Blake and I arranged to meet at the Coach House barn at five. His four-wheel drive is parked out the front, but there’s still no sign of him. I lean down low to brush Merrylegs’ stomach. ‘Last night, Blake and I danced at the Oldfields’ party,’ I tell her. ‘I like him. I like him a lot.’
She blinks. Sighs.
‘On the downside, I blabbed about stuff to Farquhar.’ I stroke under the pony’s thick mane, follow the vein that runs down her throat. ‘Even smiley Nate couldn’t hide how disappointed he was. Now he’s got to assume that Farquhar knows Nate’s team is onto him. Even worse, that could spook the criminals Farquhar might be associated with.’
Blake’s footsteps are light but sure. I look up.
He half-smiles. ‘Prim.’
‘W … were you eavesdropping?’
‘Smiley Nate?’ He leans against the half-door and crosses his arms. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong.’
‘I hope not.’
He strokes Merrylegs’ neck, pats her firmly. ‘How is she?’
‘Pretty good today.’
‘Have dinner with me?’
‘I promised Jock I’d look after the girls, but I’ll be done by eight. We could eat late.’
‘You’ll be at the hotel? I’ll get there as soon as I can.’ He looks at his phone, then frowns. ‘My mother’s been admitted to a clinic. My father is calling at seven.’
I lean over the half-door, stand on my toes, press my cheek against his. ‘W …what’s happened?’
He attempts a shrug. ‘They’re trying a new medication.’
‘This is what your father was afraid of. It’s … why he wanted you to go to London, isn’t it?’ When Blake puts his hands at the top of the door, I put my hands either side. ‘He wanted to give your mother … something to look forward to.’
Blake nods stiffly. ‘He said that on the call.’
‘The last day your parents were here … why did you argue with your father?’
‘In his view, I threw away my vocation.’
‘Three exams and two placements? Is that … what you’d need to complete your studies in medicine?’
His eyes are shadowed. ‘He believes I should go back to it.’
‘You can’t forgive your parents, I understand that. But … what your mother is going through …’ I take his hand. ‘Virginia might need help for all kinds of reasons, but how she treated you, her feelings of loss, weigh heavily on her.’
He swears under his breath. ‘I have to be in Kenya in a week.’
‘You can go to London first. You have to.’
‘I want to stay here.’
I smile bravely. ‘You’re always saying you won’t rush me. I won’t rush you either. I can wait.’
‘Fuck.’
‘Dr … Sinclair.’ I press my hand against his mouth. ‘You swear too much.’
He lifts my hand, kisses my fingers. ‘I’ll see you at the hotel.’
I’m sitting with Thomasina and Lacie, eating at their regular table near the fireplace, when Serena, wearing a pink dress and holding a frothy pink cocktail, crosses the floor and joins us.
‘Is that chocolate sauce on your ice cream?’ she asks the girls. ‘How delicious.’
‘You’ve got strawberry sauce,’ Thomasina says.
‘I certainly have.’ Serena holds up her glass and winks at the barman, Robbie.
‘Prim can’t have dessert because she hasn’t had her dinner yet,’ Lacie says.
My stomach rumbles as I glance at my watch. Seven forty-five and still no sign of Blake. Thomasina turns a dog-eared page of my childhood copy of Winnie-the-Pooh.
‘Daddy said I can be Tigger because tigers are always busy like me.’
‘Piglet lives in a tree.’ Lacie says. ‘I love him best.’
‘Prim.’ Serena lowers her voice. ‘You and Blake. I’ve heard a rumour.’
‘He should be here … soon.’
‘You don’t want to hear the rumour?’
The girls carefully turn the pages in the same way I would have done at their age. ‘I don’t …w …’ I shake my head. ‘No.’
‘Honestly, Prim.’ She sighs dramatically. ‘You’re far too nice, which was exactly what I said to Blake when he told me to back off.’
‘Oh.’
‘He said it a few times, actually.’
‘Serena, I don’t think—’
‘A girl can dream, right? But a guy like him? I’d be kidding myself to think we’d last more than a month.’
‘You’re great at your job. You’re intelligent and gorgeous.’
‘You’re giving him reasons to date me?’ She laughs as she raises her glass. ‘One, don’t change for him. Two, don’t give him your heart.’
I’m not sure what she sees on my face. Pain. I don’t want to lose him. Uncertainty. I don’t know what he wants.
An English country garden with neatly clipped hedges? The Highlands of Scotland with moors and mists and heather? Greygreen gums, bright sunny skies, dark-haired children, narrow dusty roads?
‘Prim?’ Lacie tugs my shirt. ‘You like Pooh best, don’t you?’
I gather my thoughts. ‘I like Eeyore too.’
‘Blake likes Christopher Robin,’ Thomasina says.
Serena lifts her glass. ‘Speaking of Blake …’
Blake holds the door open for an elderly couple, politely standing aside as they walk to a table near the door. His hair is pushed back. He’s unshaven.
Thomasina sees him too. ‘Blake is here!’
‘We’ll say goodnight to Blake on the way to bed,’ I tell the girls.
‘We get to sleep upstairs!’
‘Can you read us Winnie-the-Pooh in bed?’ Lacie asks.
‘I’d love to.’
‘We have to say goodnight to Daddy first.’
One after the other, the girls slip from their chairs, run to the bar, scramble onto stools and launch themselves at Jock. They’re swinging from his arms when he calls out, ‘I’ll help you tuck these rascals in!’
I’m waiting by the table, Winnie-the-Pooh tucked safely under my arm, when Kevin, one of the old-timers, takes a small tin of peppermints out of the pocket of his jacket. He flips the lid and, after Thomasina and Lacie take a peppermint each, he pretends to give chase. Laughing and dodging, the girls run to their father.
‘Enough!’ Jock laughs. ‘Bedtime!’
Lacie darts around Jock and takes her father’s hand. Holding out his other hand, Jock turns to—
Thomasina’s hands are at her throat. She’s clawing at her throat.
Shouts. Screams. Echoes from far, far away.
Blake pushes through the crowd.
Call an ambulance.
Clear the floor.
Quiet!
Eager to please, desperate to please, we carry out his instructions. Blake kneels behind Thomasina, supporting her chest with an arm around her front. He puts the heel of his hand between her shoulder blades and pushes—one, two, three, four, five.
Silence.
She can’t cough or gag or talk. No air from her nose or mouth. Not in, not out.
Supporting her back, Blake puts his hand around Thomasina’s front and presses under her breastbone. Five thrusts, checking between them to see if anything is dislodged.
Silence.
She can’t breathe. Her lips are blue. Her face is white.
I’m crouching next to Blake. Jock, standing in front of the bar, cradles Lacie. Tables, chairs and horrified onlookers form a semicircle around us.
‘Prim.’ Blake speaks quietly. ‘Get my keys out of my pocket. Give them to Robbie. My car is in the carpark. Tell him to get the silver case out of the boot.’
I do as Blake asks. People call out suggestions.
‘Hit her harder!’
‘Hang her upside down!’
Serena is behind the bar. Her phone, on speaker, sits between two copper beer taps wet with condensation.
‘Ambulance! The Ballimore Hotel.’
‘What’s the problem?’
‘A child. She can’t breathe.’
‘On its way.’
‘How long will it take?’
‘I’ll let you know.’
‘She can’t breathe!’
Blake continues to work in fives, alternating pressure on Thomasina’s back and her front. How much time has passed? A minute? A minute and a half?
The blue in Thomasina’s lips has leeched into her face. She’s floppy like a ragdoll.
‘Blake?’ Jock’s face is perfectly white. ‘Can’t you do more?’
‘Not yet.’
Serena shouts, ‘They won’t be here for twenty minutes!’
Just for an instant, Blake closes his eyes. ‘Jock?’
‘Yes!’
‘Thomasina’s airway is blocked. There’s no oxygen getting into her lungs, which impacts her heart and other organs. Respiratory arrest leads to cardiac arrest. I can do CPR to keep her keep her heart going but that won’t be enough.’
Robbie slides Blake’s bag across the floor. ‘Here you go, doc.’
‘I can do a needle cricothyroidotomy,’ Blake says. ‘It’s like a tracheostomy, where a hole is created in the windpipe, but given Thomasina’s size, using a needle will be less likely to cause harm.’
‘The hole will be smaller.’ My voice is a croak.
‘Do anything,’ Jock says. ‘Please save her.’
‘Prim?’ Blake says, still calm. ‘Open the inside layer of my case. First compartment, bottom left.’ As Blake lists items, I take them out. Finally, ‘An endotracheal tube.’
‘A what?’
‘Semi-rigid tube. Second compartment, third from the right.’
As I line up supplies, including different gauge needles, syringes, the tube, gloves, wipes and pads, Blake adjusts Thomasina’s position. ‘One more time, sweetheart.’ Leaning her over his arm, he pushes hard against her back. One, two, three, four—
A choke rips through her body. Then she’s coughing, wheezing, gasping, crying. Blake tips her further forward, puts a hooked finger into her mouth and scoops out the peppermint.
Thomasina sobs and hiccoughs, sucks in breaths and gasps them out.
‘Good girl.’ Blake keeps her close. He rubs her back. ‘Good girl.’
‘She’s breathing.’ Jock repeats the words like a prayer. ‘She’s breathing.’ Lacie, face wet with tears, turns in Jock’s arms.
Blake wipes Thomasina’s nose and mouth with pads. ‘Can you hear me, Thomasina? When you’re ready, I’d like you to say something.’
Our eyes meet over Thomasina’s head. Her skin is white, and she’s breathing, but the lack of oxygen could have caused—
‘It hurts here,’ she says, as her hand goes to her throat. Her voice quivers. ‘I’ve got tonsillitis.’
Blake smiles in relief. Then, ‘Your throat might be grazed and bruised. Have you ever fallen and scraped your knee? The pain you feel now is like that.’
‘It hurts.’
‘It won’t be as sore tomorrow.’
‘Prim said you went for a ride on Bonny so I can ride Bonny and I want to do it tomorrow.’
A half-smile. ‘Your tummy, Thomasina? Does that hurt?’
Lacie, taking a seat on the floor next to her sister, watches closely as Thomasina digs both hands into her stomach. ‘A tiny bit.’ She sniffs. ‘My nose is runny.’
‘Jock?’ Blake says. ‘Can you bring Thomasina a drink?’
‘Yes!’ Jock hastily wipes away tears and, putting shaking hands on his daughter’s shoulders, leans down and kisses her head. ‘My poor wee lass.’
‘Why are you sad, Daddy?’
‘I was frightened.’ Blake is still on the floor with Thomasina, but Jock pumps his hand. ‘Thank you from the bottom of my heart.’
‘We get lemonade if we’re sick,’ Lacie says hopefully. ‘Can Thomasina have lemonade?’
Thomasina’s eyes light up. ‘Can Lacie have it too?’
Blake shakes his head. ‘Water will be better.’
The volume of voices increases. When Thomasina looks over her shoulder, Blake turns her around to face him again.
‘More big breaths, Thomasina.’ He turns to me. ‘Jock, Lacie and Serena can stay. Robbie should get the others out and wait for the ambulance.’
It clearly hurts her throat, but Thomasina drinks to please Blake and Jock. Then, as Lacie continues to watch, Blake checks her over. By the time the paramedics arrive, the girls are sitting side by side at their favourite table by the fireplace. Robbie puts an arm around Serena’s shoulders.
‘Bring a bottle.’
‘What’s going on here?’ Dan, the senior paramedic, says to the girls. ‘There are two of you? That’s not what I signed up for.’
The other paramedic, Brooke, says, ‘I thought I was seeing double.’
Lacie smiles shyly. ‘I’m not sick.’
Dan takes Thomasina’s pulse and listens to her heart.
‘That’s what Blake did,’ Thomasina says.
‘Has he got a stethoscope?’ Dan hangs his around Thomasina’s neck.
‘Yes! His is for real life lions.’
‘Is that right?’ Dan winks at Blake. ‘What’s a good heart rate for a lion?’
‘Resting? Forty-two to seventy-six bpm.’
‘What did you get for our little princess?’
‘Sixty-five.’
‘Same here.’ He turns to Lacie. ‘Is your sister a lion?’
‘She’s a tiger.’
‘Let’s see if she can roar.’
When Thomasina opens her mouth, Dan uses a tongue depressor to examine her throat. ‘No obvious damage to the lining or airway,’ he says. He feels around her neck. ‘No swelling.’
Jock, still shaking but not as violently as before, nods gratefully. ‘Blake came to the same conclusion.’
Brooke wraps a blood pressure band around Thomasina’s arm. ‘Did Blake do this too?’
‘He had to get it back from the monkeys!’
‘What?’
‘The baby monkey stole it and ran away!’
Brooke laughs. ‘How did you get it back?’ she asks Blake.
He smiles. ‘Perseverance.’
‘For a vet,’ Dan says, ‘you didn’t do too bad.’
To his grandfather, humans were just another species. Is that something else he learnt in the Highlands?
‘We had no idea he had training.’ Jock shakes his head. ‘He never said a word.’
Dan glances towards Blake’s case. ‘You’ve got a lot of gear.’
‘I’m an anaesthetist.’
‘I’ve never done a tracheostomy let alone a needle cricothyroidotomy,’ Dan says. ‘Have you?’
Blake hesitates. ‘Once or twice.’