My notebook was almost full.

All my notes on Grant.

All the sweepstakes or contests I had ever entered.

The Monster Jam dates.

All my observations.

Everything I had found out about Steve Fossett.

There were other things in there, too.

When Bart told me about the Mason-Dixon Line I started doing research. If he and I went on a road trip when we were older and married or not married, whatever, we could follow the exact route of Charles Mason and Jeremiah Dixon who surveyed the line.

This was before I hated Bart’s guts.

I’d made a list of things we’d need to bring.

A tent.

Sleeping bags.

We’d need a phone.

I’d never seen Bart with a phone, which was weird. Of everyone in the whole world he and I were the only two people over eight who didn’t have one.

But if we were going to every state in the United States, we’d need a GPS thing.

Or I guess a map.

I found a stove that would fit in the pocket of a backpack that could heat up soup or chili or hot chocolate.

We’d need clothes and boots and we’d need some money but not a lot.

I’d also made a list of things we could talk about because sometimes my parents, before Dad left, didn’t talk a lot.

~

Things We Could Talk About:

Birds

Hair

FBI things

Halloween costumes for our kids

Names of kids

Cookies

Countries we wanted to go see

Wild animals that had been known to rip people’s faces off

Funny movies we would’ve already watched together

Funny movies we wanted to watch together

Why people wear clothes that are too tight

Chest hair

God

Music

Stupid people

Daylight saving time

Volcanoes—Mt. Vesuvius

Ghosts

Teeth

Cookie jars

What does Obi-Wan do the whole time Luke Skywalker is growing up?

Why someone can use the same recipe and the cookies taste bad

His family

Not my family

Space travel

Body odor

Underwater caves, danger of

Haunted Houses, danger of

Kids

Houses

Divorce, how we would never

Tater Tots

Fancy things we wanted to do together for the rest of our lives

~

The first page of the notebook I had colored with Berk’s colored pencils my favorite saying from all the contests I entered: YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER.

I stared at it as we drove to the rec center.

~

Dad was talking loud on his phone to someone about insurance. He promised whoever it was, they would not be disappointed. He was going to be back in the office in one week but anything they needed could be done online.

He promised.

He promised.

He promised.

Berkeley held my hand. Tight. My sweet little sister, her suit on, her goggles adjusted, her towel around her neck.

I was going to rip out the lists other than the Grant information from the notebook but then I didn’t. We pulled into the parking lot and Dad was still talking.

We got out.

He sat there.

We waited.

He was talking with his hands now.

We stood there.

Still talking.

“I want to go in,” Berk said.

“Me too,” I said.

I took her hand and we walked into the rec center like we always did.