I’m sitting on the edge of my bathroom tub; my leg is bouncing up and down, as are my insides. How could I be so stupid? Why did we have sex without protection? I check my watch again. One minute, and my life could change forever.
Trey and I started dating at the end of high school, and have been together for almost a year. He means everything to me, but I’m barely nineteen, how can I be a mom? On top of that, what is Trey going to say?
I know what he’s going to say: he’ll be happy. I can feel it. We’re meant to be together. I look back down at the white stick, as two bright pink lines appeared.
I’m pregnant.
I’m going to be a mom.
I’m going to pass out.
My chest begins to tighten as all my emotions hit me at once. However, I can’t forget that my parents are going to be home soon.
They weren’t always the most supportive parents. We’ve never got along much, but I think they’ll help me through this because they’re my family, right?
“Charity!” My mom’s voice bellows through the house. I instantly pick up the stick and throw it in the trash. I take a deep breath, ready to face the truth that’s my new reality, and head out to the kitchen.
“Hi, Mom,” I say softly, and I can feel my stomach do flips. I know that I just need to tell her and get it over with, before Dad comes home. I know telling her might be easier than telling him. At least, I think so.
“I don’t know why you don’t have those damn dishes done yet? How hard is it?” Mom began to slam dishes around the sink.
“I had class today Mom.” I say quietly.
“Oh, that’s right, the college girl had classes.” She cut me off, and mocks me. “We can’t disrupt your precious classes.” Mom bangs more items together.
“Mom, I’m pregnant.” I blurt it out. I quickly cover my mouth, hoping that I can hit the imaginary delete button, and take it away.
She stops and looks at me. “What did you say?”
I uncover my mouth, and tell her the one thing I didn’t want to. “I took a test a little while ago, and I’m pregnant.”
Mom’s quiet, not one word, or emotion comes from her. She turns away from me. She stares at the dishes in the sink. I’m not sure what to do. My mother isn’t one not to keep her opinion to herself.
“Charity, what have you done?” She hisses under her breath.
“Um,” I want to tell her that it’s going to be okay, but the truth was I have no clue.
“Go pack a bag, and get out.” Mom finally looks at me with a serious expression.
“What?” I stop breathing. I know that I didn’t hear her correctly. She wouldn’t say those words to me.
“Get out. I can barely afford to feed us now, and a child is something that I don’t want in this house.” Mom’s jaw is clenched tight.
“I have nowhere to go.” I plead with her, knowing that she isn’t kidding around.
“Well, I guess you should have thought about that, before you spread your legs. I suggest you do it, before your father gets home.” Mom goes to leave.
“You can’t do this. I’m your daughter.” I feel the hot tears roll down my face.
She stops and for a second I thought she’s going to change her mind. However, when she turns I know that look. Mom isn’t going to change her mind. “You have ten minutes to pack a bag and get out. You’re over the age of eighteen and I don’t have to take care of you anymore.”
When she left the kitchen, I almost collapse on the floor. She’s kicking me out, and it hits me; I had no one, and the tears flow faster down my face.
Wait, I have Trey. He has his apartment. Sure, he has a roommate, but it’ll be okay for now. Then we both could get jobs, and go to school. We’ll get our own apartment, everything will be fine.
I go to my room, and pack a bag. I make sure I have all my school books, personal items, and a few clothes. I knew that my dad would be home, and I wish I could say good bye to him. But, he never has been a dad.
“Mom,” I say gingerly. She’s sitting on the couch. Mom looks older. She has her hair in a tight bun, and changed into flannel pajamas.
“Just go.”
That’s it. Those words are the last words she’ll say to me. I pick up my purse, and leave the house that I grew up in.
We’ve never been a close family. I practically raised myself because they were always working or out. I adjust the weight on my shoulder, and head down the street. It’s still light out, and since I didn’t have a lot of cash, I’ll walk to Trey’s house.
It isn’t that far of a walk, and the fall air makes it pleasant. Strolling through the neighborhood brought some memories back to me. Of course, not all were pleasant, but some were. My first date and kiss, both of them were Trey. He had been in my life since I was young.
I make it to his building and walked up the stairs. I lightly knock on the door, and I hear his laugh from the other side. When he opens the door, his green eyes look back at me, with a bright smile.
“Hey, I didn’t think you were coming over tonight?” Trey lightly pecks my lips.
“I need to talk to you.” I say delicately.
“Of course come on in.” His large hands grasped mine, and he led me into the apartment. I follow him to his room.
It’s small, only fits a full size bed, and a dresser, but we can make it work, for now.
“I have an issue.” I’m nervous to tell him. I figure I should treat it like a Band-Aid, just rip off. In this case, just say the words.
“What is it baby?”
I take a deep breath and blurt it out. “I’m pregnant, and my parents have kicked me out.” There I said it.
Trey’s face goes from hard, to shock. “Do what?” He breathes out.
“I know it’s scary, but together we can make this work.” I reassure him.
He doesn’t say anything, only stares at me. I thought for a moment that he might pass out, like I had almost done.
“Is it mine?” Trey finally speaks.
“Of course it is.” It’s the first time I’ve raised my voice. “I’ve only been with you.” How dare he think I had been sleeping around?
“Baby, I’m in college, and I can’t be a dad.”
My heart drops. Not only have I been rejected by my family, the one person I thought I could count on, did the same thing.
“Trey, what are you saying?” I know in my heart, but I need to hear it from him.
“I can’t help you, baby.” He didn’t even sad, he almost seemed relieved. “It’ll be best that you leave.”
“I don’t have anywhere to go.” The tears pool in my eyes.
“You can’t stay here. I mean, this is my place.” He gave me a confused look. “You’re going to have to find somewhere else to go.” He stands and goes to the door. “Sorry.”
I’m not able to move my feet. He’s really kicking me out, He doesn’t care one bit. What am I going to do? Where am I going to go?
“Charity, I’m truly sorry, but you need to leave.” Trey says a little firmer this time, his eyes like stone.
I stand, and brush past him. I don’t know where my confidence came from, but I didn’t shed one tear, or say one word to him. Once I’m back out on the street, with the air circling around me, I need to figure out what to do?
I’m pregnant. My family threw me out, and now my boyfriend just did the same. I am officially alone.
I continue to walk down the street, not knowing where to go or what to do. Should I go to a shelter? Maybe spend the night at the bus depot? I keep walking until my legs hurt, and I’m near campus. I sit on a bench, and think of all my options.
Then it hits me. Brittani. My best friend. She has an apartment; she might be able to help me. I get up, renewed with hope that someone is still in my life.
I finally make it to her doorstep, and hesitate. I don’t think I can take another person shutting the door in my face. I take a deep breath, and knock.
“What up, chick?” Brittani’s bright smile eases my rapidly beating heart.
I open my mouth to say something, but a sob escapes. Brittani quickly wraps me in a hug, guiding me into the apartment. I sat on her couch, and let everything out through the tears. I did my best to explain it all, the whole time she rubs my back, listening. I put my head in my hands, and continue to let the tears to flow.
“Here,” Brittani’s soft voice, makes me look up. She hands me a box of tissues, and a glass of water.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper to her.
“Why the hell are you sorry? The one that should be sorry is that jerk ex-boyfriend of yours, and your parents, because they’re going to miss out on that baby’s life.” She drops down next to me.
“I don’t have anywhere to go.” I feel the blush on my cheeks. It’s nothing but pure embarrassment.
“Well, I have a plan.” She announces boldly.
I push my long black hair behind my ears. “What’s that?”
“You’re going to stay here. I could get you a job down at the diner, until you can’t work anymore. Then when the baby comes, we’ll work it out then.” She pats my hand.
This time the tears come for a different reason. I’m not alone. I can make it. Now, the question is, will my child ever have a daddy.