mind on hold while it changed my body to look like Mom. You know, that’s what bugs me through all of this. I am so frustrated that everyone keeps talking about all the stuff I’m supposed to have done, but I can’t remember doing any of it.”
“What do you remember?”
“Just enough that I can tell where the gaps are. I remember coming to Malaysia after Young Nae told us Mom died. I remember the funeral. I remember Dad and Young Nae having a series of big fights about their business and Dad’s discoveries. Then there’s this huge blank. I’ve been told it was four months. Then I remember waking up in Young Nae’s house out in the jungle, and wandering around totally lost, not knowing where I was or anything. That was very strange. All the clothes there fit me, but I swore I had never set foot in the place before.
“Then I got bit, and I called for help, and I passed out. Then I woke up in the hospital. Initially I thought, okay, this makes sense, I’m in the hospital recovering from the snakebite. Then I found out about the whole farmer killing thing, and the gunfight with Young Nae, and I’m thinking, what else did I miss? Now, I get that the blanks are when the virus was in control. It’s still very frustrating.”
“Do you find the blanks frightening?”
“No, because I’ve learned what happened. Just aggravating that so much happened outside of my control.”
“Are your memories intact from before you came to Malaysia?”
“You mean, are there blanks in my memory of my childhood? Like my memory is failing?”
“No, I don’t suspect that you have any memory disorders. I just want to know if this scrambling of your memories has affected your ability to retrieve things from before all this happened.”
“No, I don’t think so. Just the other day I was sitting in bed daydreaming. They make me rest a lot, so I do a lot of daydreaming. One of my favorite childhood memories came floating back to me.”
“What was that?”
“I’m riding my bicycle home from school. We lived at the top of a long hill. I’m tired by the time I get to the house. I go inside, and my mom comes out of the kitchen and greets me with a box of cookies. My mom travelled a lot on business, so I was used to her not being home for weeks at a time. It’s just a really special memory.”
“It’s a lovely memory.”
“So I think everything else is still intact up here,” she said tapping her temple.
“That’s good. How do you feel about losing your mom?”
“I thought she was dead back in January. Then when I found out she had been in a coma all this time, it was a bit of a shock. It wasn’t like she was back. I mean, she was still gone. I’m sad that she finally died. I think my dad was hoping she might pull out of it.”
“Does her passing leave you with any open questions?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“You and your dad are going to be grieving her passing in different ways. At the same time, you two will have to be there for each other as you move ahead to remake your family without her. If you have outstanding issues with your mother, then you and I can talk about them without it spilling over on your relations with your dad.”
“Well, you’ve kind of opened a Pandora’s Box with that question. I have always lived in my mother’s shadow. She was always this superwoman charging off to save the world. My dad adored her, and could forgive her anything.”
“Did he neglect you in his adoration of her?”
“Oh, we have always been great friends. He’s been my buddy dad my whole life, but I’ve always known I was a distant second to his affections. I feel bad talking about her like this, especially now that she’s dead.”
“Respect for the dead shouldn’t have to include denying your true feelings.”
“I loved her too. She really was a kind, loving mother. She just wasn’t around that much.”
“Your father was?”
“Yes, I never wanted for anything. It was also clear that his love for her was the most important thing in his life. I imagine he will be grieving for her for a long time.”
“He and I are working on that. Did you grow up feeling his love for you was lacking?”
“Lacking is probably too strong a word, although you’ve got the idea. It’ll be interesting to see if that changes now that she’s gone.” Desiree frowned as if she were struggling with how to say something. “You know, I have noticed something, about me. When I thought Mom was dead in January, I was really worried about Dad sinking into despair and completely forgetting about me. I remember that being a very real worry of mine.”
“Has that changed?”
“Yes, and I don’t understand why. It just doesn’t bother me as much this time, now that she really is gone. It’s like I have a whole new outlook on where I fit into the picture. I feel so much more confident about how Dad and I are going to move forward.”
“That’s a good thing. This bothers you?”
“It is a good thing, but it’s a big change, big enough that I noticed it.”
“You had a brush with death. People often come away from those with a fresh perspective on life.”
“I guess.”
“While we’re talking about how you feel about yourself after all these changes, I want to talk with you about how you feel about what happened to you while you were cloned.”
“I actually have thought about that a lot. I remember seeing the sexy clothes and the expensive lingerie in Young Nae’s jungle hideaway, so I know what he was doing to me. On the other hand, I have so little connection to that time, I just don’t feel like he was raping me. It really feels like it was somebody else. Which I guess biologically, it was.”
“So you don’t feel violated?”
“Well, I do feel violated. I was kidnapped and my identity was wiped out. That’s not the same thing as if he slipped me a ruffie and date raped me. As far as I can understand, the clone actually loved him.”
“We’ll never know. You know how you feel.”
“I am grossed out thinking about my body having sex with Young Nae. On the other hand, I don’t think I’m scarred like a rape victim.”
“How do you feel about your body?”
“I don’t feel dirty or wounded. When I first thought about this, I thought I should feel like something had been stolen from me. I don’t. I feel in my bones like that happened to somebody else.”
“Do you think you will be able to have sexual relations and not be reminded of what happened?”
“That’s a good point. Probably not. I can only hope I can learn to deal with that when the time comes.”
“I want to stay in touch with you. If anything comes up, please call me. Even years from now. I’m pretty sure no one has ever gone through what you’ve been through, so there is no history we can look up. Trust and intimacy could potentially be difficult. There are also fragments of memories still floating around in your brain that were encoded with the virus DNA. It is possible you will recall things that do not make any sense. I expect you will be having déjà vu moments because of the mismatches. You may also have nightmares caused by conflicting bits of memory. So keep note of these, if they happen, and let me know about them.”
“I can do that.” Desiree paused and chewed her lip. “Now I have a question for you. Did that snake bite kill me?”
“Apparently not. Here you are.”
“I’m here because you brought me back. My dad dodged the question. He said the two of you didn’t know if I was alive or if it was just the virus keeping the clone alive. So I’m wondering, how big a gamble was it to kill the virus?”
“It was the only way to get you back.”
“Wasn’t it something like two hours between the snake bite and when you gave me the antidote?”
“Yes, but cobra venom kills by stopping your breathing. The virus stepped in and kept you breathing throughout. Mind you, it did that by rearranging you genetically. At no point did your breathing stop.”
“Until you got me to the helicopter.”
“How so?”
“Going over the evidence for the trial, I saw the record of my vital signs on the helicopter. Just before you revived me, everything went flat. So it would seem that the only thing alive at the time was the virus. What was it that you did to bring me back?”
Sanantha wasn’t prepared to talk about this, and hesitated.
Desiree pressed. “Lo Cheung says it was a transfer of chi energy. My dad called it a spiritual defibrillation. Figures he’d give it some mashed up medical name. I recall from my Medieval Studies that Dark Age healers did something called a ‘laying of the hands’. So what did you do?”
“I asked God for mercy. It worked. How it worked, I have no idea.”
“Dad told me specifically not to bring this up, but you want to talk about what’s bothering me. He said I was going to sound insensitive or ignorant of other cultures.”
“Yes, I believe in Voodoo. Yes, it was the Voodoo goddess of mercy who I asked for help. If it was She who saved you, and I can’t say that it was, then you should know her name is Erzulie. She has helped me through difficult times my whole life. There is nothing dark or sinister about Her. I would be happy to get you some good books if you want to read up on Her, and the religion as well.”
“I will probably take you up on that.” She paused in reflection. “So I was dragged halfway around the world to Malaysia by a mad man who wanted to kidnap me and make my body into a clone of his lover, my mom. Then I was saved by my dad’s psychiatrist who summoned divine intervention from a Voodoo goddess.”
“Oh, you forgot the part about how the mad man, your father’s best friend, had also mastered ancient arts so he could kill people with a thought. This has indeed been a tour de force of the weird and mysterious. I want to point out though, through it all, your dad has been very focused on your well-being. We originally thought you were the one in a coma upstairs. He was there every day for you. You said you have always suspected his love for Cheri overshadowed his love for you. He showed me no signs of that when he thought you were helpless in that bed. I have no doubt he will be there for you going forward. When you say you want to return to a normal, peaceful life, I think the two of you can start building that right away with each other’s help.”
“So you suggest I move forward and not be too worried about how it all went down?”
“Of course you can ask questions and settle any doubts you have. You just don’t want to linger on the past. There is a lot of ugliness there that you don’t want to let take over your thoughts. So yes, life moves on. So should we.”
* * * *
On the way into Kuala Lumpur International Airport, Desiree noticed that her father missed the turn into the terminal drop off lanes. “Dad, I think that was our left turn.”
“Oh, I’m going to park and walk you in. Did you think I was just going to drop you off?”
“It’d be a lot easier.”
“No, I’ll walk you in. Pretty girl in a crowded airport full of pick pockets. Besides, Security is always a hassle.”
She rolled her eyes. “Thanks, Dad.”
He picked up a CD to put into the dashboard player.
She intercepted him and slipped it from his fingers. “Deep Purple? Seriously?”
“Hey, my geezer rock gave me the comfort to stay sane throughout this whole mess.”
She pursed her lips and nodded. “Okay. I can believe that. Just please, don’t make me listen to it.”
“All right, all right. Did I remember to give you a company credit card? What about the house keys for when you get home?”
“Yes, I’ve got both right here in my purse. Are you sure you’re okay with me heading back home without you?”
“Oh, yeah. I have every confidence you will fit right back into your life at home.” “Actually, I meant are you going to be okay alone here in Malaysia?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got more work than I can keep up with, figuring out how to run CytoCorp. I won’t have time to be lonely.”
“Good. So you’re going to stay and run the company yourself?”
“I haven’t decided whether to take up Lo Cheung’s offer to manage things for me. It is tempting, but I’ll wait and see if I can do it first.”
He pulled into a parking garage and three young men approached, offering to park the car for him. “No thanks,” he called out through the open window. “I’ll park it myself.” Then to his daughter he added, “Every time they touch a door handle or a piece of luggage it’ll cost you.” He circled around and found a spot. It was a tight fit with the Land Rover between all the tiny commuter cars crowded into the lot.
“So what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?”
“Finish telling my friends I’m not brain dead.”
“Really? Didn’t you spend a bunch of time online getting your friends up to speed?”
“I’m still in the middle of sorting that out. Young Nae hacked into my accounts and mass emailed all my friends that I was in a coma. Most of my friends sent condolences, and a few thought it was a joke. So now, I have to figure out how to tell people that I’m fine. I mean, does anyone need to know I was kidnapped?
“I’d only share that with my best friends who are going to hear the whole story.”
“That’s my point. What can I say to the majority of people who I am not going to tell the whole story to? ‘Hi, I’m fine. That message you got four months ago that I was brain dead was just a misunderstanding.’ That’s going to raise more questions.”
Randy got out and opened the tailgate. “You could only tell your best friends anything at all, tell them the whole story, and let word spread that you are okay.”
She considered the option. “That could work. Thanks.”
Randy got her luggage out and organized it, with smaller bags stacked on bigger wheeled ones. Once he got it all out, he paused and took a big sighing breath.
Not a good sign, Desiree thought. “I remember that sigh when you first sent me off to college.”
He smiled. “Actually, that was a different sigh. This is the ‘I’ve got something to say but I don’t know how to say it’ sigh.”
She shrugged and gave him her goofy, crooked smile. “I’m all ears. If it would make it easier, we can walk while we talk.”
“Sure. We’ve talked about the horrific stuff that happened this year. Between those talks and the lawyers filling you in on everything, I think you have a pretty good picture of how it all went down. Now it’s just down to the two of us. So I want to make sure you and I are okay going forward.”
“Why wouldn’t we be okay?”
“I made some bad decisions along the way. I gave into temptations and I made things a lot worse. In fact, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, I still feel like I put you in harm’s way.”
“By making the virus in the first place?”
He looked relieved at not having to explain this point. “Yes.”
“I’ll grant you that if you hadn’t made it, I wouldn’t have ended up being kidnapped and cloned. Seriously, though, I don’t think you had much say in the matter. After seeing all the people Young Nae manipulated or maimed or killed, I don’t think you could have stopped him. I assume you’ve talked to Doctor Mauwad about this. Did she tell you to talk to me?”
“No. I mean yes, we have talked about it. But no, she didn’t tell me to come talk to you. So you don’t blame me for the cloning?”
“I know you were devastated when we thought Mom had died. I also remember you arguing with Young Nae. Now I know those fights were over how to clone Mom. Don’t ever let a mad scientist suffer a grievous loss. There’s no telling what he’ll do. To your credit, you refused to bring me into it, so he took you out with poison and booby trapped your body to self—destruct.”
Randolph nodded. “Yes, he did all that.”
“I can only imagine how hard it was for you to bring me back when it looked like you could get her instead. You did choose me over the clone. So yeah, I can see where you were tempted. I can also see where you stood up for me.” She reached over and squeezed his hand. “I miss her too. Thank you for saving me.”
His voice cracked. “I can’t tell you what a relief that is for me. I am so proud of you for being able to see through to what matters. Goodness, you have matured so much. You’ve certainly got a clearer head on you than I do.”
They had walked to the terminal and stopped in front of the large glass windows that formed the front of the building. She didn’t want to compete with the noise inside the terminal.
“Since I have returned from the cloning, I have a whole new perspective. I get the whole brush with death, new lease on life thing. It’s more than that. I just see things more clearly. It’s easier to see the positive now. I think I surprised Doctor Mauwad with how intact I am after what could have been a really scarring experience.”
Just then, a sparrow flew past them and right into the large window. It bounced off the glass with a ringing thud, and fell motionless on the ground next to them.
“Oh, man. Poor little guy probably broke his neck.”
Randy added, “It’s so sad that animals have no idea what manmade structures are, especially glass.”
Desiree bent down and picked up the bird.
“You’re going to want to wash your hands after that,” her father advised.
“Come on, little fella,” she said as she stroked his back. She gently felt around his neck to see if his head was still on straight.
“Do you feel it breathing? I think that’s a dead bird.”
The bird did not move for a long minute. Then it twitched its wing. Then it opened its eyes and looked around.
“Hey, there you are,” she cooed.
It fluttered and stood up in her hand before flying away.
“I guess it was just stunned.”
Randy stood there and stared at her hands for a moment. “I guess so. Nice work.”
“So you were saying how glad you are that I came through this okay, and I was saying I think I’m more than just okay. I think I’ve got a whole new outlook.”
He looked her over with that proud look that she loved to get, the look that said he not only loved her, but he loved being her dad. “I can’t say how happy I am that you came out of this on top. One of the big goals Sanantha set for me is to forgive myself for endangering you.”
“You and I can’t afford to be anything but absolutely honest with each other going forward. We’re all we’ve got. So believe me when I say it’s all in the past. I forgive you, Dad. Now you can forgive yourself.”
