Bryce opened the door, took one look at Brady and said, “Emma, go on up and play with Millie. She’s waiting for you in her room.” Brady’s daughter left and his brother dragged him into the den which he closed off for privacy. Brady didn’t want to examine what he was doing, but he couldn’t refuse his brother’s request. They sat opposite each other on stuffed chairs. “What’s going on, Brade?”
“What do you mean?”
“You look like the time you and Jenny were going to have sex and you asked me for condoms.”
He delayed answering by glancing around the room. Family photos everywhere. He blew out a heavy breath. “I have a real date with Lynne.”
“She didn’t react badly when you told her you’re a minister?”
Brady felt the flush from his toes to his head. Again, he averted his gaze, pretending to study the light snow falling outside the window.
“Brade, you did tell her.”
He had to man up to this. “No. But I’m going to before anything more happens between us.”
“That’s why you wanted Emma to stay overnight here?”
“Yes. And tomorrow’s my Sunday off.” The pastoral relations committee had set six Sundays a year for Brady to have free, in addition to giving him a sabbatical, which he’d yet to take. “So, if you could keep her until I get back, I’d appreciate it.”
“Of course. You’re making big plans, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but I have my own condoms this time.”
The corners of Bryce’s mouth turned up. “I’m happy for you. You’ve been so alone since Jenny died.”
“And I’m tired of it. We have to keep this between us.”
“All right. But, why? No one’s going to criticize you for going on with your life. You can come out of hiding after you tell her about your ministry.”
“They’ll expect somebody like Jenny.”
“Lynne’s a firefighter, right? It’s a more-than-respectable job. She’s a hero.”
“I know. But she isn’t divorced yet. Legally separated, though.”
“Huh. That could be an issue. Can’t you wait till the divorce is final?”
“I don’t think so.”
He sighed. “What does God have to say about all this?”
“God’s been quiet all week.”
“You should make your own decisions.”
“Not without God. But I know God’s with me no matter what.”
“I envy your faith.”
“You do pretty well with yours.” Brady stood. “I’ll go say goodbye to Emma.”
Bryce slid his arm around Brady’s shoulder. “Have fun, bro.”
“Thanks.”
* * *
Lynne had driven out to the cottage on Dannerville Lake early in the day. She’d had the place professionally cleaned after Ken got his stuff out and she took the extra step of changing the locks. This place would be her haven when she needed one.
She thought about Brady’s text to arrange the date.
What time? Where? And can I pick you up?
Nope, I have a better idea. Here are directions to my cottage on Dannerville Lake. It’s kind of fun in the cold weather and we can have privacy.
You’re on. See you at six.
I’ll be there.
Now, she set grocery bags down on the counter which faced the wide wall of windows. She lifted out a gooey cake which smelled like rich deep chocolate, a turkey and stuffing, yams and beans, along with a couple of bottles of wine. Her breath hitched at the bagels, eggs and bacon she’d also purchased. She didn’t know if he’d stay overnight—or if he could because of Emma—but Lynne was prepared.
In every way.
Once the turkey was in—it would take hours—she went upstairs to the bath off the master bedroom and drew water. The room filled with the scent of jasmine oil she’d splurged on. She soaked for a long time, letting the heat and the jets drain her of tension.
She wondered what kind of lover Brady would be. Probably tender and gentle and solicitous. Was he a talker? She didn’t think so. There was something about him…
Afterward, she dressed in gray wool pants and a peach vee-neck sweater. On an impulse, she swept her hair up into a messy knot, stuck in hammered gold earrings and slipped into moccasins.
She finished the preparations—scrubbing the yams and cutting the ends off beans—then checked the clock. He wasn’t due for two hours.
The lake beckoned so she went to the windows and stared at the winter waves crashing against the shore. Then her computer chimed. Oops. She’d forgotten that the Sisters of Fire had a Zoom session. Happy for the distraction, she sat down at the desk in the living space and clicked into Zoom. Brooke was on—she’d set it up—and Tess. “Hi, there. How are you two?”
Before they could answer, Trish and JJ joined them. Then, Annie appeared. “Look who I have?” Annie held a puppy. A tiny Yorkshire Terrier.
“You got one?” JJ laughed. She did a lot of that lately.
Trish said, “Goodbye sleep for a while.”
“Yeah, and your all-nighters are coming in seven months.”
Tess asked, “Boy or girl?”
“Girl of course.”
“What’s her name?”
“I thought we’d name her together. You all get to choose one, then I’ll pick my favorite.”
“Ollie,” Brooke said.
“Where did that come from?” Annie asked.
Her friend shrugged. “She’s looks like an Ollie to me.”
“No way.” JJ turned her head to the side. “Honey, what should Annie name her dog?”
Gorgeous Nick Barrows walked into the screen. His hair was messed and his shirt open. A collective sigh came from the group. “Scalpel.” He kissed the top of JJ’s head.
Tess said, “Sassy. Then she can be a canine Sister of Fire.”
“Lynne? You’re awfully quiet. You okay?”
“I’m great.”
“Then a name?”
Lynne cocked her head. “Temptation.”
“What?”
“What?”
“What?”
JJ frowned. “Go away, Nick. Girl talk time.”
Nick disappeared.
Tess’s eyes narrowed. “Where are you?”
“At the lake house.”
Brooke said, “That sweater looks dynamite on you. Cashmere? New purchase?”
“Yes to both.”
Annie’s eyes widened. “You’re having a love tryst out at the lake? With the guy from Halloween?”
“I am, if he shows up.”
The doorbell rang. “Sorry ladies, he obviously did. I have to go. And I like Sassy the best.”
Lynne clicked out of Zoom and hurried to the door.
* * *
Brady smiled at the picture she made. How could someone be both cute and sexy at the same time? He asked her.
“Ha! It’s been a while since anybody called me cute.”
“You probably hear sexy, though.”
“Shush. Come on in.”
Once she closed the door, he sniffed. “It smells like Thanksgiving.”
“Yeah, that was the point. I figured we wouldn’t see each other on the holiday so we’re having our own private celebration.”
He kissed her briefly. She had no idea how committed he was for the holiday. His entire congregation gathered for the meal. “How sweet.” He glanced around. “I like the open concept. One big room.”
“Yeah. Bedrooms are upstairs.” She flushed. He drew her close. He slid his hands to her sides, rubbed up and down. She didn’t have an ounce of fat on her. “We know what we’re going to do, why we’re here. Let’s enjoy every single second.”
Oh, man. Where had he learned to put people at ease like that. “You’re on. Want to sit on the couch facing the water and have a drink? The lake isn’t frozen yet, and it’s fun to see the waves pummel the shore.”
“Nature proving her dominance.”
They took seats on her sofa. Off-white was impractical for a cottage, but she followed her taste when she made the purchase.
“So, any fallout from the Boys’ Group discussion?”
He froze. “Excuse me?”
“You thought parents might call you. About the sex talk.”
Relieved she hadn’t discovered anything about the church, he blew out a heavy breath. “Yeah, some.” A board member had heard rumors and asked him. Carlton Matthews got wind of it and raised a ruckus, ending with This isn’t over. “I managed to escape in one piece.”
“What a delicate balance that is. Doing what’s best for kids when it angers their parents.”
Which was doubly complicated by his position. Suddenly, he knew this was the best time to tell her.
“Brady, what’s wrong? Your face paled.”
“We need to talk.”
She shook her head vehemently. “No. Sorry I questioned you on the kids. This is no-strings-attached, recreational sex we’re having and I won’t let you spoil it with reservations.”
“I don’t have any. I have to tell you something.”
“Well, come upstairs and do it because I’m going to my bedroom.”
Brady let her go and stayed downstairs for several minutes. He asked God for guidance, but none came. Who the hell was he kidding? God wasn’t here tonight. This wasn’t right.
It’s only wrong to keep your secret. The rest is fine with Me.
Holy hell!
Rising from the couch, he set his glass down and trudged up the stairs like a man going to the gallows. Lynne had come to Crystal Corners for a different life from the staid one she’d lived in Dannerville. His life was the definition of staid.
The door was open to the room at the end of the small hallway and he could see the water from here. He made himself walk there. Once inside, he found her standing by the bed. She wore a white satiny robe with green leaves on it.
She faced him. “Please, Brady. Don’t spoil this. I’ll only ask you one time more, because no is no for men, too.”
“I’m not saying no. I want this as much as you do.”
She unbelted her robe and eased it off her shoulders. “Then shut up Brady Jamison. Make love to me.”
* * *
“Here?” He kissed her neck. It tasted salty.
“It’s a good start.”
“How about here?”
“You’re going in the right direction.”
His tongue laved her abdomen. His lips kissed her hip bone.
“Hmm.”
Finally, when he went lower, she whispered, “Yeah. Right there.”
Later, she ordered, “Hold onto the headboard.”
“I…” He found himself on his back. And Lynne was giggling. He raised his arms to the headboard. Grasped the rungs. He loved this. “Have your way, woman.”
She did. He moaned, he squirmed and he almost bucked on the bed.
But when they came together, fully, on their sides facing each other, the joining was almost sacred. Brady’s heart wanted her, and the whole thing was tempered by reverence.
This was anything but recreational sex.
* * *
Brady went down to the kitchen to get more wine while she dressed. Alone, upstairs, still in bed, she thought about how gentle and tender their first coming together had been, as she expected.
When she noticed the little love bites on the inside of her thigh, she shivered. That had been the second time, where he was freer, wilder, and more adventurous. She loved both.
A buzz came from under the bed. She fished her hand around and a found a phone. She hadn’t brought hers up here. Lifting it up made the screen come on. Without thinking, she glanced down.
As she read the text, her breath hitched.
Hey, Reverend Jamison. Mark Hanson here. I had a question about changing the order of Sunday Service a bit, so my sermon will fit better. It’s not what you do, but is it all right by you?
The letters squirmed like maggots. She bit her lip.
We need to talk.
I have to tell you something.
Brady had been planning to tell her he was a minister!
* * *
In the kitchen, surrounded by the scent of cooking turkey, Brady turned toward the stairway holding two glasses of wine. Lynne appeared at the bottom. She’d put her robe back on and he wore only his boxers.
“Hey, I said I’d bring this upstairs.” He walked toward her and lowered his head. She drew away. Some of the wine spilled onto his bare chest.
She held up his phone. “It’s from Mark Hanson. He wants to know if he can change the order of your church service, different from how you do it.”
He felt sick to his stomach. “That’s what I wanted to tell you.”
“Yeah, I figured. I wasn’t snooping, by the way. You dropped your phone under the bed. As I pulled it out, the text popped up.”
“It’s okay either way.”
Her expression was so bleak he was disgusted by what he’d done.
“I betrayed you.”
“Not that.”
“Are you mad?”
“No.” She turned and walked to the couch where they’d sat before. He brought over the wine and dropped down next to her. He fortified himself with a sip of the tart Chardonnay then set his glass down. Facing her, he picked up her hand and kissed her fingers, remembering how they felt exploring his body. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before we made love.”
“You tried to, Brady.” She gripped his hand. “I wouldn’t let you.”
“No, this is all my fault.”
“Circumstances. Fate.” She raised her eyes to the ceiling. “Does your God represent fate?”
“No, not at all.”
“Tell me.”
This wasn’t the conversation he wanted to have now. “My God supports people when they need it. Guides them to do the right thing. God doesn’t control outcomes; otherwise, how would you explain the evil in the world?”
“How do you explain it?”
“Evil exists. People are good. And sometimes we behave badly.”
“Does your God forgive?”
“I think God helps us forgive ourselves and others.”
“I’m glad for you.”
She leaned forward and met her forehead with his. They both closed their eyes, stayed that way for a few minutes, then she drew back. “Not that I’m presuming anything, but know that I left Dannerville for a different kind of life.”
“More exciting, right?”
“Yes. I was tired of the narrowed-minded and smothering nature of a small village.”
“And you probably can’t think of anything more narrow than religion.”
“No criticism of you, but you’re right.”
He swallowed hard.
“It’s fortunate that we found out this soon.”
“This soon?”
“Yes. We can stop this attraction between us in its tracks.”
“Is that what you want, Lynne?” He couldn’t control the curtness of his tone.
“I didn’t want that, Brady. You know I didn’t. But now I don’t see any other choice.”
“I see. Well, that’s that then.” Why was there anger building inside him. He was in the wrong by letting the relationship get this far. Playing with fire.
And they both got burned.
* * *
Lynne walked around the house, feeling its emptiness. The turkey had burned so she threw it in the trash, along with the rest of the meal. Too upset to drive, especially after drinking wine, she decided to stay overnight, so she went upstairs, put on warm pajamas and changed the sheets on the bed. But she weakened, sat down on the mattress and sniffed them. They smelled like him. And sex. She stayed there a long time, then finally managed to make up the bed. She went downstairs and threw the bedding into the laundry closet.
Hurt and confused and frustrated, she bundled up in a heavy down coat, boots and a hat and mittens and went to sit outside with the wine.
The cold pierced her cheeks like needles, made her toes curl. But the frigid weather numbed her some. She thought back to all she’d done this year. How selfish she’d been in insisting they move.
No, that wasn’t fair to her. Ken had started an affair before she made the ultimatum. They were equally to blame for the fact that her marriage had gone cold.
Finally, she was forced to go back inside. She dropped all her outer clothing by the door, then trudged upstairs and curled into the fresh smelling sheets.
But it took her a long time to fall asleep, punishment she guessed—maybe from his God.
* * *
Brady was so aggrieved by his behavior he got even more nauseous on the drive home, so much so, he had to swerve over to the side of the road. As if he gave himself permission, he bolted out of the car and wretched on the grass. On his knees, he thought, This is what sin feels like. He’d tried hard not to sin, but he had. Tonight. Catholics differentiated between mortal and venial sin, but to him, there was only one kind—the sin of hurting others through actions or neglect.
Finally, he managed to stand and shakily went back to the car. He felt like shit. He shouldn’t be driving. He could hurt someone else.
He stopped as soon as he came upon the Dannerville Inn. He’d ask God for a vacancy, but he knew God didn’t do those kinds of things, and he was Adam-and-Eve shamed by what he’d done. So, he avoided God, parked the car and practically stumbled inside.
“Hi, I’m unexpectedly in need of a room for the night.”
“We have one available,” the elderly man behind the desk said. “You look a little peaked. Should I bring up some tea.”
“Maybe a bottle of seltzer. But I’ll wait for it.”
When he finally reached the room, he failed to take in its charm. Instead, he sat on the bed and drank the seltzer, then used the toothbrush in the bathroom and cleaned up some. Taking off his sweater and slacks, he climbed into bed.
And for the first time since he could remember, he didn’t say nightly prayers. Maybe that was why he thought of Lynne long into the night.