Wait, Annie thought. Hold up. It’s L.A. There could be a lot of dead guy’s girlfriends. It didn’t have to be a new dead guy in Susan’s Pet Emporium, did it?
I don’t see Bubbles, the ghost of Mr. Gunk said. Where’s the cat? Is he okay? I think he was coming down with a cold earlier. He was sneezing.
“The cat’s right here, Mr. Gunk,” Annie said and patted the lime green pet transporter, the womp-womp headache escalated to a stabbity-stab pain behind one of her eyes that was now tearing. She squinted at the phone, and blinked. Tears seeped out of one eye. She wiped them off her face and came away with black mascara on one finger. Terrific. She undoubtedly resembled a one-eyed raccoon. But she didn’t care.
Annie didn’t care because today was still going to be the best Valentine’s Day ever. She was not the first person to go through trials and tribulations on a holiday designed around love and happiness. She continued to hold out hope. She texted Rafe back.
Annie: What dead guy’s girlfriend?
Annie: Can you be more specific?
Raphael: No.
Raphael: Can’t talk about it. Order me an insalata caprese, calamari, and the fettucine alfredo. I’ll be done in a few hours.
Raphael: Sorry I’m screwing up Valentine’s Day.
Annie: No worries.
Annie: Just a normal day.
Annie: Nothing special about today.
Now her other eye watered and she tried not to wipe it because she had the whole one-eyed sad raccoon look happening and it would be a shame to ruin that by morphing into the cliché two-eyed thing. She texted Rafe again.
Annie: Sadly, you’ll miss out on my super sexy Valentine’s Day look.
Annie: You have no idea what you’re missing, buddy.
He was missing a train wreck, that’s what he was missing. But right now wasn’t about Annie. Right now was about taking care of this cat. After that, starting the investigation into who killed Gussie Gunk.
Raphael: I’ll see all that Annie Graceland hotness later tonight.
Raphael: I’ll text you when I’m on my way.
Annie: Perfect.
Annie put the phone away. Best to get this over with. She’d figure out who was going to take care of the cat. She’d call the restaurant, order food, get her zipper fixed at the beauty parlor. Oh, screw that. She’d change clothes, wash off her runny mascara, grab painkillers for the headache, and work on who killed the dead guy. Because one thing Annie knew from experience was that ghosts did not go away until she’d tracked down their killers. Then she could send them to the Light.
“Let’s go, Mr. Gunk. I know this is going to come as a big surprise to you, but sadly, even though it’s Valentine’s Day, I must be the bearer of bad tidings. You’re dead.”
I already know that, he said.
“You do?”
Yup.
“Okay.” Well that had gone easier than she’d thought. “Who does this cat belong to?”
Bubbles is a beauty, isn’t he? Gussie said. Tammy Lynn of Wetumpka, Alabama. She texted me before the launch and said she was stuck in traffic. She should be here any moment. Awfully nice of you to look after him. Is he still wearing the locket? The one with the secret ingredient to my new pet food? Or did evil Nancy get her hands on it?
“Evil Nancy?”
He pointed at the blonde. My former girlfriend.
“You guys had a falling out?” Annie asked.
I guess you can call it that. Take some samples. I insist. The duck is tasty.
They walked closer to Nancy who sat at the table filled with samples and coupons. The cat sneezed.
See what I mean? Gussie asked. Why’s Bubbles sneezing?
“Allergies?” Annie waved her hand in front of her face. “Your former girlfriend’s perfume is like a florist shop on steroids.”
“That’s all I know,” Nancy said to the uniformed cop, “Gussie Gunk had no enemies. Not a single one. I should know. I’ve dated him forever.”
We dated for three weeks, Gussie said.
“Everyone loved Gussie Gunk,” Nancy said. “Absolutely everybody.”
She’s lying, he said. Fred Filuzi hated me.
“Who’s Fred Filuzi?”
The guy who’s been trying to steal my secret ingredient for my new cat food. Nancy’s ex-boyfriend. At least I thought he was her ‘ex.’ Which probably explains why Nancy put on that stupid ski mask before she shot me.
The cat sneezed again. Twice.
“Say what?” Annie stopped dead in her tracks just a few yards from evil Nancy.
“Annie Rose Graceland?” It was Annie’s boyfriend’s voice. She glanced down at her phone in her purse, but his voice wasn’t coming from her phone.
Annie swiveled and stared through mascara-stained eyes at the gorgeous, sexy, muscular Detective Raphael Campillio. Her boyfriend strode toward her like he was emerging from a mirage in the desert.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I stopped by for a little Valentine’s Day giftie and some new food for Theodore.” Annie pressed the lime green carrier tightly against her waist, valiantly trying to cover her naked fat blob. “The big guy’s been acting kind of finicky lately.”
“You bought him a new cat carrier?” he asked and peered at it.
My eyes are bleeding, Gussie Gunk said. I hope you didn’t buy that thing.
“Nope,” Annie said. “It’s adorable but a little pricey.”
“What’s up with the black cat?” Rafe asked. “You adopted another one?”
“Nope. Just doing a kindness for someone on Valentine’s Day.” She clutched the carrier tightly.
“If you say so,” Rafe said. “Like I mentioned in the text, I’ve got some work to do. See you in a few hours?”
You need to tell this detective about evil Nancy, Gussie said. And Fred Filuzi. Oh look, I think that’s Tammy Lynn. Give her a little wave, would you? She’s probably worried sick about Bubbles.
Annie raised her hand and waved Tammy Lynn over. That’s when the rest of the zipper gave way, with a piercing riiipppppp. The dress parted like the red sea. Everything that had been sucked in, stuffed in, and contained was now free and loose. She peered down in horror at the generous expanse of liberated flesh on display.
“Dear God in heaven, please let him not see,” she mumbled.
Too late, Gussie said.
Rafe’s gaze fixed firmly on her and his eyes widened appreciatively.
“This dress…” Annie said, searching for words, “is a surprise dress!”
“I’ll say.” Rafe leaned in and whispered, “Stripping for me in the middle of a pet food store at the scene of a crime is super sweet of you, Annie. Completely unexpected. Quite possibly the best Valentine’s Day present ever.”
“I wasn’t—”
“I know. Let’s save the naked stuff for later, yes?” He waggled his eyebrows.
She didn’t know how this guy did it but he always made her smile no matter what. “Got it,” she said.
Tammy Lynn came over and practically did cartwheels when she saw Annie was holding her cat, who was safe and sound.
“So hey,” Annie said to Rafe and tugged on his arm. “There’s something you should know about Gussie Gunk’s girlfriend, Nancy. Word on the street is that…