Why did I say that? Why did I tell her I still loved her? What the fuck was I thinking?
This isn't me. I'm not the guy who stands in a parking lot and tells someone that I love them. It was a shitty thing to do. I see that now. But I was desperate and only thinking with my heart. I needed her to hear me. She didn't. She made up her mind about me a long time ago, and no matter what I say, it won't do any good.
Eve gently rubs my back as I sit with my head in my hands in the passenger seat. "I'm sorry, Parker."
"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong. This is my fault. If only I would have called her that day before she came over, maybe I could have avoided all of this."
"I know what you said, but I have to ask, did you cheat on her?"
My head snaps up. "No, absolutely not."
"Then why was she adamant you did?"
"It's not my story to tell."
"Whatever happened, if you love her, you need to talk to her."
"I've tried to tell her what really happened repeatedly, but she won't let me. It was all a misunderstanding. I don't know what else to do."
"Does Brenda know how you feel about Astoria?"
"Yes, why?"
"I figured she'd be upset."
That causes me to smile. "I've told you before, Eve. There is nothing between B and me. You can ask her, and she'll tell you the same."
"You two are just so close. I figured at some point you'd have dated."
"Nope. She's my best friend—like you and Cy. I don't have feelings for either of you."
She chuckles. "I don't know how. Cy is super sexy."
I playfully shove her shoulder, loving how she can help snap me out of this horrible mood. "Let's get the hell out of here."
She starts my SUV and gives me a wicked gleam. "You're letting me drive. You never let me drive your Rover."
"There's a reason for that. I've seen how you drive."
"Shut up! I'm an amazing driver." I laugh as Eve exits the parking lot.
Thank God she's with me. If not, I'm not sure what would have happened after Tora left. I probably would have followed her and begged her to listen. Not the worst idea I've ever had. Not the best either.
How am I going to get her to listen? She has her mind made up about what happened. I get it. I really do, but seeing her again has made me realize how much I miss her and how deeply my love runs for her.
Me blurting out that I love her was a desperate attempt to get her to stop yelling and let me explain, finally. Only it didn't work. Those tears were my undoing. I hate seeing women cry, but with Tora, it's as if I can feel her pain. Maybe it's not her pain I'm feeling but my own. She wasn't the only one who lost the love of their life that day. We'd always been on the same page as far as our relationship and feelings went. When she left, I wanted to hit something hard. I wanted to take my anger out on something or someone, but I couldn't. Blair needed me. She kept me moving, kept me from slipping into a rage or sinking into a deep depression. Sure, I was depressed, but it could have gotten much worse. I had to care for Blair. Doing so kept my mind on her and not the sheer hell I was living through without Tora.
* * *
"That bitch did what?" Cy bellows when we get home as Eve gives a play-by-play of what happened. Sure, she missed part of it since she was getting our coffee, but she got the gist.
"She's not a bitch, Cy. She was really upset. They both were. I wish she would have given you a chance to talk to her about it," Eve states to me.
"I told her I couldn't explain while we were in the parking lot," I mumble from the couch.
Cy stomps over and drops down beside me. "If you said you didn't cheat on her, then I believe you."
"I'm glad someone does." I rub the spot in the center of my chest, wishing like hell the pain would ease.
"Hey!" Eve yells from the kitchen. "You know I believe you.”
"Can we not talk about this anymore?" I plead. Every word only amplifies the pain.
Cy stands and moves to the kitchen counter. He grabs his keys then walks to the door.
"Where the hell are you going?" Eve asks.
"To Tori's house. Someone needs to get through to her."
Eve chases after him. "You can't show up there and force her to listen to you, especially since you don’t know the whole story. You also don't have the most calming presence. You're going to go over there and scare the fuck out of her. Sit your ass down."
"What am I supposed to do? I can't watch him like this. He's a happy guy and this bitch is making him miserable."
"You both know I'm sitting here, right?" I inquire. "Like in the same room, listening to everything you say."
"Hush," Eve tells me and turns back to Cy. "This is Parker's battle, not yours. I get you want to fight for your friend and see him happy, but going to her house is not the way to do it."
Cy fists his keys and launches them across the room. They fly over the dining table, hitting the wall and clatter to the ground.
"Are you done?" Eve asks.
"You're lucky I love you," he grumbles.
* * *
The next day I run out to the grocery store since I'm running low on, well, everything. I have mixed feelings as to whether or not I want to see Tora again. On the one hand, I love having her so close. The sprinkle of freckles across her nose seem more pronounced than before. Maybe they aren’t, and I just don't remember her like I thought I did. In any case, they are about the sexiest thing I've ever seen. I remember how I used to kiss them softly.
I round the corner into the bread aisle and there she is. Immediately, I stop. My breath is taken away by her denim shorts, which land just below her ass, showing off her sexy as hell legs. She's filled out a little since we broke up and in the best way. She's curvier now. Still slender but her breasts are bigger. They are showcased nicely in her pale yellow tank top. Her hips have a gorgeous flare. I didn't notice it yesterday. I was fixated on talking to her and clearing up the misunderstanding. But now…now I notice all of her. Fuck, she's stunning.
"Excuse me," someone says from behind me. Tora's head turns in my direction and our eyes lock. She doesn't spare me a second glance before she's back to talking to the person beside her, as the woman whose way I'm blocking shoulders past me.
Hold on. Is that Finn Bradley Tora's talking to? Motherfucker, it is.
Finn was friends with Cy and me in high school. He was part of our broad circle of friends. While Cy was trying to get his shit together, and realize he was in love with Eve, Finn went on a date with her. It ended with her picking Cy, obviously. Finn treated Eve well when they went out. He’s a good guy, or he was until I saw him talking to Tora.
I snap out of my haze and walk until I'm standing beside her. She glances over at me and takes a step to her right to put some distance between us.
"Finn," I greet, anger lacing my tone. I can't help it. He's talking to my girl. She may not think she's mine any longer, but she is and always has been. "I see you've met Tora."
His brown hair is combed back; his face cleanly shaven. Any other time I’d have greeted him kindly and asked how he was. Not today. He needs to get the fuck away from Tora.
He cocks his head to the side. "I met Astoria," he replies, nodding toward her.
"We're going out tonight," she adds.
I swing my head in her direction and blaze her with a glare. "The fuck you are."
"You have no place to say who I will or will not date, Parker."
Somehow, I refrain from commenting back and instead focus on Finn. "Got a thing for the bread aisle, Bradley?" He looks perplexed. "Last I remember, this is where you met Eve. Can't stay away from our women, can ya?" He first talked to Eve in this very spot and asked her out. What the fuck is it about this grocery store?
The dark green shirt he's wearing is tucked into a pair of khaki shorts. We all always dressed the same: Cy, Finn, me, and others in our group. Always on the preppy side. Right now, though, his neatness is getting on my last nerve. Probably because I'm a mess. I look down at myself and realize I'm wearing a pair of black, mesh basketball shorts and a grey t-shirt. So sexy. I hope I put deodorant on before I left the house. Tora must be doing all she can to hold herself back from jumping me right next to the whole wheat bagels.
Finn pushes his hands into his pockets and rocks back on his heels. Tora doesn't miss a beat. "I'm not your woman, Parker.” Fire blazes in her eyes. She steps forward toward Finn, but I grip her elbow to keep her by my side. She shakes me off. "You and me, we're not together and haven't been for four years. You have no claim on me. Now, if you don't mind, I have to make plans with Finn tonight."
"Oh, I mind, sweetheart."
"I'm not your sweetheart,” she all but growls.
Finn clears his throat. "I don't want to get in the middle of anything, but as the lady has said, she's not with you. She's free to date whomever she wants."
"You know what?" I start. "When Cy told me how you went out with Eve, I thought it was his fault for not telling her how he felt. That's why she went out with you. But now, I don't know. You see, I've told Tora I still love her. You wouldn't have known that before this conversation so I'm enlightening you." I take another step forward. "I've loved her for four years. We might have been apart, but I never stopped thinking about her. So you need to back the fuck off."
"Are you insane?" she yells. "You cheated on me, Parker! Never stopped thinking about me, my ass."
I turn back to her. "If you'd listen to me, you'd know the truth." She's about to say something else, but another person joins our little party in aisle ten.
"Parker, Finn," Jim greets. He's dressed in uniform. Must be on lunch. He's one of our local cops, who also happened to go to high school with Finn and me.
"How's it going, Jim?" I reply.
"Well," he says, rubbing the scruff on his chin. "I heard you a few aisles over. Came to remind you where you are and how half the town now knows your business."
"I don't care who knows. The only one who really needs to hear me is her.” I point to Tora.
Jim extends his hand. "I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting. I'm Jim. I went to school with these two. I don't remember you, however."
Tora hesitantly shakes his hand. "Astoria. I went to a private school. My family lives in Arrow Falls, though."
"Nice to meet you." He releases her hand and faces Finn and me again. "Can we quiet ourselves down and move on? I think a few of our senior citizens are afraid to buy English muffins for fear a fight will break out."
I cross my arms. "I'm fine, but I'm not leaving until he does." I nod toward Finn.
"We all heard your issues. You think Astoria is yours and she's going on a date with him. Seems to me you need to finish your shopping and head home."
I stiffen. "He's not good enough for her."
"Don't make me drag your ass out of here. It's the damn grocery store, Parker. Have some common sense. Leave these two alone. I know you well enough. You're not a fighter."
I grab a loaf of bread from the rack. I actually did need one. "Seems you don't know me at all." I focus on Tora, my eyes holding hers. "I always fight for what I want."