Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
-Author Unknown
Tuesday night, Karma sat on her couch, finishing a plate of homemade lasagna. The TV was turned to some random movie she was neither interested in nor paying attention to. She simply wanted noise to drown out the barrage of voices that echoed through her head. So many questions, so much confusion. And no answers.
Mark had left the office with Don at ten o’clock this morning to attend two off-site meetings and a client business dinner. She hadn’t heard from him all day, and now that they had entered into what felt like a covert affair, she was antsy to see him.
At eight thirty, her phone dinged with a text. Snatching it from the coffee table, her heart skipped. The message was from Mark.
Are you busy?
She typed out her response. No.
Less than thirty seconds later, her phone chimed again. Can I come over?
Her mind screamed, Yes! God yes! Instead, she typed, Sure.
She stared at the blank screen, biting her lip, eyes wide. Something about the fact that he was texting her gave her a perverse thrill.
She actually jumped when her phone dinged again.
Be there in fifteen.
She hopped up, quickly cleaned her dishes, put away the leftover lasagna, rushed to check her hair, took a few deep breaths, and returned to the living room.
A few minutes later, he arrived with a quiet knock.
Butterflies took flight, angels sang, and rainbows and unicorns danced around her heart.
“Hi,” she said, holding the door open.
“Hi.” He had changed into loose jeans and a faded-blue T-shirt, and he held a small, gift-wrapped box in his hands.
She waved him in and gestured toward the couch. “I wasn’t sure I would hear from you tonight.”
“I would have called sooner, but dinner ran late, and I wanted to pick something up before coming over.” He held out the box as he settled into the couch.
“What’s this?” He was already buying her gifts? She had never received a gift from a man before.
“Just a little something I thought might be fun to help us get to know one another.” His devilish smile told her this wasn’t just any ordinary gift. “Go ahead, open it.”
“Is this going to embarrass me?” She removed the bow on top.
“I guarantee it.”
“Oh God.” She hid her face in her hand, making him laugh.
“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad.”
She ripped off the paper, pulled out a four by five box, and read the front. Cosmo’s Truth or Dare: Our Naughtiest Game Ever! Dumbfounded and speechless, her mouth flapped open, closed, and then opened again as she lifted her gaze to Mark’s. Was he serious?
“Here, let me open that for you.” Mark took the box from her and lifted the side, which closed magnetically. The top opened like a book, and inside was a deck of cards.
“What exactly did you have planned tonight?” She gulped and eyed the cards as if they were scary intruders. It didn’t take a genius to figure out by the cover of the box that this was a game for two consenting adults. And, yes, while she had agreed to move forward with Mark, consenting to whatever the dare portion of this game likely entailed wasn’t what she had in mind this soon in their relationship…or whatever this was between them.
Mark thumbed through the deck—there had to be at least two hundred cards—then set them on the coffee table.
“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on daring you to do anything. I just thought we could go through some of the truths and learn a little more about one another, and maybe have a little fun and a few laughs.”
“Why do I get the feeling you just want to make me as uncomfortable as possible?” She had felt the color drain from her face the moment she read the game’s title.
“That’s precisely why I bought the game.”
“Huh?” Was Mark sadistic?
“What I mean is that, sometimes it takes uncomfortable circumstances for us to find ourselves. The more uncomfortable the better if change is what you want.” He took her hand. “And I think you want change, or you wouldn’t have worn that brooch today. Am I right?”
He made a good point. “Well…yes.”
“Trust me. I just want to get to know you. That’s all. So I can take better care of you.” He searched her eyes for understanding.
She liked his choice of words. So I can take better care of you. How many women could say that the men in their lives held such attitudes?
“Okay,” she said, feeling her nerves ease.
He let go of her hand and sat back. “So let’s just play Truth or Truth with our game. No dares tonight.” He nodded toward the cards on the table. “Just pick up a card, and ask me the question. I’ll answer then do the same. How’s that sound?”
Karma took a deep breath and eyed the cards. “Okay. But if I die from embarrassment, tell my family I loved them.”
His deep, throaty laughter tickled her ears. She loved his laugh.
“I promise,” he said, crossing his heart. “Now, go on. Take a card and ask me a question.”
She picked up the top card. Just reading the question to herself made her face burn.
“Okay,” she said, sighing, “Do you like your hair pulled during sex?” She couldn’t even read it aloud with a straight face, let alone make eye contact.
“Hmm, I guess that depends on the situation, but yes, generally speaking, I like when a woman pulls my hair during sex.”
Curious now, Karma looked up. “Really? Why?” She figured it would hurt if someone pulled her hair, whether during sex or otherwise.
He shrugged, and his left eyebrow shot up. “I guess I like it because it shows me the woman is really enjoying herself. That she’s completely lost to her passion.” He paused. “I take it you’ve never had your hair pulled like that.” It wasn’t a question.
Karma briskly shook her head and set the card down like it was a hot potato. “No.”
“Didn’t think so.” Mark reached for the deck and pulled off the next card. A crooked grin spread over his mouth as he read the question. “Who was the first person you ever kissed? Was it good or bad?”
Well, that wasn’t too bad. A question like that wasn’t likely to send her into a queasy fit. She reluctantly told him about kissing Tony in high school and how she froze up, which made him laugh.
“Okay then, how about the second guy you kissed?”
“Hey, that’s two questions.”
He crossed his hands in his lap. “Just getting to you know you.”
“Fine, play by your rules.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “The second guy I kissed was named Brian, and…” She cringed. “That kiss was kind of bad, too.”
“How so?”
Of course Mark would want specifics.
“He and I were both…um…virgins, and I kind of froze up with him, too. Just like with Tony.”
“How did you and Brian meet?”
“At a movie theater where we both worked during senior year. Brian attended a different school than I did, but we got to be pretty good friends at work.”
“Did you end up having sex with Brian?” Mark’s eyes never wavered from hers.
Flames shot through Karma’s face and down her neck, and she dropped her gaze to her hands, which rested in her lap. “Yes. Eventually.”
“Was it good?”
She shook her head. “Not really.”
“Tell me about it.”
She knew what Mark was trying to do. He was trying to get her to open up and become more comfortable talking about this kind of thing—trying to enforce change. But right now, this had to be the most awkward, difficult conversation she’d ever had. Even worse than the time she got called to the principal’s office in junior high for calling a classmate who was bullying her a skanky bitch. Not her finest hour.
She lifted her gaze to his and found warmth and safety staring back. Mark really did have her best intentions at heart, and he clearly wanted their time together—as little as they had—to mean something and make a difference.
She gathered the courage and moved forward. “Brian and I were virgins. We met at work.” Each sentence felt labored, but as she forced herself to continue, it grew easier. “He was an usher, and I worked in the concession stand. After work, we often hung out together, and now that I think about it, he probably liked me more than I liked him.” Brian had been a nice boy, and, at the time, she had felt like he was as good a guy as any to lose her virginity to. Now she wished she hadn’t, but at the time, all she wanted was to get her first time over with in hopes it would make her feel more grown-up and help put her past behind her.
As she relayed the story, the memories of that night six years ago rushed into her mind, and they felt just as fresh, just as raw.
Brian’s mom had been out for the evening, and he had stolen a condom from her bedside table before rushing back into the living room where Karma waited for him, half naked, on the floor.
He began to put on the condom, and then, “Damn it!”
“What?” Karma frowned as Brian scampered bare-assed out of the living room and down the hall toward his mom’s room again. The only light came from the TV, which was fine by her. The less light, the better.
“Condom broke,” he called back.
Karma sat up in the shadow-strewn room and straightened her work shirt, which smelled like buttered popcorn, then pulled her jeans over her lap, waiting for him to return. The only way she could do this was if she could keep on some of her clothes. No one had seen her naked before. Brian didn’t seem to mind her shyness, though. Then again, he was an eighteen-year-old virgin, too. He was probably just happy he was finally getting laid.
She tucked her long, mousy brown hair behind her ears and looked around. Some B-rate monster flick was on TV, and the smell of two-hour-old pizza wafted from the open box on the nearby coffee table. This wasn’t how Karma imagined she would lose her virginity. On a hard living room floor, which was covered with carpet that looked like dirt and felt like fuzzy tree bark, but at least tomorrow she could wake up and know she had finally done it.
She eyed the afghan tossed over the back of the couch. A blanket was a good idea. This carpet didn’t exactly look sanitary on her bare bottom. She pulled the afghan to the floor and spread it out, sitting back down and covering up with her jeans again just as Brian returned from his mom’s bedroom. He held two more condoms in his hand.
“Just in case I break another one,” he said breathlessly, dropping to the floor in front of her as he tore one open.
Unlike her, Brian was naked, and his erection strained toward her. It looked a little too big to fit.
She gulped and took a nervous breath as he put the condom on.
“There,” he said with a smile and wiped his hand on the blanket. “Did it right this time.” He laughed nervously. “I tried to put the last one on backward.”
“Oh, okay.” Karma nibbled her lip. She hadn’t known there was a right or wrong way to put on a condom, but now that she thought about it, it made sense. “So…now what?”
Brian clumsily lurched forward and kissed her, pushing her to the floor. She bonked her head.
“Sorry,” he said, wriggling around on top of her.
“No, it’s okay. Just…” Her leg was pinned, and she worked it out from under him. “There.” She bent her knees on either side of his hips as he fumbled around, pushing against her like an excited bull charging a matador.
“Am I in the right place?” Brian grunted and shifted, and his erection bumped and pushed against her.
“I don’t know…ow!”
“Sorry.”
“That’s okay. I don’t think that’s—ow!”
What were they doing wrong?
“Here, maybe if I…” Brian reached down, grabbed his penis, and began shoving it against her private parts as if it were one of those round blocks in a children’s game and he was trying to jimmy the thing inside a square hole. “Can I move these?” He let go of his erection and tugged on her jeans, which still lay over her hips.
“Um…I don’t…” She didn’t want to lose her security blanket, but it was dark…and he wasn’t looking at her down there…and she was more concerned with keeping her top half covered than her lower half, anyway…and maybe it would be easier for him to get inside her if her jeans weren’t in the way. “Okay, sure.”
He yanked them out from between their bodies and tossed them under the coffee table.
“That’s better,” he said, taking hold of his penis again.
He pushed, he prodded, and then, with a sigh of relief, he unceremoniously found where he had been trying to go for five minutes.
“Ow!” Karma winced and dug her nails into Brian’s shoulders as he gained entry. Ow, ow, ow! Damn! Was it supposed to hurt this much? She’d read somewhere that a girl’s first time could hurt, but she hadn’t expected this kind of pain. In the movies, women usually looked like they were enjoying this, but there was nothing enjoyable about what Brian was doing to her. At all.
Brian bucked and looked like he was having a seizure as he began hammering away, and it felt like it, too. Her poor vagina. Would she even be able to walk tomorrow? God, what was he doing?
“Oh, uh-huh. Good…yes…is it good for you?” Brian was like an overly excited jackrabbit, and he spouted words in a way that sounded foreign on his tongue, as if he’d heard them in a movie—maybe the same ones she’d seen where the women actually enjoyed having sex—and thought he was supposed to say them.
Karma held on to his spasming body and tried to nod. “Yes.” It wouldn’t help to tell him the truth that this was the worst kind of pain she had ever felt, except for that time when she fell and cut her leg on a jagged rock poking out of the ground. But even that had lasted only a few seconds. This pain had gone on for almost a minute already, and it was getting worse.
Brian’s eyes were closed, so he couldn’t see the distress on Karma’s face as he continued bruising her tender flesh with his penis of death. “Yes, so good…I can’t stop…Karma…oh…oh…uh-huh…there…” Brian huffed, puffed, and made like a giant jumping bean as he pounded her fragile flesh even harder.
OOOOWWWW!
Her back and hip bones ground against the floor, and white-hot pain seared her insides. She wanted it to be over. Just hurry up already and be done. This shit hurt.
In less than two minutes from start to finish, Brian’s body began to jerk. His breathing intensified and his animalistic grunts rose on a crescendo. Then he slammed his hips into her and fell into epileptic shudders. A long, ragged exhale poured from his open mouth. Then he collapsed on top of her. Done.
Thank God.
Afterward, Karma had stared at the water spot on the ceiling, numb, with flames licking the inside of her vagina as Brian remained on top of her, gasping for air. But the pain had been a small price to pay for achieving a rite of passage.
“I’d begun to think I would never have sex,” she said, coming to the end of the story. “But there, on Brian’s living room, with Godzilla roaring from the TV and cold pizza on the coffee table, I finally did it. I lost my virginity.” When she finished, she glanced at Mark, who had grown so quiet it was almost as if he weren’t there.
“That was your first time?”
She nodded and looked down at her hands, but not before she saw a flash of emotion pass through his eyes.
“Did the two of you have sex again after that?”
“A few more times.”
“Did it get better?”
“No, not really. It didn’t hurt as much, but it was always rapid-fire fast, like he didn’t want to get caught or something.”
“And you never had an orgasm?” Mark watched her closely, as if he were taking each of her answers and building a file in his head.
“No.”
“And how many lovers have you had since Brian?”
She knew Mark already understood there hadn’t been many, and now was the moment of truth.
“I’d like to say none, but there was one more, but I don’t really count him.”
Mark’s eyes narrowed briefly, and he tilted his head slightly to one side. “Why not?”
“Because we only did it once.”
“Only once? Was that your choice or his?”
“His, but after I found out why, it was mine, too.”
Concern etched the lines of Mark’s face as he shifted on the couch. He appeared both worried and concerned, as if he wanted to know what happened but wasn’t sure he should ask.
“Richard was an ass,” she said, making the decision for him. “He only wanted one thing, and I was too gullible at the time to know that. He seduced me, and I use that term lightly, because all he wanted was sex.”
“How did you know him?”
“He was part of the crowd Daniel and I hung out with in college for a while. He got to know me, and after a couple of ‘dates’…” she made air quotes with her fingers, “we had sex.”
Mark sat forward. “Did you want to?”
“At the time, I thought I did, because, like I said, he seduced me. He told me how much he liked me, and how alike we were, and how he knew from the moment we met that I was special. Blah, blah, blah.”
Mark chuffed. “He didn’t seduce you. He lied so he could use you.” He sounded disgusted, and didn’t that just make him seem like her knight in shining armor.
“Yes, I figured that out the hard way.” Silence stretched between them for several seconds. “A few weeks later, I learned that was Richard’s MO. He moved in, targeted girls who were shy and quiet, then did his thing.”
Mark pressed his lips together and his face grew tight, but he didn’t voice whatever frustration she could tell sat on the tip of his tongue. A moment later, he said, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” she said.
“I made you think about it.”
She smiled. “I’m pretty tough. I can handle it.”
He gestured toward the cards. “If you want to stop playing, we can—”
“No, I want to continue.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.” Talking about all this was strangely freeing. She felt like she was molting, shedding old layers of herself to reveal more of the woman within.
He sighed and sat back. “Okay then, it’s your turn. Pick a card and ask me a question.”
She could tell that, at some point, Richard would come up again, even if only in passing or indirectly.
“Okay,” she said, picking up a card. She snickered when she read it. “This is a good one. What’s the most flexible sex move you can do? Tell me why it’s awesome?” She emphasized awesome even though it wasn’t emphasized on the card.
Mark burst into laughter. “What? Seriously?” He grabbed the card and read it to himself.
Karma laughed, which was a nice change from the oh-so-serious line of questioning she had just endured. And maybe channeling all that seriousness was why she and Mark both continued laughing a little too hard for several seconds.
“I can’t say that I have any flexible sex moves,” he said, flicking the card toward the table. It fluttered and spun on the air before gliding to the floor. “Unlike you, I don’t do yoga. I think I’d break something if I tried to get flexible. Ask me another,” he said. “I didn’t like that one and can’t answer it, anyway. Besides, I owe you after that last round of questioning.”
She snagged the next card on the stack. “Would you rather be lightly spanked in bed or have a feather run softly over your whole body?”
“Mmm.” Mark sank into the cushions and looked up at the ceiling. “Definitely the feather. Or maybe hair.” He turned his eyes on her. “I like a woman’s hair to glide down my chest and stomach.”
There was only one time a woman’s hair would glide down his chest and stomach, and that was if she was taking her mouth down there. So, yeah, this game had just taken an interesting turn.
“Has anyone ever used a feather on you?”
He licked his lips. “Once or twice.”
Her mind took the next logical step. “Have you ever used a feather on anyone?”
His single dimple dug into his right cheek. “Once or twice.”
“And…?”
“It can be very pleasurable,” he said. “Perhaps I’ll show you sometime.” Before she could say anything further, he grabbed the next card on the deck. “My turn.” He read it to himself first. “What’s the first thing that pops into your head when I say oral?” He lowered the card and gave her a slightly wicked smile. There was no doubt where his mind had gone.
And considering where her thoughts had just been a minute ago with the whole hair-on-his-body idea, her mind had gone there, too, because her first thought was of giving Mark a blow job. But no way was she going to say that, especially when she had never given one. There had to be a law that stated if you’d never given a blow job, you couldn’t use the term.
“Hygiene!” she said a little too forcefully.
His left eyebrow rose as he narrowed his eyes. “Why don’t I believe you?”
She shrugged and quickly picked up another card, trying to hurry ahead before he could entrap her into another long line of questioning that was sure to embarrass her. “Have you ever been aroused at work? Give me details.”
“Yes,” he said. “I have been aroused at work. Very recently in fact.” He sat forward and leveled her with a look that held enough steam to hard boil an egg. “Friday, when I suggested that you unbutton your blouse, and when you did…?” His gaze swept her face, and a wistful smile played over his mouth. “That really turned me on.”
Oh wow, okay, so…uh-huh. The game was definitely getting more interesting.
He held her gaze for a long moment then picked up the next card as he cleared his throat. His smile brightened as he read the question to himself. “I like this one,” he said. “I can’t wait to hear your answer.” He looked up, eyes twinkling. “What physical trait of mine first caught your eye?”
Way to put her on the spot. She pressed her lips together, thought about it for a second, and tried to envision him sitting beside her at the blackjack table. She had turned toward him, and a split second before she looked at his face, she saw his hands. He had rugged, sure hands. The kind that when they held you made you feel like you were really being held. She hadn’t known that at the time, but she’d found out soon enough.
“Your hands,” she said definitively.
“My hands.” He glanced at them.
“Yes. Then your eyes, then your mouth, and then your chest when we were dancing.”
A glimmer of recollection crossed his face. “Ah, yes, I remember.” He grinned, making her blush as she recalled feeling him up. “You did seem a little taken with my chest at one point.”
Looking down, she forced herself not to laugh. “I guess you caught that.”
“Mm-hm. It was cute how you reacted when I caught you, too.”
She sighed. “Okay, you can stop embarrassing me now.”
He laughed and settled into the cushions again. “Are you a chest woman?”
“A chest woman?” She frowned in confusion. “What’s a chest woman?”
“You know how some men are leg men, some are boob men, stuff like that. Are you a woman who likes men’s chests? Do they turn you on?”
“I never thought about it that way, but yes, I guess so. I also seem to notice a man’s arms and his hands, too.” She gestured toward his. “Obviously, since that was the first part of you I noticed. Hmm…chests, arms, hands, shoulders. I guess I’m more of an overall upper body kind of gal.”
“I see.” The file he was building on her sounded like it had just grown a bit more interesting, much like the conversation.
She snagged the next card before she could dork out any more than she already had then almost choked as she read the question. “Do you think toe sucking is totally hot or really gross?” She started laughing. Toe sucking? Really? Who came up with these questions?
“Totally hot, for sure,” he said without hesitation, cutting off her thoughts.
Karma’s mouth fell open. “What? Really?”
He nodded emphatically. “Oh God, yes.” He glanced down at her sneakered feet. “I’m what is called a foot man.” As evidence, he lifted hers and unlaced her sneakers without pulling them off, even though it looked as though it took all his willpower not to as he caressed her ankles. “I thought you would have figured that out already. I haven’t done a very good job hiding my interest in your feet.”
She remembered how he’d looked at them last Friday at the department store, how he’d moaned just a little, and how he’d seemed so affected when he’d told her she had beautiful feet, but the thought had never occurred to her that there were men in the world who got turned on by feet or that he was one of them. Discovering this little nugget about Mark was like finding a chunk of gold in her carpet, and his reasoning for asking her to wear the black peep-toe pumps to the concert suddenly made more sense. Finally, this game had given her something she could slip into her mental Mark file.
“You mean, if I took off my shoes right now…” She gently pushed her toe against the heel of one sneaker so that it pushed halfway off her foot. His eyes instantly flared as he dropped his gaze. “Does this distract you?” She grinned daringly as the vixen side of her personality shoved her conservative persona into the shadows.
He moaned and laid his head back, taking a heavy breath. Then he cast her a warning glance. “Yes, that distracts me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said as innocently as she could muster as she began to tuck her foot back into her shoe. “I’ll just put my shoe back on and—”
He grabbed her foot and pulled off her sneaker. “No. Don’t.” His heated gaze raked her face. “Please.” He dropped her sneaker to the floor, pulled off the other, and dropped it as well. “If you don’t mind, I’d like you to keep your shoes off.” His breathing sounded labored, as if he was forcing himself to calm down, and his eyelids drooped, giving him a sexy, drowsy appeal.
His expression lit something primitive and debased in the pit of her stomach. “My feet really turn you on that much?”
He blinked heavily, and as if he were holding a sacred gift, he lifted her right leg by the ankle, opened his legs, and nestled the sole of her foot against his crotch. He was hard. Very hard. An airy moan broke in his throat. “Yes. Your feet really turn me on that much.” He took a heavy breath and blew it out like he was trying to meditate. Then he swallowed and, holding her sole against him, leaned over and picked up a card. “Your turn.” He took a moment to compose himself then read the question. “Which do you think is hotter: sex standing against a wall or bent over a table?”
Karma had never done either, so how could she answer honestly? “I don’t know.”
“Let me guess, you have no experience with either way, right?” He still sounded sexually bent but a bit calmer.
She bit her lip and nodded.
“Does one sound more interesting than the other?”
She thought about it for a moment then shook her head. “Not really.”
Mark grinned as if making a mental note. “Well, we’ll just have to help you figure that out, won’t we?”
Gulp.
“I guess.” She grabbed the next card. It certainly was getting warm in here, especially with her foot still pressed to his erection. After reading the card to herself, this next question wasn’t going to cool things off, either. “On a scale of one to ten, how sensitive are your…uh…your nipples?” The words caught in her throat, and she coughed before reading the second half of the question. “How would you like me to…um…touch them?” She slowly lifted her gaze.
He looked like a wolf ready to devour her.
“My nipples are pretty sensitive, so I’ll say about an eight or nine.” His voice had grown deeper. “I like when a woman touches them or licks them. Or bites them.” He cleared his throat and shifted on the couch, making her foot rub down the hard length of him. “And you have sexy teeth.”
“Sexy teeth?”
He nodded. “Oh yes. Very sexy. I want you to do naughty things to me with your teeth. No drawing blood or anything like that, but…”
She felt light-headed. “No, of course not.”
“It’s just that…” He licked his lips. “I like the idea of your mouth on me, Karma.”
And she liked the idea of his on her.
Mark waited a moment before grabbing the next card from the deck. The corner of his mouth ticked upward. Oh boy, this was going to be a good one. She could just tell.
“Describe exactly what it feels like when you orgasm.”
Thud!
“Um, well…” She exhaled heavily through pursed lips, making her cheeks puff out.
Mark set down the card and casually sat back, waiting for her answer, a patient smile on his face.
“Okay, so…” Her fingers twisted in her lap. “You already know I’ve never had an orgasm during…um…sex.”
“From what you’ve told me, I assumed that was the case. But you have had an orgasm, haven’t you?”
If she said yes, she would be admitting to masturbation, and something about that felt too personal.
“Karma,” he said, his voice lilting as he rocked himself against her foot. “Do you give yourself pleasure?”
“Oh hell,” she said, huffing as she rolled her eyes. “Fine. Yes. Yes I do. God, this is so embarrassing.”
“And…what does it feel like?”
She set her jaw and slapped her hands on her thighs. “Good, okay? It feels good.”
He threw his head back and laughed so hard his whole body shook. “Fine, I’ll take that. But…” He held up his index finger as if making a point. “An orgasm you give yourself rarely feels as good as one someone else gives you, and almost never as good as one you have during sex.”
“Oh, and you know this how?” She plucked the next card off the pile. “Oh wait, let me guess. Lots of practice, right?”
His single dimple creased his cheek. “Something like that, yes. But I’ve also read a lot on the subject.” His eyebrows shot up as if he’d had a Eureka moment. “As a matter of fact, I’m going to build you a reading list. I have a few books in mind that I think you’ll enjoy.”
She lowered her face into her left hand and groaned. “I feel like Luke Skywalker being trained in how to use The Force.”
Mark burst into laughter again. “Are you calling me Yoda?”
She had to admit, it was pretty funny. “No. You’re better looking than Yoda.”
“I certainly hope so.” He pointed to her card. “Okay, ask me.”
She read the card. Her heart performed another perfect swan dive into the pit of her stomach, and she glanced warily at him.
“Go ahead,” he said. “I can already tell this one’s good.”
He had no idea.
“Okay, um…” She looked back down. Here goes. “Take me to a place in the house where we haven’t had sex.” Her gaze flicked nervously to his before she continued. “Kiss me…and then whisper what you would do to me if we were to…get it on there.” She lowered the card to her lap and kept her head down.
Mark waited a moment then lifted her foot from between his legs, leaned toward her, and reached for her hand. Without looking at him, she took it. As he moved into the middle of the couch, he tugged her onto his lap and situated her so that she faced him. Her legs straddled his thighs.
Her heart beat like a wild drum in her chest.
“Come here,” he whispered, caressing her cheek in such a way that drew her face to his. His lips found hers and held them in a static kiss. He didn’t move, and neither did she. All that mattered was the simple, chaste connection and the way a thousand tiny starbursts exploded throughout her body. His kiss seemed so innocent, and yet it sent shards of erotic desire into her blood.
He broke away, but held her close. “Since we haven’t had sex, yet, I choose here.” He patted the couch. “And as for what I would do to you here, I would make you stand in front of me, where I would slip my hands up your skirt and pull off your panties. I would invite you onto my lap and whisper how sexy you are…” He bent around and kissed her earlobe. “You’re very sexy.”
A shiver raced down her spine.
His lips skimmed down her jaw to her chin. “I would kiss your neck.” And he did, letting his tongue sneak out to lick a fiery trail from one side to the other.
Karma felt like she was in a vicious state of sensory overload. She was practically panting.
“And I wouldn’t stop making love to you until you came.” His breath washed over the skin of her neck, and his lips closed over her shoulder as he licked her. “Your first orgasm with a man inside you,” he said a moment later when he met her gaze again.
As badly as she needed oxygen, she could hardly breathe.
“Oh,” she whispered breathlessly. Apparently she could barely speak, too.
His gaze dropped to her mouth, and a heartbeat later, their lips meshed again, this time with more force. A quiet groan broke from deep in his chest.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders. No way was she letting this moment go. All night, they had talked about sex. Visions of him in various states of undress had taunted her throughout their game, and she had felt his magnificence against the sole of her foot for at least ten minutes. They had fallen under the very spell the game was designed to cast, because they were unraveling into lust faster than a stripper takes off her clothes.
“Bite my lip,” he muttered against her mouth. “Let yourself go.”
She thought she had been letting go, but clearly he knew her better than she knew herself, because the moment he told her to let go, she found a fifth gear she hadn’t thought possible. Her tongue danced with his, and he groaned low and loud, and when she did as he asked and took his bottom lip between her teeth, he practically growled, and his fingers curled into claws on her back, pulling her closer.
“That’s my girl,” he said when she released his lip. Then he assaulted her mouth again, nipping her lip as if to show her the pleasure she had just given him. And it was pleasurable. Being bitten, even if only lightly, knocked her good side clear out of the picture, leaving only the vixen she had discovered in Chicago.
Passion rose in her blood, turning her into someone else. She was no longer sweet, shy, good Karma. She was lusty, sultry, bad Karma. A woman lost to her desires, driven by erotic need, who wanted to experience pleasure only a man could give. That only Mark could give.
He pulled away, and she opened her eyes to find him grinning at her, his gaze hooded.
“What?” she said, breathless.
His left eyebrow twitched. “You’re pulling my hair.”
She glanced up and found that her hands had curled into fists, and tufts of his dark brown hair poked out between her fingers. She quickly opened her hands and let go.
Of course, this made Mark laugh. “I wasn’t complaining. Remember, I like when a woman pulls my hair.”
“Uh, yes…” She sheepishly looked away. “I got a bit carried away.”
He pulled her down so that her forehead rested against his. “I know. And I liked it. A lot.”
For a long moment, nothing was said as Mark ran his palms slowly up and down her back. “I want to be the first man to show you what you’ve been missing, Karma,” he said softly. “I want to succeed where others have failed.”
Her bashful side made a subtle reappearance, and she curled in on herself. “Why?”
He caressed her cheek. “For one, I think you deserve to know what a really good orgasm feels like, don’t you?”
When he put it that way, how could she say no?
His fingertips brushed back her hair. “Second of all, I’m a man. And, like most men, I’m proud and have a big ego. I’m not afraid to admit it. And when I make a woman feel good…when I give her such intense pleasure that she screams my name as she’s falling into the most unbelievable orgasm she’s ever had, I take great pride in that.” He hesitated and narrowed his eyes. “Especially when I know she’s never felt anything like that before.” He paused to let his words sink in.
Karma’s entire body heated. They had most definitely sunk in.
Who says egomania is a bad thing?
Mark shifted against the couch, and she felt his erection press against her. “To know that I awakened that part of a woman gives me tremendous satisfaction, Karma. It’s the best ego boost in the world.” His gaze danced back and forth between her eyes. “So, the most direct answer to your question is that I want to feel you fall apart and come undone under my touch.” He took a shaky breath and closed his palm over her cheek. “My God, but just the thought of that…to see you, head thrown back, that heart-shaped mouth open as you cry out…” He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. “Let’s just say the idea turns me on very much.”
The idea turned her on, too, as in way on.
“There’s something undeniably sexy about you, Karma,” he said. “You intrigue me, and I want the pleasure of discovering you, and of helping you discover yourself if you’ll let me. Will you? Let me?”
As the air in the room froze and her heart beat in a wild rhythm, hope and anxious anticipation broke over Mark’s expression. His intense stare never wavered.
The most lascivious aspect of their pending affair pressed solidly against the apex of her body, and she had to force herself not to rotate her hips. How would he feel inside her? What would it feel like to finally have an orgasm—a real orgasm—during intercourse? Mark promised to answer all those questions and more.
What he was offering was more than she ever could have imagined. He was handsome, charming, intelligent, and confident in his abilities. He was the kind of man women dream of. And he wanted to be with her. Her!
If you want to change some things in your life, you need to change some things in your life.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, I’ll let you.”
She bit her lip and a shudder danced up her spine as he smiled.
Mark had to be a magician, because only a magician could have made her behave the way she had tonight.
This was going to be good. So very, very good. She didn’t regret her decision to wear that gold brooch to work today one bit. Not one damn bit.