part0015

Throughout our correspondence Eric wrote the nicest things - things that felt right to my heart. I needed the loving sentiments that he expressed to get me through each day. I wanted to be worthy of his affections and, with each note, my heart was filled with joy.

Early on Eric and I were talking about one of his friends who was having trouble getting onto the online dating site where we met. Terry was his childhood friend, an architect working in Saudi Arabia, as well as other places around the world. I think the enrollment cost was around $45 and for some reason Terry couldn’t get his payment to process. Eric asked if I would go ahead and send a check in to the site so that Terry could enjoy the companionship of someone like me! I was game and if Terry could have as much fun as Eric and I were having, what the heck…$45 wasn’t too much for a friend. So I sent the check.

A month later all was great with Terry, or so Eric said, and Eric’s next request was for me to set up a bank account for us so that he had an account where funds from his job overseas could be deposited before he arrived in person. The only way I could set up the account was to open it in my name with him as the beneficiary. Then when he got here we could make it a joint account for the two of us. I sent him the account number, the bank address and wire instructions so that he could instruct his company to wire money directly here. It was simple and easy, or so I thought. I had my “ banking hat” on during this transaction and everything went smoothly, and I got to know so many of the bank personnel during this time.

Soon after I set up this account, Eric told me that he had spoken to his attorney, Peter, who suggested that in order to ensure a successful wire transfer between the bank in India and the account here that they needed to prepare a “Certificate of Ownership” which would be presented to the bank in India. This would, in general, let the Bank of India know it was okay to send the large sum of money to an account titled only in my name but on behalf of Eric Cole. The notarization and preparation would cost us 6,000 pounds. Hmmmm! Well, we then had our first little tiff and it was about finances. Now isn’t that a surprise! I had to take a huge leap of faith and believe in Eric and his abilities and capabilities and trust that giving him some financial assistance would speed up his return home to me. I sent these funds via Western Union and had to split them into two different transactions. I went to Publix supermarket for the first transfer and the customer representative said, “That’s a lot of money to be sending to Malaysia!” I told her that I had to get a friend home for the holidays and she believed me.

A few weeks after that, and right before Christmas, Eric asked me to help him with his flight back to the States. I knew he was short on funds because he was waiting for his job to finish up and then he would be paid a substantial payment. There was nothing unusual about this in my mind as I have had many orders where I put up the money first and then get paid at the end of production. It’s the waiting to get paid at the end that’s the hardest! This latest request was to be sent again via Western Union to a friend of Eric’s in Malaysia. He and Eric were going to pick up the funds and then get to the airport to buy an airline ticket to Florida. As a banker I had never used Western Union for money transfers and I guess I was a little suspicious of using them, but they are very efficient and can deliver money pretty quickly around the world. I wanted to do this for Eric because I REALLY wanted him to come “home” and it was time to meet in person!

We got things ready for Eric to fly home and then I received a message that the shipping company was levying a tax on the shipment as it was sitting in port. Eric and Peter had to come up with a large sum of money to get the shipment released and once again they came to me. Eric told me that he hadn’t had this tax levied against him before, but that it was a risk involved in their business and that’s why the profits were so “mouthwatering”! He said that contractors were solely responsible for every expense incurred in the course of purchase and delivery and that he had to bear the brunt of the expenses until he delivered the shipment and all was accepted by the client. I did get to speak to him on the phone at this point because I needed to discuss this issue with him “in person”. The telephone connection was awful but I heard his voice and it was British! All along I told him that I was a very prudent, cautious woman when it came to finances. He was very empathetic and convinced me that any financial support would be repaid as soon as he got home with me. My heart ruled my head on this front.

From this point on Eric, Peter, his attorney, and I encountered the most incredible obstacles while ensuring the tree delivery to the Indian clients. If there were tariffs or taxes to be levied, we paid them. If the port authorities needed extra paperwork, we had to get it to them. Nothing was easy, cheap, or done the way I expected it to be done here in the USA.

I had my share of corporate legal training when I worked as a paralegal in Denver in my early years and I had many years of banking experience when I was with World Savings and Wachovia banks just a few years ago but I had never encountered obstacles like these. I couldn’t understand the WHYs to the delays or the huge amounts of money needed to reconcile the issues, but Eric continued to calm me down and encouraged me to help him so that he’d get home to me…that was my only goal at that point. He appreciated my support and gave me hugs from afar in spite of the knots twisting in my stomach.

My December 22, 2010, journal entry sums up how I felt right before Christmas. I felt this way many times throughout our journey together but I had invested my heart and soul and nothing was going to get me out of it.

“Well, as of yesterday I was ready to toss in the towel on my Brit...I was so frustrated with everything and so convinced that I'd never hear from him and then this morning there was an instant message from him waiting on my computer...saying he had internet connection troubles and he missed me and loved me. I'm an emotional roller coaster and this is very unsettling. I'm either a huge fool or this is going to be a wonderful relationship!”

Debby: I am a little scared that you may not be coming...and that's only because of the unknown...not having ever held you in my arms...and I don't want you to think I'm some unbalanced American woman (!) as I'm not...but this past week has had me off balance...I've never done the things that I did this week and my reasonable self is going NUTS as my heart is driving my actions and that's not usually me! So much of me is so in love with you and I can't imagine that you wouldn't be true to me. I really need a HUG! I'm sorry...I probably sound so neurotic...and I'm NOT!! lol

Eric: Sweetheart...Please listen to me. I just want you to know something here and now which I believe is very important in our relationship. I am your man and my love for you is endless. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you Debby. You are the one that befits my heart desire and if I say that I love and care about you then I will NEVER make you cry in pain but in love instead.

Who wouldn’t melt with those words said to them? I was certainly disappointed with his not arriving for the holidays but for some reason my spirit was calmed just knowing he was there for me and he would be for almost two years.