As he stared at his lye pellets, pH strips, distilled water, paint stripper, and tiny vials of finished product, he couldn’t shake the thought that had been on his mind the entire walk home from Amanda’s house the previous evening. The sight of that sinful woman puking on the floor had haunted him like a buzzing fly that wouldn’t go away.
He raised one hand and dug his nails into his fist, thinking about hitting the wall for a second but resisting the urge.
What good would that do?
He’d lose his safety deposit.
Closing his eyes, he reconsidered where he stood. He’d been put on this earth to cleanse souls, not floors. He could either ditch his latest batch or test it on himself.
Hesitation hovered over him like a black cloud as he pondered his options. If he had in fact messed up his recipe, he could die. Suicide, even by mistake, was the worst sin of all. He knew that all too well.
Inhaling deeply, he knelt, brought his hands together, and began praying for her soul even though it was damned. Then he tried to clear his mind so he could hear God’s voice coming to him.
Focusing on his breath was his gateway to a trance. Three. Four. Five sets of deep inhalations and exhalations were enough for his worries to dissipate and morph into hope.
Hope for salvation. Hope for God reuniting with His misguided souls.
Through his hands, following His voice and guidance, he could save the sinners around him and make them join Him by His side while they still could.
Looking at his vials and raw ingredients—and knowing he couldn’t afford the expensive drugs they sold on street corners—he emptied the mixture down the kitchen drain and got ready to start a fresh batch.
Grabbing his container of paint stripper, he measured the appropriate volume he’d printed from the Internet. Then he used his kitchen scale to weigh his lye pellets. He took out the stainless steel pot he used solely for that purpose then began preparing a new batch of cleansing solution.
As he double-checked the measurement of the first ingredient, he couldn’t help but reflect on how different he was from the other people in his field. He believed in God, of course. Faith led his life and directed all of his decisions, but he always wanted to understand everyone else’s views. Educating oneself never hurt anyone, and it was also wonderfully helpful when bridging the gap between people of various faiths. Converting someone was much easier once you knew where they came from.
So he’d taken quite a few extra-curricular classes online while attending seminary. He had grown quite fond of chemistry and physics in particular. He liked to think that faith was the missing variable in quantum mechanics. His beliefs were, of course, not the most popular among those he worked with, so he kept them to himself. But chemistry had most definitely proven useful over the past few months. Very useful indeed. Science and faith had always enhanced each other in his hands, guided by Him.
Another flash of Amanda puking on her floor came to mind, which made him triple-check the measurements.
He had to focus.
No more distraction.
As he added the right quantity of distilled water to his pot, he committed to carefully adhering to the correct timing and temperatures to make his latest batch the greatest one yet.