TWELVE

Abby’s dad was still at the cash register when her mom got someone to take his place, Andres. He was the only employee there that looked out of place and not just because he was a foreigner from Spain, everyone that worked at her parents restaurant were foreigners. But with his tall lean body, broad shoulders, and fabulous light brown hair; he looked more like a model. Yet it wasn’t any of those good qualities that had caught Abby’s attention but his green eyes that had captivated her the moment they first locked eyes. He had been the only guy she tried to date after Jun and that was only because both him and her mom had been persistent. Had Andres not been there working the day she went to her parent’s restaurant as part of her exposure therapy, they might have never even met. She would have thought he’d already gone back to Spain so it surprised her to see him still working there. She had no doubt bumping into him would be an awkward experience were she still in her own body.

Having somewhat calmed down, Abby was able to see there were more employees than the last time she was there. It was a sign the restaurant was doing well and that made her feel less guilty for having her parents move with her to another country because of a guy she didn’t even end up marrying. Had it not been for her Agoraphobia, she would have already gone back to California and she was sure her parents would have done the same but were really only staying there because of her. Because not only was she afraid of going to crowded places like an airport but she was also scared of getting on a plane as the last time she had been on one was when she had her first ever panic attack.

She had been living in Seoul with Jun for some months at the time but had left to California for two weeks so she could help her parents pack. They had sold the beach house they loved so much just so they could move with her to Korea. But during one of her drives to get packing supplies she got into a car accident. It was only a week after her second surgery when she had her plane ticket to go back. The doctors had given her the OK to travel and so she got on the plane without knowing what would happen.

At the time Abby had never experienced a panic attack but she had however been feeling anxious ever since the accident. Her parents thought it was just wedding jitters but it wasn't. Because even though she hadn't known what to call what she had been feeling, every time she got into a car after the accident her heart would start to beat faster and it would get harder for her to breathe. Then later on it wasn't just getting into cars that made her feel this way but so did just being out.

A month passed like that and then another, her wedding was soon approaching. Wanting to get help for whatever it was she was experiencing, she went to see a doctor who then referred her to a psychologist. It was then Abby was told she had Agoraphobia. Jun however hadn’t believed her when she told him this. He thought she was only making it up as an excuse to not go out with him. And each time she refused to go out he would only get angrier. After a while he had given up on asking her but it was then that he also started to distance himself from her.

"My wife tells me you're Abby's friend? Nice to meet you. I'm her dad, Sergio."

She had been thinking about her past so intently she hadn’t even noticed she was already in the back room and that her dad was in front of her. He had his hand out to her, he expected her to shake it but once he saw she wouldn't, he took his hand and rubbed the back of his head with it.

"Oops. Sorry. I forgot. My wife told me you were a Germaphobe like my daughter, is that true?"

Not being able to speak, Abby simply nodded and watched as her dad took a seat at the end of the table. She noticed how he had a hand behind his back, it meant he was having back pain. He was even older than her mom although not by much, only a 4 year difference but he looked even older. He had more wrinkles and a head full of only white hair. Aging was only natural but Abby couldn’t help but think it was progressing even faster for her dad. It could have been because of his illnesses like diabetes and high blood pressure or it could have simply been because of the fact he was still working despite his age of 68. She had told him many times to stop working, that she could take care of the restaurant for them but who was she kidding. Working in a place full with people just wasn’t for her and her parents most likely already knew that.

"Well what are you waiting for boy, take a seat. Don’t be shy. I can assure you everything has been disinfected. My wife thoroughly cleaned just so Abby could be here sitting with us. Isn't that right, Abby?"

She was about to answer to her own name but then noticed her dad was looking at Cain who he thought was her. He answered with a simple “si” and smiled.

There was an empty chair some feet away from Cain but instead of sitting there, Abby grabbed it and placed it closer to him. She had to if she wanted to know how he had been doing and not only that but also why he hadn't told her about him being there.

"Hey. How are you doing? Had any difficulties so far?" She had to lean into him while she whispered so no one could hear.

"None whatsoever. I was a bit nervous at first when I got the text from your mom but then she told me about a Mrs. Lee that would be here so I figured I could get away with speaking in Korean."

He referred to Jun’s aunt who was on her phone and sat across from them. The interesting thing about Mrs. Lee was that everytime Abby saw her, the woman had a new hair color along with a different haircut. It was never anything too crazy but this time her hair was an almost violet color shoulder length bob. Before owning her own cosmetics company she had been a model so anything she tried out always looked good on her. It also helped that she looked younger than her age despite being in her late 40’s.

"I guess we’re lucky she’s best friends with my mom. But why didn't you text me to tell me about this? You should have told me as soon as my mom asked you to come. I could have helped you come up with an excuse so that you didn't have to be here."

Abby had never missed any of her parent's birthdays, not even when she started having Agoraphobia. She was the only family they had there after all. But despite that, she would have tried to come up with an excuse to not be there if Cain had only told her. It wasn’t really her that would be there anyways so she didn't see a point for him being at her parents restaurant just to celebrate the birthday of someone he didn't even know.

"It's your dad's birthday. How could I not have his daughter be with him on such a special day? Besides, I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn’t want me to come. But I was sure that if you were in your own body you would want to be here with your dad. So I did the only thing I could, I came and I'm playing your part as a daughter. I'm sure you would have done the same for me."

He was right, she would have done the same for him even though it would have been hard for her. It seemed like both of them were willing to do just about anything for the other.

"Now that I’ve answered your questions, could you answer one of mine?" Cain scooted his chair closer while making sure not to touch Abby.

"Sure." She didn't see why not. It was only fair he had questions just like she had them.

"A guy that works here...I think his name was Andres?"

"What about him?"

"Well I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend...he asked me if I wanted to hook up with him later tonight. He said he misses you."

It was hard for her to believe the guy still had a thing for her. They did have great sex but towards the end he wanted more from her, a serious relationship. While she just wanted the physical, he wanted the emotional. It was why they had cut off ties. Just imagining Cain having such an interaction with her past fling made Abby laugh. "What did you tell him?" She didn't think he would have said yes but she was still curious to know what he told him.

Cain put a hand over his face and slid down his chair. The conversation had turned more awkward than he expected and it made him regret asking. "Obviously I said no but I didn't know who he was to you or how you felt about him so I didn't say it rudely. I just declined politely." He turned to look at her and saw she was still laughing. "You still haven't told me who he is to you. If he's not your boyfriend, is he someone you just hook up with? Should I have told him you would text him later?" He really hoped she didn’t like the guy but he still had to be considerate of her feelings.

"Oh god no! You did good in not telling him I would text him because I wouldn’t have. He and I ended whatever we had a long time ago. I can’t believe he still even wants to hook up. He most likely just said it as an excuse to try to change my mind. Sex with him was good after all but not even that is enough to convince me to date."

“S-s-sex?” Cain blushed at the mention of such a word.

"Omo! You’ve made my daughter blush! It makes me wonder what you two were whispering about. You’re even sitting awfully close to each other considering how you’re both Germaphobes." Her mom arrived with two square white boxes, one with a pineapple upside down cake and the other a tres leches cake, both her dad’s favorites. She usually only ever made one but it looked like she went all out that year.

Seeing her mom smiling as she was while she looked at them both, Abby already knew what she was thinking. "Well you've said it, we're two Germaphobes. Us Germaphobes only allow others like us to be near us." She knew Cain wouldn’t say anything and she couldn't let her mom get her hopes up just because she wanted her to find someone to date.

"Oh. Are you two not dating?” Mrs. Lee who had just put her phone away, spoke for the first time. Even though she might have seemed busy typing away on her phone, she had managed to take a few peeks at the two. “The way I saw you both so close to each other and even laughing, I thought perhaps you were."

"See. Even Mrs. Lee thinks you two look like a couple."

"Ma—Mrs. Hernandez, is it? With all due respect, I'm eight years your daughter's junior and I don't think she's interested in dating someone that young." Abby had been close to talking to her in Spanish and calling her mom but caught herself before she did. It just felt odd for her to address her own mother as if she were a stranger.

"Well she doesn't look eight years older than you, does she? She actually looks around your age if you ask me. My daughter has always looked younger than her age just like her momma. She got my good genes." Her mom flipped her curly hair and winked at them both.

"Maybe the boy is just saying that because he's the one that's not interested. But what if Abby were to give Jun anot—"

"I am interested." Cain cut off whatever Mrs. Lee was about to say and stood up with both hands flat on the table.

"You are interested in what my dear?” Abby’s mom lowered her purple reading glasses and looked at Cain. “You do realize what Mrs. Lee was about to say, don’t you? She was about to suggest you get back together with Jun, your ex. I thought you said you were never getting back with him even if he were the last man on Earth. Have you perhaps changed your mind or have you just gone crazy?"

Cain’s mouth opened and closed as he didn't know what to say, he had spoken without thinking.

Since he wouldn’t do it, Abby had to stand up and speak for herself. "She would never. She told me she hated her ex, sorry Mrs. Lee. The guy is a jerk."

Cain noticed both Abby’s parents and Mrs. Lee staring at him, he could tell they expected him to say something. “He’s right and I—uh—actually meant I was interested in eating these delicious cakes that are in front of us right now. I'm starving. So how about we dig in?" He rubbed a hand over his stomach and pretended he was hungry.

The rest of the evening was somewhat awkward but Cain tried to act more like Abby while she continued to play her role as him. It was a tiring night for both but they were able to end it early as it was almost 9 and she had to return to the dorms. Cain decided to accompany her outside while she waited for a taxi but quickly regretted it once she started yelling at him.

"What were you thinking back there?! You almost ruined things! Why did you have to say you were interested out of nowhere?! Hadn't you realized Mrs. Lee was still talking?! And not only that but she was about to suggest I get back together with my ex! How embarrassing!" Abby liked Mrs. Lee but it wasn't the first time she had brought up such a thing. She really wished she would stop trying to get her back with her nephew.

"But she said I wasn't interested in you..."

"Yea, and so what? You aren't so what's the big deal if she said that? She was only saying the truth." Abby threw both her arms up in the air and turned her back on Cain.

He was about to correct her and tell her he was interested but just then the taxi arrived.

"The taxi is here. I have to go. Please do text me if something like this happens again." And just like that she left him before he was able to respond.

Abby had noticed Cain wanting to say something but she didn't want to make the taxi driver any more impatient than he already would be once she started to clean the backseat. She did however feel bad for having gone off on him. It was just that she was tired of everyone always telling her to be with someone.

Just as the taxi turned the corner, Abby felt Cain’s phone vibrate in her jeans pocket. She took it out thinking it was a text from one of the members but was surprised to see it was Cain. Technically he was still a member of the group but she hadn't expected a text from him so soon as they had literally just been together.

<I'm sorry.>

Cain had wanted to apologize to her but he didn't get the chance to. And he wasn't just sorry for what he did but also for what she had gone through in the past, for whatever it was that was still hurting her. He didn't think she deserved any of that pain.

<I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. I know it must be hard but you've been trying your best to act as me and I appreciate that truly. You went above and beyond just by being there with my parents tonight. You didn't have to but you still did and that was really nice of you. So thank you.>

<It's okay. I know it was hard for you as well to want to say things as yourself but not being able to. I know I should have done a better job at being you but for that I would probably have to get to know you better> ...I wished we still lived together.

He had typed the last part but then ended up deleting it before sending the text.

<You're right. You would need to know me better in order to be able to do a better job at being me. I on the other hand at least know some things about you since I've been your fan since you debuted. So to make things fair, I'll tell you anything about me if you just ask.>

She had already told him some things about her but none of them had been too personal like things he might have to know in order to be able to fully act like her. And one thing she hadn't told him was about her tragic past, at least not all of it. All she told him was that she had gotten her scars from a car accident but didn't give him any of the details and he had been considerate enough not to pry.

<Anything?>

His text made her realize she shouldn't have said that. She was fine with telling him things but not everything.

<Ok. Is Neon Green your favorite color?>

He wanted to start with a lighter question and thought it was best to ask something basic even if he was almost certain of the answer.

<Yes. Any more questions? Things you actually don't know but want to know.>

<What's your type?>

He knew it was a daring question but he wanted to know.

<What's my type of what? Blood?>

She knew what Cain had meant from the start but wanted to mess with him. Out of all the things he could have asked her she didn't know why he chose to ask such a thing. It wasn't like he would start to date guys for her.

Even though Abby did have a type, she had always been open minded. It was why no two guys she ever dated had been alike. In high school she dated an emo, a skater, a soccer player, a baseball player, a football player, a theater geek, and a drummer in a band. Not only were their personalities different but so were their ethnicities.

<Well...I don’t really know what to tell you. I don’t even know why you would think such a question would be important enough to ask. But since I did say you could ask me anything, I’ll give you a hint but only a hint since it would be too embarrassing to say it. My ideal type is exactly like one of the members in Adam. Well except for this one thing I recently found out about him...>

<Interesting. And may I know what that one thing is?>

He thought he could figure it out if she told him.

<Nope. Because that would only give it away.>

She was pretty sure Abel was the only messy one in the group as when she had gone to clean the other two rooms neither of them had really been all that messy, at least not as much as she had thought. The other members had most of their stuff organized with the exception of a few things laying around but it was nothing out of the ordinary considering they were guys and had busy schedules.

A small part of Cain believed it could be him as she didn’t want to tell him although he knew it wasn’t good to get his hopes up. There were seven other members after all and the fact he was her bias didn’t guarantee anything.

Abby ended up deleting and rewriting the last part before sending the text message. Instead of saying she wasn’t looking to date, she had written she wasn’t looking to get hurt because it was really what she didn’t want.

Even though Cain did have more questions, he felt like their conversation had taken too much of an awkward turn for him to ask anything more at that moment.