Pandemonium broke out at Hunsford Cottage when word of Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s imminent arrival reached the ears of William Collins. Shouting orders at the staff, his wife, and most importantly his wayward cousin Elizabeth Bennet, the sitting room became a flurry of activity just as the wheels of the phaeton rolled to a stop on the main drive just outside the home.
Elizabeth could not resist rushing to the window to peek out at the grand Dames condescension to visit the lowly parsonage. Her eyes recognized the smiling round face of Mr. Darcy's regular driver, Peter Holbein. She had met the man just that morning when he accompanied her and Fitzwilliam on their visit to the impoverished Holbein family living on the glebe lands her cousin managed. Catching his eye, the driver slowly nodded and slid one finger to the side of his nose.
Before she could work out a plan to go outside, Mr. Collins was seating Lady Catherine in the sitting room. Elizabeth frowned and took a seat on the far sofa as the Collinses fussed and fretted over the grand lady just as she was accustomed. On this visit, Lady Catherine waved her arms as if to swat a fly and shoo her parson and his wife away from her.
"There can be no mistake as to why I have deigned to travel here personally and explain why despite the Archbishop of Canterbury's arrival to Rosings this very afternoon, none in this household are invited to dine with us this evening. And the fault lies with no other than this hussy you continue to shelter in your home."
"Lady Catherine, we are most humble to receive your ladyship on any such occasion. And any offense my cousin has given, I most heartily apologize and beg your forgiveness." Mr. Collins bowed so low before her ladyship that he was very nearly prostrate.
"It is her very existence that offends!"
Elizabeth Bennet could not help herself and smiled at the imposing lady, infuriating her more.
"There! There –" Lady Catherine pointed a long fat finger directly at Elizabeth, "see how she laughs at us? She is guilty I say, guilty of attempting to bewitch my nephews with her arts and allurements. Women of her ilk have a road in London and should not be socializing with families of good standing."
"Your ladyship is mistaken, perhaps what might be the first time of any such occurrence. I am merely an acquaintance of your nephews, one of them only because he nearly killed me with his horse." Elizabeth slowly exhaled to restore her decorum.
"I was present in the same county and social gatherings with your nephew Mr. Darcy and my friend, and never was there any sign of impropriety or affection on either party." Charlotte Collins said quietly.
"Do not speak unless spoken to, Mrs. Collins,” Mr. Collins hissed at his wife in a hoarse whisper.
"But –" Charlotte began to defend your friend, but elected to stop when her husband glared at her.
"Regardless of your own estimation of your behavior, as your moral and social superior, I say otherwise. Women of your profession are not suitable for His Grace’s presence. Your utter lack of deference for your betters has barred you from this evening's festivities and any future visits of Rosings. This is my final word on the subject." Lady Catherine rose and nodded pertly at her parson. Unfortunately, the target of her vitriol was far from conceding the match.
Gazing determinedly out the window, Elizabeth spoke: "I wonder how much weight your word shall have once you are the dowager of Rosings and no longer the mistress?"
Lady Catherine turned around slowly with her face ever increasing in shades of red. "You would dare to insult a peer?"
"No your ladyship, I only humbly make the observation your nephew, Mr. Darcy, is set to wed your daughter now the Archbishop has arrived. My cousin has most emphatically championed the blessed event my entire visit. Once that occurs, it will be for Mr. and Mrs. Darcy to determine who shall and shall not visit Rosings."
"Cousin Elizabeth, I believe you should retire to your room and pack your belongings." Mr. Collins said through clenched teeth.
"I expressly forbid it!" Lady Catherine called out. Peering at the young upstart, the older woman took great joy in issuing yet another edict. "I desire this trumped up bit of muslin remain in your home until after the wedding. Then she may cry herself all the way back to London and whatever relations will take her in. Once my daughter marries, my nephew will soon tire of your company, mark my words. Men never stay true to their mistresses, because as you get older, their tastes stay young."
"Then lucky for me I am not the mistress of either of your nephews. And I find it a slander for you to continue to blacken my character, your ladyship." Elizabeth Bennet rose from the couch and pursed her lips. She knew she ought to behave better, but this woman who had everything yet made all around her miserable tried every ounce of her dwindling patience. Momentarily closing her eyes, Elizabeth thought of her Fitzwilliam, remembering that after tomorrow, he would be free.
"What's that she's doing? Closing her eyes like that, open them I say! Don't trifle with me young lady and then pretend to swoon. I won't have it!"
Elizabeth sighed and lowered herself into a deep curtsy. Before rising, she made her apologies. "Forgive me, my tongue has ran away with me. I am, as you say, unfit for civilized company. With your permission, Cousin Collins, I shall retire to my room and reflect on what my behavior has cost you in my friend."
"Yes, yes, I do believe that is best. Come, come, you have vexed her ladyship too much. Forgive us, Lady Catherine, for this evening's continued offenses."
Elizabeth scurried around her ladyship and passed her cousin to take the stairs as quickly as a lady might. Hopefully, she had done just enough damage to keep Lady Catherine from suspecting the true plans tomorrow, and permitted to retire early, she was certain to rise with the sun in time for the ceremony. Pulling out bread and a small bottle of wine her maid Anna had smuggled from the kitchens the first time Mr. Collins withheld food from her, Elizabeth found her appetite fleeting with the excitement of a wedding on the horizon.