THOSE WERE DARK days. Mike’s moving out of their home had left her devastated, in a no man’s land so far removed from what she was used to that Martha felt disconnected, wounded; filled with so much self-doubt that at times she could barely leave the house. She felt raw and exposed. Mike had always been there to protect her. Now she was alone.
Kim, Ruth and Kathleen were as supportive as they could be, rallying around and trying to cheer her up, telling her how well she was doing – when she knew she wasn’t. Kim reminded her of all the stages she herself had gone through before her divorce became final, the custody battles, the petty bickering, the hate and spite and jealousy and the nightmare of her alimony war. Martha prayed that she and Mike did not fall into that category. Kathleen fussed around her like a big mother hen, actually arriving with cakes and treats and ready-made meals as if Martha was about to stop eating and fade away, whereas Rianna, who knew about genuine loss, phoned her last thing at night and first thing in the morning, when she was lying in that big empty double bed: a comforting voice across the line talking with her and encouraging her to greet the new day. And of course there was Evie, her oldest friend, who never criticized or blamed and refused to take sides, and tried to encourage some sort of dialogue between herself and Mike.
The kids took it badly, Patrick wrapping himself in silence and not wanting to talk about it. Loyal to his father he didn’t want to hear anything bad said against Mike and Martha agreed with that. She was not about to attack his father or try to make him choose between them! As far as she was concerned her kids had a mom and a dad and were entitled to love them both. Patrick at fifteen was acting the man of the house and insisting on taking over some of Mike’s chores, trying to take care of her and the girls. Mary Rose on the other hand was angrier than she’d ever seen before, blaming Mike for walking out on them and Martha for somehow ruining their lives. Only Alice gave in to the true emotions she was feeling and admitted to being a small scared girl who missed her daddy.
Martha was determined, once over the initial shock, to behave decently. Neither of them had done anything wrong and they deserved respect. Mike was surprised when she invited him to come home one evening a week to share a family meal with her and the kids. She forced herself to be polite and rational and proud on those occasions, all for the sake of their kids, who needed to know that their parents did not hate or want to destroy each other.
Ruth was busy seeking out possible venues and dates for future healing sessions in a number of places. Martha had already agreed to do another in the Tanner Radford building, and a possible one in a school hall in New York.
‘Can’t we leave it for the moment, Ruth, until I see how things are with me and the kids? There is so much going on I just need to be there for them.’
‘Martha, if we leave it too late there is not a chance in hell of us getting a booking of a good venue, and the top venues will hold a better crowd and have adequate seating and the extra facilities like the wheelchair access and ramps that we need.’
‘I know, but I just feel that the kids might need me to be around and not off touring.’
Reluctantly Ruth agreed to hold off making any bookings for at least a month, so Martha could have time to consider what she truly wanted.
She preferred to work with the people who came to ‘the upstairs room’, where she had the time to talk and listen and get to know them individually, or to visit people like Thea with whom she had developed a relationship. Martha was the kind of person who couldn’t help becoming emotionally involved and caring for all those that came in search of healing.
She still thought of Cass and prayed for her, and was upset when Sue Lucas told her that Beth and Tom Armstrong had sought legal advice about her so-called negative involvement with their child. Fortunately, it looked like it would go no further but Martha couldn’t believe how Cass’s parents had totally turned against her.