It had been a month since they had prayed to allow God’s will to prevail in the stables, even if it meant losing them. As Brady looked at the latest balance sheet, he felt a sense of peace in knowing that they had given it all over to God. The numbers still didn’t look good, but he thought they were making progress, with one month to go before the big show.
In addition to the help he was getting with the books and the landscaping, some of the parents were pitching in with costumes along with Maddie’s senior sewing group, and others were seeking out sponsorships and donations for the stables. No, it didn’t cover the income they needed, but it gave them the other things they did need to make the fundraiser a success.
But at this point, they still desperately needed cash.
Despite Josie’s objections, he’d refused to draw a paycheck this month. He figured he had enough in savings that he could go six months without a salary if he had to.
Josie walked into his office, and he smiled.
“Are those our latest financial reports?” she asked.
It was starting to get frustrating how much he loved that smile. Sometimes he forgot how deep the divide was between them. She’d clearly just come from spending the week in Denver and, from the way she was dressed, directly from the office. Today, she wore a pretty floral dress that made her look like she was headed to a garden party instead of the stables. A lump formed in his throat as he remembered the young girl who just wanted to be pretty, and now here was this amazingly beautiful woman standing before him.
Kayla came bounding into the office. “Miss Josie. You’re back.”
Kayla threw her arms around Josie, and Josie gave his daughter a big hug. It wasn’t just Josie’s outward appearance that made her so beautiful, but it was also her incredible giving heart.
“Yes,” Josie said. “I was able to get off work a little early, and I was hoping to get to see today’s trick practice. Are you still doing those ab exercises that I showed you?”
Though Brady could have told Josie that he had never seen his daughter so enthusiastic about exercising, it was far more rewarding to see Josie smile at Kayla’s enthusiastic nod.
“Yes. I’ve been getting together with some of my teammates, and we do them while bingeing on our favorite show.”
Josie gave Kayla another squeeze. “That’s fantastic. What a great way to multitask.”
The way his daughter lit up at Josie’s encouragement warmed Brady’s heart. He’d always said that he wanted a woman who loved his daughter as much as he did. He thought it impossible, but watching Kayla and Josie together gave him hope. If only he could figure out how to know how to be the man Josie deserved.
His daughter chatted with Josie for a few more minutes, and it was all he could do not to stare at them both in awe and pride. He knew that Josie’s job required she work well with children, but her special touch with Kayla was more than just “work.” Josie simply had a gift for making people feel like they belonged.
Two girls who rode trick with Kayla, Raine and Elizabeth, entered the office. “Our costumes came in, and they’re terrible. Your mom says we’re stuck with them, but they’re absolutely hideous.”
The tragic wail from Raine rang with high teenager drama, and Brady had to hide a smile. From the look on Josie’s face, she was doing the same.
“I’m sure we can salvage them,” Josie said. “If not, there’s a dance-supply store in Denver that I’ve used for some of our rec-center programs. I can talk to the owner and see if she’s willing to do anything for us.”
The girls squealed gleefully, but Josie held up a hand. “I just said I’d talk to her. Maddie is in charge of the costumes, so whatever I work out, we still have to get Maddie’s approval.”
Kayla groaned. “Which means we’ll be stuck with the ugly costumes forever. If it were up to my mom, we would never have anything cute. She’s no fun.”
The other girls groaned along with her, then Kayla looked over at Josie. “Why can’t she be fun like you?”
Josie shook her head. “Don’t say things like that. She’s your mom, and she’s a great mom. I get to be fun because I’m not your parent, but trust me, I’m sure I would be just as ‘no fun’ as all of your moms if I were your parent.”
Once again, Brady was impressed with how deftly Josie handled the situation. All the girls on the team were bonding with her and had developed a deep level of admiration for her. He could see now why Josie had spoken so passionately about making a difference in children’s lives. She truly had a knack for this work, and if she gained the trust of the kids in the rec program as well as she had with these girls, he could see where she was a valuable asset to that program.
And just as quickly as they had had their moment, the girls started giggling about an actor they liked doing something on social media, then they ran off, pulling out their phones to watch whatever video they’d been talking about.
“Kids,” Brady said, laughing. Then, as he heard more giggles down the hall, he said, “Wait. I don’t think I’ve seen that video. I need to call them back to make sure it’s appropriate.”
Josie laughed. “I have seen that one more times than I care to count. But move over, and I’ll show you.”
She came behind his computer and, with a few quick strokes, had the video pulled up. He should have been paying more attention to the video, but all he could think about was how good she smelled, like sunshine and hay, with something a little sweet thrown in.
Absolutely delightful.
Josie started laughing, and he realized that he’d missed most of the video. So much for trying to be a good father and monitor what his daughter was consuming on social media. But he trusted Josie, and when he finally dragged his attention to the computer screen as he should have been doing, he had to admit, this guy all the kids were laughing about was pretty funny.
“Thank you for sharing with me,” he said. “Parenting seems so much harder these days than when we were young because we didn’t have all of these other things to worry about. Some days I don’t know if I’m sinking or swimming.”
Josie gave him a warm smile as she squeezed his shoulders gently. “You’re doing a wonderful job. Kayla is so blessed to have a father like you.”
And just as quickly as that moment began, Josie moved away, taking her warmth and making him miss her, even though she was still standing right there.
“Now that we have a moment of peace,” Josie said, “I found some of the old rosters from the early days of the stables. I was talking to Abigail and Laura, and we thought we could reach out to some of the alumni for their support.”
Brady stared at her. “Laura is helping?”
Josie nodded. “Yes. After the first couple of awkward family video chats, Laura and I have been talking a lot more. I told her how much healing I have been finding as I’ve been working with you and Abigail, as well as the rest of the community, to save the stables. We’ve come to a place of forgiveness over the past, and I truly believe that we are finding a new level of unity as a family.”
Her eyes got a little misty as her shoulders rose and fell like she was taking a deep breath. “I didn’t think any of this was possible, and as angry as I was at my father for everything, and I thought that leaving me the stables was the worst possible thing he could have done to me, I’m now starting to realize what a gift it was. I may not have found reconciliation with him, but I have my cousins, my mother’s family and this community as a result.”
Then, as she always did when she got emotional, she squared her shoulders and pulled a paper out of her bag.
“Laura is tracking down our old members and creating an alumni directory. I’ve done a lot of grant writing for my job, so I have Abigail researching grants and the information we need to obtain them. Obviously, the grant is a longer-term strategy, but we said we’d explore all avenues, and this is one.”
If that wasn’t enough to make him completely fall for her, Brady wasn’t sure anything else would have done the job. Josie was the whole package. Beautiful, tenderhearted, smart and willing to learn and grow. What more could he ask for?
But he’d hurt her, and he still couldn’t see how he could deserve someone as wonderful as her.
“This all sounds great,” Brady said. “We’re a good team. I know how to handle the general operations of a stable, but what you’re doing is way beyond my skill set. Together, we stand a real chance of saving the stables.”
As he saw the light shining in her eyes, he could feel the hope coming from her. God had been doing great work in them all, and he was grateful for it.
After Josie’s meeting with Brady, she felt a lot more optimistic than she had about everything in a while. Just being in his presence was often enough to raise her spirits. It was almost like when they were teenagers, when no matter what mood she’d been in, Brady always made her feel a little bit better. She paused at the entrance to the sewing room, where Maddie was working on one of the costumes.
“Hey, Maddie,” Josie said. “How’s everything going?”
Maddie didn’t turn around, so Josie came into the room and around the side of the table. It was obvious her friend had been crying.
“Is everything okay?”
Josie moved to sit next to Maddie, but Maddie waved her off. “Please. Just go. I need to deal with this on my own.”
Taking a deep breath, Josie examined Maddie’s face, red and puffy, and from the hard-set look to her eyes, it was clear she just wanted to be alone.
“Okay,” Josie said. “But if you do feel like talking, or if I could help in any way, please let me know. I’m here for you.”
She squeezed Maddie’s shoulder, but Maddie shrugged her off, so Josie left the room. She got a few feet from the door when she spied Kayla.
“Josie.” Kayla’s bright smile filled her face as she ran to Josie and gave her another hug. That was the rewarding thing about working with children—that they were all so free to show their affection once it had been earned.
“Did you girls finish watching your videos?”
Kayla’s face lit up. “Yes. And we have the best idea for our costumes.”
“Great. You should tell your mom and see what she thinks.”
Instead of looking happy that Josie was supportive, Kayla’s face fell. “I don’t think so. She’s in a really bad mood. We were hoping to tell you, and you would approve it.”
Josie sighed. If Kayla had just gone in to talk to Maddie, given Maddie’s upset appearance, she could see where Kayla might be hesitant to share her costume idea. Maybe Maddie had a bad day at work or something. But with Maddie, it was best not to push until she was ready.
“We’re not going to go behind your mom’s back,” Josie said. “Number one, she is in charge of costumes. Number two, she’s your mom, and I don’t want you to think that you can’t talk to her. Maybe now isn’t the best time, but why don’t you tell me what your idea is, and I’ll help you prepare a presentation for her?”
The smile filling Kayla’s face warmed Josie’s heart. She’d had similar conversations with many children in her programs over the years, and it was always so gratifying to see how Josie’s work with them ended up bringing parent and child closer together. Not that there was anything wrong with Maddie and Kayla’s relationship, because aside from the usual teenage mother-daughter squabbles, they seemed to get along well.
“That would be great,” Kayla said. “I really want her to take this seriously because fashion and design is my passion. I love horses and everything, but when I grow up, I am going to be a fashion designer in New York City.”
That was the other thing she loved about working with kids—seeing the possibilities and potential of all the wonderful things they could do with their lives. Growing up, Josie had had all kinds of dreams, but only Brady and Abigail had encouraged her. As she saw Kayla’s happiness as she described what she wanted to do, Josie’s heart warmed with the knowledge that Kayla had two parents who would support her in this journey.
When Kayla was finished, Josie gave her an encouraging hug. “That all sounds wonderful. Have you told your mom about this? You should be helping her more with the costumes. It would be a great skill you could put on your résumé.”
Kayla groaned and rolled her eyes. “I just get in the way, and she snaps at me about it. That’s why I want to go away to New York City. I won’t have her breathing down my neck all the time.”
Though Josie wanted to laugh because she heard the same thing from so many teenagers, she nodded understandingly as she followed Kayla down the hall. “I know it feels that way, but your mom loves you. I wish I’d had a mom who cared about me like she does when I was growing up.”
“Your mom died, didn’t she?” Kayla asked.
Josie nodded. “Yes. She died giving birth to me, so I never knew her. Until recently, I didn’t even know her family.” She smiled as she thought about the text she had just received from her uncle Dean.
Kayla gave her a sympathetic look. “That’s really sad. I guess I never thought of it that way, but I am grateful to have a mom. I just wish she’d let me do more stuff. It’s so unfair.”
Josie gave Kayla another squeeze. “I know it feels that way sometimes, but just remember that your mom loves you and has your best interests at heart.”
As they rounded the corner toward the arena, a group of girls waved over Kayla.
“Check out this video of a new trick. We’re trying to figure out if any of us can pull it off.”
Kayla turned to give Josie another smile. “Thanks for talking to me. I’m going to go check out that new trick.”
As Kayla scampered off, Josie said a quick prayer that her words had done some good and that Kayla would realize just how much her mom loved her. It was hard for a teenager to understand a mother’s love, but it was obvious to Josie.
She watched as the girls waved over their instructor to show him the video. Their enthusiasm reminded her of when she was that age and how she and her friends got excited over the latest tricks. They might not have had the same level of social media then, but they were still looking things up on the internet, finding new tricks and huddling together over the ancient office computer.
When she turned to go back toward the office, Brady stood there, leaning against the doorway leading to the paddock and barn where the horses were kept.
“You were wonderful with Kayla just now,” he said, a tender look in his eyes.
Josie shrugged. “It’s normal teenager stuff. She just needs to know how much the people around her care about her.”
The look Brady gave her made her want to melt all the way down to her toes. It was hard to believe he could still have that effect on her after everything they’d been through. In times like these, she was tempted to explore these feelings, but it was so hard to learn to trust again after he’d betrayed her.
“I was going to check the horses’ water,” he said. “Do you feel like taking a walk with me?”
She should say no, given that she was feeling all fluttery inside already. But how was she supposed to resist that charming smile?
“Sure,” she said. “I’ve been sitting most of the day, so it’ll be nice to stretch my legs.”
She’d learned her lesson from her high-heel misadventure, so even though she wasn’t going to let go of her need to wear pretty clothes, she’d found several more practical shoes that still looked cute with what she wore. Today she had on a sweet pair of tennis shoes that matched her dress perfectly.
As they walked, Josie could feel the stress of the day washing off her. It wasn’t that she had a particularly difficult day, but it still felt soothing to be walking in the fresh air with Brady. Years ago, she thought that moments like these would be everyday occurrences with him. Having gone so long without, she was going to take the time to breathe in appreciation and send a silent prayer of thanks to God for this moment.
After they’d been walking for a few minutes, Brady said, “I know you brush off what you do as being something you’ve been trained for, and all of this is just normal teen stuff like with Kayla. But I hope you know that you have a very special gift.”
Part of her wanted to shrug it off, but the sincere look on Brady’s face made her want to acknowledge it.
“Thank you,” she said. “Growing up, I felt so lost and alone, so my goal has always been to help others not feel the same.”
Brady reached for her hand, and she let him take it. He stopped, squeezing her hand, then pulled her closer to him. It wasn’t a full embrace, but close enough. “You’re doing a great job. Things with Kayla weren’t bad before you came, but I still see a positive change in her, and I know it’s because you’re part of her life.”
The compliment warmed her deeper than she felt most compliments from parents who appreciated her work with their children. As much as she hated to admit it, her feelings stemmed a lot from how she felt about Brady and wanting to give his child special care. Kayla was a good kid with loving, supportive parents, and she was easy to love.
“Don’t sell yourself short,” Josie told Brady. “You’ve done a wonderful job with her.”
Brady brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. “That means a lot, coming from you.”
Though it was just a simple brush of his lips against her fingers, it sent ripples of energy through her body. She wasn’t supposed to be feeling things for him again. Despite all the times she reminded herself of this, when she looked over at him and saw the love in his eyes, she wanted to wrap her arms around him and kiss him with all the emotion that had been building up in her.
“Brady...”
She didn’t know what she was trying to say, or even what she wanted to say, but he knew. He let go of her hand and stepped away. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I can’t help myself. The feelings I had for you that I thought I had let go keep rushing back, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
If only her heart didn’t remember the pain of having him cheat on her. It seemed silly to keep going back to that thought, especially since they had both changed over the years. But as Josie was still learning to exercise her forgiveness muscle, it seemed easier to forgive someone who had died than to be standing next to someone who could potentially hurt her again.
Her throat tightened as she came to this realization. Somewhere, in all of this, she was starting to forgive her father.
The Bible told her that she needed to forgive seventy times seven, and Brady had only done the one thing wrong.
Josie took a deep breath. “I have the same struggle,” she admitted.
“I’m new at this forgiveness thing, and I want you to know that I am genuinely trying to forgive you. It shouldn’t be that hard, and I hope that with the Lord’s help, we can find a way past this. God brought us back together for a reason.”
She thought about how she had made them see that saving the stables might not be God’s plan, and part of their faith in God had to be about trusting Him with whatever outcome happened. Maybe it was time to give this situation to God as well.
“I keep dismissing our romantic feelings because of our past,” Josie said. “But I think it’s time for me to trust God with this as well. I don’t know what that looks like, except to say that I’m willing to trust Him and be open to whatever happens.”
Brady nodded slowly. “I want to trust in God, too. But the truth is, I’m not sure I trust myself. I still don’t know why I cheated on you, and it’s been keeping me up at night. If I don’t understand why I did it to begin with, how can I promise you I won’t do it again? I was drunk, and while that doesn’t excuse it, it makes me wonder how I could have made such a terrible mistake.”
He’d told her this before, but this time, as she listened to his words, something jumped out at her. “Do you still drink?”
A surprised look crossed Brady’s face. “No, of course not. I learned my lesson from that one mistake. It was bad enough, waking up with my head pounding. But after I saw those pictures of me with Maddie, and all the things people were saying, I understood why we weren’t supposed to drink. It turned me into a person I didn’t like or recognize.”
Funny how an openness to God made that one detail come out. “Would you have made that decision had you not been drinking?”
Again, Brady looked taken aback. “No. That’s the whole reason my actions that night surprised me. Even that next morning, I didn’t understand how I could have done what I did.”
She thought about what she had learned about forgiveness, and she said a quick prayer, then asked, “And have you talked to God about it? Did you ask Him for the forgiveness of your sins?”
Brady nodded forcefully. “Yes. I spent hours on my knees, telling God how sorry I was because I understood my failing, and I thanked Him for choosing to bless me with a wonderful daughter despite my mistake.”
A strange peace settled over Josie. “I—I believe you,” she said slowly. “Maybe I don’t quite understand the frame of mind you were in or why you made that particular decision, but I do believe that had you not been drinking that night, you would not have cheated on me. Since you haven’t drunk since then, I trust you won’t do it again.”
The relief on his face was more freeing to her than she would have expected. But as she took a few deep breaths, silently asking God what all of this meant, she felt even more peace.
“If you say you asked God for forgiveness, then based on what we know about God and forgiveness, we know that He has forgiven you. So if God has forgiven you, and we know you aren’t going to do it again, then I think it’s time I forgave you, and you forgave yourself.”
Brady reached forward and pulled her into a deep hug. “Thank you,” he said. “You didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, but now, I believe it with all my heart.”
He held her tight against him, and for the first time since being back, Josie allowed herself to settle into his embrace and feel the full force of his love for her. She had been so afraid of being hurt again that she hadn’t seen a way to let herself love again, either.
And now it was time.
When Brady finally let her go, he looked at her and smiled in that way that always made her knees go weak.
“So what now?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Josie said. “I guess we start over, but I’m not sure how. We still have Maddie and Kayla to think about. I don’t want to rush into anything, and I think we need to take things slow so that whatever happens between us, Kayla doesn’t suffer.”
Brady pulled her into his arms again. “That is the best answer anyone could have given. The times I’ve tried dating never worked out because people didn’t understand my commitment to Kayla.”
“I understand that commitment.” Josie looked up and smiled. “It’s why I let you go in the first place.”
“I know,” he said. “And I love you for that. I’m excited to see what this new chapter holds for us.”
He bent and kissed her. His lips were soft and gentle. Exploring but not pushing. Different and new. It truly was a kiss that said they were beginning again.