Chapter Twenty

When Alex rounded the corner of Julia’s house and entered her back yard, he found Ava playing by herself in her sandbox, plastic pails, shovels and toys lined up on the wooden ledge surrounding the box. She jumped out of the sandbox as soon as she saw him, toys and sand scattering as she ran toward him.

“Dr. Alex!”

He knelt and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her silky hair. God, I love this child. He had to talk to Julia, had to find out what was going on with her. The way she’d left that morning, the look on her face, had scared him as much as it had puzzled him. Didn’t she understand they had something very special between them? To hell with Wyatt Stewart and the busybody gossips of Lobster Cove. She and Ava meant everything to him. They belonged together as a family.

He set Ava at arm’s distance and looked into her face. “Sweet Pea, I need to talk to your mom about some important grownup stuff. Can you give us some privacy and stay out here in the yard to play?”

“Are you mad at my mom?”

He smoothed her hair. “No, baby. I could never be mad at her.”

“Mommy was crying. She thought I didn’t hear her, but I did.”

She looked so sad that Alex wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right. But he couldn’t promise her anything. He was suddenly afraid he wouldn’t be able to convince Julia to let him into her life.

He hugged Ava once more and kissed her hair. She held onto him so tightly he had to gently peel her little arms from around his neck, and he understood that she was as scared as he was.

Alex got to his feet and, with a smile for Ava, made his way to the back door and knocked. Julia answered a moment later. Without a word, she stepped aside to let him in.

He followed her into the kitchen and when she turned to face him, he studied her face. She looked resigned, as if she’d made up her mind. Had she decided they were over? The thought sent a chill up his spine.

“I couldn’t go to work this afternoon without knowing you were okay,” he said. “You were so upset this morning.”

“Yes,” she said. “I was. But I’m okay now.”

“Are we okay, Julia?”

She looked away. “Last night was wonderful, Alex. I don’t want you to think I didn’t love being with you. But we both know it can’t happen again.”

“I don’t know that at all. You’re acting like we’ve done something wrong, and we haven’t. Neither of us is married. There’s no reason we can’t be together, despite your father-in-law’s attitude. Your ex-father-in-law.”

“You don’t understand what it’s like living in a small town. I’m the high school principal. I have to maintain a squeaky clean reputation. How am I going to face the school board, of which Wyatt Stewart is chairman, with any kind of professional credibility, when all they’ll be thinking about is that I’m having an affair with you?”

“You’re not giving the people of Lobster Cove much credit. I think they’re much more open-minded than you think. They’re not going to condemn you for being in love.”

She visibly flinched at that, and began to pace. “I have to face those open-minded people at a public meeting next week. The future of the daycare at my school is at stake, and probably my job, as well.”

“I’ll come with you. We’ll stand together and show the town we’re a couple, that we’re committed to each other. Then they’ll understand that what we have together is more than just an affair.”

She shook her head. “If you stood at the podium with me, it would fuel the gossip. You’d just make things worse.”

He drew a hand through his hair in frustration. Why was she being so obstinate? “I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about me. Anybody who wants to gossip about me can go right ahead, because I haven’t done anything wrong, and people who know me and care about me in this town understand that.”

“That’s fine for you. You don’t have to live in this town. I do.”

He threw up his hands in exasperation. “Have you not listened to anything I’ve said to you? I told you, I want to stay here in Lobster Cove with you.”

“You’re not going to say that when people start gossiping about you.”

“Dammit, Julia, if the gossip bothers you so much, why do you want to stay here? We can go anywhere. Come with me to San Diego. I’m sure you could get a job there.”

He knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as the words left his mouth. Julia’s eyes flared with anger.

“I knew you didn’t mean any of it. Why would someone like you want to stay in this place?”

“I meant every word. I want to make a life here in Lobster Cove.”

“For how long? Until something better comes along?”

“No! Why are you doing this? Why are you deliberately twisting what I say and trying to pick a fight?”

“Because I know that no matter what you say now, you won’t stay in Lobster Cove forever. You’ll get a wonderful opportunity somewhere else and you’ll want to take it. But this is my home. This is where I want to raise my daughter, and I’m never going to let anyone drag me away again. I’m staying right here.”

He stared at her a moment, the pieces of the puzzle beginning to fall into place. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You’re afraid what happened with your ex-husband is going to happen again with me. But I’ve got news for you, sweetheart. I’m not Russ. I’m not so jealous of your career and your success that I’m going to insist you give up your job and move away. I mean what I say. I won’t promise to love you and then let you down. I would never, ever, abandon my child. I’m in this thing for the long haul because I love you, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

Her chin began to quiver, and he knew she was close to tears again. “I think you should go.”

“Julia—”

“Please, Alex.” One tear rolled down her cheek.

He wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and hold her. He wanted to dry her tears and tell her everything was going to be okay. But he had to let her work things out on her own, no matter how much it killed him.

“All right, I’ll go. I love you, Julia.” Maybe if he kept telling her, she’d believe it someday.

He could only pray that day would come soon.

****

As soon as Alex entered the examining room, Melissa Maloney’s face lit up with a wide smile.

“There he is! My favorite doctor!”

Alex laughed. “Careful, Melissa. You’re going to give me a swelled head.”

“I don’t care if your head gets to be the size of a pumpkin. If you hadn’t figured out what was wrong with me, I don’t know what I would have done.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Still tired, but not as bad. And look at this.” She removed the hat she’d been wearing. A new growth of hair was beginning to fill in the bald spots on her head. Melissa ran her hand through it. “Pretty soon I’ll have my crowning glory back.”

“You will. Can I see your elbows? How’s the rash?”

She pushed up the sleeves of her sweater to reveal the healed skin. “Almost gone.”

“Any recurrence of the urinary tract infection?”

“I’m pleased to report I’ve been peeing without pain.”

Alex laughed again. “I’m glad to hear it. We can’t cure lupus, but we can control it. You’ll have to take medications for the rest of your life. There are lifestyle changes you’ll need to make, too, like staying out of the sun, and avoiding stress. They can both trigger symptoms.” He handed her some information he’d found online.

“Thank you,” she said. “The medications are expensive, but Davy’s going to take another job in town this winter to help pay for it. We’ll manage.”

Alex nodded. He wished there were some way of helping Melissa with her medical expenses the way they’d helped Edie.

“I’ve got to tell you, Doc, if you hadn’t figured out what I had when you did, I don’t know what I would have done. I was at the end of my rope.” Melissa’s usual effervescence disappeared, her face growing very sober. “I’m not too proud to tell you I thought about ending it all, I was in that much anguish. The only thing that kept me going was my kids. I had to live for them, get better for them.”

Alex tried not to let his shock show. The thought that she’d nearly killed herself was frightening. Thank God they’d been able to find the cause of her problems.

“I don’t want you to try to deal with this on your own. If you ever feel that kind of distress again, you can come to me and we’ll figure something out. We’ll get you some help. Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“It’s possible with this disease to have flare-ups from time to time. I want you to be prepared for that and know it’s not uncommon. I found some lupus support groups online. It might be helpful to talk to people who live with the disease. The information is in those papers I just gave you.”

“I’ll look into it, thank you.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, Dr. Campbell, for my life back. You’ve saved me and my family.”

Alex didn’t know what to say. “You’re welcome. I’m really glad you’re feeling better.”

“Believe me, so am I!”

After he checked her blood pressure and temperature, he sent her to the lab for some routine blood work. He was determined to keep her disease under control, at least as much as it was in his power to do.

He’d never quite realized before what a profound effect he could have on someone’s life. Sure, he’d helped save lives in the ER in San Diego. But this seemed different somehow, more personal.

Since he’d been working in the family clinic in Lobster Cove he’d dealt with a host of diseases and conditions, everything from pregnancy to Alzheimer’s, cancer to lupus. Every day he had to bring his A-game to work. The work was challenging and stimulating, and used every bit of his training.

It was suddenly very clear. This was what he was meant to do. And Lobster Cove was where he was meant to do it.

****

For the next week, Julia immersed herself in work. She spent hours preparing her speech for the public meeting, compiling statistics on her daycare and on similar daycares in schools across the country. She and Ava spent time with her mother every day after school, as well as on the weekend. Their visits gave her father a short daily respite and gave her the opportunity to monitor her mother and get to know the person she was becoming.

But no matter how hard she worked, no matter how busy she kept herself, she couldn’t stop thinking about Alex. He was in her thoughts constantly. She kept going over and over the things he’d said to her.

You’re afraid what happened with your ex-husband is going to happen again with me. But I’ve got news for you, sweetheart. I’m not Russ.

Was that what she’d done? Compared him to Russ? Assumed he would behave in the same selfish ways her ex-husband had? Alex was nothing like Russ.

She’d loved Russ passionately, had since she was fifteen years old. She’d done everything she could to make him happy. But over the years she’d learned that Russ’s jokes and good humor sometimes hid petty jealousies and barbed comments, sometimes directed at others, often at her. His last painful comments and his final betrayal had hurt beyond measure. Inside the bedroom, she hadn’t understood what it meant to be a generous lover until she’d made love with Alex.

Had Russ damaged her capacity to trust so badly that she couldn’t bring herself to believe Alex could want her? That he would want to stay with her?

On the evening of the public meeting, Julia dressed carefully, selecting a conservative gray suit, a buttoned-down white blouse, and modest black heels. She kept her makeup to a minimum and her hair in a simple low ponytail, going for a look she hoped projected professionalism and respectability.

She dropped Ava off at Tracy’s house, knowing Lily would be at the public meeting and Chloe wasn’t allowed to babysit at her house anymore. Tracy gave her a hug for good luck and wished her well.

She was going to need all the luck she could get.

The high school gym was nearly full. A lot of people had turned out, many who didn’t have children in the high school. Some, like Edie and Aaron, were there to support her, but many others had taken Ralph’s side. Others, she suspected, were attending simply because they expected a good fireworks display. She’d do her best to give them what they wanted. She wasn’t going down without a fight.

The gym stage had been set up with two tables on either side of a podium, with her on one side, Ralph on the other, and the moderator, a member of the school board, in the middle. She was surprised that Wyatt, as chairman of the school board, wasn’t acting as moderator. She wondered what it meant.

Soon the lights in the gym were dimmed and it was time to start. The moderator introduced both her and Ralph and briefly stated which side of the issue each was on. As if everyone on the island didn’t already know where they stood.

Then the moderator asked her to give her opening remarks. Julia rose on shaking knees and took her place at the podium. She thanked the moderator, and took a moment to look out at the audience. It was up to her to convince them that the daycare was worthwhile. Chloe and the girls who’d returned to school because of the daycare depended on her.

“I want to thank the school board for arranging this meeting, and I want to thank each of you here for coming out tonight. That tells me you understand the importance of education for our children, and the need for all of them to receive a quality education.

“The school board, members of the community, and many high school staff members and I came up with the idea for the daycare in Lobster Cove High School in response to a need we saw in the community. Teenage girls who’d had babies were dropping out of school and weren’t coming back. One of the biggest reasons they weren’t coming back was because they lacked childcare. And once a student is out of school for a year or two, they find it very difficult to go back. What chance does a girl without even a high school diploma have in finding a decent job? Do we really want these girls to fall into poverty, and take their children with them?

“We had the space in the high school, and we determined that by also babysitting children from working families in the community we’d be able to fund the daycare using only minimal resources from the high school and the school board. In getting teenage mothers back into the classroom, the daycare is also providing a much-needed service to this community.

“I know many parents here are concerned that having the daycare in the school promotes the idea of teenagers having sex and glamorizes motherhood for teenage girls. Nothing could be further from the truth. As part of our health curriculum, grade nine and ten students have been required since the term began in September to spend time in the daycare helping to look after the young children there. They are learning the real consequences of having sex. There’s nothing like changing dirty diapers or having a baby vomit on your shirt to drive home the point that if they have unprotected sex, a baby, a real live baby that needs constant care and attention, could be the result.

“In addition, one of our teenage mothers has come forward this term to speak to her peers. She tells them about the upset to her family and the sacrifices her parents have had to make because of her pregnancy, her struggle to finish school, and how much harder it’s going to be for her to go on to further education. She also tells them about the assumptions many people have made about her character and her intelligence, and how hurtful and damaging those assumptions have been to her. We’re not sugar-coating anything.

“In conclusion, I want to ask for your continued assistance in bringing high quality academic education to Lobster Cove. I need your support to teach our students the life skills, the empathy for others, and the practical knowledge they’ll need to become healthy, caring, contributing members of our community. Thank you.”

There was generous applause for her remarks, and some people, led by Edie and Aaron, stood to clap for her. She resumed her seat and exhaled. The moderator returned to the podium.

“I’d like to now call on Ralph Sykes for his opening remarks.”

Julia tensed in anticipation of the slam she was sure Ralph would make against her. He made his way to the podium, but instead of the bluster she’d expected, he was surprisingly subdued.

“I too would like to thank everyone for coming out tonight and showing such support for education in our community. But if you were looking for a spirited debate on the plusses and minuses of the high school daycare, I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint you. I have listened intently to Mrs. Stewart’s opening remarks, and I have come to the conclusion that I have misinterpreted her intentions regarding the daycare.”

Julia stared at him in astonishment. What was going on? Ralph had adamantly opposed the daycare from its inception. A murmur of surprise rippled through the crowd. Obviously others were wondering the same thing.

“Mrs. Stewart makes a good case for using the daycare as a kind of real-life lab to teach teenagers about the consequences of having sex. As you may know, I’m a proponent for abstinence for teenagers. Unfortunately, that message isn’t always heard. I recently discovered that my own teenage daughter will soon be having a baby.”

Excited whispers echoed through the gymnasium. Julia was shocked he’d speak of Chloe’s pregnancy in such a public way, but perhaps it was for the best. People would find out soon enough. Might as well come clean.

“My wife and daughter and I have decided that she will be keeping the baby and will likely be taking advantage of the daycare in order to continue her schooling, so it would be the height of hypocrisy for me to advocate getting rid of a facility my family will be using. I will be happy to take any questions you may have, and I’m sure Mrs. Stewart will answer questions also.”

A few questions were asked, mainly about financing the daycare, the number of children currently enrolled, and expected future enrollment. Julia easily answered them all. With Ralph’s capitulation, all the fight had gone out of the room, and debate was essentially over. When there were no more questions from the floor, the moderator called an end to the meeting. Julia sighed in relief.

She made her way off the stage and headed for the exit, wanting nothing more than to pick up Ava and go home. She was stopped by several people who wanted to shake her hand and congratulate her on a job well done. Their praise came as a total surprise.

She met Edie and Aaron near the coat racks. Edie gave her a fierce hug.

“You were wonderful. So poised and confident, and totally in control.”

She had to smile at that. “It’s a good thing you couldn’t see my knees shaking behind the podium. I was terrified.”

“Then you hid it well,” Aaron said.

“You know what they say,” Julia said. “Never let them see you sweat.”

“You’re definitely a master at hiding your true feelings.” Edie took Aaron’s arm. “We’d better get going. We told my mom we’d be home early.”

“Thank you for coming. I really appreciate your support.”

Edie kissed her. “It was the least we could do for you, Jules.”

They retrieved their coats and left. Julia was about to do the same when Lily stopped her. Wyatt stood a couple of steps behind her.

“Wonderful job, Julia,” Lily said. “I’m so proud of you for standing up to Ralph, and fighting for what you believe in.”

Julia embraced her. “Thank you. That means a lot to me, coming from you.”

Wyatt stepped forward, a slight smile on his face. He offered his hand in a shake. “You did a good job. Congratulations.”

She didn’t know what to say. Wasn’t he on Ralph’s side? Wyatt was the last person she’d expected congratulations from, especially after the fiasco at Alex’s front door. But his expression told her he meant what he said.

“I…thank you.”

Lily touched her arm. “We should be going, but we’ll see you and Ava very soon.”

“Good night, Lily. Wyatt.”

“Good night,” he said with a nod.

She watched them leave the school, still reeling from Wyatt’s unexpected praise and trying to decipher what it meant. She grabbed her coat and started to put it on.

“Here, let me help you.”

The sound of Alex’s voice just behind her sent a shiver rippling down her back. He held her coat, and she pushed her arms inside, then turned to look at him. His dark eyes were warm as he looked down at her with a fond smile. After the way they’d parted, after the things she’d said, she was surprised by his demeanor.

“I didn’t know you were here.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it,” he said, still smiling. “I got here a little late, but I caught the end of your speech. Your passion really shone through. Everyone could feel it.”

“I…I believe in the project.” When he looked at her like that, with such intensity and emotion shining in his eyes, she could barely breathe.

“You should let yourself express that passion more often. You’re the strongest woman I know, with the possible exceptions of my grandmother and my mother.”

She was genuinely touched. “Thank you. I know that’s high praise, considering what you’ve told me about them.”

“It is. It seems I’ve been blessed with a lot of strong women in my life.”

Someone diverted her attention for a moment to say hello and congratulate her on a speech well said, and when she turned back to Alex his face was more serious.

“I wish you’d believe me when I say I want to stay here in Lobster Cove and make a life with you,” he said softly in a voice meant only for her. “I wish you’d believe that I love you.”

She stared at him, not able to speak or look away. She wanted to believe him, wanted it with every fiber of her being. But she was afraid. How could she accept the love he offered? What if he changed his mind and left her? She couldn’t go through that again. Russ’s betrayal had broken her inside, and she wasn’t sure the wound was completely healed. Worse, Russ had broken her trust. Would she ever believe in love again?

“I know this isn’t the time or the place,” he said, glancing away to watch people visiting in the hallway. “I have to go. Any time you want to talk, let me know.”

She desperately wanted to kiss him, to feel his arms securely around her, but as he said, this wasn’t the time or place. All she could do was nod. He smiled and walked away.

Julia watched Alex until he left the building and was swallowed by the night. She made herself button her coat and put one foot in front of the other to leave the school.

His words rang in her ears. I wish you’d believe that I love you. Despite every obstacle she’d thrown between them, Alex still maintained he loved her. He hadn’t abandoned her when things got tough. That had to mean something.

But Julia was afraid to hope.