I left Cain to his sandwich. For a moment I'd considered talking to him about what Sariel had told me, but I knew he wouldn't open up to me. Maybe, if we survived the confrontation with Dis Pater and then the small matter of the visit from the Senate, I could force him to be honest with me. Maybe then I could help him find a way to undo some of what he had done. I wondered if he changed his life would his soul repair itself over time? I tried to imagine Cain as some kind of missionary, spending his time doing good deeds and preaching peace. My imagination stalled at the impossibility of the idea, and I sighed. There had to be a way.
I was on the stairs when I heard it. The sound of Corvus laughing was such a familiar sound and yet one that I hadn't heard from him since he'd returned. Not like this at least. It was a proper laugh, genuine and carefree and my heart ached. I wondered who had managed to win such a rare and wonderful sound and followed it until I was standing at the door of the apartment.
He'd heard me coming of course as the door had been open, and as I looked in Corvus' eyes met mine, cool and appraising. Kai was with him.
“Jéhenne,” Kai said, jumping up, his smile broad. “Come and sit with us.”
“Oh, I'm sure Jéhenne has far more important calls on her time than us, Kai.” Corvus kept his gaze on mine, his tone bitter, and I felt a stab of resentment. It was true I hadn't exactly sought him out at every opportunity, but that was because he did; and every encounter tended to end badly. It was wearing on my nerves and my heart. But everything I was doing I was doing for him. He may not know or appreciate that, but it didn't change the fact. I forced a smile.
“True enough, and I wouldn't want to interrupt anything,” I said, my tone harsher than I had intended as I turned and retraced my steps. I heard Kai hurrying down the stairs behind me, and he caught hold of my shoulder.
“Don't go, Jéhenne.”
I yanked myself out from his grasp. “Go back to him, Kai. At least there's someone he likes to be with,” I snapped, knowing I was being unfair but too upset to hide my feelings. I was jealous as hell.
“He wants you to come,” he hissed at me, and I laughed, the sound quite obviously incredulous.
“Yeah, Kai, he made that perfectly clear.”
“Jéhenne!” I heard him call after me, but I ignored him. I wasn't about to sit there knowing I was interrupting whatever they'd been laughing about while Corvus made me feel like a fool. I was too tired of pretending I was in control and everything was alright. Besides, I'd still not heard from Hekatê, and I was getting seriously anxious. Corvus was right. I had more important calls on my time. I'd do well not to forget it.
I went to the cage room. There was plenty of space, and I was unlikely to be interrupted in here. The amount of wards around the place because of the proximity of the gateway made it an uncomfortable place to be for any length of time.
I tried to calm myself, putting aside my stupid emotions and finding comfort in routine as I cast my circle, inviting the four elements to me as the candle wicks spluttered to life. I greeted them in turn, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling as the magic rose around me. I let it centre me, let everything else fall away in the face of the elements and invoked Hekatê, inviting her to join me within the circle.
I half expected to be met with stony silence as I had last time, but instead I was plunged into the heart of a raging storm. The shock of it stunned me for a moment, and I fell to my knees, covering my head as lightning ripped into the circle, a fierce, icy wind shrieking around me. The force of magic within the circle had exploded and my skin burned with it. I heard an agonised scream in the depths of the storm and squinted into the maelstrom as I shouted.
“Hekatê!”
I forced myself to stare into the swirling tempest and felt a chill of horror as I realised the icy wind was nothing of the sort. The souls of the dead rushed past me, mouths wide with horror, circling and screeching in the chaos of the storm. I touched the key that burned within me, and they fell back instantly, keeping their distance as terror pushed them away though they still swirled in constant motion, the storm ripping them into a frenzied and macabre kind of dance.
“Hekatê!” I screamed again, frustrated by my inability to move past the protection of the circle. In the distance of the storm I saw her and she reached out to me. “Here!” I shouted, and then took a breath as I saw the malevolent, Stygian shadow looming behind her, growing taller and wider and darker and darker until she was almost consumed in the depths of the blackness. She scrambled to her feet and rushed towards me, stumbling and tripping as the devouring darkness moved forwards, threatening to overwhelm her. Suddenly the circle wavered, and I glanced around to see the blurred image of Corvus standing outside of it.
“Stand back!” I yelled, frantic in case he should destroy the circle in some misguided bid to help me. “Stay away!” I saw Kai rush to stand beside him, pulling him back, and I sighed with relief, though it only lasted a moment as the bleak, mountainous shape began to engulf the edges of my supposedly safe space.
“Run!” I screamed, holding out my hands to Hekatê and standing on the very edge of the circle, reaching as far as I dared. I felt the touch of her chilled fingers and grabbed at her, pulling her through. The obsidian shadow began to descend on us, and I heard the fury in the depths of it as Dis Pater began to reach forwards. With as much calm as I could muster I shouted into the winds, dismissing the elements and dismantling the circle. There was a howl of rage, and with an ear-shattering blast the circle unravelled and drew the darkness away with it.
Hekatê lay beside me, the two of us trembling and gasping.
“What the fuck!” I managed, scrambling to my knees and looking Hekatê over. I had never seen her in any way other than the immaculate image of a goddess, all white robes and perfection. Now she looked like a woman who had survived. Her robes were filthy and torn, her skin burned and covered in blood. “What happened?” I demanded, checking her over and to my relief finding nothing that couldn't be mended.
“I told you our time was running out, child,” she said, her voice rough.
I looked up as Cain came thundering in. “Help me,” I said, thankful for the fact my brother never wasted his breath on stupid questions. He just cast a cool eye over me, and once he saw I was in one piece knelt without a word and picked up Hekatê, who groaned as he lifted her. I went to follow them when Corvus stopped me, standing in my path.
“What is going on?” he asked, his voice furious. “What was that ...” He gestured towards where the darkness had disappeared as the circle fell away.
I shook my head and pushed past him. “I don't have time for this.”
He held onto me, his grasp on my arm firm, his eyes on mine. “It wanted you. It wanted to take you, to punish you. To own you.” His words were all sharp edges and anger, and I took a breath, shocked. Those blue eyes were intent on me, waiting for my response, and I knew I wouldn't be able to fob him off with some glib answer.
“Yes,” I said. “All of that.”
He was silent, watching me and then his grip on my arm loosened. “You're trembling.” For the first time I believed I saw concern in his eyes and I nodded. “You're afraid of - it. Of ... him.”
“Yes,” I said. “I'm very afraid.”
“Why?” His eyes searched mine as though he might find the answer there without me giving it to him. “Why are you so afraid? Why does he want you so badly? “
I made a choking sound, half shock, half laughter, and he frowned. I shook my head sadly and then reached up on tip-toes, brushing my lips against his. I closed my eyes, savouring the touch of his mouth for the bare second I tasted it. “You know why,” I whispered. I turned away and walked out, leaving him alone and hurrying after Cain.
I met Lucas in the corridor. “Was that ...?” he began, gesturing towards where Cain had obviously just passed, his expression one of astonishment. I nodded and cut him off before he could say anymore.
“Get everyone together at Hekatê's temple.”
“But that's not for another couple of hours,” he protested.
“I know but she's in a bad way, Lucas. She needs all the help she can get to heal.” To my relief he nodded and didn't question me further.
“You're the boss.”
I gave him a grateful smile and hurried on to find Cain and Hekatê.
I found them in my room. Hekatê was huddled on my bed, looking less like a goddess than I would have thought possible. She looked up and gave me a bleak smile. I sat down beside her and took her hand.
“It looks like I owe you my thanks,” she said.
“Your life, more like,” Cain muttered as he attended to a nasty burn on her arm.
To my surprise Hekatê chuckled. “I've always liked him,” she said, gesturing at Cain. “He's provided me with a lot of entertainment over the years.” Cain scowled at her but she ignored him and carried on. “And I do so appreciate directness. You have no idea how much everyone around you talks in riddles when you’re a goddess.”
I snorted. “Preaching to the choir here.”
She nodded, her expression weary. “Yes, I imagine so.”
“So what happened?”
“I'm out of time,” she said with a shrug. “He forced me to choose a side and I did.” She smiled at me and the icy glint of the goddess I had come to fear was visible again. “He wasn't terribly impressed by my choice.”
“No shit.” I laughed, thinking that was likely the understatement of the century. I sobered quickly as a thought occurred to me. “How long can you stay here?” I asked her, wondering if she was going to be strong enough to face Dis Pater.
“Not long,” she replied, holding my eyes. “If your vampires do their work I will heal, but the longer I stay in your world, the weaker I become.” I nodded and looked over at Cain who was watching me.
“Time's up, Jéhenne,” he said, and I felt a chill at his words for so many reasons, but I nodded, anticipation gathering in my blood.
“Yes,” I replied, my voice fierce as my heart thudded with dread and apprehension ... and no little satisfaction. “Time's up ... for him.”
***
My blood buzzed with the nearness of my kin. The awareness of them was like an electrical pulse that glittered through me the closer they got. I had never realised Corvus' power grew with the more vampires he had close to him. It suddenly made sense why vampires always lived in groups. It wasn't just the physical need to be with their own kind, though that was certainly a large part of it. It was for power. Like charging a battery, they all fed off each other's energy making them far stronger together than they were apart.
It also made sense why he had sent the most powerful vampires away. Apart from Lucas the next in line were sent to the farthest corners of the country. The reason for this became eminently apparent as I was increasingly called on to break up fights.
The men were bad enough, and since they'd been nearby I felt like I was wading through a sea of testosterone as their constant pissing contests wore on my nerves. The women were undoubtedly the worst though. They fought a lot less, but when they did they really meant it.
In the hours after Hekatê had arrived I'd finally called the family together for the first time. There were thousands and thousands of vampires. They were doing their best to stay hidden and out of sight of the public, taking advantage of the heavily wooded nature of the countryside around us. But I could hardly send the most powerful - and most easily offended - vampires to skulk in the forest and as many as we could fit were in and around the Château itself. I was grateful for the maze of underground rooms and passages which honeycombed the grounds under the building.The cave system below us actually ran for miles, but I hadn't known about them before I became Master. Something Corvus had kept even from me. Vampires prized their own security over pretty much everything. Now all the rooms were full of our most powerful kin and from the moment they'd arrived I'd been refereeing.
“Jéhenne,” Lucas said as I slammed the study door open and cursed with enthusiasm. He used his most tolerant voice as I ignored him and stamped about the study in a fury. “Jéhenne!” he yelled, obviously realising that the gentle approach wasn't going to cut it this time. “Will you shut up for the love of the gods!”
I snapped my mouth closed and glared at him.
He took a breath, holding out a hand in a placatory gesture. “Jéhenne,” he repeated, his tone soothing, as though he was talking someone down off a ledge. Maybe he was. “You have to calm down.”
“I. Am. Calm,” I said through gritted teeth.
He raised an eyebrow and glanced at my clenched fists as sparks glittered to the floor.
“Okay,” he said, the word drawn out. “Just, take a breath will you.”
“How can I?” I snapped. “I don't have time. I have a million fucking things to do, and I'm spending all my time keeping the family from killing each other. Dis Pater and the Senate needn't bother. We'll all just rip each other apart if they hold on a couple more days.”
Lucas stepped forward and grasped me by the wrists and my instinct was to push him away, but the instant his skin touched mine I realised just how out of control I was.
It was like a cooling wave rushing over a volcano as the tension released. I gasped, my knees buckling as he caught me and held me in his arms.
“Take a breath, Jéhenne,” he said again.
I leaned my head against his chest and did as he said. I just breathed. I felt his hand at my hair, stroking the thick waves gently and for the first time in days I felt like I could actually draw a breath.
“Oh God,” I whispered.
“It's OK.”
I closed my eyes and accepted the fact that I was exhausted despite the constant power surging through me. I was too tired to keep control, and that made me a danger. I was a powder keg, ready to blow, and every single person around me was holding a match. Everyone but Lucas.
“Thank you.”
He chuckled. “You're welcome.” I looked up at him, and he smiled, but his voice was serious. “You have to keep a handle on your temper, Jéhenne,” he said. “The fights, the tension, they all come from you. The angrier and more impatient you get the more that transmits to the rest of us. If you lose control we all know it, especially now we are all together. It's that much harder for us to keep control ourselves if you don't.”
I looked at him in horror. “You mean to say this is my fault?”
He shrugged. “Not entirely but you're certainly not helping matters.”
“Shit.” I groaned. “I'm so sorry, Lucas.”
A wicked grin played around his mouth and his arms tightened around me, pulling me closer still. “I'm not,” he said, his voice low, eyes sparkling with mischief.
I blushed and forced myself out of the comfort of his arms. It was a lot harder to do than I liked.
A knock at the door saved me from further awkwardness. “Yes?”
Rodney's head appeared, and I could see from the anxiety in his expression that it wasn't just the vampires feeling the strain. At least I couldn't be entirely to blame for that.
“Cain wants to know if you're ready for him to start?”
I took a breath. There would be no going back after this.
“Yes,” I said, pushing away all my doubts and fears and thoughts of the myriad details that we might have overlooked, all the things that could go wrong. “Tell him to go ahead.”
Rodney nodded and shut the door behind him.
“Well then,” I said, striving for a light tone but hearing my voice shake. “This is it then. By this time tomorrow night ... we'll be at war with Dis Pater.”
Lucas reached out and took my hand, squeezing it hard. I didn't let go but clung to him gratefully.
“Jéhenne.”
I looked up, struck by the tone of his voice.
“What is it?”
He looked nervous and I began to worry. Please, God, nothing else.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Oh?” I held my breath, wondering why he was looking at me like that.
“I have to say it, Jéhenne. In case ... In case anything happens to me and ...”
I clutched at his hand wanting to shake my head and shout and reassure him that I would never let anyone hurt him. I couldn't. People would die. There was no escaping that fact.
Almost as fervently I wanted to stop him speaking. I really didn't want to hear what he was going to say, but that would be cowardly. I was many things, and a lot of them weren't good. But I wasn't a coward.
He'd stopped talking and was just looking at me. He reached out and put his hand to my face, his thumb stroking my cheek tenderly. “I love you, Jéhenne,” he said, his voice quiet. The words seemed to hang in the air between us. Words that he could never take back, that I could never pretend I hadn't heard. “I loved you before Corvus did.” His voice was defiant, but then his face softened. “In this lifetime at least,” he added with a crooked smile.
I took a breath. I'd realised of course that his feelings for me were deeper than perhaps they ought to be, but I hadn't imagined ... “I ... don't understand.”
He seemed to take a moment to gather his thoughts before he spoke again. “Do you remember the day you came to France? Your driver stopped in the middle of nowhere, car trouble.”
I nodded, feeling more and more perplexed. I remembered it clearly. Remembered my fear as the man pulled us off the road into the woods in the pitch dark of the night. The car had sounded fine to me. I'd got out, holding my phone and trying to find a signal as he made out like he was checking the engine. I'd been ready to run.
“How do you know that?”
“I was there.”
He shrugged at my quizzical expression. “You know I often walk in the woods at night. Especially if I'm uptight.” He paused. “I was curious. I could tell he was up to no good. As I got closer it was obvious. I knew he was going to hurt you.”
I stood staring at him with my mouth open, remembering vividly my shock and relief as the man had apologised profusely, looking shaken and said he was mistaken. There was no problem and he'd drive me to the address I'd given him straight away.
“You stopped him. You made him take me to Inés.”
He nodded, his fingers trailing over my jaw. “I knew right away you were special.” He laughed. “Though to be fair I had no idea how special.” His laughter subsided, his tone becoming serious. “You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, Jéhenne,” he whispered. “But you were human, and I knew better than to approach you. Your lives are so ... fragile - fleeting. But then he took you to Inés, and I realised you weren't human at all. I was so happy and relieved, but I knew how Inés felt about vampires, so I didn't dare go to the house, though I wanted to. I tried to see you,” he said, his voice angry now. “I waited for hours outside the cottage, but Inés hardly ever left you alone and you never left the house after dark. I watched you,” he admitted, shamefaced as I blushed.
I blinked, stunned, trying to take it in. It didn't make any sense. Lucas had hated me.
“And then there was the Council meeting,” he said, a bleak tone to his voice. “I thought I finally had a chance to speak to you, to tell you I'd been there, that I had protected you. I thought, maybe I'd be able to persuade you to give me a chance, despite everything your gran would have told you.” He stared at me. “And then Corvus saw you.” He closed his eyes, but I could feel the pain in his heart. He didn't hide it from me and the shock of it was overwhelming. “I knew then. I knew I didn't stand a chance. You were Jéhnina come back from the dead. You were the one he'd waited for all this time.”
“Lucas ...” I began, my throat thick and no idea of what I was going to say to him, but he pressed a finger to my lips.
“Let me finish,” he said, his eyes glittering. “Corvus knew. I couldn't hide my feelings from him when I saw you, and I knew he'd kill me if I tried to get close to you.” He cleared his throat and took a breath. “I couldn't live with it. With the strain of trying to hide my feelings, with the ... The pain of knowing you would never even look at me so ... So I went to Inés.”
“What?” My heart thudded uncomfortably and suddenly I knew where this was going. “You asked her to put a spell on you?”
He nodded. “I never told her it was you, Jéhenne. I just said I was attracted to someone it would be better if I avoided, and I needed to take the feeling away. I played it down, I ... I wasn't exactly truthful, and I didn't listen to her warning,” he admitted. “She told me it would reverse my feelings for you. That if I was attracted to you from now on all I would feel was aversion but ...” He looked away from me but I saw the shame in his eyes. “But I didn't tell her I was in love with you, and I never considered that love would turn to hate.”
I took a breath and let go of his hand. “You tried to kill me.”
He nodded, and I could see the misery in his eyes. “I'm so sorry, Jéhenne. You have no idea ...”
I walked away from him as I tried to make sense of it. I'd put a love spell on him to stop him from killing me. I remembered how adamant he'd been that it wasn't a spell but how he truly felt. I remembered how unhappy he'd been, how he'd begged me to let him stay with me. My eyes filled. “Oh, Lucas.” I turned back to him with no idea of what to say, seeing his own eyes over-bright in the light of the study.
He shrugged, and gave me that crooked smile again. “So now you know.”
“I ... I don't know what to say.”
He shook his head. “You don't need to say anything. I know you love Corvus. You always have, you always will. There is nothing any of us can do about that. I ... I have no illusions about you falling madly in love with me, Jéhenne. I just wanted you to know the truth. I love you. I would do anything for you and if that means pretending this conversation never happened then ...” His voice became thick, and he paused and took a breath. “Then it never happened. I'll never speak of it again, and you need never worry that I would take advantage or ... Or make an unwelcome move.” He walked towards me and slipped his hand in mine. “But ... But if Corvus never remembers, if you can't find your way forward with him or for any other reason …” He laughed, a bitter sound that seemed to echo through the room. “Jéhenne, what I'm trying to say is, I'm yours. You can take me or throw me away. Just say the word, and I'll come running. My pride is shattered where you are concerned and ... I'll take what I can get. Whatever that might be.”
He pulled me to him, and I let him. I didn't know what to say. Didn't even know if either of us would survive the next few hours. He held me, and I let him.