FOURTEEN
At sundown dope-starved junkies and penniless winos mingled under the United Nations banner fluttering at Seventh and Market. The welfare check-cashing store across the street bulged with clients. A homeless guy with a puppy in a shopping cart hustled change from the tourists at the Renoir Hotel.
The police had doubled their patrols around Macy’s and the other department stores in Union Square. Christmas shoplifters were pilfering the shops and robbing them blind. Holiday customers had been jacked at gun-point in the underground parking garages on Stockton Street.
The seven-storied jailhouse at 850 Bryant was silhouetted against the graying sky. The fortress’s lights dazzled in the fog. Parrots and pigeons shared airspace over its roof. Inside the holding cell the toilet-sink had overflowed. Sewage flooded the entire jail.
A scalding winter night was falling on the city.
In the apartment Robert informed Slatts they had to talk. It was time for a summit conference. The journeymen criminals repaired from the kitchen to the living room with a lukewarm six-pack of beer. The German shepherd was frisky and accompanied them.
The threesome sat on the couch facing the coffee table. Slatts was at one end of the sofa. Robert was situated at the other end. The shepherd was in the middle. A plethora of Christmas tunes from the likes of Tony Bennett, Eddie Jefferson, Dean Martin, Johnny Mathis, and Lou Rawls frothed out of a FM radio channel. Robert began the conversation, saying to Slatts, “I’m glad you’re here, boy. All the bad stuff is behind us now.”
Slatts belittled him. “Then how come you haven’t talked to your old lady about us? You lied to me about that shit. I thought you had it all wired.”
He decided to get it off his chest. “Yeah, well, I don’t, not yet.”
“That ain’t right.”
“Hey, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“Don’t jive me. You ain’t ever going to do it.”
“What’s the hurry? I want to have a plan before I tell her anything.”
“A plan? About what?”
“Our future.”
“Sounds bogus to me.” Slatts guffawed. “What crap.” The two lovers were stock still, sizing each other up. Slatts had a glacial killer’s glare in his eyes, yellowed with bile. It was a fuck-you-in-the-ass kind of stare.
“That’s easy for you to say.” Robert was perturbed. Slatts was up to his usual tricks, being pushy and demanding. He was also continuously bumming smokes. Treating Robert as if he was a cigarette vending machine. This violated prison etiquette. “I’ve got Harriet and the kid to think about. They’re a fucking handful.”
“Great.” Slatts was insulted. “Now you tell me what your priorities are.”
“So? What’s wrong with that, huh?”
“You made it sound all peachy last week. How you and me were going to be together. How we’d live in Pacific Heights. Then it turns out to be some other horseshit.”
Robert’s feathers were ruffled. “Be cool. Look at the bigger picture.”
There wasn’t a bigger picture. There never was. Everything had limits. Both men knew it. Robert visualized putting a bullet in Slatts, in his head. That would shut him up for a minute. “Look,” he pleaded. “All I’m recommending is that we talk to Harriet about you and me a little later. What difference is it going to make, hah?”
The last thing Robert wanted was Slatts in an uproar. It was just like his boyfriend to turn a molehill into a mountain. Once he got started, it’d take an army division to stop him. “You’ve got to slow down,” he said. “Everything’s under control.”
“No, it ain’t.” Slatts wasn’t buying it. He should’ve consulted his astrologer before coming here. She would have said it was written in the stars. Robert was a sap. “You don’t even have the guts to tell your wife that you have another wife. You’re double-crossing me.”
“That ain’t so.”
“Yeah, it is. And you know what, daddy?”
“What?”
“You can blab on all you want about having a wife and kid. But in the end, you’re nothing but an old queen, just like me.”
Robert hedged. “We have other things to talk about.”
“Such as?”
“How to get some cash.”
Slatts ran a velvety tongue over his lips. He was an ardent fan of money. He was willing to listen to anyone about it. Even to Robert. But he understood his husband. Understood him too well. Knew that he talked out of his ass. It never sounded musical. It never sounded like much of anything.
“Let’s start with our skills,” Robert said. “We can grade ourselves. Are we good at robbing banks?”
“No.” Slatts was firm. “That’s for professionals.”
“Is burglary an option?”
“It’s what got you sent to prison.”
“Counterfeiting?”
“Neither you nor I have the smarts for it.”
“Stolen checks?”
“I think not.”
“Credit cards?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Plastic ain’t what it used to be.”
“How about fraud?”
“Too much math.”
“Extortion?”
“Not for me.”
“Me neither. Can we deal dope?”
“Hell, no.” Dealing was how Slatts landed in the joint. Both times he’d sold a dime bag of skunkweed to a narc on Mission Street.
“I can poach game,” Robert said. “How about you?”
From the radio Nat King Cole warbled “Sometimes I’m Happy.”
Slatts peeled himself from the couch and had a gander out the window. A police whirlybird arced over the wino encampments in the Civic Center. Kraals of shopping carts were lashed to parched, lifeless trees. Well-dressed theatergoers left the Orpheum and were accosted by swarms of panhandlers at the BART hole.
Market Street wasn’t aging well. Zimm’s coffee shop and the Electric movie house were gone. The Pioneer army-navy surplus store was abandoned. The Woolworth’s by the cable car turnaround at Powell and Market, where Tenderloin seniors used to grab breakfast and lunch, had been reborn into a Gap outlet.
The news guys on television had been talking about the homeless. There were more people without housing in San Francisco than in any other city in the country. Slatts answered Robert truthfully. “I ain’t good for much. That’s a goddamn fact.”
Neither man had the personality for successful criminal activity. Both were too unschooled to pull off sophisticated con jobs. Robert was clever, but didn’t have a cool head. Slatts was cute, but had no finesse. Their collective assets added up to zip. Robert was brave enough to own up to it. He helped himself to a beer and said, “We’re sitting ducks out here. We got no money and no way of getting any.”
“What are we going to do?”
“Keep the faith.”
“Faith in what?”
“In Christmas. Everything will be all right.”
Garbage trucks did the rounds on Market Street. A jet flew above the Trinity Plaza Apartments, jarring the building’s walls. The German shepherd dozed on the couch and snored. Harriet meandered into the living room with her hair in a bun. She was barefoot in a cotton house-dress, a dash of lipstick smeared on her mouth. “What’s up, guys?”
Robert burped. “We’re talking business.”
Slatts gave her the silent treatment. Harriet was offended. There was something rude about the guy. It might have been his hip huggers. Maybe it was his earrings—he had too many for a man. He was a lot prettier than she was. That was hard to swallow. He had smooth skin, a sexy mouth. Was he a queer? If he was, what did that make Robert? She didn’t want to obsess on it.
“I’m going to bed,” she said.
Watching his wife trundle to the bedroom, Robert ground his teeth. Things were getting funky with Harriet. The vibe was not mellow. Prying his hindquarters from the couch, he tiptoed into the hall and copped a pillow and a sleeping bag from the linen closet. Returning to the living room, he gave the items to Slatts. “This shit is for you.”
“Where am I sleeping?”
“In the hall.”
“You said I’d have my own room.”
Robert was conciliatory. “That ain’t happening. There’s only one bedroom and that’s for Harriet and me. The kid has the couch. Take the dog and go crash on the floor. He just got out of the pound, and you’re straight from the pen. You should get on fine.”
He kissed Slatts lightly on the neck. Then he switched off the lights. The living room slipped into moonlit blackness.
When everyone was asleep Robert retired to the kitchen and wrote a letter to his parole officer. Telling her what he’d been up to. It wasn’t going well, and he was restless. Mooching over to the door, he opened it and had a peek at the street.
The stifling fog was level with the sidewalks. The Orpheum Theater’s lights burned dully in the bracken mists. Pigeons bathed in the UN Plaza’s fountain. At the corner of Eighth and Market a white dude in denim overalls idled by the stoplight. He had a spliff in his mouth, red hair done up in cornrows, a porkpie hat on his head.
Robert recognized the cat. It was Arnold Burgess, a veteran dope fiend with a graduate degree in burglary. His specialty was pharmacies—he’d taken every drugstore in the bay area. His streak had remained unbroken until he’d been caught at a Safeway in Oakland. The cops found him overdosed on morphine in the stockroom. The escapade garnered him a one-year vacation in the pen at Tehachapi.
Seeing him alarmed Robert. He wasn’t worried that Arnold would rob him. He wasn’t even concerned about the man’s addiction to narcotics. It was worse than that. The dude had been dead for years and was resting in a grave in Los Angeles. Robert Grogan’s mind was playing tricks on him. Imagining things in the darkness that weren’t even there.