KARA NEEDED TO get this over with as soon as possible. But before she could utter another word, Jason’s lips were pressed to hers. She should pull away so they could finish talking, but after what he’d just told her, she didn’t have the heart. He needed to know without a doubt that he was still worthy of love.
As the kiss intensified, desire flooded her body and short-circuited her best intentions. For so long now she’d been holding herself back from him, but no longer. She met his kiss with a burning heat of her own. Her arms wrapped around his trim waist, pulling him to her. His body was hard and solid against hers. She could barely believe this was happening, that he was holding her close again.
She’d dreamed of this moment for years, never believing it’d happen. Perhaps her fairy godmother was lurking in the shadows of the Christmas tree, waving her magic wand.
Jason sank down onto the couch, pulling Kara with him. His lips still teased and taunted hers. He tasted buttery, like the big tub of popcorn they’d shared at the theater. She traced his lips with her tongue, savoring the added saltiness.
His kisses trailed up her jaw to her earlobe, where he probed and tickled her, sending waves of shivers down her spine. His fingers played with the hem of her sweater, sneaking underneath to her bare waist. More goose bumps swept over her skin.
He stopped kissing his way down her neck long enough to say in a breathy voice, “We’ve wasted too many years apart. Marry me?”
“What?”
She yanked herself out of his embrace. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Her breathing still rushed, Kara moved to the far end of the couch, trying to gather her composure. She straightened her clothes before running a hand over her hair.
“That’s not exactly the reaction I was expecting.”
“You’re serious?” When he nodded, she continued, “You’re not just getting caught up in the moment?”
A broad smile lit up his eyes. “It shouldn’t be that big of a shock. After all, this isn’t exactly the first time I asked you.”
“But there’s Samantha to consider.”
“I know. But you said the biological father isn’t part of her life. We’ll just petition him to relinquish his rights.” When Kara didn’t say anything, Jason squeezed her hand. “Will the man give us problems?”
The backs of her eyes stung and Jason’s image blurred. “Not like you’re thinking. But there’s something important you need to know.”
Jason’s gut churned as it used to do when he was out on patrol in hostile territory. Right now his internal radar system was telling him to duck for cover.
Until this moment, he didn’t understand how much Samantha had come to mean to him in such a short period of time. Only a couple of months ago, if someone had told him he was a father, Jason would have been in total denial. Now, he’d no more be able to deny his connection to Samantha than he could deny his love for her mother. He was more than ready to step up and accept a role in Samantha’s life—in both of their lives.
“We’ll deal with it together,” he said, with all the confidence in the world. “What’s the guy’s name?”
He’d had long enough to come to terms with Samantha being another man’s child. He didn’t like it, but at least now he could think about it without losing his temper.
“You don’t understand....”
“I know this is hard, but just tell me his name.”
Kara’s face paled to a sickly white, and her bottom lip trembled. “Before I do, there’s something you have to understand.”
The raw emotion in her eyes ripped at his gut. Jason stood on the cusp of losing the future he’d come to dream of—the future he desperately wanted. His arms dropped to his sides and his hands clenched into tight balls. No, this can’t be happening.
“Don’t do this.” The hoarse words tore from his throat.
A single tear dropped onto her cheek. She swiped it away.
“I’m sorry, but you need to hear the truth—the whole truth.”
He was a man who’d been on the front line of combat, who’d faced the enemy and never considered backing down. But at this moment, he wanted to make a hasty retreat. His eyes searched out the door, yet his feet wouldn’t cooperate. Running from the truth wouldn’t change it.
“Whatever you have to say, I can deal with it,” he said. He had to.
He loved them.
The revelation stole the air from his lungs. He wanted Kara and Samantha more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life, including restoring his family’s resort. He couldn’t let this thing between them end before it had barely begun.
Surely whatever she had to say couldn’t be nearly as bad as what he’d told her. Kara was just overreacting. If she could forgive and accept him, then he could do the same for her now. After all, wasn’t that the foundation of a good relationship—being able to forgive each other?
“When you left—” Kara’s voice cracked. She started again. “After you’d ended our engagement with no explanation, I was devastated.”
She pressed her lips together and swallowed. “For a couple of months I hid in my room. I cried my eyes out, trying to figure out what I’d done wrong to make you leave. I hoped and prayed you’d change your mind and come back for me.” She paused, sucking in an unsteady breath. “I even asked your father for your phone number or address, any way I could get in contact with you.”
“I didn’t let him know where I was stationed. I even changed my last name, to make it impossible for him.”
“Your father sounded so broken up when he told me he hadn’t heard from you. I was totally lost and I hurt so badly. My friends rallied around me. They said I needed to forget you and get on with my life. They insisted I go out with them to a party. But they didn’t understand. How could they understand what you and I shared?”
Her words were like a sledgehammer, beating at his chest. Jason opened his mouth, searching for an apology. Unable to find words to express the depth of his regret, he closed his mouth. She wouldn’t even look at him now. Her hands were clenched in her lap. He wanted to reach out to her, but his nerve faltered.
Kara had never been a partier. She’d much rather be doing outdoor sports than watching her friends get drunk. Something must have happened at that party. His chest struggled for each breath as he waited.
The silence flowed on. Her pink lips trembled. He’d always been drawn by them. Surprised he’d noticed them now of all times, he continued to stare. The temptation to smother them in a reassuring kiss and erase the rest of this doomed story overrode his apprehension. He stepped forward. Maybe just one kiss could change this perilous course they were on, but logic told him it’d only delay the inevitable. This journey had been preordained years ago.
He pulled his foot back and took a firm stance. “Kara, whatever it is, just say it.”
“At the party,” she said, giving him a hesitant glance, “I found a dark corner and stayed there. I regretted going, but since I hadn’t driven, I had to wait for my ride. Anyway, someone decided I needed to loosen up, so they spiked my drink. When I realized what they’d done, I hesitated. I wasn’t thinking clearly, but they convinced me that the drink would take the edge off the pain.”
She paused, her eyes not meeting his. One by one, each muscle in his body grew rigid, while a sickening feeling brewed in his gut.
“I was young and stupid. I don’t have any other excuse for what happened next. One drink led to another and another. You know I didn’t drink, so it didn’t take long before I was feeling good—too good.” She rubbed her hands together. “Shaun showed up. Someone had called him when they found me wasted. He took care of me....”
Jason’s uneasiness ramped up to an excruciating pain, as though he’d been riddled with bullets, left on the side of the road to die a slow, agonizing death. He wanted to be there for Kara, just as she’d been there for him, but this...this was different.
“I was wrong,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I don’t want to hear this.”
He took a step toward the door.
“You have to listen.” The eerie, high-pitched tone of her voice put a stop to his retreat. “You can’t run away. Not this time.”
His teeth ground together. His jaw flexed. The door was in sight, but the determination in Kara’s voice told him that she’d follow him this time. He summoned up the courage he’d clung to on the battlefield, and turned.
Kara stood now. Her gaze held his with a fierce determination. “You weren’t there to help me—but like always, Shaun filled in. He was your lifelong best friend. We had been the Three Musketeers. I trusted him almost as much as I trusted you.”
She dashed away another tear. “He attempted to sober me up. He took me to his car, intent on getting me home.”
Jason felt trapped on a runaway train. His life whizzed past him and there was no way to get off. He could only hold on, bracing for the devastating collision with the truth.
“On the way, I started to cry. Shaun pulled off on one of the desolate country roads. It was late and there wasn’t any traffic. He tried to comfort me—”
“Stop.” Jason’s voice thundered in the room. He couldn’t bear to hear any more.
The stabbing pain in his chest had him glancing down, searching for blood. He took a moment to gather his shattered illusions.
“Shaun is Samantha’s father?” he asked, stumbling to latch on to this fact.
Kara nodded. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks. “Yes, he is.”
The brown hair and blue eyes made sense now. Jason and Shaun had been mistaken all their lives for brothers because of their similar looks.
Shaun. His best friend.
And Kara. Kara! The only woman he’d ever loved.
How was it possible his girl and his best friend had created a baby?
Pain spanned from temple to temple. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be some kind of sick, twisted nightmare. Kara and Shaun never would have betrayed him like this.
Jason’s breath came in short, rapid puffs.
“This can’t be right. Kara, tell me it isn’t true. Tell me you’re saying this to get even with me for leaving you, and none of it is true.”
“I can’t.”
“But how? Why?” The questions tumbled through his mind. “Did you always have a thing for him?”
“No. It was a mistake. A combination of too much to drink, a deep aching loneliness and hearing that Shaun loved me.”
“He loved you?” Would the blows never stop coming?
“He admitted that he loved me, but up until then he hadn’t been able to do anything about it, because of you....”
Jason ran a hand over his mouth, trying to remember some sign, some hint he’d missed. “I had no idea. How could I have been so blind?”
“You weren’t the only one. I didn’t know, either.”
Her words didn’t comfort him. Inside, he was mortally wounded, worse than when his father had smacked him in the face with the truth about his parentage. Jason had thought nothing could hurt worse than that, but he had been oh so wrong.
His vision grew blurry as he looked at Kara, no longer seeing the woman he loved, but rather the woman who’d betrayed him with his best friend, and stolen away the child he’d so wanted to be his little girl.
“Why?” His voice croaked out. “Why him?”
If it had been anyone else in the world, he’d have been able to deal with it. But not the one guy he’d considered a brother.
He had been wrong.
He couldn’t forgive this.
If that made him less of a man, more a coward, so be it.
Shaun being the father of Kara’s little girl made Jason’s stomach lurch. The thought of his best friend and the woman he’d wanted to marry clinging to each other—Shaun’s lips on hers—made the bile rush to the back of his mouth. Jason swallowed hard, pushing down the sickening thought.
When Kara opened her mouth to speak, he held up a hand to stop her. “Don’t answer. I don’t want to hear it. I can’t believe you betrayed me with my best friend.”
He couldn’t stay here any longer. He was going to be ill.
In a few quick strides, barely noticing his injured knee’s protest, he reached the door. His hand paused on the doorknob for just a moment. With a shake of his head to clear away the image of Kara in Shaun’s arms, he yanked open the door and rushed into the frigid, dark night.
He’d never been so sick or so alone in his entire life.