“DO YOU WANT TO meet them?” Karlee asked him days after their kiss and one of many days he was willingly hanging out at her house. In her room.
Xavier turned to Karlee when she distracted him from perusing her full library of old CDs. She liked to collect them. “Meet them?” Xavier repeated, looking vacant.
“Don’t play dumb with me. You know what I mean. Spencer is here now with my dad. Together. They’re practicing or whatever. Doing something. His car is parked right out there.” There being the freaking recording studio they could see from Karlee’s bedroom. The sheer significance of it made Xavier almost dizzy. He fully intended to do that, and be here, but he never truly believed it would actually happen. His pie-in-the-sky plan had to be common to any young teen imagining a career on the stage as lead singer for a hot band or the lead actor in a favorite movie. Sure, it was a dream come true, and more than epic. But things like that didn’t really happen.
Somehow, he managed to make it happen. Did he want to do that now? Visit Zenith’s recording studio? Well hell, yeah. Of course, he did. That was the end goal of all of this.
But he immediately thought of Karlee… damn. He genuinely liked her. They fit together like a jigsaw puzzle and better than he did with anyone else. Even their damn heights were perfectly matched. Xavier was a few inches taller than Karlee and her mouth fit on his like a plug in a socket. They were just meant to be together. They were both slim and when he held her next to him, they made an ideal set. They complemented each other. They even earned an A on their school project with one point deducted for a formatting error, of all things. Karlee stared at the grade and then at him before she snorted victoriously. “We’re totally awesome. Such a fantastic team. Look at that. Ninety-nine out of a hundred. Damn right it’s an A.”
Yeah. Damn right.
Her humor and his. Her sarcasm and his. Her kindness and what? His callousness.
Don’t do this was the first thing that flashed through his head after hearing her words. Everything he did had culminated to this point. Karlee offered him the chance of a lifetime. She did so willingly, making it sound like her idea. He didn’t have to hint around or outright ask her to get there. She generously offered it. He could legitimately accept her offer and finally meet Rob’s partner, the other half of Zenith.
And then what?
Xavier didn’t know. His sincere feelings were annoying him now because they ruined his plan. Their relationship wasn’t supposed to be so enduring and genuine. It made it so hard for Xavier to follow through now. It turned out to be an unintended consequence.
“You can’t just throw out an invitation like that to people.”
“What?” she smirked, shrugging her shoulders. “Yes, I can. I go in there often when they’re collaborating. I always have carte blanche.”
Xavier shut his eyes. Sure, she did. She was always welcome to hang out with one of the greatest influences and legends of Xavier’s life. The co-creators of the best music he ever heard. Music was the only reason for him to get up most days. There was nothing else for Xavier to live for. Nothing that he found more worthwhile. Fuck his family. They amounted to nothing helpful so he never bonded with them. A lousy father and a drug addict for a mother who overdosed when he was young. What else was there? In school, all the bullies went after kids like him. He was quiet, scrawny and caught up in his own head. Music and weed were all that got him by in those days.
How could he not take advantage of any opportunity that came his way?
“If you think it’s okay.”
“It is if I say it is.”
Xavier wondered if Karlee realized how lucky she was.
Xavier felt more than lucky now and he tried to reaffirm the main reason he was here. It wasn’t just to be with Karlee. Even if she turned out to be somewhat compelling.
But alas, she was a girl. What did girls do? Break their words. Flirt and act fickle. She’d never pay his bills or fulfill his dreams. No one could do that except him.
Not so impressive in his achievements, work, or the grades he got, only his voice stood out as a rare and wonderful gift. That was his only source of confidence. Now, Karlee was putting his feet to the fire. Was he ready to meet real talent, real fame and real living legends? No. Maybe not. The fun dream he pretended he wanted could have been no more than a delusion that he’d entertained for a decade. Was he truthfully about to humiliate himself?
Karlee was grabbing a sweatshirt and zipping it up as she announced, “Let’s go meet your idols.”
Blithely rushing down the stairs, and free of any doubts, fears, phobias, hopes or dreams, Karlee led the way. She seemed to have zero direction and no ambition. Xavier couldn’t understand that side of her at all. Zenith and Rob didn’t impress her. School was more of a constructive distraction than much else. She dropped little morsels about her life experiences that startled him sometimes. He read about some of her history while doing research on Rob’s life before he ever spoke a word to her. When he learned she wasn’t a caricature or a cliché as the offspring of a celebrity, he was initially surprised. Karlee was complicated, interesting, and unspoiled, which was the most surprising fact of all to Xavier.
Darting down the stairs, Xavier followed her but he was slower and more cautious. Like he had lead in his shoes. This was his big chance. A wave of crushing disappointment crashed over him when he worried that it most likely wouldn’t work. Then he felt bad for doing such a detestable thing to a nice person like Karlee. If his plan failed, he hoped she’d never know what he tried to do; and maybe then, he could be more than friends with her?
Could he though? Pausing on the staircase, he stopped and considered the chances of that happening. He could stop everything right now and have Karlee for himself. He could date her. Enjoy her friendship. The days in the beginning were irrelevant now and she didn’t need to know about that. Xavier would never admit it. Duh. From now on, they could be real and honest and genuine with each other.
Lacking any former meaningful relationships, Xavier was grateful to have Karlee interested in him. She asked how his day went and actually cared how it went. She also checked in when she didn’t hear from him to know if he were alive or dead. Other than showing up at work, no one else ever noticed Xavier or kept track of him. It took a long while before his roommates figured out he wasn’t coming and going there as often.
The thought of living with them was depressing. But Xavier was used to that.
With Karlee, however, he felt less alone and never depressed. His quiet, grumpy or annoyed moods, during which he didn’t want to talk, were snapped away at once with about three sharp words from Karlee. She wasn’t chatty and she detested inane conversations. She avoided small talk. When Karlee spoke, it was for a good reason. She was also funny. She knew how to approach him and make him respond to her naturally and without frustration. She could drag him out of any of the funks that often plagued him without even trying. She always managed to restore the balance between them.
But she was still a girl. Would he give it all up for a girl he barely knew? He was just twenty years old and he didn’t want a girlfriend. Not for a few years, if ever. And one like Karlee? She was high quality and high caliber. He saw that at once and it drew him to her like a magnet.
He had to market his voice and his vision of sharing it with others. He could make it and do it though, because it was all he had. His resolve shored up, despite the guilt ripping through him over Karlee, he stepped forward.
He descended the stairs and decided he had to go through with it. There was no other choice. He had nothing else of value to sell. Nothing to live for really. No one else to solicit. No dreams beyond that one. Toiling at low-income jobs and living in substandard housing with poverty-stricken people was what he foresaw if his plan failed. He would no doubt become just another cog in the wheel of dysfunction that he called his family.
It couldn’t hurt for him to see the recording studio of a successful band, one that he longed to emulate, could it? It was just more research.
Yeah. Perfectly reasonable thing to do.
He stepped quickly to reach Karlee’s side as she led him out the back door to the deck and down the stairs to a concrete path that meandered through the spectacular yard décor between the outbuildings.
“That’s all security, the extra garage over there. It was Kathy’s apartment and our old garage before Rob became stupid rich. That’s what he built for himself.” She swept her arm towards the one-story building with uneven roof lines. It had a funky, modern vibe compared to the rest of the compound buildings, which were rustic. Situated at the far rear of the property, it also had more trees and shrubs to camouflage it while offering the privacy of being in another world.
Karlee strolled across the grounds, obviously used to it, looking comfortable, and fully in command. Her emotions were not roiling inside her gut and almost doubling her over in pain like Xavier’s were.
Grabbing the door handle, she opened it and walked in without a knock or hesitation. She had no idea how lucky she was.
Xavier’s stomach bottomed out and cramped while his hands dripped with clammy moisture and his mouth suddenly went dry. Could he speak? His doubt triggered every fear inside him. What if his tongue stayed frozen? What if he couldn’t even manage a casual, polite hello?
Xavier was that nervous. His entire well-being rested on this moment. His past, present and future were on the line here and now. He was determined not to fail. The rush of blood and pressure in his head almost made his knees buckle. It was too much of an event for him to blow. Too much to hope for and anticipate and he hated how out of control he felt. Hope? What a crock of shit. He’d never let himself care about anything so much again. Nothing. No more hope, no more dreams, no more opportunities and certainly no more hero worship for another person. Nothing could ever have this much control over him again. He felt awful, far past discomfort. He never expected so much stress that he would feel ill. It had that much power over him.
Would his life be over if he messed this up? Or would nothing happen because of it?
All he could be is… what? Another ordinary loser attending community college who liked a girl in his class. How pathetic. In other words, he was going nowhere. He was nothing.
But what if some arbitrary, completely insane and totally outrageous plan to use that girl to meet her stepfather and somehow blow him away with his talent worked? Then what?
Something might change. Any advice they could offer to direct, lead, or give him a chance was a possibility, and in Xavier’s mind, the path for success.
As easily as entering a classroom, Karlee walked inside and altered Xavier’s fate. Xavier traveled many miles for years, and overcame all sorts of ethical boundaries to see this day. Now, he walked in to a rock star’s studio without even knocking.
Entering an alcove painted a dark maroon with recessed, intimate lighting, Xavier carefully held the door until it clicked softly shut. Down a small hallway was the room. Two large, wide floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked the manicured courtyard and trees. The sky illuminated it softly. A single high window bathed everything below with plenty of light even today, when it was overcast. The tall ceiling slanted downwards, which accounted for the uneven roof lines. A dark brown leather couch occupied one wall. It was huge enough to seat six adult men. The floors were dark hardwood and featured a long, brown and white rug. A control board was located along the opposite wall of the couch and stood out a few feet. Extra seating on the sides of the couch by the control board was also available. Xavier looked at all the dials, buttons and gadgets which resembled (in his imagination) a NASA rocket dashboard. Large, freestanding speakers stood on each end of the room.
Of course, a window also faced the large control board and inside were two figures. Rob was sitting on a stool, a rhythm guitar on his lap. Behind him, Spencer Mattox played a bass guitar.
It was very light and open, airy yet intimate, owing to the dark colors and recessed lighting. The ceiling and corners were illuminated in interesting ways. It was a space unlike any other Xavier ever saw. He could not imagine the cost of building the structure, but guessed the sheer volume of technology could have financed a small country for a year.
No sound came from the room. Karlee suddenly did the unthinkable and she walked up to the window and started waving to capture their attention.
“Why would you do that?” Xavier asked. He stood in the center of the luxurious room, imagining all the brainstorms that occurred inside it. What a space. Several guitars were propped up in the corner and a keyboard synthesizer was below a window. Xavier wondered if they ever practiced there before recording their music officially in the other room.
“Because they’re not doing anything special. They do that a lot. Hanging around. Making music and new sounds and writing stuff or not. The muse they rely on likes to come and go at will. They don’t care in the least.”
Xavier cared though. His stomach started knotting when Rob turned at Karlee’s antics and waved to her. They both got up, setting their instruments down carefully and stepping around the few that were left in the room. Xavier didn’t miss the set of high-end drums he spotted in one corner of the raised platform of the studio. Wow. It was all the best: custom-made and first-class.
“Hey, you haven’t visited us here in a while,” Rob said cheerfully as he came around the door. It was hidden in another alcove to the right of the window.
“I guess not. Too much schoolwork you insist that I do and excel at.”
“You’re such a brat,” Rob teased her. Then he glanced at Xavier. “Hi, Xavier. I hear Karlee managed to get her side of the project done.”
Xavier looked her way with visible apprehension. Karlee tilted her head with a small smile, indicating that he should speak. “Right. Yeah. We pulled an A.”
“Rare thing to hear about my youngest girl,” Rob said as he gave her a pointed look.
Then he turned and said, “Spencer Mattox, this is one of Karlee’s friends from college, Xavier Montgomery. Xavier, meet Spencer.”
Xavier’s heart nearly swelled up so huge that it burst. Spencer was the tall, dark-haired, olive-skinned, intensely genius backbone to all their music. The dark themes and the ironic and interesting lyrics usually originated from this musician. Renowned for his ability to expertly play multiple instruments, from keyboards to grand piano, and schooled in all of the classics, Spencer was a living phenomenon. He could pound away on the drums, or provide the perfect bass guitar, and even knew how to play a freaking accordion. When they added that to several songs, it made them insanely different and more original than ever. Spencer was less the rock star heartthrob and more the quiet, musical genius, creating art without seeking fame.
Karlee gave the tall man a kiss when he smiled at her. “Hello, Karlee, been awhile. Nice to meet you, Xavier.”
“You too.” There. He said it. The most innocuous and uninspired greeting possible. But he said it and it made sense. He succeeded. He didn’t start blubbering or fall to his knees in fandom ecstasy. Xavier stood away from the three of them by a few feet. No crowding from him. When the heat rose in his cheeks, he shook his head so his hair flopped down, ostensibly hiding some of his obvious excitement.
“What are you two up to? A new album creation or are you reworking old tunes or… I know! You’re preparing for your old man farewell tour to celebrate your fiftieth birthday next year.” Karlee smiled cheekily and laughed. Rob wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to rub her hair with his knuckles in a teasing display of unmitigated affection. She squealed when his knuckles snarled up some of the longer strands. Pushing him away, she flipped her head around and tried to rearrange her hair to a more sane appearance.
“New album; we’ve got another fifty years to go.”
“Crank one out and then onto the next. Yawn. Nothing ever changes.” Rob and Spencer were making music that the world played. Millions of people listened to them. Over and over. People reveled in it and quoted their lyrics and wondered about them and pondered over them. Xavier would have died, or given his right arm, or even Karlee for the chance to hear them in person.
“If you think it’s so easy, let’s hear you screech out an original song. Let’s listen to the wounded bird shrieks of Karlee Randall.”
She puffed out her cheeks out and then let them flatten. “Fine. So what if I don’t share the musical abilities of Kathy Randall or you? Sorry, but I forgot you were all but curing cancer out here in the backyard.”
She was so insufferable sometimes. How could she be so casual and unmoved, knowing that masterpieces of music were being performed here? At least they were as far as Xavier was concerned. It was the cure to anything that ailed him. It was the point of everything that mattered. It made love and family and relationships pale in comparison. This burning, aching desire in his chest and gut to create. He had to play. He had to write songs and sing them. He could do it twelve hours a day, go to sleep, and get up and do it again. Seven days a week weren’t enough time to spend doing it and he wondered if he could ever truly get sick of it?
Rob interrupted his thoughts when he had to laugh at Karlee’s teasing and jibs.
“Right. We aren’t,” Rob replied.
“Thank goodness our fans are more impressed than your daughter,” Spencer added dryly.
“Well, now that you mention it…” said Karlee.
Xavier’s stomach churned painfully and he feared an ulcer when his anxious nerves gnawed away at his stomach lining. God. No. How could that be her lead-in? It was so lame and direct, so typical. But how else could it go down? No way could he pretend he didn’t like them or hadn’t heard of them. Ha. He’d used up all of his acting skills on Karlee. He was worn out now and knew he’d fail if he tried to fake it.
His face burst with flashes of heat that all but made him sweat. He expected he must have appeared to suddenly have a fever. The way she brought up the subject only made him feel even smaller, sillier, and more stupid and less significant. He wished she had tried to make it a bit less horrible for him. It seemed so obvious why they crashed in on their private recording session. Rob and Spencer had to spend all kinds of time creating their classics. What did they think of Karlee and her little school chum all but skipping in to watch them make magic?
Rob turned to Xavier and asked, “Are you a bit more of a fan than my daughter is?” He spoke with a carefree smile, and his tone was charming. Rob winked and tilted his head to Karlee. “That would be more than appreciated right now.”
“Oh, you are so cute,” Karlee said with a sarcastic sniff. “Well, Xavier is more of a fan of mine, but maybe after hearing your little garage band, you might capture his ear.” She winked back and sneered triumphantly. That quickly, Xavier’s embarrassment and discomfort fled. Karlee toned it down to save him from feeling like a little kid at Disneyland asking for Mickey Mouse’s autograph.
“I hope so. You’re pretty awesome. Even if you rarely act nice to me.” Rob walked towards a giant table of knobs and instruments. Xavier thought of his own setup at home. Xavier jerry rigged a recorder at home, using a smartphone app, a cheap microphone and some software. It was comparable to playing with a toy Lamborghini instead of driving a real one. Rob obviously enjoyed teasing his stepdaughter and her school friend.
“Where are Jaxon and Danny?”
“Not ready for them yet. Rob and I are just bouncing some new ideas around,” Spencer answered honestly.
“So you’re not super busy right now?”
Rob tilted his head her way without taking his eyes off the screen before him. “Well, I might argue this is the most important part of making art. You start with a blank page and begin to put something down on it. It’s mostly trial and error and…”
“Geniuses at work.” This time, Karlee wasn’t smirking or making fun of Rob. She leaned over and kissed his cheek, surprising him and he looked up. “I know you guys. I just like to give you crap to keep it real. ‘Cause I’m not ready to be real, and like the rest of us mere mortals, we have to find new ways to soothe our egos somehow.”
His gaze shifted to Karlee as he replied, “You can be so mean sometimes and then so…”
“Perfect? That’s what keeps me so interesting.”
Rob straightened as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his hip on the edge of the table. “You’re just like your mother. Believe me, I know it. So, what is really going on? You just visiting to kill some time or do you plan on staying awhile?”
Please say staying awhile, Xavier began to hope.
She shrugged. “Release the button so we can hear it.”
“Okay. It’s been awhile though. Wanna hear some new stuff?”
“Sure.”
They both turned to go towards the door and Karlee took Xavier’s hand as she tugged him to the couch. “What did you mean by, release the button?” Xavier asked.
She leaned over and replied, “The soundproofing button, when they release it, you can hear what they are playing through the sound system. Ready? Front row ticket. Ready to hear the latest and totally unheard tunes of Zenith?”
Xavier’s heart ached with eagerness as he nodded.
Rob and Spencer sat down on stools, and Spencer set the bass on the keyboard synthesizer along with the drums before adding a rhythmic melody. Then Rob came in with the lead guitar. They played for a long time until Rob leaned towards the microphone and his voice filled the room. Chills broke out on Xavier’s skin. This was the culmination of everything he wanted to do and create. He sat speechlessly watching history being made. Rob played an acoustic guitar that sounded like a slow rock song, but not quite a ballad. It was brand new. No one ever heard it before. It had a couple of rough spots where something more could be added and reworked but the main tune and the bass were already established. Xavier heard the Zenith signature touch in it. Spencer did the backup vocals. Never very loud, Spencer’s voice was supportive and perfectly harmonized with Rob’s. Rob’s raspy voice hit a high note that gave Xavier more chills when he managed to hold the high note so long while playing the guitar with his hands.
Oh, damn.
Inside his head, Xavier was itching to freaking play all the chords with his own fingers. He longed to play music with them.
The next song switched to a fast one. Pounding rhythm, it was more old school, and Rob’s screeching vocals would have done any alternative rock band proud.
They listened to the new songs for so long that Xavier lost all track of time and space. He forgot to try to look cool or have any other reaction. He was rapt and totally enamored with the moment. Every moment was more special than the last. They were the best moments of his life. A sense of happiness that inspired and rewarded him jolted through his body. It was like seeing the sunlight after emerging from a tomb. He wasn’t used to it at all.
Karlee leaned next to Xavier and whispered, “If you could do something to make me happy, would you?”
Startled at her voice, he turned towards her, realizing he almost forgot about her. After overcoming his hang ups and nerves, Xavier let Zenith carry him away. Was Karlee watching him? He guessed yes by her intent gaze that was fastened on his. He remembered her question… Would he do something to make her happy? Well, yeah, if he could. But what could he possibly do for her?
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I could make you really happy right now and I wish you’d let me.” If they were anywhere but inside her dad’s recording studio, with him observing them, Xavier might have erroneously assumed she was offering him a blowjob or something even more risqué that was sexual in nature. But obviously, that couldn’t be it.
“I doubt if I’d stop you…”
“They’ll let you sing with them if I ask them. Let me. I’ve never once asked them before if it was okay. It’s not like I drag every Tom, Dick and Harry who’s a fan of theirs in here. This would be the first time. They’ll do it. They’ll let you sing with them. Why not jump at the chance? You said you’d never do a cover of them for me. Fine. You can do it with them.”
Everything seemed to climax to this particular moment. His plan and a million-dollar gamble were catching a glimpse of fruition… and Karlee was offering it all up. Xavier was sure she’d ask them and she’d push until it happened. Xavier would finally know his destiny. Forever. Was he crazy? Or did he have a great voice? Was it the freaking thing he hoped it was? Much more than being a member of the choir or the glee club?
“Karlee, they don’t want to play with a stupid jerk who practices on a used, beat-up guitar.”
“Then do this. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, huh? It means something important to you so why not do it?”
“I’ll humiliate myself. How do you know I can? They’re the real deal. I’m in it for fun.”
“I don’t know. They won’t be hard on you about it. They’re both actually really nice.”
It was so banal. Leave it to Karlee, Queen of the Understatement. “I can’t…”
“You can’t, but I can. Okay, how about if I word it like this: will it make you hate me?”
He couldn’t help a small smile. “I would be unable to ever pay you back and indebted to you forever… I would be totally clueless how to proceed with my normal life. But you can’t ask them. I’m nothing like Zenith.”
“No, but you could have some fun with them. My sister comes in here sometimes and plays gospel music that they all sing along to. So tell me why you can’t have some fun too?”
He was holding his breath as he thought, Please, let her do it. Let her take the initiative. But he didn’t want to beg or endorse her desire to make it happen. He fought the urge to grab her shoulders, shake her and all but scream, Yes! Make it happen! But he looked away, gulping as he shrugged. His passivity, he hoped, would come across as a case of nerves but he remained unsure if she’d take the initiative.
She got up and his heart hammered so loudly in his chest, it sounded like a microphone to his ears. Please, please, please… he thought.
She spoke to Rob and glanced at Spencer. Both of their heads nodded and they smiled before she left the room. They didn’t turn towards him and she had a neutral expression on her face. Finally, she approached him.
“You don’t even have to feel stupid. I told them you have a good voice but you won’t sing to me no matter how much I beg, despite my association with them.” Xavier smiled as she used a snarky, raised tone at them. He knew exactly how she would say it; blaming Rob and Spencer for their fame, which kept her from hearing his voice. “I told them you think you can’t hold a candle to them and you expect to make me laugh. Which I doubt. So I asked if they’d let you play with them and let me finally hear my friend sing. They were totally cool and yeah, they got exactly how you’d feel about that.”
Dear God. She wrote the script better than he did. And oddly enough, he was ready to follow it. But… how?
“Do I just go in there?”
“I’ll come with you.”
She got up, putting her hand out and he gave her his hand as she tugged him towards the door. He walked heavily as if he were being dragged. He kept his gaze down, feeling weary, embarrassed and unsure. This was the biggest moment in his life, but wanting it was very different from facing it.
He entered the room and glanced around. Rob rose to his feet. “So, you know how to play some music?” Rob smiled nicely at Xavier when he appeared shy. Such a decent man in all ways.
Xavier shrugged, acting noncommittal.
“What do you like to play?”
“Guitar.”
“Bass guitar?”
“No.”
Karlee squeezed his hand before she released him and went to sit in the corner. A smaller brown loveseat that matched the larger couch was available so she flopped down on it and curled her legs under her. Rob handed him a guitar. The quality so surpassed anything Xavier had ever touched before that he blinked and gulped hard to calm his nerves. Damn. This instrument was so much nicer than anything he’d ever played. He sucked in a deep breath as his nerves nearly destroyed him. Clearing his throat, Xavier set the strap over his shoulder and brought the instrument to his hip until it felt normal. It was like a freaking appendage to him.
Gently strumming the guitar, he was unable to resist the well-tuned strings and the accompanying sound he created that emerged from the amplifier at his feet. Damn. Oh, damn. This was something else.
Spencer sat at the drums and glanced up with a surprised look when Rob picked up a bass guitar and asked Xavier, “What song do you want to play?”
Xavier swallowed hard, trying his best to prepare for this. The song that first introduced him to Rob Williams’ style and sound was one of the originals. “‘Joelle,’” Xavier replied, “does that work?”
“Joelle” was their first hit. It was the song they were most well-known for but it was hard to play. If Xavier could keep up with them, perhaps it would prove he could play anything they could. Surprise shone in Rob’s eyes as he nodded his acknowledgment.
“I haven’t practiced it lately so…” Xavier admitted.
“Some grace here. You want to first?” Rob asked.
Xavier sucked in a quick breath. He had this. It was time to be a superhero and do what he was meant to do. “Nah. We’ll just go with it.”
The song started out with a brief guitar solo before the cymbals crashed and started the chorus. The deep bass set the rhythm.
Xavier strummed the notes on the guitar and his fingers took on a life of their own. He felt the jolt of confidence run up and down his spine. Yes. Yeah. Fuck. He had this. He was on. The guitar was the best made and far beyond what Xavier ever used, which only further amplified his talent. When Rob and Spencer joined in, it began happening, live and together, they were collaborating and the blend of sounds from the separate instruments astonished everyone. The sheer beauty of the music never ceased to impress Xavier. The simplicity of sounds humbled him. He leaned into the microphone, sucked in a breath of air and started to sing.
Joelle…
there she is…
the one who knew
what I was ever feeling…
I broke all her promises
I destroyed all her plans
And I loved her all the time…
The chorus came in there. The lines of remorse for what Rob did to her when she loved him were familiar to everyone present. Xavier stopped and strummed the guitar before adding softly in a deep, raspy tone,
I broke all her promises
I destroyed all her plans
And I loved her all the time…
Save her from me…
The rhythm slowed down and the drum and guitars played on until finally Xavier’s voice ended on the last line.
Save her… save her… from me… Joelle…
It was deep, dark and haunting as his voice drifted off.
Xavier nailed it perfectly. There was no doubt. The room fell silent for a long moment when the music stopped.
Rob finally scoffed. “Holy shit. You sound…”
Just like him? Xavier did. As freaking amazing and strange as it was, Xavier was so much more than an average cover for a band.
Xavier studied the design of the strap before slowly lifting it off his shoulder. He was aching to keep it and wished he never had to let go of the beautiful instrument.
With a swift glance at Karlee, he bent down to gently prop the guitar beside the amplifier at his feet. He peeked through the black strands of his hair. Karlee sat up straighter as if suddenly coming to attention. Her eyebrows were raised with the kind of surprise he sensed now dominated the room.
A throat cleared. “You sound exactly like Rob the first time I ever heard him sing this song.”
Spencer? Wow. That had to be great feedback. Spencer was there from the start. “Not exactly, I hope,” Xavier replied offhandedly. His “aw, shucks” tone was how he hoped to convey his humility.
“Well, close enough that I’d have to do a double-take while listening. Damn. Where’d you learn to play like that?”
“In a shed. Listening to groups like yours.” Finally, Xavier’s tongue fell from the roof of his mouth and he managed to find the words to reply.
“Yeah. I get that. That’s how I spent most of my youth.” Spencer nodded as he rose from the stool beside the drums. “Where are you from?”
“Montesano area. You probably never heard of it.”
“Near Olympia? I’ve heard of it before.”
Rob cleared his throat while running a hand through his shaggy hair. His hair was unchanged for the past several decades if the pictures were accurate. “That was so unexpected, I have to tell you. We have so many covers obviously, but even the famous ones can never quite nail it. They always seem to miss that certain something factor. You know? You can’t name it but it’s what distinguishes one singer and one group from another. You are so damn close. Eerily nailing it. But there was a bit more from you that I doubt many could hear.”
“Really? Sounded like a cover to me.” Xavier shrugged as he stood there, shuffling his feet, his hands on his hips.
“Wanna do another one?” Rob asked.
Xavier nearly fainted. His heart almost exploded. He glanced back at Karlee, whose eyes were big as she smiled and nodded. She was urging him to do it. He turned to Rob and nodded his head, saying sure, but inside, he was shaking.
He’d been right in his own assessment of his voice all along.
“Let’s do something a little harder. How about ‘Bleached Raven’? Do you know it?”
“Sure, I know it.” Duh. His homework was done a long time ago. “Bleached Raven” was one of the most complicated songs to play because of the guitar solo near the end. They set a track and Spencer adjusted the keyboard before he and Rob took up the guitars again. “You take the lead,” Rob said to Xavier before they started. That meant he had the impossible solo to play. Luckily, Xavier spent years practicing until he mastered it. Rob was truly testing his abilities.
“Bleached Raven” was a song about abandoning a life of drugs and darkness to sobriety, but first, the singer dies. He sees the light of heaven and returns to Earth to relive it all. Xavier played his heart out. As he got into the music, he forgot where he was again and just let himself riff. He could do this. His confidence swelled as he got louder, better, and sharper. He felt sure he was impressing them when he had no trouble keeping up with their impromptu jam session. He believed he might have seriously impressed them.
When the crazy guitar solo ended, the sudden silence was deafening. Rob could not stop grinning at him. “Damn, Xavier, just damn. You kept up with us.”
He shrugged. “I tried to.” The sweat beaded off his forehead. Xavier was never more glorious.
“You were reluctant to sing and play in front of Karlee?”
“Well, come on… you’re her dad. And here, in a real studio, makes anyone sound better.”
“No. No, it doesn’t actually,” Spencer argued. “Not unless you got some talent.”
“You do,” Rob said as he studied him.
“Thanks. That means the world coming from you guys obviously. But it’s just me covering you. I mean how many thousands can do that?”
But none of them do it right here, and none of them do it with them. The sheer balls of his plan were incredible and now it was working. It was almost enough to give Xavier an inappropriate, ego-filled grin. Damn. He did it. He played right there with both of them.
“Not many can keep up without making us cringe.”
“Wow. Thanks.” Shrugging again, Xavier unstrapped the instrument and replaced it carefully. “Thanks so much for a rare opportunity. We should…” He glanced at Karlee for help. She rose to her feet and tilted her head as if she were wondering what they should do. “Well. We shouldn’t crash on your recording time. And… I don’t know.” He shrugged and appeared to be at a loss for what to do next.
He hoped Karlee would ask Rob what he thought and felt about Xavier’s performance. He had to wait it out without pressing her until Karlee could reveal something. Then he could figure out his next move. He wasn’t sure what to do now. The reactions from Rob and Spencer validated his lifelong hope. He felt like whooping and celebrating as if he’d just won the state lottery jackpot.
Karlee came forward and they chit-chatted before leaving. Now outside the elegant and well-designed studio, Xavier leaned against the door. “Did that really happen?” he asked as he wilted and shut his eyes. A sense of exhaustion suddenly overwhelmed him.
“It did. For real. And… oh, damn. Xavier, you were… like Rob. No kidding. You were so far beyond what I thought or dared to believe you could be. You are so talented. Like Rob is talented. I mean…”
“I was afraid I’d make a fool of myself.”
“No way. The opposite of that. You left us all stunned in there. They were expecting a nice voice and mediocre playing. I’ve seen some of the musicians that came through here before… and you were right up there with the best. Different from Rob, but also eerily spot on.”
He stepped forward and took her hand in his. Legitimately grateful, he squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes without a smile or smirk. He stared at her with longing and said, “Thank you. No one ever did anything like this for me before. I know you think it’s not a big deal since he’s your dad and all that. But he isn’t my dad and this meant just about everything to me.”
She reached up and touched his lips with her fingertips. “Don’t even say it. You can thank me someday when I do something of true value. Make a sacrifice… Even a small one. This was doing normal stuff like simply hanging at the place where I spent lots of time just sitting and listening. No skin off my nose to ask my dad to let you join him. I get how much it means to you. I’m glad I helped you have it. But don’t mistake that for something that actually cost me and which I chose to give to you despite the cost.”
“I don’t agree with your logic.” He reached up and took her fingers in his, rubbing her knuckles as he grasped her small hand with his. “You said people have been using you to get to him all your life. You took a chance by bringing me to him. You didn’t have to. You would have preferred not to probably, but you did it for me. That’s why I’m so grateful. You did take a risk and you did it for me.”
“Oh? Then I guess I’m wonderful.” She glanced away with a crooked smile.
He grabbed her chin and tilted her face as he stared into her eyes. “You are more than wonderful,” he said softly. His breath blew over her face and his eyes revealed the truthfulness of his statement. He just experienced the greatest moment of his life and she was the reason for it. She didn’t have to do it. She got burned too often to count in the past. She could have easily been used and gotten burned again, but she took a chance and gave her trust to him. He was taking advantage of it. Hurting her, if she knew, but he still valued her sacrifice and the trust she invested in him. She was intriguing, and lovely, really. So good.
Gulping, he leaned forward and pressed his lips on hers in a slow, gentle kiss as deep and sensual as it was chaste and sweet. When he lifted his lips off hers, he kissed her ear before he whispered, “Karlee, you and this mean everything.” She shivered at his soft words and the warmth of his breath in her ear. He kissed and licked the shell of her ear as she huddled closer to him and her body sagged at his tentative touch. She didn’t know that music meant everything to Xavier. Singing. Zenith. Dreams. Opportunity. She was aware of the growing emotions between them and he included that in his statement. Along with everything else.
It was okay if she didn’t get what he meant, or thought he meant several things. It worked for them both. She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck as she pulled him against her body where she held on and hugged him hard.
His heart flipped inside his chest. Startled, he wondered what all these emotions washing over him could mean? Her eagerness to expose him to her stepdad and willingness to ask him to sing with Xavier was a gift from heaven. She had no idea what kind of singer he was or could be. She’d only heard him sing the baking powder jingle he made up. She just acted on what she thought was best. It was hard for Xavier not to adore her. She went so far out of her way for him despite being used before.
But they’d moved beyond that. It included having access to Rob and Zenith, yes, but it developed into something much more. Something that invariably intimidated him and prevented him from thinking about it or cataloguing it. Karlee had an effect on him. Her generosity. Her free spirit. And the way she liked sharing both with him.
She knew little about him aside from his words. Her security most likely retained an excessive background report on him. But she chose to give him a chance. He liked the way she cuddled against him. Holding, caring for, and protecting her were suddenly important to Xavier. She snuggled closer as he seemed to provide her with something she liked or needed.
He wasn’t counting on that. He never had to provide for anyone but himself. This feeling was new to him. By wrapping his arms around her, he seemed to straighten up and get taller. He felt like an alpha male and the need to protect her from harm became his newest duty.
He had the most amazing, productive and also most confusing day of his whole life. He was thrilled because it could be the start of something huge that would involve him in more ways than he ever bargained for. Maybe his conscience was stronger than he realized.