part0016

All along I was interested in getting to know Eric’s family because I believe that family is one of the most important parts of my life. Eric’s parents were deceased and he only had one sister, Mary. I wanted to get to know Mary as soon as possible so that I could get an idea of what Eric was like – from her perspective! At first I asked if she had an email address. That would be the first and easiest way I could connect with her because she was living in England with Kenny, Eric’s 10-year-old son. Eric always spoke fondly about Mary and Kenny.

After Sarah, Eric’s wife, died, Mary was his “rock” and she took over the responsibilities of raising Kenny while Eric was traveling all over the world with business. Mary was also a widow and had never gotten over the death of her husband. She had five children and several grandchildren and she loved having them around, but she had a special bond with her “little brother”! I was excited to get to talk to her about Eric and to hear about his relationship with Sarah.

Eric and I started talking about family activities as the Christmas holidays approached that first year. Eric sent me pictures of his home in London and spoke of how Mary loved to decorate for the holidays. I especially love Christmas and go all out with lovely decorations. I put up a beautiful 10-foot Christmas tree every year, but I kept it up for over two Christmas seasons because I wanted Eric to see it !

Eric was so kind when he talked about Mary. He sent me a picture of her and said, “She is very homely and sweet.” I believe he might have meant “homey” as Mary loved doing things around her home! He said she loved to “sing all around the house”! I thought that would be fun to have her sing as I play the piano, and we could make beautiful music together. Christmas together would be pure JOY!

Mary and I connected on multiple occasions and we became just like sisters. We talked about life after losing a spouse. We talked about raising our children. We talked about our spiritual experiences and how we wanted to go on in the future. Mary always questioned me about Eric and my intentions. I questioned her on his past and how he treated his wife Sarah. You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his mother and his sister. I asked her how he was as a father and if she thought he’d be good for me. We laughed out loud as we instant messaged each other for hours on end. She would be interrupted by Kenny and his antics and sometimes she would have him sit and write to me…that was fun as I got to know “my littlest son” and that’s I began to think of him.

I couldn’t afford all of the money transfers by myself, so Mary and I shared the agony of splitting the financial transactions that Eric had asked us to help him with. She was on a fixed income and had limited resources just as I did, but we always came up with the requested funds because we both believed in him. She sold jewelry just as I did. She lived modestly as did I. We were “kindred spirits” in many ways and we loved the same man…one as a brother and one as a future husband. I wanted to Skype with her and Kenny and asked to connect many times, but she said that she didn’t have a good enough computer. She said that Eric promised her a new one when his job was completed. Wow, there were so many promises resting on the results of this overseas assignment.

Kenny and I had the most fun relationship because he interacted with me like any 10-year-old boy would. He’d come speeding into our conversations after Mary had him do his chores or before he had to get to his schoolwork. We’d be instant messaging at an incredibly fast pace…both of us type very quickly and we kept our conversations lively and full of teasing and fun. I enjoyed our discussions and I peppered him with LOTS of questions throughout as I needed to find out as much about the family as I could through him and Mary. I needed to validate the family as best I could so that I could keep things intact with Eric.

I sent Mary several packages and Kenny some postcards from trips that I took with the kids at Poinciana Elementary. Interesting though, I got all of the letters and packages back from the UK with “addressee unknown” and each time I asked Eric what was going on he came up with a plausible excuse as to why the things were returned. The mail was just another frustrating but accepted part of our relationship.

Although I didn’t go into dating with any thought of having more children to be responsible for, Kenny made me laugh and I felt like I’d be a good “mom” for him since Sarah had died when he was a little boy. My kids would be incredible big brothers and sister to him and even Matt mentioned on more than one occasion that he wished he had a younger sibling…one that he could have teased as the older kids did to him!

Although I have a terrific family of my own, I felt needed again…by a young boy that needed a mother, by a sister who needed a friend and by a sweet man who needed to be loved again. Family is a great thing!

Soon after Eric and I started writing, Matt and I went out to dinner and had a wonderful discussion about my dating again. I didn't beat around the bush this time and I asked him what he thought about my going out again. I told him that I was pretty picky and that I didn't want to start over financially. I wanted someone who “isn't broke”! I told him I needed someone well-educated and well-travelled. He seemed to understand and realized that Lou wouldn't want me to be by myself forever. We didn't talk specifics at first, but then I told him about Eric and his living in England. I asked Matt if he wanted to move to London. "Not really" was his response but he said he didn't mind if I were to do that after he left for college. I also asked if he would mind a younger brother. I know it sounds like things are moving too quickly, but I thought I'd throw it out so there wouldn't be any surprises in the event one day I brought someone home with kids younger than Matt. I never thought I'd entertain that idea, but I'm not too adverse to a child older than 10. I didn't want to scare Matt with this information, but I also didn’t want to spring it on him one day out of the blue. He is a great young man. I asked him what Chris and Charlie might think. He had no idea about Chris, my consummate bachelor, but he thought Charlie may be more amenable as he was getting close to Amanda, his new girlfriend from Oklahoma! Jen would be fine at some point…just not tomorrow.