Embrace the change in your life.
-Author Unknown
After spending Sunday afternoon hashing and rehashing the pros and cons of taking Mark up on his offer with Daniel, Zach, and Lisa over lunch at Olive Garden, Karma was still waffling about what to do.
While Lisa had clung fast to her previous sentiments, insisting Karma throw caution to the wind and go for it, Daniel had taken a more philosophical approach.
“What do you want to do, Karma?” he had asked. “What does your gut tell you?”
At the time, she hadn’t been able to answer, but his question had simmered on her mind all night.
Ultimately, what she wanted was a relationship like Daniel had with Zach. They were the quintessential happily married couple, totally devoted to one another. Once, Karma had asked Daniel why he had moved to Indianapolis instead of insisting Zach move to Chicago, which seemed like a better place to live for a gay couple. Daniel had said, “Love makes you do crazy things, Karma. Zach wants to live here, and I love him, so here is where I belong.”
That’s what she wanted. A man who was as crazy about her as Daniel was about Zach, and vice versa. For now, though, she just wanted more Mark. More of those wicked kisses and hushed whispers. More butterflies in her stomach. More fun. And her gut told her Mark was the perfect man to bring her out of her shell and show her that kind of fun. The kind that got a little sexy, a little sweaty, and all kinds of exciting.
Now, here it was Monday morning, and she was still struggling with her decision as she sifted through her closet, looking for something special to wear.
As he hadpromised in Chicago, Daniel had taken her shopping yesterday after lunch to liven up her wardrobe and had seemed thoroughly impressed she hadn’t cowered at the prospect...and thrilled when she had picked out a classy, colorful outfit all on her own.
“This Mark fellow seems to be having a positive effect on you,” Daniel had said as she paired a peach, floral print blouse with cropped skinny jeans and light brown gladiator sandals.
She had brushed off his comment with a breezy, “Maybe I just think it’s time I add some color to my wardrobe, like you said.”
“Whatever you say, honey.” Daniel had fallen in step behind her, adding the top and jeans to the growing pile of clothes they had gathered for her to try on.
Karma touched the sleeve of the blouse, which now hung in her closet, along with a few hundred dollars of new clothes and shoes. She had even bought two necklaces and several new scarves, which Daniel had, of course, shown her how to tie and wear.
Today’s importance loomed front and center in Karma’s mind. Mark would return today, and he would expect an answer.
She had weighed all her options, and in some ways, she was no closer to having an answer now than she had been Friday night, but in others, she was already with him, whatever “with him” entailed. One thing she did know, though, was that she wanted to look nice today, but not too nice. Not like she was trying to catch his attention, and yet, that’s exactly what she wanted.
She ended up dressing in cream-colored slacks, a pale-pink, scoop-necked blouse that tapered at her waist, and nude sandals with a wedged heel. She wrapped a long, gauzy, dark pink and cream scarf around her neck so that the ends hung down her front, and, for a change, she left her hair down and put on makeup.
When she got to work, Nancy hardly recognized her as she passed the reception desk.
“May I help you?—Karma? Is that you?” Nancy gaped as she took in Karma’s new attire. “I thought you were a guest. My goodness, don’t you look different. And so pretty. Did you get your hair done?”
Karma giggled, feeling almost as scandalous as she had in Chicago. “Yes, last weekend.” She lifted a hand to her hair. “Daniel sort of gave me a makeover.”
“That boy sure knows how to make a woman beautiful, doesn’t he?” Nancy winked. She knew Daniel from all the times he’d come by for lunch. “Trying to catch Mark’s eye, are we?” Nancy gave her a coy look.
“Oh…no.” Karma’s face heated as she vehemently shook her head. “No, no. Just, uh…updating my look. This is all Daniel, believe me. Well, I’ve gotta run.” She hurried toward the stairs and up to her desk, afraid Nancy would see right through her. Nancy was second only to Jolene when it came to office gossip.
Mark arrived a few minutes past ten and strolled around the corner down the hall wearing tan dress pants and a black, V-neck sweater. Damn. Just, dayum! He looked good in black.
Karma suddenly loved Monday mornings.
“Good morning, Karma,” he said with a purr of innuendo.
“Good morning.” She busied her hands with a pad of Post-It Notes.
Mark paused at her desk. “What an alluring color on you.”
“Thank you,” she said, playing along. “It’s new.”
“Of course it is.” He smiled then stepped away from her counter. “I’m running late for a call.” He pointed toward the conference room. “Would you mind grabbing me a cup of coffee?” He leaned in conspiratorially. “One sugar, please.”
He certainly was in a good mood this morning, and asking her to get his coffee felt like code for him wanting to speak to her privately.
She scurried around the corner to the coffee station, poured him a mug, and grabbed a sugar packet and a stir stick. Wearing an eager grin, she practically floated to the conference room. Getting him coffee was becoming one of her favorite tasks, even though she’d only done so a few times.
She gently rapped her knuckles on the door as she entered.
He sat back and gestured for her to set his coffee down next to his tablet. “Thank you.” He took the sugar packet and flicked it against his fingers. “And how are you this morning?”
She forced herself not to stare at his chest, outlined like a second skin by the thin cashmere. “Good. And you?”
“Good.” He dipped his chin thoughtfully, watching her as he poured the sugar in his coffee. An uncomfortable, somewhat awkward silence followed. Then he looked past her, out the conference room door. “Are you busy tonight?” He spoke quietly as he met her gaze again.
“No.” She whispered the single syllable on an exhale, feeling a hiccup of exhilaration rush through her.
He slid his hand inside his bag, which sat on the table beside him, and pulled out a nondescript, plain envelope. As he handed it to her, he said, “Open this when no one’s around.”
Karma tucked it against her stomach, feeling like they were plotting a coup. “Okay.”
He smiled and nodded toward his mug. “Thanks again for the coffee. We’ll talk later.” He lifted the phone receiver, politely dismissing her.
With the envelope burning holes in her hand, she took her leave. Once back at her desk, hidden by the high counter, she glanced around and unfastened the small metal clasp. Inside was another envelope marked Personal and Highly Confidential. This was like a treasure hunt or a game. She looked around again to make sure she was still alone before pulling the second envelope out of the first.
For Your Eyes Only, Karma was written in impeccable penmanship on the other side of the envelope, just below the flap. She almost giggled. She had the feeling Mark intentionally meant to play James Bond with his secret package.
Biting her bottom lip, she slid her finger under the flap and snapped the adhesive closure, then pulled out a folded, handwritten note on light blue, monogrammed stationery:
Dear Miss Mason,
Care to take a “journey” with me? I’ll pick you up at 6:00 sharp tonight.
-M
P.S. I would be delighted to see you in those black shoes you bought on Friday.
His cell number was written in meticulous numerals along the bottom of the note with a request to RSVP her acceptance.
Take a “journey” with him? What was with the quotes? She looked back inside the envelope and saw a concert ticket. When she pulled it out, she giggled. The rock band, Journey, was playing at Deer Creek Music Center tonight. The show started at seven o’clock.
Her heart fluttered.
She grabbed her phone from her purse and typed out a text. Yes. I’ll take a “journey” with you.
As soon as she hit send, she looked into the conference room.
Mark was still on his call, but his attention momentarily diverted toward his cell phone. He lifted it from the table, smiled, and then began typing with one thumb. Then he set his phone down. A second later, her phone pinged in her hand.
You honor me. Get ready for an adventure, Miss Mason.
An adventure? Now they had gone from a journey to an adventure? Karma’s curiosity rose. He sure was going to flattering lengths to obtain her answer.
* * *
Karma thought five o’clock would never come.
After rushing home, she hurried up the stairs to her apartment, freshened up, then stood in her underwear, staring at the racks of clothes in her closet, completely lost over what to wear. She had all these new clothes and still felt out of her depth.
Deer Creek was an outdoor music center, which meant she could go casual if she wanted, but this was Mark she was talking about. And tonight was special, so she wanted to look nice.
She slipped into a new pair of dark denim trousers with flared legs, tugged on a lightly fitted, dark grey graphic tee Daniel had insisted she buy, wrapped a white scarf around her neck, and stepped into the peep-toe black pumps Mark had suggested she wear. Staring at her reflection in the full-length mirror, she conceded that she looked pretty damn good. Who would have thought she could put together an outfit like this? Heels with denim and a T-shirt? She actually looked chic.
At six o’clock sharp, Mark arrived with a firm knock.
She grabbed her purse and jacket then pulled open the door.
Oh. My. God.
He looked incredible. And here she thought he wore suits well. In a pair of dark blue, low-slung jeans and a navy Henley, Mark looked…well…sizzling.
“Hi.” She felt her face heat, which it always did around him.
“Hi.” He grinned and gave her the once-over, his gaze briefly falling to her feet as if he wanted to ensure she’d done as he asked. “You’re a vision.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly, lowering her head and pulling in her shoulders.
“Are you ready?” He didn’t seem to notice her sudden shyness.
She hung her jacket over her arm. “Yes.”
“You’ve got your ticket?”
“In my purse.” She glanced at her shoulder bag as she stepped into the outer hall and locked the door behind her.
“Have you eaten?” He followed her downstairs.
She shook her head. “I didn’t have time.”
“Me neither. I had to run a quick errand before coming over. You up for drive-thru?” He offered her an apologetic glance as he opened the car’s passenger door. “Normally, I would take you someplace nice, but if I do that, we’ll miss the concert.”
“Drive-thru is fine.” She knew they were on a timetable.
After zipping through a KFC for a pair of grilled chicken sandwiches and coleslaw, they ate on the way to the music center and arrived with twenty minutes to spare.
“What a great night.” Mark helped her out of the car.
“It’s perfect.” The sun still hadn’t set, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and while there was the hint of a chill in the air, it was warm enough she didn’t have to put on her jacket.
Mark opened the trunk and pulled out a folded blanket. A price label was still stuck to the corner.
“Errand after work, huh?” She pulled off the sticker.
He smiled and shrugged. “Lawn seating,” he said. “Everything else was sold out, but the lawn sounded more interesting, anyway.”
She looked at her shoes with their three-inch heels.
When she peered back up at him, he seemed to be contemplating her shoes, too. “If I have to, I’ll carry you.”
She laughed. She couldn’t help herself. The look on Mark’s face was priceless. A mix of guilt and playfulness. He laughed with her, and she loved how, for just a few moments, his guard completely fell. His whole face laughed, not just his mouth. Cute crinkles broke at the outer corners of his eyes, and his perfectly straight teeth gleamed.
“I like you like this.” She took the blanket from him.
He lifted a bag filled with bottles of water from the trunk.
“As opposed to…?” He slammed the lid shut and nodded toward the gate.
They turned and weaved their way around the other cars. “I don’t know.” She shrugged and spoke over her shoulder as he came up behind her. “You’re usually so—”
“Charming? Debonair?”
She laughed. “Well, that too, but I was going to say mysterious and professional.”
“Professional?” He said doubtfully, his tone more serious. “You make me sound so boring.”
“Trust me, Mark, you’re anything but boring.” No way in a hundred lifetimes could Mark ever be boring.
She scanned the lawn seating filling quickly with concertgoers.
“Where do you want to sit?” He pointed to an open area in the back. “How about there?”
She wasn’t sure how crowded the place would get by the time Journey actually took the stage. Right now, with the opening act performing, people were still milling around and settling in. “Sure. That looks good.”
He took her hand and helped her up the slight incline of the lawn then set down the bag and took the blanket. After spreading it out, he sat down.
She settled in beside him.
She hadn’t been here in years, but it still felt the same. There was something magical about this place. She didn’t know if it was the fact that Deer Creek sat in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but cornfields surrounding it, or if it was because it was an outdoor venue, or if some other unexplainable force made the place so appealing, but Deer Creek was an almost mystical location.
“I haven’t been here in years,” she said, hugging her knees as she lifted her face toward the sun.
“Bring back memories?”
She smiled. “Maybe a little, but it’s more than that.”
“Like what?”
She turned toward him. “I don’t know. It’s just…different here. Relaxing.” She recalled the last time she came here and grinned privately.
“What?” Mark elbowed her impishly. “Tell me.”
She took a deep breath and bit her bottom lip. “The last time I came here was with a guy I didn’t even like. At least not before that night.”
Mark’s eyes softened, but he watched her with the attention of a hawk eyeing a field mouse, hanging on every word.
“I was working at this little luggage store between my sophomore and junior years at Purdue, and this guy came in. He was nothing special and was kind of annoying, because I was trying to close out the register for the night. He kept asking me for my number.” She rolled her eyes. “I gave it to him just to get him out of the store so I could close up, hoping he wouldn’t call.”
“But he did,” Mark said.
She nodded. “Wouldn’t you know?” She chuckled. “He asked me to come here and see Dave Matthews with him.”
“He had good taste.”
Karma bowed her head and cringed as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “I never liked Dave Matthews.”
“What?” Mark slumped his shoulders and dropped his head back. “How could you not like Dave Matthews? That’s like saying you hate…oh, I don’t know…homemade chocolate chip cookies. And who in their right mind hates homemade cookies?”
She held up her hand. “Hey, I was young and ignorant, okay? But…” she pointed her index finger. “By the end of the night, I was a convert.”
His face softened again, and he scooted a little closer. “Why? What happened?”
She sighed wistfully. “I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I came here, not liking the guy—his name was Louis. I didn’t like Dave Matthews. But by the end of the concert, everything changed. I saw Louis differently…attractive, you know? And maybe seeing Dave Matthews live was what I needed to like his music. Now, whenever I hear him on the radio or wherever, it makes my heart warm.”
She melted a little from the way Mark smiled just then, as if he knew how special he was to have heard her story. Not many knew about that night.
“What happened to Louis?”
Her gaze dropped to the blanket, and she picked at imaginary lint. “He was only in town for a couple of weeks, doing some kind of training for his job. We went out a couple more times, but that was it. We stayed in touch for a few months and tried to get together again but never did.” She had forgotten all about Louis until just now. Funny how certain places or images can bring back fond, long-forgotten memories.
But what had happened with Louis was the story of her life. The guys she met from around here only wanted to be her friend. But the one guy she had liked—who had liked her back and who she might have had a decent chance with—had ended up living five states away.
Mark wrapped his arms around his knees. “Damn. That would have been the perfect story if you two had ended up getting married.”
Considering that for a moment, she nodded. “True, but then I wouldn’t…” She drifted off and swallowed hard. She still wasn’t entirely sure what was going on here. Between them.
“Yes?” He looked at her, his grey-green eyes glinting in the sunlight.
She held his gaze. “If he and I had gotten married, I wouldn’t…” She looked away, the heat rising in her face as it always did when she was around him, and she shivered. Not from a chill in the air, but from nerves. “I wouldn’t be here. Now.” She cleared her throat. “With you.” It was as far as she had gone to put herself out there since the night they had met.
He scooted closer, and his arm rubbed her back as he propped himself up and leaned in. Her fingers twisted together around her knees, and she kept her gaze averted as another shiver tensed her arms and made her teeth chatter.
“Are you cold?” His voice came from beside her ear, only inches away.
She shook her head and turned toward the sunlight. “No.”
“And yet you’re shivering.”
“I’m not cold.” Her mind raced and her thoughts ricocheted inside her brain like balls in a Ping-Pong tournament.
The muscles in her arms clenched. She was so nervous, but so excited. Goose bumps tickled up and down the skin on her back, legs, and arms. Her heart felt like it would beat out of her chest. When she spoke, her voice trembled. “Do you want my answer? Is that why you brought me—”
“Sshh.” He placed his fingers lightly against her lips. “Later. You can tell me later.” Mark nudged her ear with his nose, and his lips pressed gently against her neck.
That simple kiss sent a shockwave through her body, and it felt like the bottom fell out of her stomach.
“Thank you for telling me your story,” he whispered. Then he slowly pulled away and settled beside her again.
Karma swallowed and glanced toward the stage where the opening act was finishing their set. But she couldn’t focus. Her mind was scrambled, her body on high alert.
Taking a deep breath, the balance tipped inside her mind. She wanted this. She wanted what Mark offered. She wanted more kisses on her cheek, her neck…her lips. She wanted more dates like this one. More secretive James Bond notes passed covertly in the office. But more than anything, she wanted Mark to seduce her. She had never been seduced, and Mark seemed eager to do just that. And if being seduced was anything like what she had endured for the past week—especially the last twelve hours—Mark proved to be an exhilarating ride.
Karma was ready to leave the past where it belonged. In the past. She was sick and tired of being a “friend”…and of allowing her anguished childhood to dictate her present and her future. For the first time, with Mark, she felt she might have a chance to reset her course in life. One free of insecurity and inexperience. One where she could be who she truly wanted.
She turned toward the sunset, feeling something she hadn’t felt in a long time.
Hope.