Bart was there.

He was in the pool with five hundred fat ladies and an old man with a bald head. When he saw me he waved and that’s when I started bawling.

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Dear Mom,

I tried Aqua Zumba today. I was the only one besides Bart, who is a boy I know, under fifty years old.

Bart told me normally he would never do water aerobics because it’s for old people with fake hips but he had to because it’s a good workout and it helps him train for Tae Kwon Do, which is not just karate but an ancient burial art that they did to help defend themselves from enemies who were interested in disturbing their peace.

He said he would avoid using the force in real life unless there was a genuine threat. He is a purple belt, which is two levels below black but he’s only that because his sensei said he should slow down because if you move too fast, you get a target on your back. I’m not sure what that means. It’s also required for the FBI apparently. They don’t let people know how cardiovascularly fit you can get doing water aerobics.

I don’t know if you know this but he’s also going to run a hundred miles. I might do it with him.

Dad went down the slides with Berkeley. They also did the rock-climbing wall in the deep end and Berkeley made him stand in the kiddie pool on the X so she could spray him with water.

~

I stopped typing.

I didn’t want Mom to think I liked Dad better than her. Or that he was doing a nicer job than she was because I made him do that. I made him get in and he was talking to that dumb-bum redhead.

~

So I put.

He is always on his phone and he doesn’t know the lyrics to any good songs like you do.

Please come home soon. He is boring.

Love, Olivia

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