Holy fuck! I've never had sex like that. Being with Cy is better than any fantasy I’ve had—better than any man I've ever been with. It is earth-shattering, soul deep, never-want-it-to-end, amazing.
I relax against him. One of his hands is still wrapped around my hair, while his other is drawing lazy circles over my stomach. He pulls my head to the side and trails kisses along the column of my neck. I squirm out of his hold, gripping my hair to shake him free. It's not that I didn't thoroughly enjoy the way he fucked me, but I want to kiss him and can't do that in my current position.
He lets go and takes a step back, his dick leaving me, causing an instant, empty feeling. I turn and reach for him, but he's a few steps away now, his eyes cast down to the deck below. I walk toward him, but he holds out a hand to stop me.
"What's wrong?" I ask. Something happened that I missed, and it makes me uneasy.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Say what now?
"You didn't hurt me. I turned so I could kiss you."
He says nothing, so I approach hesitantly. First, I lay my hand on his arm. He doesn't move. Then I use the other to lift his face to mine. His eyes close.
"Talk to me," I plead. He shakes his head. My breath hitches as I fight the emotions tumbling through me. I hate seeing him upset. I want to ease all his worries. The gentle wind at my back makes goosebumps break out over my skin. "Cy, please." A single tear leaves the corner of his eye, causing my own to follow. He’s scaring me. Does he regret what we did? "Talk to me."
"I..." I wrap my arms around him, our naked bodies pressed together. I need to feel him against me. He returns my embrace, his strong arms encasing me in a tight hold as he trembles slightly. "I was too rough with you," he continues. "I didn't want to cause you pain." He thinks he hurt me.
"You didn't," I say against his skin. "I loved everything you did. You made me feel so good. Please, don't be upset. You did nothing wrong."
He leans down to bury his face in my hair and neck, his warm breath caressing my skin as he speaks. "I told you I was fucked up. I can't even do this right."
"You were perfect."
He shakes his head and moves us back to the chair, pulling me with him as he sits. I try to look him in the eyes, but he won't let me. He's back in the crook of my neck, hugging me tightly.
"I told you I like pleasure with pain. It's fucked up, Evie. I'm sorry. I was hurting you this time instead of myself."
I lightly rake my nails through his hair. "I loved every moment of it. I wouldn't lie about that. If you were truly hurting me, I would have told you."
"Are you sure I didn't hurt you?" His voice cracks while he talks. I'm getting angry but not at him. It's at Everett for doing this to him. Fucking asshole. But I rein it in. I don't want Cy to mistake my anger.
I keep my tone gentle, reassuring. "Positive. Look at me, Cy."
He pulls back and I see so much hurt in his eyes. Hurt over the possibility of harming me. Hurt at thinking he shouldn’t be the way he is. I cup his cheek in my hand and rub my thumb over his skin. "You are everything I want and you gave me so much pleasure. You felt so good inside me. So right. Always be yourself with me. I don't want you any other way. You are perfect to me."
He shakes his head. "No, I'm fucking broken, Evie. I'm a damn mess. I wish I weren't. I want to be what you need, but I don't think I can be."
"You already are."
I kiss him gently, without rush. I try to show him with my lips and hands how much I cherish this time with him. How I'm not judging him, or thinking any differently of him, after everything we just experienced. He's mine. Every broken piece.
He returns my kiss, but it's with none of the same heat we just had. He's unsure, and no matter how much I try to coax him, he's not as responsive. Still naked, I stand and collect my clothes. He doesn't move but watches me intently. I grab his clothes then reach for his hand. To my surprise, he takes it. We go through the house toward the bedrooms. I have no idea whose is whose until I find one with laptops stacked up on a desk. This is his. Has to be. I deposit our clothes on the floor near the bed then lead him into the attached bathroom. I don't want to lose our connection, and I'm afraid he’s slipping through my fingers. I can't let him retreat, or feel as if he did something wrong, when he didn't even come close to doing so.
He doesn't release my hand but holds onto me as I turn the shower on and get the water warm. I leave the light off in the bathroom since the blinds are still raised over the window. The last remaining rays of the sun are dipping down and giving us enough light to see one another.
The bathroom is huge, with a shower big enough for four. I've seriously never seen anything like it. The walls of the shower are large grey tile, while the floor is made from varying shades of black and grey pebbles. There are two rain showerheads and others that spray from the walls. I only turn on the top. I don't need all that crazy shit to enjoy this time with him. I want to focus on him, not the fancy shower.
Stepping inside, I tug him behind me. He comes without question, for which I'm grateful. The shower is well-stocked with shampoo, conditioner, body wash, a bar of soap, and a razor. I forgo the washcloth and shower pouf and squirt a small amount of body wash in my hands. I lather it up and proceed to wash the wide expanse of Cy's back. His muscles tense under my touch, but I continue. I wash down his rock-hard ass, up every ridge of his abs and to his chest. He doesn't smile, doesn't hint at any emotion, but he also doesn't take his eyes off me. I wash down each arm, paying special attention to his fingers. I love his hands. Just remembering the ways they drove me wild causes me to press my legs together. Then I drop to my knees before him.
With steady hands, I wash him from his toes all the way up to his hips. I then move to his now hard dick. God, I want him again, but I'm going to take it slow, and it's going to be about him. I start at the base and wash him to the tip. The water from the shower beats down over us, rinsing the soap away. I begin to stroke him, my other hand on his thigh. It flexes beneath my palm, the only indication he's enjoying what I'm doing. I glance up and find his eyes trained on me. I hold them as I lean forward and take him into my mouth. His reaction is instant. His eyes shut, and his hand lands on the back of my head. He's not pushing me but holding me gently. I close my eyes as well and concentrate on taking him to the back of my throat, while my hand strokes the remaining length I'm unable to take. Drops of pre-cum hit my tongue. I pull back and swirl it around his tip, collecting every bit. He moans, his other hand pressing to my head as well.
I begin to work him fast as I provide suction as well. It's a matter of moments before he stills my head, not letting me continue as he tries to hold off his impending release. Both of my hands wrap around to the backs of his thighs to pull him toward me. I want him to set the pace. I want him to fuck me the way he wants.
He starts slow, and I know it's because he's trying to be gentle with me. I help along the way, pushing and pulling by using my hands on his thighs. His thrusts increase. He's moving fast, but I take as much of him as I can. Luckily, he's not choking me. He knows when to stop and pull back before pushing in again. Then he removes himself completely from my lips. He strokes himself as I open my mouth, wanting him on my tongue. I look up at him and he's so gone with lust. He's fucking gorgeous as he pumps his dick. Drops from the shower hit my face, then, it’s more than water hitting me. He's coming, and I can't help but reach down and rub myself.
His hand braces on the wall as I lick my lips and swallow what he gives me. He looks down again and traces his finger along my face. He notices where my hand is and drops to the floor so we're level. Thankfully, the pebbles are smooth beneath my knees.
He nudges aside my hand from between my thighs. "Stand up, Evie," he says with a deep, husky voice.
I brace my hands on his shoulders to lift myself up. Suddenly, I feel very exposed in front of him, like he's looking at my every flaw. I'm slender but still have curves. I'm not stick thin like the other women he's been with. Out on the deck, none of this bothered me. It was only us, and it was fast and rough. But this is different. I wrap my hands over my stomach to try to cover myself, but Cy brushes them away.
"Never hide," he says as he feathers his lips over my lower stomach. "You're so beautiful," he murmurs.
Cy kisses lower until he's on the very spot I want him most. He parts me and sweeps his tongue over my clit, causing me to cry out at the sensation and hold on to him for fear of falling over.
His hands cup my ass to hold me in place as he shows me attention like I've never had before. Sure, men have gone down on me, but it's never felt this good. Never been done with so much care.
One of his hands moves from my hip so he can enter me: one finger, then two. He starts pushing them in and out while his tongue continues to drive me wild. My orgasm rushes through me with a force I can't contain. I tremble against him, cries of pleasure leaving my lips. He doesn't let up. He keeps me riding the wave until I finally pull his head away, unable to take it any longer.
The sun has almost fully set, the room bathed in darkness. My eyes have adjusted, still able to see Cy on the pebbled floor before me.
He stands and immediately finds my mouth. Our tongues touch, mingling our tastes. A barrage of emotions hit me. Tears prick my eyes, and I try my best to hide them, hoping the shower helps. When I open them to look at Cy, our foreheads now resting on one another, I see the same things play across his face: trust that neither of us thought possible, adoration, lust, and something I'm not even close to being ready to admit to—love. Cy has come into my life again as fast as a storm rolls in, but as the storm eventually leaves, I'm holding on for dear life in hopes of never being left behind.
He takes the body wash in his hand and cleans me from my neck to my toes. Nothing is sexual about it this time. It's him caring for me. Showing me he's not just in this for sex. We each wash our hair then rinse off.
We step out of the shower and dry off. There's silence between us, but it's not awkward. Then I realize all my clothes are in a bag in his truck. I have nothing in his bedroom except what I had on before, so I hold the towel to myself, not sure what to do. Cy notices, of course. He leaves the room and comes back in with one of his t-shirts. I place it over my head, holding it to my nose to inhale the scent so unique to him. He pauses putting his shorts on to watch me. God, I'm such an idiot. I didn't even try to be subtle with that. I hide my face in my hands in embarrassment.
His fingers pull them away. "I like what you just did. Every time I bury my face in your hair or neck, I let your scent wrap around me. You have no idea what you do to me, Evie."
Looking up into his eyes, I say, "I have a pretty good one."