MARA PULLED IN behind James’s Jeep in the driveway of the little lake house. Like so many homes that were built before the engineers dammed the Slippery Rock River to create the lake, it didn’t look like the waterfront homes she’d seen on either coast or even in Chicago. The front porch, which faced the street, was wide, with a porch swing to one side and a larger area behind it for eating. The peaked roof hinted at a second story, and the front door was painted a vibrant green that matched the shutters bracketing the windows. He didn’t keep plants or other decorations on the porch, but a red, white and blue flowered wreath hung on the door.
Probably his mother’s doing. From what Mara remembered, Anna Calhoun was the type to decorate for each season and holiday.
Even without the flowers, the place was inviting. A large maple provided shade, and rosebushes marched in straight lines along the sides of the house.
“Are we getting out or are we going to sit here?” Gran asked, and Mara realized she’d been staring at the house for too long.
“Going in. If you and Amanda can get the bags, I’ll deal with Zeke and all his stuff.”
Amanda sighed from the back seat, where she’d been pointedly ignoring Zeke for most of the ride into town. Mara had noticed she’d fallen into Zeke’s usual game of dropsy, though, and she thought she caught the hint of a smile from her sister a time or two.
Mara tossed the keys in the oversize tote and unbuckled Zeke from his seat while Amanda and Gran grabbed bags of chips and bottles of lemonade and soda from the cargo area. James met them at the front door, looking a little too comfortable in cargo shorts, a navy T-shirt and flip-flops. Mara didn’t think she’d ever seen him wearing anything on his feet but his department-issue boots or sneakers. She loved seeing him looking casual. And she was staring.
Pull it together, Mara.
She slipped past him into the living room. The dark mahogany floors gleamed. He had leather furniture facing a television in the corner and framed pictures of his family on the walls. On the fireplace mantel were pictures of him with the guys in their high school football uniforms.
Zeke wiggled in her arms, and she put him down to explore.
“What can we do to prep?” she asked.
“Everything’s ready. Just waiting for the rest of the crew to get here.”
“Rest of the crew?”
“I figured since Savannah was coming with Collin, it made sense to invite Levi and their parents, too. And my parents stopped by Bud’s this afternoon.”
“Oh. Your parents. Okay.” A cold feeling filled Mara’s stomach. She liked James’s mother, but his father...made her nervous. As if he was just waiting for her to make a single misstep so that he could throw her in jail. Or maybe run her out of town.
“It’ll be fine.” James assured her, but his words only made her feel more unsteady. He put a hand at her lower back, and the unsteady feeling tripled as heat spread from the point of contact.
Not the time, Mar. Pull it together, already.
“Of course,” she said, pushing as much happy energy as she could into her voice.
He reached out his free hand, and Zeke took it so that the three of them walked into the kitchen at the same time. She could see Amanda through the kitchen window, putting earbuds in her ears and settling into a reclining lawn chair. Gran grinned at them as she put bottles of soda in the fridge.
“Don’t you three look just perfect together?”
Mara didn’t need a mirror to know how they’d look. James was tall and tanned with brown hair. She was tall but not tanned with blond hair. Zeke was short and chunky as babies should be, with the brown hair from James but eyes that definitely came from her side of the family tree. Like the perfect combination of the two of them. Together they would look like a family. She had to remind herself that they weren’t a family in the traditional sense.
She stepped away from James, needing the physical reminder that they would never be that family. Not having his hand at the small of her back seemed like a good first step.
“Gran, I’ll do that. Why don’t you go relax on the deck with Amanda?”
“Nonsense,” she said, putting the last of the soda in the fridge. “We can all go out to enjoy the afternoon.”
With nothing else to do, Mara followed them outside.
Chairs were set up along the deck and around a circular fire pit in the middle of the backyard, which ended at the shoreline. A couple of paddleboats and a canoe were upended on the thin ribbon of sand, and Zeke headed straight for them. Mara caught up with him just before his little feet hit the beach. He tried to wiggle away from her, but she held firm.
“Not until we get a life jacket on you,” she said.
“No-no-no,” he said, still struggling against her hold.
“Hey, he said that clearly,” James said behind them. He held a neon-green life vest. “Good job, little man.” He ran his hand over Zeke’s hair, and the boy stilled.
“No-no-no,” he repeated.
Mara shook her head. “It figures no would be one of his first clear and repeated words.” She turned the boy so James could get the jacket on him, then set him on his feet to explore the sandy area between the yard and the lake. “You have a beautiful home,” she said.
James looked around as if seeing it for the first time. “I like it,” he said. “It beats living in an apartment or, worse, the trailer park on the other side of town.”
“You could always live with your parents,” she suggested, keeping her eyes focused on Zeke.
“No, thank you. As much as I love them, I like having my own place.” He stood beside her, his shoulder nearly touching hers. The noncontact made the hair on her arms stand on end. It was weird. “You ever wish you had a place of your own?”
Sometimes. Not that she wanted to get into that. “I like moving around.” It wasn’t a lie, not exactly.
James nodded but didn’t say anything else. “You mind if I take the kid out in a paddleboat?”
“Guard him with your life.”
She watched as James flipped over the paddle boat and pushed it out into the water. Then he returned to the sand and held his hands out for Zeke. The little boy went willingly into his arms, and Mara wasn’t sure if she should feel glad that Zeke was so accepting of James or scared because he was going to be in the middle of the lake and she wouldn’t be with him. Or jealous because, until this trip, she’d been the center of Zeke’s life, and now he had her, a father, an uncle, an aunt and a great-grandmother.
“Nice image,” Collin said beside her, startling her.
Mara put her hand to her heart. “Don’t do that,” she said, slapping at his arm. “I swear, for a guy as large as you are, you walk like you’re a mouse.” She spotted Savannah on the deck with Gran and Amanda. Levi exited the house, followed by his parents, Bennett and Mama Hazel. The two men made Collin look positively small, even from this distance. Gran hugged Mama Hazel, and the two of them sat at the table under an umbrella.
“The whole gang’s here.”
“Not all of us. Adam isn’t coming, and Aiden hasn’t been back to Slippery Rock for almost as long as you.”
“I just saw Adam at The Good Cuppa the other day.”
Collin shrugged. “Jenny called earlier, said they were spending the holiday at home.”
That was odd. Adam always liked a party, at least from what Mara could remember. But then, a lot had changed in Slippery Rock since she’d been gone, not the least of which were the injuries that had put him temporarily in a wheelchair.
Giggling sounded from the lake, and she turned her attention to the paddleboat and the man and boy in it. Zeke dragged his fingers through the water as James worked the bicycle-like pedals. The boat seemed to be going in circles rather than a straight line, probably because James was the only one pedaling.
“I meant to tell you, Savannah reintroduced herself to me the other day. She’s a good fit for you.”
“Yeah?” Collin had that goofy grin on his face again, the one he usually had whenever Savannah was mentioned.
“Yeah. Are you two considering...?” She watched Zeke try to get one of his legs over the side of the paddleboat. James had a hold on the life jacket strap, keeping him in the boat and, God, that really shouldn’t have sent a stab of longing through her. It really shouldn’t. He was just a man. A solidly built, handsome man, but just a man.
“Marriage?” Collin shrugged. “Maybe. Someday. We’re not in a hurry. You and James?”
“We already have a kid, thanks.”
Collin was quiet for a long moment, as if considering his next words. Not good. He had a tendency to say things that made her think too hard when he chose his words this carefully.
“I meant considering the future. Like what happens when your job with Mallard’s finishes up.”
Exactly what she had been trying not to consider. Mara didn’t know what happened when the job was over. Normally she would pack her things and head for the next town, the next job. Nothing about this situation was normal, though. For the first time since she’d brought Zeke home from the hospital, she had no other jobs lined up. Didn’t have a nanny to care for him while she worked. Didn’t have the slightest semblance of a plan.
She needed a plan—one that didn’t involve these messy feelings she was having for James.
“Like staying together for the kid?” She wanted to pull those words back as soon as she said them, but they were out, and there was nothing she could do about that. “We aren’t staying together because of Zeke. He deserves better than that.” For the first time, she wasn’t sure if the he in the sentence was Zeke or James. Either way, it sent a swarm of bees jostling into her belly. “I think I’ll go check on Gran. James seems to have the paddleboat trip under control.”
She walked slowly toward the deck and said hello to the Walters family but didn’t stay. Instead she went inside. The picture on the mantel was from the state football championship. Levi, James, Collin, Adam and Aiden stood in a semicircle, sweat on their faces, grinning like fools. They’d just won. Levi, Collin and the twins had cemented their scholarship offers, and a day or so later James would sign to play for a college in the northern part of the state. The five of them looked so young in the picture, so excited about the future.
Now Adam was in a wheelchair and Aiden was in California. An injury had ended Levi’s career early. Collin had eventually turned down the scholarship to the larger school that could have landed him in the NFL with Levi in favor of a smaller school where he was able to come home on the weekends to work with Granddad.
And James...
He’d taken the big scholarship, gotten his law enforcement degree and come back to Slippery Rock. The way he’d always said he would. He had a pretty little house on the lake, and in another few weeks he would begin his run for sheriff. Just as he’d always dreamed.
She’d thrown a wrench into his plans; she knew that despite the happy look on his face while paddleboating with their son. The question now was, how big a wrench?
* * *
HIS YARD WAS filled with people. James watched Savannah and Collin walk along the shore. His parents sat with Bennett, Mama Hazel and Gladys on the deck. Mara and Amanda were playing in the sand with Zeke.
“You put on a nice party,” Levi said from behind him.
“How are the kabobs holding up?”
“My dad just finished the last of them. You’re out of luck if you were thinking about having another.”
James patted his stomach. “Nothing is going to fit in here except a beer. You want?” He grabbed two longnecks from the cooler on the corner of the deck, then sat in a free chair. Levi joined him. It was nearly eight, and the sun still hung above the trees, but soon the lightning bugs would be out, flitting around the backyard. He shut down the grill; everyone had had their fill of food, and sat in groups, either on the deck or closer to the beach. Then the fireworks would begin lighting up the night sky.
“So, you and Mara.”
The question caught him off guard. Which was silly, considering this was Levi. He’d never been one to beat around the bush. When he wanted to know something, he asked.
“I should’ve caught on at darts that night when you wouldn’t shut up about her staying at the B and B instead of the orchard.”
“She’s at the orchard now, if you’re keeping score.”
“Surprised she isn’t staying here.” Levi took a long drink, his Adam’s apple sliding up and down his throat. “So you and the kid can get better acquainted.”
The idea of Mara moving into his home sent a funny feeling ping-ponging through his belly. Seeing her every morning, every night...it was almost too familiar. Like all those weekends they’d met up in one city or another. Only then there hadn’t been a child involved. A child he was quickly falling in love with. A child she would take with her when she left. And there was no question that she would leave.
There was nothing to hold her in Slippery Rock.
He wanted to find something that would hold her here, but if her family hadn’t been enough pre-Zeke, then they wouldn’t be enough now.
“We’re taking it slow,” he said finally.
“Smart move. Less trauma for the kid. He’s cute.”
James couldn’t hold back the grin. “Yeah, he is.”
“Looks like her, which is good for you.”
“Ass.”
Levi shrugged, but his brown eyes danced with laughter. “We could use a hand getting the last of the debris from the old church off the lot, if you’ve got the time. The day care that rented the building has plans to rebuild in the same location.”
“I could take a day away from the sheriff’s office.” He’d been putting in so much double duty, the commissioners would probably like him to take a day off. “It’d be nice to have more of the town functional for Founder’s Weekend at the end of the month. A lot of people come to town.”
Levi nodded. “Parade and food trucks tend to bring them in. Once the debris is cleared, the construction crew can start on a foundation and the actual building.”
“I’ll be there by ten.”
“What do you think about making tomorrow night a darts night?”
“It’d put a nice cap on the day, shooting darts with the three of you after all that sweaty work.”
“I was thinking Savannah and Jenny and Mara, too. Might make things easier for Adam.”
It might. And if it gave him more time with Mara, James was all for it. “You have a girl you’re going to drop on us?”
“No,” he said, and the word was hard. Levi finished his beer and stood. “I’m going to head out before the fireworks. See you in the morning.”
James picked up the empty beer bottles. Levi strode across the lawn and disappeared around the side of the house. Collin and Savannah met James at the deck.
“We’re going to head out before the fireworks,” Collin said. It was as if there was an echo in the yard. “Early morning tomorrow.”
Yeah, James would just bet the two of them were leaving to go to sleep. “I’ll see you at the day care—Levi said you could use another pair of hands.”
“Always can.”
“He also said darts are on, with the ladies, for tomorrow night. We need to get Adam back into the swing of things.”
“I’m in.”
“Girls at darts? Interrupting such a manly pastime,” Savannah teased. “Thanks for dinner, James.” Savannah pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “You guys sure Adam will be okay with all of us at guys’ night?”
James wasn’t sure about that at all, but he also knew that Savannah wouldn’t want to hurt Adam’s feelings or make him uncomfortable.
“Are you coming to play?” he asked.
Savannah shook her head, and her long braids swung against her shoulders. “I don’t dart, but I’ll happily cheer you guys on.”
“Then Adam won’t mind.”
Collin and Savannah said their goodbyes, and as the sun began to sink below the trees along the shore, James realized the older guests were clearing the deck table and putting away chairs.
“Thanks for dinner, James,” Bennett said, raising his hand in a wave. “We’re going to watch the fireworks from the marina.”
“You can see them just fine from here.”
“Bud’s making homemade ice cream,” his mother said. “Thank you for inviting us. The baby is—” she paused “—just perfect.”
“We’ll save you some seats,” Mama Hazel said, and waved before she and Bennett walked away.
James had no reply to that. Mara and Amanda brought Zeke to the deck. The little boy laid his head on Mara’s shoulder and, with his index finger, twirled a long strand of her hair.
“Let me get this sweet boy home,” Gladys said, taking him from Mara. “Amanda, would you grab his diaper bag for me?”
“The fireworks haven’t even started,” the girl protested.
Gladys shot her a look, and Amanda picked up the bag beside the sliding glass door. “We’ll take the SUV,” she said, and when Mara started to say something, she talked right over her. “You’ll bring Mara out after the big show, James. Zeke will be fast asleep before we hit the city limits sign, and there’s no need for all of us to miss the fun.”
“Exactly,” James’s father joined in, and James shook his head to make sure he was hearing everything correctly. “It was a nice evening, but I’m sure there are things the two of you need to talk about without a toddler interrupting.”
James looked at Mara, who seemed just as confused as he. James’s parents hurried around the side of the house, following Bennett and Mama Hazel’s path from a few moments before. Only he and Mara, Gladys, Amanda and Zeke were left on the deck.
“Gran, I’ll drive,” Mara began, and Gladys shook her head.
“I know how to drive, and you haven’t had a fun night out since you came to town. Stay. Watch the fireworks. As much sun and sand and food as Zeke’s had today, he’ll sleep the night through.”
James didn’t say anything at the obvious manipulation. The idea of spending some time with Mara alone was appealing. They did have things to talk about, and it would be simpler to talk without Zeke or his parents or her family around to overhear.
Mara looked at him, and James shrugged. She blew out a breath. Gran patted her cheek with her free hand.
“We’ll see you in the morning. Good night, James,” she said, and started around the corner of the house. Amanda slung the diaper bag over her shoulder and mumbled something James couldn’t hear. When Mara hurried after them, he did, feeling a little silly that they were all making the trek to the front yard. Gladys was capable of driving, and so was Amanda. And Zeke was obviously nearly out for the night.
At the SUV, Gladys buckled the little boy into his seat. Zeke’s eyes were heavy, and his hand reached for the plush puppy strapped to the side of the seat. Once behind the wheel, Gladys fastened her seat belt and waited for Amanda to do the same.
“You two have a nice evening,” she said to Mara, then rolled up the window before backing down the driveway.
Mara watched as the SUV disappeared down the street. “I think my son has been kidnapped.”
“Our son. And I think that would technically be babysitter’s interference, since that is your grandmother behind the wheel and you’re staying at her house while you’re here.”
“Is that really a thing? Babysitter’s interference?”
“No.” James shook his head. “Mostly because parents don’t usually balk at a grandmother babysitting for a couple of hours.” He brushed his hand against her elbow. “And we could use the time to talk.”
Mara glanced at the road, but the taillights of the SUV had disappeared. She followed him into the backyard. James pointed to one of the reclining lawn chairs, grabbed two bottles of water from the cooler and sat in the chair beside her. He’d have liked another beer, but he wanted to be sober for this conversation.
“I’m helping the crew clean up at the day care tomorrow. So that they can start on the new building next week.”
“Collin mentioned that.”
“After, we’re meeting at the Slope. Wednesday night darts, but on Friday.” The sun sank farther behind the trees, cooling the air nicely. A light breeze blew through the oak trees along his property line. Not too much longer and the fireworks would start. “You should come. With me.” Why did he feel like he was seventeen again with those five little words?
That first weekend in Jefferson City, things had flowed naturally from surprise at seeing her to a quick drink that led to dinner, then to her hotel room.
Asking her to darts shouldn’t have been a bigger deal than that night, but somehow it was. He took a long drink of water, but the liquid did nothing to calm the fire in his throat.
“Do you really think that is a smart idea? You know how the gossip mill works.”
“Maybe I don’t care how it works.”
Mara fiddled with the label on her bottle, tearing one corner free, then gently working the rest of it off in one long sheet. “We can’t do this.”
“Play darts?”
“Fall into old patterns.”
“We’ve never played darts before.”
She turned to look at him, her blue eyes dark in the evening light. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do.” He just didn’t care. He knew he should have cared. Two days ago he’d cared. Hell, earlier this morning he’d cared what people would think once the word got around about him and Mara. About Zeke. Somewhere between his conversation with his parents at Bud’s and tonight with all their friends and family around, he’d stopped caring. He wanted to spend time with Zeke, definitely. But more than that, he wanted to be with her. “We aren’t kids, Mara. What other people think of us doesn’t matter. Not compared to what we know about the situation we’re in.”
“And what situation is that?”
He reached for her hand, rubbing his thumb across the smooth skin of her wrist. “We had clandestine weekends for three years. We have a son. We’re now in the same town at the same time, and neither of us is attached to anyone else.”
“You want to have an affair? In Slippery Rock?” Her jaw dropped. “That is not responsible. I’m leaving in—”
“And I’m not leaving. We both know where we stand.”
“James.” She shook her head. “That would be crazy.”
“Maybe it’s time I did something a little bit crazy.”
“You don’t do anything crazy.”
“I did once.” He wasn’t proud of what he’d done on graduation night, but he’d paid his penance for it.
“And look what happened,” she said.
“I sent anonymous checks to the school transportation fund. You left town.”
“Because if I wasn’t here, they would never think to ask you questions. Plausible deniability.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t have to. I was leaving anyway. I just moved up the timetable. Wait, did you say you sent anonymous checks?”
“Of course. The school borrowed money to get the buses back into service quickly. I sent donations every quarter to pay them back.”
Mara blinked at him. “When Cannon hired me, I got a signing bonus and sent the whole thing to the school. For the transportation fund.” She laughed. “I should have known you would find a responsible way to right the situation.”
She’d not only left town to take the spotlight off him but also repaid his debt. “I didn’t ask you to do that, either.”
“What else was I going to do? If I’d dropped the whole senior prank thing, like my brother and the others tried to get me to do, you would never have gone with me. You wouldn’t have gotten caught up in the moment.”
“It wasn’t your fault. Letting the air out of the tires was my idea. I wanted to do something crazy, just one crazy thing, before I lost my chance.”
Mara linked her fingers with his. “See what impulsive gets you? You’re the responsible one. I’m the impulsive one. Those are our roles. Meeting you guys at darts would be...switching roles. That didn’t end so well last time.”
“You think it was responsible to walk away in Nashville,” he said.
“Of course.”
“You switched the roles in Nashville. I’m switching them here.”
A loud boom sounded in the distance, and the first firework lit up the sky in a shower of green and purple sparkles.
He’d convinced himself it was the responsible thing to do, letting her walk away in Nashville. Now, he could see that had been a rash, impulsive move. Made out of hurt and anger at her. James didn’t like to make the same mistakes twice, but this time it was he who would switch the roles, and he wasn’t doing it out of fear.
He was doing it because he couldn’t imagine not being this close to Mara without being physically close to her, as well.
Another boom sounded, and the sky over the lake was lit brilliant white. Her blue eyes were worried, and there was a cute little line between her brows.
“I know you’re leaving. You know I’m staying. What’s the harm if we spend some time together before that happens?”
* * *
THE HARM WAS that she was already finding it hard to keep their roles separate, and they’d barely spent any time alone. There was Zeke to consider. There was her family to consider. There was James’s future as the sheriff to consider.
For the first time in her life, Mara wanted to consider all the options. To weigh every potential consequence before acting. If she’d done that in Jefferson City or any other place they’d met before Nashville, things would be so different between them.
“The harm is to Zeke. The harm is to your career. What happens when people start to talk about us? This is small-town America, James, where people still salute the flag and go to church on Sundays and attend every parade. No one is going to elect a sheriff with ties to a criminal.”
“You’re no criminal.”
“Not to you. Not to my family. But you know as well as I do that there are more CarlaAnns in Slippery Rock than there are Gladys Tylers or Mama Hazels. People like CarlaAnn are vindictive, and they have long memories. I can’t be the reason you don’t get elected.”
“Wow, that’s a little insulting.”
“It’s the truth.” Another boom sounded, startling her. James watched her expression in the flashes of light, and she hoped he couldn’t see through her bravado. Yes, she was worried about his career. More than that, she was worried about what it meant that she wanted to say yes. She wanted to say yes now more than any other time in her life.
“If the people in town are stupid enough to not elect me because of pranks from our high school days, I don’t want to be their sheriff.” His gut twisted as he said the words. He wanted to be sheriff—he wanted it for himself—but he wanted to get the position honestly, and hiding Mara or Zeke felt wrong. “We have a kid. We also have chemistry together, and I’m not saying this at all the right way, but as long as the town is going to talk, why shouldn’t we give them something real to talk about?”
Mara sighed. “Sweet words, Calhoun. You’re a real sweet talker.”
“Well, as long as I’m on a roll, I’ll say this. I like being with you. I like talking to you, and I like having sex with you. I don’t plan on having that sex when Zeke is in the same room, so x him out of the equation. I don’t plan on having sex with you in the middle of the courthouse square, either, or in the farmers’ market or in the middle of the lake. People are going to talk one way or the other, so while the fireworks show is finishing up, why don’t you think about how you’d like to spend the time you’re in town? You want to spend it thinking about all the things we could be doing with one another or actually doing those things? Worrying about the people who are talking about you, about us, or telling them to screw off because you have your own life to live?”
He released her hand, but didn’t leave the chair beside her. He was close enough that she could feel his heat, and it seemed hotter than usual. Maybe because of the annoyed speech he’d just made.
Mara folded her hands in her lap and tried to focus on the display lighting the night sky. The blues and greens and purples and whites all blended into a kaleidoscope that hid the stars. It was beautiful.
James might be right that people would gossip no matter what the two of them were doing, but that didn’t mean she had to fall right into bed with him. She needed to be responsible here.
She needed...
God, she needed him. Or she wanted him. Mara couldn’t be sure which was the stronger emotion, and she thought maybe it didn’t matter. James was right about the chemistry thing; the two of them had that working in their favor.
She tapped her foot against the grass. Chemistry was not responsible.
Paying her bills, that was responsible. Repaying the school, responsible. Walking away from him in Nashville had been fear-based but also responsible. She hadn’t been ready for the feelings she felt for him. Hadn’t been certain what, if anything, he felt for her. She had still been hiding from the feelings of abandonment by her parents.
The Mara she was today resulted because she had walked away from him in Nashville. She’d been responsible.
A series of booms sounded, signaling the end of the fireworks display.
Mara swallowed.
She didn’t want him to drive her to the orchard, not just yet. It was selfish, but she wanted to stay here, sitting with him on the back lawn, watching the lake. She wanted to pretend, just for a little while, that this was where she belonged.