IT DIDN’T TAKE LONG. Xavier’s connection to Rob was like having a ticket on the shiny, gold-paved road to the best in the business. Xavier Montgomery’s existence was cannon-balled into the sky of public awareness. Rob Williams of Zenith, the legendary rock star who never recommended or championed anyone beyond himself and Spencer, and had no history of any mentorship with aspiring musicians, or anyone else who captured his interest, took exception with Xavier.
Xavier was a younger version of Rob. Almost thirty years younger. He was so reminiscent of Rob that plenty of comparisons were immediately made. Photos showing Xavier and Rob standing at the same angles, their guitars across their chests, heads turned and tilted, their messy hair falling over their faces, and only Rob’s tattoos stood out and distinguished him from Xavier. Those pictures would enter the public domain shortly and be shown by dozens of outlets eventually.
A few executives from the biggest record studios gave Rob an ear and he introduced Xavier to them. Dressed in a new suit and plenty of manners and advice from Rob, who coached him through the process, Xavier left Seattle and flew to New York City. Xavier’s small-town heart almost exploded. He was finally there. Doing his life’s dream. Feeling numb, the overwhelming effect was about to gloss and fortify all his ambition. Whatever it cost him to get there, he was finally cashing in for his ultimate reward.
In a blur, every single moment was ingrained inside him forever. Karlee traveled with them and Xavier couldn’t wait for the moment when he returned to her each night. He was so grateful when he sank into her supportive, strong arms and relaxed and told her everything. He valued her opinion and trusted her to tell him the truth. She was always so sensible. Lowkey. Unimpressed. She’d witnessed this before so it was pretty familiar by now.
To think he initially intended to use her as part of his plan filled him with remorse and guilt. Now he couldn’t get through a single day without her. Her steady, gentle, guiding voice was always so strong, clear, and right. Infuriatingly right at times. At the tender age of twenty-one, Karlee had the wisdom, insight and patience of someone three times that. She turned out to be a total asset, one for whom he was deeply devoted, and in loving adoration of. He was glad he had no need to trick her, especially after seeing her sharp, clear mind at work for himself. She was too smart to be drawn in by false pretense, so he counted his compatibility with her a miraculous fluke. Sheer luck. And since then, she captured his heart. Now she meant everything to him.
Xavier feared he was unable to love anyone or surrender himself to a romantic relationship. From what he’d witnessed and experienced in the name of love, it was something that withered on a dirty floor before throwing up and lying in it. What was happening between Karlee and him was so much better than that. But could he call it love?
“It will last for months. No years,” Karlee predicted after Xavier’s first meeting with the suits. The collective enthusiasm about Xavier’s new career was as bright and rich as Rob’s. “They all but gleam dollar signs in their eyes when they watch you. Be careful. Don’t let anyone use you. They want you and will take any advantage they can in you being as new as you are to the business. They all know how to work it.”
And she was right. They did want Xavier. On their terms.
He started writing lyrics and experimenting and before long, he gathered a band to play with him. A rhythm and bass guitarist, a drummer and Xavier, who did the singing and played lead guitar. They dismissed two drummers when they failed to keep the beat to his songs and neither could play the keyboards. The band had no name yet.
The producers agreed that Xavier would be the face of the sound. The band wouldn’t be exclusively his and the members could be replaced as needed.
They decided to give him a stage name. It sounded so stupid and artificial that Xavier’s jaw ached when he heard it, but they claimed it would sell. Xavier Moon. Yikes. He hated it. But here he was.
The rest of his life was pure heaven. Given the time and endless resources that a god deserved, he never expected to achieve half of this. Not even in the best-case scenario. He finally enjoyed every minute of every day doing what he did. He wrote down his thoughts, recorded his music and did it all over again.
The buzz was inevitable. First a pre-buzz. It was hard to avoid with the backdrop of Zenith.
“But I could fail as epically as I skyrocketed. Having Zenith in people’s minds and their sound, I might simply crash into mediocrity.” He always expressed his inner distress and insecurity to Karlee.
No back rubs or prop-ups. She shrugged and replied, “You might at that. So you have to live up to it. You’re not Zenith. Go with your own sound, which is more popular anyway. Go hard with that.”
She was smart about music and the various genres that people liked to hear. His lyrics for ballads showed a potential that he didn’t pursue at first. He liked the edgy, raw sound that Zenith was known for and the darker themes and tones. Karlee nixed that in the bud.
“Nah. You don’t have it. Even if you lived it. Your sound tends to make people sway and sing along. You need to go harder with that.”
She was right. As soon as she articulated Xavier’s style, Rob and Spencer heard it too. They guided his words and notes, giving him the blueprints to build a sand castle from a pile of sand.
“How did you know?”
She shrugged, lifting her eyebrows with practiced nonchalance. “Hours of listening. Hours on end. Remember? I probably know you better than you do when it comes to your own sound.”
“Obviously.” He scoffed but smiled. Sometimes she was uncanny and unforgiving. He preferred some encouragement and praise and support. But he never expected it from Karlee. She was knife-edged in her critiques and opinions. And she was usually right.
Community college was such a waste for her. She went back to finish it out, as half-assed as it was. When fall came, Xavier did not re-enroll.
Xavier and his band started performing. First, they took gigs everywhere that was local. Again, Rob opened all the doors. They played the songs they believed would draw the most fans. The pop/ballad brand was at Karlee’s insistence. They played at a club in Seattle that was known for showcasing new talent, and some big names had come from there.
Nerves gnawed away at Xavier’s stomach lining as he stared out at the audience from the side of the stage. His guitar hung off his neck. He regretted everything evil and wrong and manipulative he had to do to get where he was now. His growing nerves were replaced by hope. God, please let this performance be as natural as it was with Rob. He didn’t know what to expect. His months of experience in the studio would have been rare for most new performers. Live crowds were yet another challenge.
Karlee touched his shoulder, leaning her face into his arm and kissing the top of it as she slipped near him. “Just do what you do for me.”
He nodded. “But I love you, so it’s easy to sing for you.”
“I wasn’t at first though. Not until you won me over. Rob’s daughter, right? So just use your charm and you’ll win them over.”
Finally, Xavier’s turn to play arrived. The drummer went out first, followed by Xavier and the bass guitarist. The lights were blinding despite his previous rehearsal to prepare for it. The crowd blurred and gave them a smattering of polite applause. How should they react? Xavier felt as naïve as a brand new kitten.
Without hesitation, they started. Halfway through the song, Xavier looked out and saw all the hands moving. Fingers pointing up, a good sign they were rocking with them, was a relief as well as a surprise. Xavier smiled to himself. He was good, no, great, and Rob saw it, Karlee did and he did and now, he simply had to share that with the world.
So he did.
It was incredible.
Coming off stage, Xavier was sweaty, hot, buzzed and excited. It was the greatest high of his life. He was flushed and shaking with emotion. Congratulations and cat calls could be heard. The crowd responded with cheers and clapping. Damn. Oh, damn. It was happening. He realized it in that moment.
Karlee suddenly was on him. Out of nowhere, she launched herself at him and kissed his mouth in a heated tongue-kiss that was so unlike her usually restrained self. Especially in public. “That was perfect. So hot. Xavier! God, it’s going to happen.”
He grinned at her happy face. Her eyes were so clear and she was as flushed with excitement as he. “I’ve never seen you like this.”
“I’ve never felt like this before.” She threw her head back with a laugh. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was high or drunk. But she was neither, just elated with joy. “I loved it. And knowing that I’m yours… God, it was so sexy… I can’t tell you the things we’re going to go do to celebrate.”
His entire body stirred, along with deep kisses, touches and his sultry voice. His heart also swelled and expanded at hearing her words. She believed in him. He held her face and said, “I will never do this, not one time, without you being right here. Waiting for me. Watching me perform. Okay? Every time.”
As idealist and ridiculous as it sounded, he wanted her there for him and with him. He needed Karlee in more ways than ever. And he never expected her reaction to mean more to him than any other. More than any executive producer investing into his future by banking on his talent. Not even Rob meant more to him now. No. It was all about her.
She laughed, sounding surprisingly giddy. “Every time? That’s imposs—”
He stopped her with his mouth and shook his head, saying, “Every time. It’s possible. If this is possible, then anything is possible. Please, it’s all for you. I have to be with you. Us. Remember?”
Her warm breath smelled sweet. “Us. Yes. Okay, I’ll be here every time.” She hugged him again and said, “Okay, let’s go pimp you out.”
Another reason why he loved her. She was so authentic and genuine but she understood the need for commercial success and financial independence. She knew he wasn’t giving up his art or his vision. She snorted at the idea of Xavier being a sellout. “How can you be a sellout if you don’t sell? And maybe it’s not art if only a few people like it. I never understood the weird idea that art was only valuable when a few high-browed people liked it.”
He loved this girl. For everything she said.
Xavier started playing everywhere. The area exploded with unlimited possibilities. Private parties hired him. The more often he played, the more popular he became. Several Seahawk players booked him to sing at varying types of parties for them. It was wild to meet the famous ball players and witness their fantastic houses he was paid to perform in.
The first paycheck he earned nearly got framed. Xavier quit his job and school. He gave up his one-room in the shared apartment and stayed in Karlee’s house.
From there, Xavier’s life exploded.
For him. For them. For everyone.
A significant amount of crowd and buzz building was starting to follow them. Xavier only got better with each live performance. Singing in the garden shed in Montesano never prepared him for having hundreds of eyes riveted on him as he sang his songs. New songs. His following grew each week as they played in the clubs, bars, and for private affairs. Some were average, casual venues and others were pretty formal. Political celebrations and other celebrity fetes drew the focus on Xavier from many other sources with clout.
He launched a YouTube channel to post every performance they did and then some. In reality, that was all Karlee’s idea. Disdainful of social media for herself, she refused to have an account. She had one platform that she rarely used so it was hard to find her. But as they started the climb in popularity, Karlee revealed a surprising pulse on the marketing aspects. Taking most of the videos, she posted them on his other accounts too, although he wasn’t huge online. Starting with only a few followers, Xavier slowly doubled, then tripled, then grew ten times larger, expanding his following exponentially. Karlee came up with several hashtags, the most popular being the #thexmfactor.
He loved every moment of it. The energy of performing with a live crowd was something he wanted to do every night. Truly. Why take a break? This was better than all the breaks of any exotic vacation he could think of. Doing his favorite pastime and finding an audience for it? A screaming, writhing, sign-waving crowd? The first time he heard the chorus of his own song being sung by the crowd, he stopped dead, mid-stage, and let it all soak in. The pinnacle of success. He hoped he would never forget how it felt to climb the mountain, to reach the top, and stare at the results in an out-of-body experience. It was absolutely fantastic.
Right there beside him, before and after, was Karlee. She fussed over his well being. Made sure he ate and stayed hydrated. She set his practice times and rehearsals. Like a manager, she popped up to handle all his backstage requirements and scheduling. People started to contact her regularly and several times Xavier had to consult her when asked a complicated question. Most of the time, Karlee, alone, knew the answer.
She thrived on it too. She was very good at following details and making deals. No one impressed her, so negotiations failed to intimidate her. Xavier was no more than a scared puppy, being so desperate to make it, and receive public notice and acclaim that he acted beholden to the club owners and organizers who hired them. Karlee was the safety factor, never allowing anyone to screw her or him. And the mega numbers she was used to came in handy. She never let Xavier perform beneath a certain set price, which also rose with their popularity and following.
Staying in the bigger cities, he performed most weekend nights at places like Seattle, Tacoma, Olympia, Vancouver and Vancouver, BC. They traveled the I-5 corridor, seeking pockets of underground live music that featured niche performers. Even in those smaller venues, Xavier started to manifest a rabid following.
They ate their meals out a lot. Xavier never had extra money to randomly dine out or stay in hotels before. If he did, it was always cheap and questionable, and now? They could afford a variety of exquisite meals and no expense was too high, so Xavier got a little decadent over it. Karlee laughed one morning after wiping the whipped cream from the corner of his mouth. He’d just finished a heavenly strawberry and whipped cream Belgium waffle. His new favorite breakfast.
“You’re not going to be a lean, sinewy rock star if you keep this diet up.”
He licked the cream off the fork and then grabbed her finger and licked it off. Kissing her, he grinned. “That’s actually true. I’ll be so bloated and round like Santa Claus. I’ll be unable to get onto the stage. You’re probably right. Maybe I should make better culinary choices.”
She beamed.
“What?” he questioned her serious look and smile. Like a proud parent whose child just qualified for a medal. “You look as if I passed a test. I didn’t know I was even taking one.”
“You did pass with flying colors. That was the first time I warned you about getting too used to a life of luxury and instead of doubling down or blowing me off, you listened to my advice and even agreed with me.”
“Eating less Belgian waffles is the equivalent of passing a morality test?”
She leaned over and kissed him soundly on the lips. “No, but when it’s drugs, alcohol and sex—instead of waffles, that are coming from the most beautiful women and men you could ever imagine and there’s the potential for an orgy—you might turn it down. All of it.”
Xavier nearly choked on the ice water he swallowed. Setting the glass down, he traced his finger through the drops of condensation. “You’re comparing too many desserts to suddenly being offered drugs and a sex orgy? Saying no to the first, it only follows that I will refuse the next? Was that my first threshold to cross?”
“Yes. Think of all the people who start at point A and never get to point Z. I just want you to make it. So yes, it was a test of sorts. If you can keep the balance, and enjoy these new things, they are a treat.”
“Especially for me. Karlee, I couldn’t have afforded a breakfast at this place in my whole lifetime. Not just while I was at college. Okay?”
Her mouth became a soft, caring smile. It was a very untypical expression and he knew she only directed it at him. “I know. You’ll be more susceptible and more cautious because it is all still new and needs to be approached with caution and appreciation.”
He tilted his head. “You don’t think something in-between might be a better compromise than that? What if I OD on the strawberry/whipped cream waffles, but refuse to use cocaine? Or heroin. Or cheat on you?”
Her mouth tilted in an amused half smile. “You think I’m being overly dramatic. Or an alarmist. But I’ve watched it. In real time. I’ve listened to Rob’s stories for years. So think about what you want. This is just the start. Traveling, touring, living on the road, has its own perks and hardships. The lifestyle has taken down far older, better grounded and more mature people than you and me.”
“And couples with a stronger base and perhaps even a marriage?”
She gripped the linen napkin and wiped her mouth before she set it down. Shaking her head, she pressed her lips together. “Yes.”
They shared a corner booth. He slid around it and kept his gaze on hers. Typical Karlee, her answer was honest, direct and unexplained. “I agree. The statistics are probably against us. We’re so young. I’m just starting here. But you grew up with it. You saw it firsthand. So your perspective is very valid. You’ve already guided me over several pitfalls by insisting I play local and get my name around. And not eating too many waffles.” Resting an arm around her shoulders, he kissed her lips. He stared at her face as he added, “It’s a metaphor for all the evils that will ruin me and us. I promise I won’t let fame affect us. They’re just words right now, because I haven’t been exposed yet. My future can be stunning and strange and yeah, ego-busting and I can’t predict any of it. But I promise not to fall into drugs or alcohol or wild orgies with another woman… or a man.” He slipped a smile in and she smiled back.
He continued, “Promises are just words. Time will tell. But hold in your heart as I do mine, that Rob and Rebecca made it. Your own parents made it. Others see them as role models. Are they real? Has Rob ever cheated? Rumors and nasty innuendoes are irrelevant to the truth. We know that he is the absolute real deal when it comes to fidelity. I’ve never known a couple as healthy and happy who still like each other so much after all their years of marriage. Never mind all the stress and pressures they navigated.”
“They were older too. My mom was thirty-three when fame landed on them. Vast difference in their viewpoints and maturity and ours.”
“Agreed. But we have the benefit of their experience as role models. They are what support our dream. And you know about all this from literally living through it. We stand a better chance than most people. We’re honest, right? We are not afraid to admit the good, the bad and the ugly. No one can accuse you of sugar-coating or holding back the truth, huh?”
She smiled and a soft blush stained her cheeks. It was rare as she answered, “True. I am.”
“Well, with you, so am I. So we stay brutally honest. Tell each other the good, the bad and the ugly. Always. Right?”
He raised his fist in the air. She stared and fist-bumped him back as she rolled her eyes. “Is this a new bro-version of a blood oath?”
“It is. Now give me your sincere affirmation.”
Eyes rolling, her mouth a line of sarcasm, she bumped his fist and said, “Right.”
He laughed and then his mirth faded when he tucked her closer to him and kissed her a long time to seal it. His throat closed with gulped emotions. He meant every word. He may have used her to get here, and start all of this, but he could not take another step without her. In any direction. From now forward, he had to be brutally open and honest. Always. Their first meeting was the only thing he kept from her. The rest was as real as his damn middle finger. There was no reason to destroy the incredible, solid, golden bond they had for a miscalculation on his part. Something that was thankfully relegated to the past. Something he wouldn’t do now. He’d grown a lot from that time. He’d changed.
She kept their relationship honest, open, and real. It was fun even. All of it. Her caring could be lasting, effective and true. It wouldn’t wither and die or betray him. Those were the lessons he learned from Karlee Randall and her family.
They took him in and he considered them his family too now. Despite his nefarious plans to ingratiate himself in their lives, since joining them, an organic friendship developed into what it was now. His heart belonged to his family, which he considered them.
If he hadn’t initiated his original plan, he and Karlee would have never met. They would not have grown close, or made love and fallen in love. He didn’t regret a thing. He realized his motivation was a mistake. That would not be his decision today, not since meeting Karlee.
Love was never a goal for him. Now that it was, though, he could not exist without it. He loved Karlee deeply with a singular focus of an alpha wolf in a pack. Karlee and her family were his pack now. She was his mate. His former life as a teen, a youth, and a college student before meeting her was unimportant and irrelevant now. There wasn’t any life before Karlee. The honesty that Karlee demonstrated was the best way he liked to live. He’d been malnourished in food, comfort and love until Karlee entered his life.
The questionable choices he made were his own fault. Guilt haunted him at times and a growing desire to tell the truth one hundred percent created a mental debate that he couldn’t decide on. He now knew better, so he acted better. Back then, he was in survival mode, doing the best he could. If he hadn’t, they wouldn’t be canoodling right now in a restaurant booth in Portland, Oregon after another successful performance at a local sports bar. He was kissing her mouth and she smiled with adoration at him.
“Karlee, do you think you could be my permanent manager or something to that effect? I mean, you’re so good at it and you already do most of it. Do you want to be my manager officially?”
Her gaze narrowed and she puckered her mouth before taking a drink of coffee. Then she nodded. “Yes, I came to the same conclusion. I’m so good at it. And seeing how badly you need it. You’d pay to play at all the venues, you’re so transparent in your excitement to be there and so grateful for the gig. You need a harder core mindset. They pay you for a service you alone can provide. Don’t get so sentimental about it.”
He tugged on her hair in an affectionate gesture, conveying his total faith in her advice. “That’s why I want you for a manager. I prefer to deal with one thing only. My music. I am that grateful to play it. There are so many musicians who are as good or better than me. So when I get a chance to play, yeah, I would do it for the sheer pleasure.” His uncharacteristic vulnerability from the abundance of emotions he was experiencing shone in his eyes. He closed them and slumped down in his seat. “God, I’m so happy to be doing this, Karlee. With you. It scares me though.”
She nestled into him and rested her head on his shoulder. Sighing, she said, “I’m happy too. I love hearing you and helping you. So yes, I’ll be your manager and we’ll do this together. But you are the talent and way beyond anyone else local so they are damn lucky to get you. You get to be the artist, and I’ll be the business end of it. If you trust me.”
He tilted his face to meet her frank stare. Smiling, he said the easiest thing he could, “With my life. My career. My money. My everything.” He touched her cheek. “I’ll sign any contract you give me. I trust you without any reservation.”
Her eyes sparkled with emotions. “I trust you too. With everything I value.” She straightened up, taking the bill and rising to her feet. “This is just the start. Ironically, my upbringing prepared me perfectly for this role. I honestly never considered it until now. But I will make your dream come true. You’ll see.” She flipped around, swinging her hair behind her and he feared his heart would explode from the swelling in his chest. He never expected that. It was so much better than doing this all alone.