Chapter 28

After swishing the fruity liquid around in her cup, Samantha drank the last of her Diet Coke. A smile touched her lips: she was on a date, with Nik. It tickled her that he was her date tonight. She’d tried not to overdress for the occasion and was wearing a yellow summer dress with spaghetti straps.

“What are you thinking about?” Nik asked. He was sitting across from her at a table so small it was basically a glorified stool.

Shaking her head, Samantha smiled at him. “Nothing in particular. Just how happy I am to get out and be with you.”

Warmth lit his hazel eyes, and the vampire reached across the table to hold her hand. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

And she really was. The sun hadn’t even set yet when Nik drove her into the city. They’d had dinner at an Indian restaurant. Samantha had asked for the hottest spices with her order and was glad she hadn’t worn mascara since her eyes watered through the entire meal. But the food had been delicious.

Then, Nik had driven them to a club to dance. Samantha was starting to hold a special place in her heart for the combination of Latin and techno music they danced to. But something was off with her date. Nik acted the perfect gentleman and was incredibly attentive, but Samantha noted a tightness around his eyes the entire night. And his skin looked pasty as they danced.

“I need a rest,” she said, knowing he’d keep going until she was done dancing.

Now, they were sipping drinks in a local café. The place was not large, and a long line of customers kept it loud and busy.

Suddenly Nik stood and glanced around. “We should probably go and free this table for others.” His face wasn’t as pale as when they’d danced, but there was still a tightness to it.

Samantha hopped up, and Nik took her cup and tossed it in the garbage. She wasn’t certain, but it looked like his fingers were shaking. Returning to her side, he put his hand at the small of her back to guide her out the door.

The night air was hot and muggy on Samantha’s bare shoulders, the feeling reminiscent of summer nights in Florida. She missed Florida; she’d grown up there, but she knew that returning wouldn’t bring back the fond memories. Her friends had moved on with their lives, and her mother couldn’t come back from the dead. Plus, nothing was the same now that she was wrapped up in both vampire and immortal politics.

As they stepped outside, Samantha went around the crowd to where it wasn’t so loud.

“Where are you going?” Nik gently tugged on her arm. “The car is the other way,” he explained.

Crossing her arms, she glared up at him. “Tell me honestly. You’re starting to lose your grip on The Hunger, aren’t you?”

The usual, impassive expression he showed to everyone else locked into place. “I’m fine, Samantha.”

Samantha reached up and stroked his cheek. “I can see that you’re not. You’re pale and shaking. How much longer before you lose control and go on a murderous rampage?”

His hand came up to cover her own. “This isn’t your problem.”

Huffing, she lowered her arm and leaned against the side of the building. “Clearly, you should have fed days ago. Why are you pushing it off?”

Instead of answering, Nik’s jaw clenched, the muscles on either side twitching. As she gazed up at him, she could see the tenderness shining in his eyes, and the shame.

“It’s because of me.” Her head felt almost dizzy as she thought it through. “You’ve become ashamed of yourself because of me.”

Sighing, he brushed a hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t have said ‘ashamed.’ You really don’t need to worry about this, Samantha.”

She shook her head. “How can I not worry?” Samantha straightened and grabbed his arm. “I always knew what you are, and what you’ve done. I know that there’s so much more to you than being a vampire. I lo—“ Her voice cracked. Heat flooded her face when she realized she’d almost said love. “I like you in spite of those things. I know that you need to drink blood. I’m not going to judge you for it.”

Challenge emanated from his eyes. “Really? Because when I feed, I kill people. Can you honestly say that you condone that?”

Samantha was shocked at the strong emotion he showed. “You think I’ll judge you?” She swallowed, uncertain of what to say. No, she didn’t want to condone murder, but she knew Nik would lose control of The Hunger really soon. That is worse than the death of one individual. “Yes, I understand what you have to do to survive, Nik. I really do.” She sighed. “You need to feed. Right now.” She pointed to the west. “I’m sure you could find someone down that way who maybe deserves death.”

He glanced to where she pointed. “That is a bad part of town.” He nodded. “See how the street lights are mostly broken?” He glanced back down at her, frustration lacing his tone. “Just because it’s a seedy area doesn’t mean you can suddenly justify murder, Sam.”

The words felt like a slap in the face. “You think I don’t know what it means for people to die?” Her voice was shaking but she couldn’t keep it under control. “I foresaw my own mother’s death, and then was the one who found her when she really did die.” She blinked back tears. “I’m fully aware of what you’re going to do. But I’m also very aware of what will happen if you don’t feed.” She gripped his hand. “Nik, we’re being hunted. You have to stay strong. And you absolutely cannot allow The Hunger to take over. Otherwise, you may not be there to save me if they find us.”

The tick in his jaw told her that Nik was grinding his teeth. “I don’t think you really understand what you’re asking.”

“I do.” She put as much conviction as she could muster behind her words. “You need to feed. End of conversation.”

Glaring venomously at her, Nik sounded angrier than she’d ever heard. “Just like that? End of the conversation? What exactly do you want me to do, Sam?”

Blowing out a shaky breath, Samantha put her hand on his arm. “Just listen. Maybe you can hear a crime in progress and eat the bad guy.”

Snorting, the vampire leaned back, his face hard. “This is not a superhero movie! I would be committing murder.”

Samantha put all of the pleading she had in her expression. “What could it hurt to just listen and see?”

Body taut, he nodded grimly.

Samantha waited while the vampire stood before her. Nik stared at her as he listened, and Samantha was struck at how intense his gaze could be.

“There are a few prostitutes turning tricks a couple blocks over. Two drug deals, and one fist fight.” He glared into her eyes. “The choice is yours: which of them deserves to die?” His tone was bitter and mocking.

Samantha swallowed. Now that she’d pressed him, he was forcing her to be part of this. Her throat felt swollen as she forced an answer. “Uh, the world could definitely stand to be rid of one more drug dealer.”

“Fine.” He grabbed her arm firmly and walked in that direction. She didn’t know he could get this angry.

Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed him so hard. She shook her head at herself. The vampire was suppressing his needs because she somehow made him ashamed. She had to show him that she could be with him and not judge.

They only went a block down a sloped street when Nik turned left. Tension boiled in her stomach with every step they took. A car was driving away, leaving a scruffy-looking Latino man in the shadows of a rundown building. He was putting something into his back pocket. Samantha could only assume that the drug deal had barely finished.

Thirty feet away, Nik stopped and turned to her. “You want me to feed? Look at that man. Are you saying you can look at him and still tell me to kill him? You think you can stand by while I drink his blood and not see me in a different light?”

The drug dealer looked harmless. He was probably about the same height as her and he was slim of build. When she started to take note of the scruff growing on his jaw and how long his hair was, she couldn’t watch him anymore. She faced Nik instead, studied his sickly complexion that was becoming mottled with his rage. She knew he showed her more emotion than anyone else, but she knew that what she saw now was probably had more to do with exhaustion and malaise. Nik’s eyes held the barest hint of dark shadows.

“You need to feed.” Her eyes misted. “I can’t stand the thought of you starving because of me.” She sniffed. “I know there’s more to you than being a killer I know you better than anyone else. Just because you drink blood doesn’t mean I’ll stop feeling that way.”

A bitter laugh escaped, and Nik’s features twisted in what she could only identify as anguish. “I’ll drink that man’s blood. You can watch. Then tell me you can handle being around vampires.” He grabbed her shoulders. “Around me.”

The steel in his eyes scared her, but she knew that’s what he wanted. He was trying to push her away because he didn’t think she could accept this side of him. Forcing herself to stay calm, she nodded. “I’ll still be here when you’re finished.”

His mouth twisted and he stepped away. As he stared at her, his fists clenched and he opened his mouth to let out an angry snarl.

Nik vanished in a blur of movement, then suddenly appeared behind the drug dealer. The poor man never knew what hit him. Nik grabbed his head, clamping a hand over the man’s mouth and pulling back, exposing the Latino’s neck. Samantha winced when she saw him bite into the man’s flesh, heard the Latino’s anguished grunt. Nik fed quickly, and the man’s arms flailed less and less.

Samantha could hear suckling and small splashes of blood hitting the pavement. Her stomach threatened to purge itself of the Indian food she’d eaten earlier, and she turned away, unable to watch the life leave the man’s body. He was a drug dealer. He deserved to die! Yet she couldn’t seem to convince herself in that moment.

She turned back in time to see Nik raise his head to the dark sky as he released the body. Even at his distance, she could see his body thrumming with energy. His back was straight and he was no longer shaking. After wiping the blood from his chin with his shirt sleeve, the vampire looked at her. It was as if he dared her to hate him now.

Swallowing down bile, Samantha forced a tremulous smile. “I’m still here.” She said it softly, but knew he’d hear.

Once again, the vampire turned into a blur and was before her in an instant. Nik’s eyes were a strange mixture of challenge and fierceness as he pulled her body into his as he leaned forward for a kiss. Unlike the tender ones they’d shared in the past, this was carnal. His tongue pushed its way into her mouth and Samantha could barely taste his natural flavor under the metallic taint of blood.

Sensations warred within her. The taste of blood was sickening, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about Nik’s blood lust turning into a different kind of lust. But she’d also never been kissed so passionately and had already told him that she accepted him for who he was. If I push him away now, would he see it as rejection?

“Papi!”

As if splashed by cold water, the two sprang apart. Samantha was gasping from the intensity of the kiss, but her mind felt numb from what she heard.

Crying. A little boy was sobbing over the fallen drug dealer. He was probably around eleven or twelve, looking every bit as unkempt as his deceased father.

“No,” she murmured. “No, this can’t be.” Her legs gave way and she dropped painfully to the pavement.

Watching the boy, Nik pulled her upright. “We need to leave,” he whispered.

The agonized cries echoed through the night as Nik steered her back to the car. The illness she’d felt earlier was replaced with a cold sense of shock. She moved woodenly, and if Nik hadn’t been there to steer, she didn’t think she’d be able to walk at all.

“What did we just do?” she murmured through stiff lips. “I told you to kill that man. We just took away that boy’s father.”

Looking exasperated, Nik snapped. “What did you expect, Sam? That only the good guys have kids? You of all people should know that’s not true.”

Images of her mother covered in blood pounded through her mind. Samantha struggled to breathe, but forced herself to keep going. She couldn’t lose it in front of Nik. It would only prove his point, and she had to show him that she still saw the good in him.

When they reached their car, he opened the passenger door and Samantha slid in. She could see the wet blood on his sleeve as he closed the door. Nik climbed into the driver’s side and pulled the vehicle out onto the street. They rode in silence for several minutes. Samantha was able to get her breathing under control, but felt practically claustrophobic in the confined space with Nik.

“Are you going to be okay?” Nik asked.

“Yeah, I guess I’m just processing.” Squeezing her eyes shut, the image of the boy with his wretched grief popped into play. “I’m more naïve about this stuff than I thought.”

“Rinwa was right,” he murmured.

Opening her eyes, she glanced his way, suddenly back in the moment and alert. “Right about what?”

He didn’t respond right away. When he did, Samantha wished he hadn’t. “We can’t be together, Sam. The fact that I’m a vampire is too destructive. I’ll slowly strip you of your humanity. I’ll take away the very spirit that I adore so much about you.”

“No!” The protest came out forcefully. Samantha hoped it covered the hurt she deeply felt. Her fingers shook at the thought of losing Nik. “I’m fine, Nik. Like I said, I’m just processing. But really, I’m okay. I’m Leisha’s human servant, for crying out loud! If you break up with me, I’ll still be surrounded by the macabre!”

“It’s not the same,” he growled. “And you know it just as well as I do.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out. He was right—it wasn’t the same. But that doesn’t mean it’s over, right? What about love conquering all and everything that goes with it? Samantha chewed on her lower lip as she thought about it. If she wanted to be with Nik, she’d be sacrificing a part of herself. Was it worth it? Could she accept being with someone who took lives so easily? She thought she could, but after seeing everything tonight, her resolve was shattered.

After pulling into the gravel driveway, the vampire cut the engine. “Go on inside,” he ordered. “I’ll be in before the sun comes up.”

Biting her lip, she hesitated. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

He shook his head. “No. I’ll stay until we’re sure the vampires and your dad can’t find you.”

Nodding stiffly, she opened her mouth, but couldn’t think of what to say. Tears were threatening to spill as Samantha got out and quickly walked into the house. She blew out a shaky sigh when she observed that the others were already in bed.

She went directly to the bathroom, locked the door, and sat on the toilet. She quietly sobbed, hoping that Nik would change his mind. But she’d seen the look on his face when he said they couldn’t be together.