Define Missing

Oliver gulped. He’d never lost a parent before. He’d lost many homework assignments. And before improving his laundry skills, he’d lost several socks. But never a parent. Or any person at all.

“Do you think he’s missing missing?” Oliver asked. “Or just missing?”

“Define missing,” Teenie said. “He’s probably just run off.”

Bea nodded. “He gets restless. Parents these days don’t have nearly the freedom they used to.”

“He’s fine without supervision,” Teenie agreed. “Usually.”

“As long as he doesn’t park in a big parking lot,” said Bea.

“He loses his car a lot,” Teenie explained.

“But it’s not like he loses himself,” Bea specified.

Benny had hopped over from the sofa as soon as the coffin was revealed to be empty. “Psst.” He nudged Oliver, who picked him up in the top hat.

“Maybe their dad got wise,” whispered the rabbit. “Better to leave early than to get left at the altar. Believe me.”

“You mean you think he left left?” Oliver whispered back, scandalized. “But he wouldn’t . . . would he?”

“Anyway,” said Bea, too distracted to notice that her friend was conferring with a rabbit, “Dad always has his phone.”

“Actually, we have his phone, remember?” Teenie held up their father’s phone.

“Oh, right,” said Bea. “The gift for Daddy and Papa.”

Oliver was confused. “Your having his phone is a gift for them?”

“Yes, the gift of time away from technology,” said Teenie. “To make the day special.” She put the phone down on a table.

“Also, we’re making a wedding video,” said Bea. “That’s our real present.”

“That’s right,” said Teenie. “And Oliver, we need your help.”

Normally, Miguel shot all the family videos. But considering he was already doing the flowers and the still photography, the girls had volunteered—as long as they got to use Simon’s phone. (They swore they wouldn’t open any apps until after the wedding ceremony.)

Oliver had been the victim of several of Bea and Teenie’s previous videos.

He hoped this video would be less hazardous. In fact, he hoped he wouldn’t be involved in it at all.

“Maybe I should go look for Mr. Simon instead,” said Oliver.

Simon’s phone buzzed on the table.

“I think your dad has a text.” Oliver waited for the girls to pick it up. “It might be important.”

“Our dad never does anything important,” said Teenie. “He’s a writer.”

Teenie handed Oliver a stick with a single ear bud taped to it. “Here’s your boom pole. You’re running sound.”

“Teenie is the cinematographer,” Bea explained. “I’m doing the on-camera interviews.”

She pulled out her notebook. “Oliver, do you have anything to say to the groom and groom?”

Teenie turned the phone to face Oliver. Apparently, they were starting right away.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.” Bea made a checkmark in her notebook. “Now we just have to interview a hundred fifty more guests.”

“I don’t know what you’re congratulating them for,” Benny whispered into Oliver’s ear. “There isn’t going to be a wedding if the groom doesn’t show.”

“Let’s start with family members,” said Bea. This made sense, as only family members were around at the moment.

Surrounded by crates, Uncle Jeff was moving bottles behind the bar.

He shook his head as soon as he heard the word interview.

“I had a job interview once. Let’s just say it didn’t go well. Besides, there’s something I want you to help me out with.”

All the crates looked too heavy for the kids to lift, and the contents didn’t look safe for kids.

“Oh, not the bar. I just need you to pull my finger real quick.”

The twins were far too smart for such a trick, but Oliver reached out his hand and pulled Uncle Jeff’s finger.

The fart sound wouldn’t have been so loud if Oliver hadn’t had the microphone extended as well.

“You kids catch that on video?” Uncle Jeff laughed. “Hey, tell your dads the bar’s all set up. If they need anything, I’ll be right here.”

They found Simon’s sister on the back steps of the mansion, leaning against a snarling stone lion.

Aunt Margie was a favorite of the twins. She always brought them souvenirs from her travels, or “mystical journeys,” as she called them. And she was always careful to tell the girls which items had the most magic powers.

“Hello, Bea and Teenie! Have you seen your dad?” she asked.

“No,” said Bea quickly. “Can we interview you for our video?”

“Of course! I was just working on the wedding ceremony.”

She held up a notebook and a quill pen, just like the one Bea wanted. Bea made a mental note to ask her aunt for a pen as a gift for the Winter Solstice, which is how Aunt Margie celebrated Christmas.

Ordained in seven faiths, she was the obvious choice to officiate her brother’s wedding.

“Now, the first thing to know about Simon is that he’s a restless soul . . .”

Aunt Margie launched into a long discussion of their father’s character, starting with his star sign (Libra) and favorite animal (llama).

“He never sticks with anything for long. He once promised to travel with me around the world for a year, but didn’t last a week. So fickle! I’m surprised he’s stayed with Miguel all this time. And now they’re getting married? He’ll run off at the first—”

She noticed her nieces’ expressions. “Of course, he’s probably changed. I’m sure I missed something in his star chart.”

Teenie’s hands were getting tired from holding the camera. Oliver’s arm had fallen asleep from lifting the boom.

Bea did her best to get her aunt to wrap it up. “That’s nice, Aunt Margie. In five words or less, what would you like to wish the happy couple?”

With that their aunt put her hands together and bowed for the camera.

As they started off in search of their next interview subject, Miguel approached. He held what looked like a fence dotted with donuts.

Teenie trained the phone camera on him.

“If you see Dad, remind him that he was in charge of the donut wall,” said Miguel, waving the camera away. “It was his idea. I don’t even eat donuts!”

“We do!” They each stole a donut as he walked by. Even Benny stuck a paw out of the top hat and snatched one.

Luckily, the wall blocked Miguel’s view of their thievery.

As she nibbled on her donut (plain glazed), Bea wrote down what Miguel had said. So far, most of her notes were things Simon was supposed to do that he wasn’t doing.

“Dad really is dropping the ball,” she said.

“He’s not dropping the ball, he’s dropping the wedding,” Benny (maple bar) told Oliver (strawberry cruller).

Oliver was about to shush Benny when he heard a buzzing sound.

“I think your dad’s phone is buzzing,” he said.

“Uh-huh.” Teenie nodded. She made no move to look at it, or even touch it. She was still eating her donut (chocolate sprinkles).

“What if it’s him?” suggested Oliver. “What if he really is missing?”

“I think I liked you better when you were in your not-nervous phase,” said Bea. “You should try being not nervous again.”

The phone kept buzzing. Oliver kept trying not to be nervous about it.

“Oh, fine,” said Teenie. “We can look at the phone. Just to make you happy.”

She took the phone out of her pocket and glanced at the screen. Her glance turned into a stare.

“Dad’s going to Mexico!”

“Mexico?!” Benny exclaimed in alarm. Oliver could feel the rabbit’s feet scrambling around on his head, and then the hat being lifted. “I knew it!”

“What?” asked Oliver.

“Weddings—they’re all alike!” said the rabbit, jumping to the ground. “I should never have come!”

Before Oliver could ask Benny what he was talking about, he’d hopped out of sight.