Someone left the paper with your column at Centrelink the other day so I read it coz I was desperate. God, as if we aren’t suffering enough. You remind me of my mother. I hate my mother.
‘You bitch,’ said Leisl flatly. ‘You absolute fucking bitch.’
I blinked, trying to absorb this. Then I dropped my eyes again. The barrel was hypnotic.
‘Because of you, my Will is in jail.’
The rifle trembled. I could see her finger on the trigger, the knuckle white.
‘Because of you, my life is ruined.’
Music flared in the distance, overlaying the rumble of voices and laughter. I forced myself to look up, make eye contact. ‘You won’t get away with this. The police are everywhere.’
‘Don’t you get it?’ She spat a nugget of laughter. ‘I don’t care! I have nothing left!’
‘That can’t be true, Leisl, you’ve got –’
‘Oh, you’re right. There is something left. The desire to kill you.’
‘That’s not good,’ I said stupidly.
She stepped back, propping her elbow on the sink but still pointing the rifle at my face. ‘Oh, but it is. Well, it will be. Because if it wasn’t for you, none of this would have happened. You started everything, and then wouldn’t. Leave. It. Alone.’
‘But it all turned –’
‘To see you up there, getting a fucking prize. Everyone cheering.’ Her hand shook again and I stared at the trigger, my heart throbbing painfully in the base of my throat. ‘No mention of my Will, was there? But who did all the hard work for this? Staying back day after day and for what? To get erased.’ Her eyes shone. ‘I hate them all, the bastards.’
‘But Will wasn’t erased! Everyone is talking about him!’
Her mouth trembled. ‘Yeah, about how he’s a murderer!’
I took a deep breath, deciding it was probably best not to point out that he was, in fact, exactly that. I concentrated on low, regular breathing, trying to steady my heartbeat. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Or was it the other way around?
‘When everything we did was for the town.’ She dipped her head and, to my relief, the barrel dropped also, just a few inches. ‘It’s so unfair. So unfair.’
I wondered if my collar would absorb some of the impact of a bullet. Then I suddenly realised that if I kept her talking, there was a chance of dissipating her anger and, with it, her desire for vengeance. I kept my voice low. ‘What happened? With Sam and Ned?’
‘We had no choice.’ She seemed to be staring at my collar. ‘Will came home and told me that they were still at the centre, and they’d discovered that Petar Majic had a daughter. A daughter! He didn’t seem to realise the implications.’ She looked up and I caught a glimmer of how she had been that night. Agitated, horrified, desperate. ‘I knew we had to stop them before it went too far. I mean, what if there were descendants? What if they took back Sheridan House? What of the Sheridan name?’ Her voice had risen and now she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling. When she lowered her head again there were tears on her lashes. ‘So we went back to talk to them but they wouldn’t listen. Nothing I said made any difference. They were excited. So I crushed sleeping tablets and put them in their tea.’
‘Then … you must have brought the pills with you.’
‘No, that’s the funny thing.’ She laughed, a brittle sound. ‘I’d filled a script that day and they were still in the car. Imovane. They’re very effective. Do you sleep well?’
‘Ah, probably not so much after this.’
‘I recommend them. Really. I used to take Temaze, but these are much better.’
‘Um … okay. But, Leisl, that means it wasn’t premeditated! That’s a defence!’
She grimaced. ‘It probably got a little premeditated after I knocked them out, when I had to convince Will. He knew I was right, though. I mean, what else could we do?’
‘Not kill them?’
‘And that attitude is the reason you’re here.’ She lowered the rifle and lined up my right foot, then my left, almost absentmindedly. ‘I gave it a lot of thought, you know. Even sat in Will’s office and drew up a list of pros and cons. Then, when it became clear they’d backed us into a corner, I put together a plan of action. Even found that note we used for Ned – it was from when I asked him to help me with my database last month. It’s the six P’s, you know. Prior preparation prevents piss-poor performance. I learnt that in the army.’
‘You were in the army?’
She nodded proudly. ‘Many years ago. I was in transport.’
‘Transport?’ I put a hand up to my neck. ‘So you know cars. Which means you –’
‘For someone who just won an award, you’re quite slow,’ said Leisl snidely. She lifted the rifle to point it at a kneecap. ‘Yes, of course it was me at the cemetery. Took two seconds to sever your brake cable. Would’ve worked, too, if it wasn’t for that headwind.’
I stared at the rifle, a little relieved that it was now threatening my knees rather than my feet. They’d been playing up recently anyway. But then limbs in general were preferable to the face. I’d rather use a cane than a balaclava, if I survived. I hiccupped wetly just as a door slammed in the arcade. It was followed by a woman’s voice. Leisl pulled the rifle up and narrowed her eyes. I stilled as I considered my options. There weren’t many.
‘And so Sally told me to use custard powder,’ said the latest Svetlana clearly. There was the metallic jingle of keys and a padlock being snapped into position. ‘Of course I said don’t be bloody ridiculous. That’s crazy talk.’
‘She can be a little experimental,’ replied Jill Hansen.
‘There’s a big difference between experiment and insanity,’ said Svetlana firmly. ‘Speaking of insanity, how about Willy Akermann, hey? There’s a turn-up for the books.’
My eyes widened as Leisl’s narrowed even more. Her aim was set around the bridge of my nose. I’d heard that was a particularly vulnerable area. Why hadn’t I become a helmet person, rather than just hat?
The sound of their heels clip-clopping down the arcade accompanied Jill’s reply. ‘I know. I’m still in shock. He always seemed so pleasant. Leisl, on the other hand, now she can be a bit of a bitch. Never know what you’re going to get.’
‘Probably another custard-powder fan,’ said Svetlana wittily. They both laughed as the footsteps faded. I guessed they were heading towards Sheridan House and all the festivities.
‘I don’t bake,’ said Leisl. Her lower lip was trembling, and the rifle had dropped again.
‘Neither do I. Besides, I hate custard.’ I hesitated for a moment and then took a slow step to one side. The rifle immediately jerked back.
‘Don’t you move. Don’t you dare move.’
‘Okay. Okay.’ I held up my hands. ‘Ah, Leisl, you do know it’s all fine now? That the research turned out to be a good thing, not a bad thing? Sheridan House isn’t under threat, the reputation of your family is intact, and –’
‘Who cares? That means nothing to me now. It’s too late.’ She leant against the sink and freed one hand briefly to wipe at her eyes. ‘Anyway I know all that. My uncle told me last night. Do you know he was the only one to ring me? Everyone else is pretending I don’t exist.’
‘Maybe they just don’t know what to say.’
‘They didn’t seem to have any problem.’ She jerked her head towards the arcade. ‘And your bloody discovery just makes things worse anyway. At least if there’d been other descendants and they’d sued for everything, then I could have said I told you so. That we’d tried. But now …’ She petered off and then gulped moistly. ‘Now they don’t want to know me. After everything we’ve done for this town. One mistake and that’s it.’
‘In all fairness, it was a doozy.’
He eyes narrowed again. ‘Do you have a death wish?’
‘I think I must.’ I thought of my girls, especially Quinn, who was still so young, and Scarlet and Lucy, who were going to need me. ‘Leisl, I’m going to be a grandmother.’
‘So what? Are you trying to rub it in?’
As far as I knew, the accepted wisdom around dealing with killers was to personalise yourself, make it harder to be seen as an object. But what did you do when it was personal? My lips were dry. I dragged my eyes from the barrel. ‘How did you know I’d be here?’
‘I didn’t.’ She smiled, as if expecting me to share her pleasure at this stroke of luck. ‘I was deciding whether to go scout out the area first or just start shooting – making sure I kept one round for you, of course.’ She kicked at a small duffle bag by her feet and I could see a jumble of black rifle magazines. She ran her hand down the barrel admiringly. ‘This is an SLR. A self-loading rifle. Fires 7.62 rimless NATO rounds. Same as an M60 machine gun.’
‘Impressive.’
‘Then suddenly I hear someone coming and it’s you! I couldn’t believe it!’
I didn’t bother replying. If I survived this, I was going to have a catheter inserted.
‘But after I kill you, I’m going there. There are a few others who have really pissed me off.’
‘Leisl, you can still stop this. It’s not too late.’
‘And live while my Will takes the blame? Have people avoid me? Call me insane?’
‘What do you think’s going to happen after you shoot up half the town? Isn’t that rather proving the point?’
‘Whatever.’ She shrugged, the rifle nodding in agreement. ‘At least I’ll have the pleasure of seeing your brains splatter all over the wall.’
I flinched. It didn’t sound so attractive to me. I also sensed that my time was running out. There wasn’t much more to say and her resolve hadn’t faltered. But maybe her nerve had, otherwise why was she so willing to talk? She didn’t seem the type for deferred gratification. ‘You don’t want to do this. Not really.’
‘Yes, I do. I really do!’ The rifle snapped into position and her finger tightened.
It was now or never; with no time to think. I leapt to the side and then forward in a smoothly rapid movement that surprised even me. For a moment I caught sight of my face in the mirror behind her head. My eyes were bullet-holes in bleach. Then I was pushing her with all my might and we were staggering sideways. She hit the edge of the porcelain sink with a thud that echoed up her body and the rifle went off.
The sound was deafeningly loud. Waves of pain ricocheted up my ear canals and into my skull. The recoil had thrown us both further off-balance and I grabbed onto the side of the sink to stop from falling. I could see Leisl’s mouth moving but couldn’t understand. She heaved the rifle up as she straightened so I pushed her again, this time forward, then leapt over the duffel bag and ran for the door.
Outside, the lights in the distance were like a beacon. I began running towards them before I even thought, but suddenly realised I was leading Leisl, and her self-loading rifle, towards the biggest crowd that had ever gathered in our town. Including everybody I loved. I came to an abrupt halt at the end of the arcade and ducked desperately to the left, down a narrow lane that backed onto the shops. Rubbish bins lined the gravelled kerb, most with their lids back, indicating that they had been emptied that day. I thought about clambering into one but that would require more nimbleness than I had been capable of for many years. Instead I ran past about five shops and dodged into an alcove filled with cardboard boxes. I dropped to my knees and scrambled behind them, heart pounding.
I twisted myself into a sitting position and pulled my knees up, holding them tight against my chest, nudging the bottom of my collar. I realised I had lost my hat at some stage, probably back in the bathroom, but I wasn’t going back. Dead woman found in arcade. Nice hat. Music floated from the fairground but it seemed like it belonged to another world. Then I could hear her footsteps, hard against the tiled arcade. There was no hurry there, just purpose; each one matched by the throbbing in my ears. They stopped.
‘I know you’ve gone down the alley,’ said Leisl conversationally. ‘So you may as well show yourself. Get it over and done with.’
I closed my eyes, willing my heartbeat to slow. It was so loud. In through the nose, out through the mouth. It took me a moment to realise that there was another sound alongside my breathing, a whispery panting that came from the far corner. I opened my eyes to stare into the shadows and two luminous crimson orbs stared back. My heart did a reverse pike in the closed position. I was about to be devoured by a werewolf.
Leisl’s footsteps recommenced. ‘Come out, come out, wherever you are.’
Either devoured by a werewolf or shot by a lunatic; neither of which appealed. A globule of fear surged, only to be swallowed in a gulp. The eyes moved sideways, as if they could also see Leisl, perhaps through a gap in the cardboard boxes. The crimson was fading now, becoming more of a transparent glint than a glow. They returned, settled, and then the creature began to move steadily towards me.
‘Come out, come out …’
It was a dog. Black, with a grey grizzled snout and stocky build. I stared, mesmerised, as it stopped about two feet away and then sat, watching me, panting gently. I recognised it, vaguely, and embraced the awareness that it wasn’t a threat.
‘I’m getting tired of this game.’
The real threat, with its singsong menace, was moving closer. I maintained eye contact with my companion, drawing an odd sense of comfort from its presence. If I could have, I would have wrapped my arms around its neck and buried my face in the dusty fur.
‘Hey, you wouldn’t be behind those boxes by any chance, would you?’
I stiffened, and the dog whipped its head forward and licked my hand, its tongue like damp sandpaper. Before I could react, it leapt to its feet and bounded out. Almost immediately I heard Leisl gasp and the rifle rang out once, twice. I pressed back against the wall, twisting my face away. Cheers erupted in the distance and I realised that the revellers thought it was part of the festivities. Perhaps the rider returning for an encore.
I needed to concentrate. There was no real space to mourn the animal with the wise eyes who had just licked my hand, because I myself probably only had minutes to live. I was tempted just to remain where I was, accept the inevitable. Instead I forced myself into action one last time. There was only one direction to go. I crawled quickly and quietly and a little frantically into the far corner, from where the dog had emerged minutes ago. It was not until I settled that I became aware of a low, steady growling from the alley. I blinked, and then bent forward to peer through the narrow gap.
Leisl was on the ground, curled into the foetal position, with trembling hands covering her face. The rifle lay abandoned nearby. Above her stood the dog, emitting that throaty rumble. It was rigid, on high alert, and as Leisl moved one hand, just slightly, its head ducked forward and the growl intensified into a warning. Instantly, she stilled again.
My wonderment was matched by delight that the dog had survived, and both were quickly followed by the ballooning realisation that I might get through this. It took my breath away. I put one hand against the wall so that I could rise, and then dropped it again as I heard the sound of running footsteps.
‘Stop! Police! Stay right where you are!’
The dog whipped its head towards the voices and waited for a few seconds, as if it wanted the owners to come into sight before taking off. I watched through the gap as it bounded down the alley and then snapped my gaze back to where Ashley Armistead and the hatchet-faced policeman were coming to a stop by Leisl. They too had been watching the dog but now they turned their attention to the woman at their feet. Hatchet picked up the rifle and cracked it open while Ashley knelt to handcuff Leisl. He dragged her hands away from her face and flipped her onto her stomach.
‘Leisl Akermann, you are under arrest for murder.’
My eyes widened. They knew, had already known, and she had been the one they had all been looking for earlier. I kept perfectly still.
Leisl lifted her head so that she could speak. ‘What about my Miranda rights?’
‘You watch too much TV. This isn’t America.’
Ashley hauled her up and she staggered sideways before he steadied her. Hatchet came over and looked down the alley again. ‘Christ! What was with that dog?’
‘I want it destroyed!’ said Leisl in a voice that shook. There was a small piece of gravel embedded in the skin by her upper lip. ‘It could have killed me!’
‘We’ll talk about that down at the station,’ said Ashley. He glanced over his shoulder towards Sheridan House and I guessed that he did not want an audience. Leisl tried to jerk away and he tightened his grip. ‘We can do this the hard way or the easy way. Either means you’re accompanying us to the station. Your choice.’
This was the moment I should show myself. Leap nimbly around the boxes and declare my presence. Hey there, Ash, just passing and thought I’d drop in. Oh, and Leisl here just tried to kill me. Instead I stayed still, not just because the moment of revelation felt daunting, but because I didn’t want to be anywhere near Leisl ever again. Didn’t want to see her, or smell her, or even talk about her. I knew I had to come forward sooner or later, but I’d far rather later. Remaining still wasn’t a conscious decision, but rather a mix of procrastination and avoidance that delayed action until it was too late.
Between them, the two policemen walked Leisl back up the alley and out of my sight. I knew that they had turned into the arcade by the crisp sound of shoes on tiles, soon becoming swallowed by its own echo.
I wondered how long I had before she told them of my presence. Maybe they would find my hat in the bathroom. I rather hoped so, because I liked that hat. I’d have to make a statement, explain why I had remained hidden. Perhaps I could say I fainted with fear. Or maybe I could just tell them the truth: that I had been kept in a state of terror for what felt like hours but was probably only twenty minutes, come within a hair’s breadth of being killed, been stalked and shot at, and then witnessed a miracle that I couldn’t get my head around, even now. All I wanted was to return to my family, sit without speaking, listen, nurse a glass of wine, or two, and let my heartbeat steady into something that didn’t hurt when I breathed. I wanted that desperately, almost as desperately as five minutes ago I had wanted to live.
Nevertheless I remained where I was for quite some time, sitting behind a stack of cardboard boxes in an alleyway, listening to the music and merriment in the distance; unable to muster the physical and mental competencies required. And hoping, also, that the dog would return.