And now I’m at school.

People are laughing.

Carlene says, “Hey, Olivia.”

I say, “Hey.”

Then she walks away with Bonnie.

I walk to my class.

I sit in English. People are doing a project. I am supposed to be doing a project.

I sit there.

It’s so fun for everyone because school is almost out. I turn in my packet at the end of the class. The teacher says, “Good job.” She says I probably won’t have to go to summer school.

I say, “I want to go to summer school.”

She says, “You do?”

I say, “Yes.”

She says, “Why?”

I say, “Never mind.”

I go to math.

Jared, the boy who called me a retard, says, “Your shirt is dumb.”

I say, “Thank you.”

He says, “You’re welcome.”

I listen to the teacher. He says that we have a test. He asks if there are any questions.

I say, “I have a question.”

And he says, “What is that, Olivia?”

And I say, “Why is everyone in the world so crappy to each other.”

People laugh.

Mr. Brown tells people to be quiet. Then he says to me, “What do you mean, Olivia?”

I say, “Why do people treat each other like crap?”

He says, “They don’t always.”

I say, “Don’t they?”

He says, “Sometimes but not always.”

Someone says, “No one treats me like crap.”

Someone says to him, “You suck.”

People start laughing.

I say, “I hate everyone.”

People get quiet. Someone says, “Check and see if she has a shotgun.”

Mr. Brown says, “Can I talk to you in the hall.”

I say, “Sure.”

In the hall he says, “Are you okay?”

I say, “No.”

He says, “Do you want to talk to Miss Hill?”

I say, “No.”

He says, “What do you want to do?”

I say, “I want to do nothing.”

He says, “You want to do nothing?”

I say, “I want to be nothing.”

He says, “This worries me.”

I say, “Don’t be worried.”

He says, “Why?”

And I say, “Because it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do matters.”

He says, “I understand you are having some home issues.”

I say, “I understand you have bad hair.”

He laughs.

I don’t laugh.

He says, “Let me take you down to Miss Hill’s office for now and then I want to talk to you. I have prep period after this.”

I say, “I know you do.”

He says, “You know I do?”

And I say, “Yes, because last time you kept me after and you said I was smart.”

He says, “That’s right.”

Then I say, “You are a liar.”

I never talk like this to people like this. Or people like anything. But I can’t stop myself.

He stares at me. Then he says, “Let’s go down to Miss Hill’s office for a bit.”

I say, “Fine.”

We walk down the hall.

I look in the classrooms as we go.

In one classroom I see Bart.

Bart sees me.

I want to throw a car in his face.

Mr. Brown says, “Do you know someone in there?”

I say, “No.”

He says, “Do you have friends?”

I say, “No.”

He says, “I’m worried about you.”

I say, “I’m worried about you.”

He says, “Here’s Miss Hill’s office.”

I say, “Thank you.”

He says, “I’m taking you in.”

I say, “I can take myself in.”

He says, “Okay.”

I say, “Okay.”

He walks back down the hall. I stand outside Miss Hill’s office. He turns and looks at me.

I smile and wave at him. He says, “I’m going to come talk to you after my class.”

I say, “Please do that.”

He says, “Go in.”

I say, “I need some time.”

He says, “I can respect that.”

I say, “The people in our class have probably destroyed the room.”

He says, “You’re right.”

He turns and jogs down the hall.

I wait until he is gone.

I do not go in Miss Hill’s office.

Instead I go up the stairs, around the corner, down the hall, and into the supply closet.

............

Dear Mom,

How are you? I’m great!

I have really been having a fun time at school. Only five days left! One of my teachers, Mr. Brown, he is so nice! He has decided that I need a special friend to go with me to all my classes. The special friend is a girl named Brenda who is very positive and is on student council! She thinks I’m special, too! She gets to help me with my homework during lunch and I stay after school and she makes sure I’m getting everything done! Mr. Brown and Miss Hill have arranged the whole thing! It’s so nice to have people looking after me every second of every day.

Also, they have locked up the room that Berkeley used to hang out in. It’s too bad because it’s so nice in there. With couches and fun toys and a good atmosphere. I told them they should make it a lounge for people like me! They said they’d consider it!

Dad has come to the school a few times! He even came to class with me one day! He left Berkeley with Delilah, no problem! I no longer talk to my friend Bart. You remember him? He used to come sit with me and Berk on the tramp and he told me he was someone important but it turns out he is just a regular person at my school who does water aerobics and wears stupid clothes and hates school. Anyway, we decided that since I’m focused on my schoolwork and everything, we should take a break from ever talking to each other. It’s a good feeling to get rid of people in your life who make you feel not special inside! Miss Hill told me that. I like it!

Anyway, Dad told me you aren’t supposed to have contact with us yet. I told him Oh no! That’s not right! On the internet it says you only have to stay away forty-eight hours! I emailed you about that! But Dad said it was special circumstances and you might not even be getting my emails! And he said, I’m so sorry. I said, that’s okay! I’m still going to send them anyway!

No one is telling me or Berk what is going to happen but that’s okay. We’re just kids! We don’t care!

Love you tons!

Olivia,
your daughter

............