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Abby had never been a fan of cleaning before she became a Germaphobe. She was actually kind of messy herself but never to the extent where her own room looked as such. She couldn't even walk without stepping on something. And not only was it messy but it also smelled horrible. There was a stench that came from Cain's side of the room which was now hers. It smelled almost like food that had gone bad. She wasn’t sure what kind of food but was sure the smell was coming from under the bed. There was only one way to find out and that was to check but first she had to clear the area that surrounded the bed or else she wouldn’t even be able to get to the actual bed.
Cain had mentioned members being on a diet but based on all the food wrappers that lay on the floor of the room, it surely didn't look like Abel was one of them. She had seen a bunch of trash cans right outside so it wasn't like they didn't have anywhere to throw away the trash so either he was too busy or too lazy to take it out. She knew guys his age tended to be messy so she really shouldn't have been surprised that her bias wrecker was no exception. She remembered living with her two older brothers that were just as messy. It wasn't until they got married that they changed because their wives would scold them if they didn't clean up. She wondered if perhaps Abel just needed a woman to scold him to get him to clean although according to Cain their scary looking manager did the job.
Abby put all the trash in a big white plastic bag she found laying around. But even though the area surrounding the bed had been cleared and she had vacuumed and sprayed the floor, there was just no way she would get down to get whatever was making the room smell. She had to find some other way. The vacuum was too bulky and heavy otherwise she would have used it to get whatever was under there. The only other way she could think of was to get on the bed and lay on her stomach while reaching under the bed with her arms. At least the bed was made and looked clean, it was probably the only thing clean in the whole room.
With a hanger in hand, Abby tried to reach as many things as she possibly could. From what she had seen, there were mostly food wrappers although not as many as there had been under Abel's bed. She managed to get a few things out but there were still more further back. Had there not been a wall right next to Cain's bed, she could have laid down facing the other way. Moving the bed was her only option. It was a Twin size so she was sure Cain's body was more than capable of moving it. But before doing so she had to wipe both the headboard and footboard with disinfectant wipes.
She still wore the gloves Cain bought her but wiping things down had become like an instinct to her. She even planned to wipe it again once she moved the bed back since the gloves she was wearing had already touched other things including trash. The last thing she wanted was to transfer any germs.
Just as she was lifting the bed to move it, Abel walked in. "What are you doing?" He looked at her and then at the bed. "Are you trying to move the bed or something?"
"Uh...Yeah...I think there's rotten food under there since it smells bad."
"Yea. I've been smelling something weird for the past few days and the smell has only gotten stronger. I just wasn't sure if it was coming from under your bed. But it looks like you've cleaned. Why don't you just crawl under there to get whatever it is?"
"I wasn't able to reach." Abby was sure she probably could with Cain's long arms so long as she was on the floor but not wanting to do so, she went with the only excuse she could come up with.
"That's why I said to crawl under there." Abel rolled his eyes at her and got on the floor.
She only hoped he would take a shower after that or at least change clothes.
"Give me some light. I can't see." He had his head under the bed but it was too dark for him to see anything.
Abby pulled out the cell phone from her jeans and tried to light him all the while maintaining a distance.
"Closer. You're not giving me much light from wherever you're standing right now.”
She knew that to light him better she would need to kneel on the ground. But kneeling was almost like laying on the ground which had been something she had wanted to avoid from the start. The only thing she could do was get on the bed once again and light him from there.
"Dude. Was this crap really here for two whole weeks? Why did you leave sushi under your bed? No wonder it reeked in here." Abel pulled up his shirt to his nose as he gave Abby a styrofoam plate with Cain’s favorite food. It was then that he noticed the gloves she was wearing. "What's up with the gloves?"
"Uhhh...My mom gave them to me? She bought a pair for my dad but they were buy one get one free. She said they were good to use when cleaning so I thought I would just take better care of my hands?" Unsure if what she was saying was believable, her words came out rushed. They usually did whenever she was nervous.
"Cool. Maybe I should get myself a pair. We'll be having fan meetings soon and they’ll be touching our hands during hi-touch’s so it'll be good if our hands look and feel nice by then."
"Hi-touch?" Of course Abby knew what they were, she had just forgotten she would have to do such a thing as Cain. She doubted all those fans washed their hands. And not only that but fans went from member to member, touching each of their hands. It was a continuous cycle of germ sharing. Abby cringed at the thought. "Can we take hand sanitizer with us?" Knowing she couldn't wear gloves during such an event, having hand sanitizer around was probably the only relief she would be able to get.
"They've never told us we can't so I guess we can? Why would you want to take something like hand sanitizer though?"
She knew it was a weird question to ask. She could have just waited to ask Cain but the question had come out before she realized it. "Well it hasn't been that long since the pandemic. I just wouldn't want any Ebenezer's getting sick. Don't you think it'll be a good idea to have such a thing around? Both for us and the fans."
"I guess. You should bring it up with the manager and see what he says. I never knew you were so cautious though. I remember during the pandemic you didn't even wear a mask half the time you went out."
It was a fact Abby had been well aware of even if Cain hadn’t told her. She had seen many photos of him that were taken during the time after all, photos in which he wasn’t always wearing a mask. Something she always wished for as a fan was that her favorite idols would take good care of themselves but knowing her bias had been taking such risks had worried her greatly.
"Are you going to practice with us?" Abel got up as he ran a hand through his hair.
"Uhm...Well do I have to?" She thought since he asked it meant she had the option to stay.
"Well EVE did want you back at the dorms and at practice but since it's your first day back, the manager ended up convincing him to let you rest one more day.” He grabbed a black hat from atop his dresser and put it on while he looked in a mirror to make sure none of his hair sticked out oddly. “You will have to go tomorrow though. Even if you're able to skip out on dance practice for a while because of the ankle brace, you still have to practice your rap. You wouldn’t want to get your skills all rusty would ya?”
Abby shook her head and watched as Abel tied his shoelaces and then as he got up and stretched his arms out. His shirt had risen and she was able to get a glimpse of his oh so very toned six pack. She could feel as her face flushed so she turned around before he noticed her checking him out.
She knew even though she didn’t have to do dance practice with the group, it was in her best interest to keep doing so on her own. That way when the time did come for her to join them, she would at least not fall flat on her face.
Abby was able to see when the two black vans arrived to pick up the members as the room Cain and Abel shared had a view of the street. All that time she had been worried about having to share a van with 8 other people, including the driver who drove them. But seeing them separate in groups of two relieved her somewhat. She only hoped the vans were cleaned often. They were the company's after all so it only made sense if they were, at least that’s what she told herself in order for her to feel better. Because if she didn't try to think this way, getting on one of the vans would be impossible for her.
With the whole place to herself, there was no better time for her to clean. Chances like that wouldn't always come around after all so she had to make the most of it. Cain had told her they only had one bathroom for all the members so she figured it would need the most cleaning and went there first.
The first thing she noticed was that the trash can was full but with that many guys it was no surprise. What did surprise her was the fact they all shared that one bathroom. Growing up she had been used to living with other people since she had a big family. It was her parents, three siblings, five nephews and herself. But at her house they had three bathrooms and even then she remembered how she would always fight with her brothers and nephews just to use them. She could only imagine how chaotic the mornings were for all eight of the members. It was no wonder they had been running late to practice. Even though they had been allowed to start later that day, some of them had to run out with their sneakers in hand just so they could put them on in the van.
Cain hadn't told her if he usually cleaned around the dorms but she hoped it wouldn't seem like odd behavior for him. He had been helping her out with chores at her apartment the whole two weeks so she thought perhaps he also did the same at his dorms. One thing she knew though was that she still had to make it look like the place wasn't perfectly cleaned otherwise it wouldn't look normal. Because of this she kept a few things laying around even though she had already disinfected them.
By the time Abby finished cleaning she was both hungry and sweaty. She knew which was more of a priority though and went straight to the shower. And just like she had been doing for the past two weeks, she was careful not to look down. She wanted to respect Cain’s privacy just like she wanted her own to be respected.
As her showers were always long, she ended up losing track of time and hadn't noticed how late it was. She was barely rinsing her hair when she heard voices and footsteps coming in. If her no longer being alone wasn’t bad enough, the fact she hadn’t eaten yet was. She wasn’t all that sure if she would have an illness of hers while in Cain’s body but she was Hypoglycemic. Having low blood sugar had made her faint in the past and it would be bad if it happened with the members around.
She could no longer cook as they were all there and her sandwich had actually gone bad, it left her with no other choice but to go to her parents restaurant. She would however not go as her mom's daughter but as her daughter's friend. And even though she wouldn’t be going as herself, her mom would still know to wash the ingredients with antibacterial soap and hot water as Cain was too supposed to be a Germaphobe.
It was a quarter past 6 and it meant she could still go out but there was one thing she didn't like and that was that around that time the restaurant started to get more customers as people were getting out of their jobs. She had gone to her parents restaurant at that same time before as it was one of the first places she went to as part of her exposure therapy. But there had been too many people for her to handle that she ended up having a panic attack and ever since then she had been unable to go back.
She sat on Cain’s bed as she thought of all the worst case scenarios, all the things that could go wrong. Her psychologist had warned her not to do such a thing as it would only make it harder for her to go out and she was right. Something she worked on with her psychologist to help her in such cases was to instead think of best case scenarios. As it was the opposite of what she had been doing, it would have an opposite effect as well or at least it was supposed to.
With her eyes closed just like her psychologist had taught her, she tried to visualize herself at her parents restaurant. Walking in, ordering food, waiting for it as she sat...She couldn't. Not sitting on the dirty disgusting tables that a bunch of people ate on. Her Germaphobia ruined the visualization and it instead started to have the opposite effect she wanted. It was better if she gave up on the visualization so she opened her eyes but her stomach growled just then.
Abby didn't want to do what she was about to do next but she had no other choice. Another thing her psychologist told her was to not give herself enough time to think about things and just do them. If she needed to go out then she should just do so without giving it any thought, that way she wouldn't have the time to come up with any worst case scenarios. It was what she should have done from the start but she was always one to overthink things.
"Where are you going?" Abel walked into the room at the same time she was going out. They would have ended up bumping into each other had Abby not evaded him like The Matrix just then.
"I'm meeting up with a friend." She felt bad for lying but she also didn't want him to end up going with her, not when there was a chance of her getting a panic attack.
She had already grabbed the hairspray bottle along with disinfectant wipes and tissues which were all in her backpack. And in the pocket of the hoodie she had on, was the little black bag with her bottles of pills. All she needed was a mask which Cain had told her she could wear to go out. Luckily for her they had a lot of them in each of their lockers.
Abby quickly found herself using up her supplies as she had to use a bunch of tissues just to open the taxi door. Then before sitting down, she used a disinfectant wipe to clean the backseat and placed some tissues on top. The overweight taxi driver in his 50’s scowled as she did all this but he had already started the meter so it wasn't like he had anything to complain about. The longer she took cleaning the more money he would make in the end. The good thing was that her parents' restaurant wasn't far, it was even closer than her apartment but in the opposite direction.
Having arrived, she paid the driver with her credit card. She didn’t think she would be able to handle cash, not after hearing viruses could live on money. As soon as she grabbed her card back she wiped it with a disinfectant wipe. The taxi driver rolled his eyes as he saw her do this but she didn’t care. She was even wearing the gloves Cain had given her as she had ended up washing them and drying them with a hairdryer.
Just getting down from the taxi made Abby start to feel dizzy and she didn’t think it was because she hadn’t eaten. Just looking across the street made her feel this way. As the restaurant’s curbside had cars parked all around, the driver had to leave her across the street. But even from afar she was able to see how full the place was and she felt a sudden urge to turn back, to flee. Her heart had already started beating fast, almost as if she had been running a marathon but she hadn't, she had merely been standing.
While taking deep breaths she had to think about why she was there and not only was she there to eat but also to face her fears. Going out to such places early on before the group’s comeback would do her good, she needed to restart the exposure therapy she had started before the pandemic after all. And a restaurant was nothing compared to what she would have to face in the future as Cain. She just needed to keep in mind that it would all go away in a few minutes. Once her body started to relax then so would her mind and so would her heart. All the symptoms and the terrible feelings she was feeling at that moment would be gone.
It was when Abby started to walk across the street that her vision started to distort. She was sweating and out of breath, not only did she feel as if she had run a marathon but she almost looked like it too. But despite it all she was able to cross the street and finally stood in front of the restaurant. Her anxiety didn’t stop there though. The door still had to be opened. It was a good thing she still had the gloves on but she would have to take them off once inside as it would seem odd to wear them at such a place. She had to consider she was in Cain’s body and that it would be him that people would judge.
She only hoped some of her cleaning habits had rubbed off on her mom and that she at least kept the place cleaner than other restaurants. Her hopes were however quickly shattered as soon as she saw her dad. He was behind the cash register and a customer was handing him cash but that wasn’t the worst part, he wasn't wearing any gloves. Something Abby had told her mom many times was that they shouldn't accept cash and only take credit cards but it seemed like she hadn't listened to her. She felt like running up to the cash register just to snatch the money away before her dad grabbed onto it but she knew she couldn't. She wasn't his daughter at that moment but just another customer, a stranger. Her dad didn't even know her as his daughter's friend.
She looked around the almost 2,000 square feet restaurant decorated in traditional Mexican colors and decorations. There was only one person she wanted to see but no matter which direction she looked, she couldn't find her mom. She thought she had seen her when a short woman with curly hair passed by but it was just one of the employees. Seeing all of the many people there made her feel even dizzier than before but instead of fleeing, she felt like she was stuck in place. She couldn't move. She was literally frozen in fear.
"Are you okay?"
At hearing a familiar voice, Abby snapped out of her frozen state. It was her mom and she was standing in front of her. She hadn't realized it but at some point she had pulled down the mask she was wearing and because of this it seemed like her mom had recognized her. She felt like crying but held back her tears.
"Are you here to meet Abby?"
She didn't know why her mom would ask such a question when she hadn't been to her parents restaurant in a long time. Not knowing how to respond, she remained silent.
"It's her dad's birthday today and we were going to eat the cake I made him. Will you like to join us?"
Abby turned to look at a calendar that hung on one of the walls and saw that it was indeed her dad's birthday. She had forgotten all about it. Every year her mom baked a cake for her dad on his birthday and they would eat it together with her parent's landlord who was also their friend. A friend that happened to be a relative of Jun, the woman that raised him. Her mom had gotten along so well with her that they had become good friends and still were till that day. And despite having broken ties with Jun, his aunt had been nice enough to allow her parents to continue renting their apartment at a lower than average price just like they had first agreed on. Not only that but she was the one that had convinced Jun to sell his apartment to her.
"Ca—I mean Abby is here?" With Jun's aunt around it meant Cain wouldn’t be required to speak Spanish but she still wondered why he hadn't texted her to tell her about such a thing.
"You mean you didn't know? I thought she might have invited you. Well never mind that, I'm inviting you now. I'm sure you'll much rather go to the back room where there's less people, wouldn't you?"
Abby nodded, she was willing to go anywhere at that moment so long as it got her out of that crowded place and if Cain was there then all the more reason there was for her to go.
