Never give up on something you really want. However impossible things seem, there’s always a way.
-Sophie Kinsella
Six weeks later…
“And for all her efforts to transition operations through our recent changes, employee of the month goes to…Karma Mason.” Don gestured toward Karma while the rest of the employees took a break from their Halloween luncheon to applaud.
Karma ducked her head as her face heated.
This was Mark’s legacy. The employee of the month program had been his suggestion, and how fitting was it that she should be its first recipient?
Don handed her a gift card. “Congratulations, Karma.”
“Thanks.” She tucked the fifty-dollar card into her pocket. She didn’t know what she would spend the money on, but in time, as the clouds lifted from Mark’s absence, she would figure it out.
Lisa nudged her arm. “Way to go, girl. I knew you’d get it this month.” She was in charge of the fledgling program. “Here, have some chocolate to celebrate.” She grabbed a piece of Dove chocolate from inside one of the small plastic pumpkins decorating the tables and set it in front of Karma.
“Uh…” Karma frowned at the piece of chocolate that reminded her of her favorite lesson with Mark and pursed her lips as a jab of pain knifed her chest.
“Oh, um…I’m sorry.” Lisa quickly removed the blue square of chocolate, tossed it back inside the pumpkin, and fished out a Snickers instead.
Karma sighed, took the bite-size bar, and offered Lisa a wan grin. “It’s okay,” she said. “I have to move on eventually, right?”
Lisa stroked her arm. “You want to come over to my place for Halloween tomorrow? We could make popcorn, watch scary movies, and pass out candy to the trick-or-treaters. And you can help me decorate the front yard. It’ll be fun. What do you say?”
“I don’t think so, Leese. I’m just going to stay home.”
Lisa sighed and nodded sympathetically. “Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.” She stood with her empty plate. “I’m gonna get back to work. Congratulations again.” She smiled warmly then headed off.
Back at her desk, Karma’s gaze strayed to the empty conference room Mark had made his office over the summer. Another stab of sorrow cut into her heart. Where was he now? Was he standing on his balcony, looking at Lake Michigan? Had he taken on a new assignment in another state? Had he met someone new? Someone he could teach all his lessons of love to the way he had her? Did he even think about her, anymore? She still thought about him every day.
She had thought that, with time, the sadness would diminish, and in some ways it had. She no longer cried herself to sleep every night, but she still couldn’t look at a Dove chocolate square or a brownie without tears prickling the backs of her eyes. She still couldn’t wear her red scarf or her peep-toe pumps, either. And she hadn’t touched her stack of books since he’d left. They still sat on her dresser, right where they were the last time he was inside her apartment.
But getting through her days was getting easier. Baby steps, right?
“Hey, Karma.”
She looked up as Jasper stopped in front of her desk. “Hey, Jasper. What’s up?”
Jasper was one of Solar’s project managers. He was about her age, slim but fit, with straight brown hair that always hung a little over his eyes. He brushed it aside and smiled. He had a nice smile. She had never noticed before.
“We need another girl for tonight’s softball game. You interested?”
Softball? She really wasn’t up for softball or anything else. “I’m not sure, Jasper. It’s been a while since I played, and—”
“That’s okay. We just do it for fun. I have an extra mitt if you need one.”
“No, I’ve got my own mitt.” She hadn’t used it in years, but she had one.
“Come on. It’ll be fun. We go out after for burgers and drinks at the Stacked Pickle. You should join us.” His brown eyes sparkled with an interest that was deeper than his desire to fill a vacancy on the team.
Jasper was an attractive guy. Karma had never paid him much attention before, but now that she really got a good look, he was sort of handsome. Was he boyfriend material? Was he worthy to replace Mark in her heart? Probably not. But she would never know if she didn’t give him a chance. Didn’t he deserve at least that?
“Well…okay. I suppose I can help out. Sounds like fun.” As with her affirmations, if she said it enough, eventually she would begin to believe it. And she had to start somewhere. Baby steps, Karma. One step at a time, one day at a time. If she kept that in perspective, before long she wouldn’t have to remind herself to have fun. She just would.
“Great.” Jasper nodded, grinned, and held her gaze for a long moment before saying, “We meet at the Midwest Sports Complex around five thirty. Game starts around six.” He hesitated. “You can ride with me if you want.”
She shook her head. “No. Thanks, anyway. I know where it is. And I have to go home and change first.”
He looked a little disappointed. “Oh, that’s right. Okay.”
“But I’ll be there.”
He brightened. “Then I’ll see you at five thirty. Thanks, Karma.”
She watched after him as he headed off to the war room. Then she glanced back into the conference room. Mark was gone. He wasn’t coming back. She needed to move on, even if it hurt like hell to pull him from her heart and give someone else a shot. Life couldn’t be put on hold just because Mark had vacated hers. She needed to find her way toward living again. Filling in on the company softball team was a good first step, but she could do even better.
She grabbed her phone and dialed Lisa’s extension.
“Hey,” she said when Lisa answered. “About tomorrow. I changed my mind. What time should I be at your place?”
Baby steps. Little tiny baby steps.
* * *
Mark carefully removed the bandage from his chest, a little left of center, where the hair had been shaved. He inspected his new tattoo, a pair of Asian hieroglyphics inside a three-inch-diameter circle. It looked like a stamp, which was fitting given its meaning and placement. His skin was still red and irritated, but the black oriental symbols looked good. Clean and crisp.
Karma. That’s what the symbols stood for.
A nostalgic smile touched his lips. The tattoo was his way not only to brand Karma on his body but also to honor the promise he had made to the universe while driving back to Chicago six weeks ago. Leaving her had been the hardest thing he’d ever done, and, more than once, he had almost turned around. Finally, halfway to Chicago, when, once again, he had almost pulled off the interstate to go back, he struck a bargain with God…or whatever higher power controlled fate.
“Okay, I’ll make a deal with you, God.” He gripped the steering wheel and pushed his foot a little harder on the accelerator, passing the exit to Merrillville and continuing toward Chicago. “Maybe I misunderstood before. I’m not adept at reading signs, and I know I kind of threw that one at you last minute back there, but let’s try this again.” He sounded like he was negotiating, not praying. Was this how asking for signs was done? He took a deep breath and nodded to himself, determined to see this through, even if he sounded like a negotiator instead of someone desperate for another chance at the best thing that had ever happened to him. “I’ll go back to Chicago. I’ll go back to my life. But if I’m meant to be with her, bring her back to me. I don’t care how or when.” He stared out the windshield at the stretch of gray, double-laned pavement. “Well, I do care when. The sooner the better, but I’ll take what you can give me.”
What was that old adage? If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they’re yours forever. If they don’t, they never were. Well, he was setting Karma free.
“If we’re meant to be together, God, then bring her back to me. If you bring her back, I’ll know we’re supposed to be together forever.” He needed a sign. One that came from outside himself, because he couldn’t trust his own feelings. His heart tugged him in one direction, and his head pulled him in another. He was at odds with himself, wanting two things that sat on opposite ends of the spectrum. His heart wanted Karma, but his brain reminded him what listening to his heart before had gotten him: a lot of pain and suffering.
So he released responsibility over the decision altogether and gave it to God and the universe. Let fate decide. That was best. That was easiest.
But what if God did bring her back and gave his heart what it wanted? How would he get past his aversion to long-term commitments, and how would the two of them make a long-distance relationship work?
No! Stop thinking, Strong.
He forced himself to shut down the questions whirring through his mind. His future was out of his control now. This was how signs worked, right? Not that he’d ever believed in all this kismet stuff before, but in principle, you asked for a sign, put yourself into Fate’s hands, and went about your business. If you got the sign you asked for, then everything else automatically fell into place, one way or another, because you wouldn’t have gotten what you asked for if it wasn’t meant to be.
So he had sent his request into the universe and returned to Chicago. Still, it hadn’t felt like he had done enough. That was when he got the idea to tattoo “karma” on his chest, right over his heart, thus branding himself as hers forever, no matter whether God answered him or not.
He stared fondly at the fresh ink then pulled up the picture he had taken of the two of them together in Millennium Park. The one where she had been kissing his cheek while they lay on the grass. He looked at that picture at least once a day. He had been so happy then. Happier than he was now by about a mile. Maybe ten. Hell, maybe a hundred.
He sighed, set his phone on the bathroom counter, and grabbed his antibacterial soap as an ache set up shop in his chest, right behind the tattoo…deep inside his heart, which now belonged to Karma.
He carefully cleansed the tattoo, let it dry, and then gently rubbed the ointment the tattoo artist had given him over the glyphic symbols. He would care for this tattoo the way he should have cared for the woman that was its namesake. And if given the chance, and God saw fit to answer his prayer and fulfill His end of the bargain, Mark wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
If Karma came back to him, he vowed to take care of her forever.
Thank you for reading Good Karma, book one of the Strong Karma Trilogy. An excerpt of Coming Back to You, book two of the series, follows. But first, if you enjoyed this novel, please take a moment to leave a review on the site where you bought it. More than ever, authors rely on reviews and feedback from their readers. I appreciate it.