10. Plan B

 

 

If the instructions in this book didn’t help you achieve orgasm, don’t despair. There’s always Plan B: the electronic gadget, the tech option, the vibrator.

The idea of a vibrator often conjures up images of a person walking into a sex shop wearing dark sunglasses and walking out with their chin down, clutching a brown paper bag. Lord knows you wouldn’t want to bump into an old teacher, a colleague or your friend’s husband while you were browsing the shelves!

If the thought of holding a phallic shaped, flesh coloured, vibrating sex toy near your genitals freaks you out, then don’t worry, there’s a perfectly civilised and acceptable alternative; the body massager at your friendly department store.

Pop into the electrical section of a department store and ask for a body massager. It’s for Granny, it helps her arthritis!

Of course, you can always buy a vibrator online. Hopefully it won't mean embarrassing company names appearing on your credit card statement or the parcel arriving when someone else is at home. Cool, what’s in the parcel?

Maybe one day we’ll be able to buy an attachment to a smart phone app for orgasms but the vibrator will do for now.

A vibrator doesn't magically create an orgasm by itself. You will still need to follow the advice in the rest of this book or you will bore yourself to tears waiting for climax. Pressing the vibrator on your clitoris without the mind and body tricks explained in this book, will only make it red raw.

You will still need to fantasise and may need to attend to your body's other erogenous zones simultaneously. But used properly, vibrating technology might just do the trick if the tech free method fails.

Before you buy a vibrator, remember that its whirring sound may attract unwanted attention from others living in the house. You may also need to store this evidence that you are a sexual being, away from curious flatmates, lovers or family members. Oh, it's for my neck. It helps me get rid of headaches.