I didn’t sleep.

When the sun came up, I got up.

Got dressed.

Put my hair in a ponytail.

Stared at myself in the mirror.

Walked into the kitchen.

Checked the computer.

Didn’t get an email from Bart but I’d find him and he’d come with me probably. I thought maybe he’d come. Because he loves to travel.

Please.

Please let him come with me.

Entered eight more contests, including a coastal Dream Home Giveaway in Merritt Island, Florida.

Sat down.

Ate Honey Bunches of Oats.

Said hi to Berkeley.

Got her Honey Bunches of Oats.

Mom came out.

She had on lipstick.

She looked at me.

She said, “You look strange.”

I looked at her.

I said, “No I don’t.”

She said, “Yes you do. Did you sleep very well?”

I wanted to say, “No, I didn’t because are you going to lose your job and why are you working at another job at night, and if you are, why aren’t you putting Berk in day care and what are you saving for and why won’t you talk to me and what is going on? I am going to find Dad and if I go alone I might get lost and wind up in the wilderness and then no one will know where I am and three years later they’ll dig me up and I’ll just be a very small bone.”

I wanted to say all that.

But instead I said, “I’m fine.”

And she sighed.

Then she drove me and Berk to school. It was a dark day, the whole world damp and cold.

Berkeley said, “Something bad’s going to happen.”

I glanced back at her, my heart thumping. Was this her gut telling me not to go?

She had her hand on the window.

I looked at Mom whose face was tight.

“Why do you say that Berkeley?” Mom asked.

She shrugged. “I can feel it. It’s like when Peep’s sand castle got washed out.”

Peep and the Big Wide World was Berk’s favorite cartoon.

Mom gripped the steering wheel. “It’s a perfectly wonderful day,” she said. “We need the rain. It makes me feel refreshed.”

Her voice was hollow. We were in a play.

Once Mom dropped us off, I stood in the crowd and searched for Bart.

Searched and searched.

“What are you doing?” Berk asked.

“Just a second.”

“Don’t we need to hurry?”

I nodded. We did. We did need to hurry and where was he?

Then someone said something. They said, “Olivia.” I turned, shoved Berkeley behind me, and turned. It was Carlene.

And Bonnie.

“Why’s Berk here?” Carlene said.

My throat closed. Carlene looked concerned. Bonnie looked not concerned. At all.

“I’m taking her across the street,” I said, and pointed at a house. “To a day care.”

“There’s a day care over there?” Bonnie said. “It looks like a drug house.”

“It’s not a drug house,” I said, even though it did look like a drug house.

Carlene said to Bonnie, “I’ll meet you inside,” and Bonnie said, “No. I’ll wait.”

“Really,” Carlene said. “You’ll be late.”

Bonnie gave me a glare. Then she said fine and went inside.

Carlene turned to me. “I can walk her over with you.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I can do it. You should get to class.”

She nodded. Then she said to Berk, “Do you like it there?”

Berk didn’t say anything and my heart was breaking.

“It’s just temporary. We’re trying to find a different place,” I said, squeezing Berk’s hand.

Carlene said, “I know. I’m so sorry about what happened with Tandi yesterday. I don’t know what her problem is.”

“It’s okay,” I said.

“It’s not okay. She can be such a witch. I love your mom. She’s so cool.”

I almost laughed.

I almost cried, too.

And mostly I tried not to throw my arms around Carlene and tell her everything and tell her I missed her and that I wished things were how they used to be and how I wanted to go to the Monster Jam and that I was so grateful she told dumb-bum Bonnie to shut up and that I was going to try to find my dad because everything was falling apart and I was going to ask Bart if he could go with me but maybe she could go with me and would she dare go with me? We used to play in the river and do scary things like trap a beaver that could have had rabies.

I tried not to do those things. In fact, I didn’t. I just said, “My mom is cool, I guess.”

She smiled. Then she said, “Well, I’ll see you later.”

And I said, “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

And then she turned and went into the school.

Berkeley said, “I like Carlene.”

And I said, “I like her, too.”

~

By then most everyone was inside. The first bell had rung.

I walked Berkeley down the sidewalk to the side of the building.

“We’ve never gone this way,” she said.

“I know,” I said. “I just wanted to try something different.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s safer.”

“Safer? Safer from what?”

I said, “It’s safer in case there’s a fire.”

This was stupid and I think Berk knew it was stupid but she just held my hand as we walked through the gym where I’d seen Bart and where maybe I’d see him again? Maybe the gym coach made him mop the floors or wipe the walls before school every day? But there was no one there, so we walked through the gym and then waited by the door until the second bell rang.

“When I say go, we’re going to run.” We were clear on the other side of the building from the closet.

“Okay,” she said, without asking questions.

Soon the halls were empty.

In some ways, this was not smart. You can blend in when there’re hundreds of people.

But on the other hand, if you do it that way, there’re hundreds of people to see you.

So we waited.

Once there was no one in sight, I said, “Now!”

Then she and I, holding hands, ran through the hall, me trying to keep my steps as quiet as I could, her stomping her boots like she was in the army but I couldn’t do anything about that.

Luckily, as we were going up the stairs the national anthem came on and we made it to the closet before it was over, avoiding any teachers or people coming late or the hall monitor Peaches, who was a large lady with curly blond hair and a ski pole that she used to point at people and say, “GET TO CLASS.”

We avoided all of them and Berkeley was safely at the boxes we’d made into a desk.

“I’ll be back after my second class.”

“Okay,” she said. She was pulling out the circus tickets and her crayons and her scissors, like this was normal. Like this was where she belonged and for a brief moment, I saw how good she was. How she was willing to do anything for me and Mom.

I gave her a kiss on her head and she said, “Can you get me more paper?”

“Sure,” I said.

And then I left.