Jan and I sat in a room with three other people.

One was Berkeley, who was playing dolls with a little boy named Ace.

When I came in, I thought she’d run to me. I thought she’d cry and I’d cry and we’d hug and then I’d tell her I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.

And then she’d hit me.

And it would hurt but then we would hug and Jan the social worker and all her coworker social workers would say, “Now there’s some sisters who stick together.”

But instead, when I walked in, Berkeley didn’t look up.

I said, “Berkeley!”

And she and the boy started laughing about something.

“Berkeley?”

She glanced at me and waved and then went back to playing.

In that moment I felt exhausted. But mad. But exhausted.

Jan put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Let her play. She’s been through something traumatic.”

Barf. But true. But barf.

I sat down on a soft chair.

“Do you want a soda? Some crackers? An apple?”

“Yes,” I said.

She brought me a Sprite and some Chicken in a Biskit and a Granny Smith, which I hate because they’re so sour.

I sat there with all that on my lap.

I knew I should be thinking about what was going to happen next.

What Berk and I should do.

Would Dad come?

What should I say?

What should Berk say?

What would Mom say?

I knew I should be making a plan.

But instead, I put my head back on the chair, and fell asleep.

............

Dear Mom,

They told me that you are going to stay with Aunt Susan in Wisconsin for a while. Is that true? I didn’t think that would be true because you haven’t talked to her in so long. If it is true, can I come visit? Are you okay? According to the internet, you only have to stay away for forty-eight hours. Can you come back in forty-eight hours?

Dad is here.

There was a hearing and I told them it was all my fault. They said you weren’t in jail. They said it would be okay. I told them it was all my fault. I told Dad, too.

I’m sorry I messed up.

Love, Olivia

............