The playoffs have been crazy in every way possible; but, that didn’t stop Marc from calling Ethan every single night and asking about his day, and telling him good night. Ethan has grown so attached to Marc, it’s a little scary, but amazing to watch him light up when they talk.
Marc hasn’t asked me out since that last time I told him ‘no’. He hasn’t even sent me a gift, since the father-son luncheon. I hate to say I miss it, but I do. Maybe it’s the attention that I miss because it had been so long since anyone seemed to be interested in me. Of course, that’s a lot of my fault, because I keep my focus on Ethan, and his wellbeing.
“Mom, Marc hasn’t called yet?” I tuck my son into his bed, his sad voice fills the room.
“Well, the game went into overtime, it might be real late before he calls.” I explain.
“Okay,” his lips slightly pout.
“How about we call him tomorrow after practice, if he doesn’t call tonight?” I smile hoping that will ease his broken heart.
He nods, before rolling over, and settling into the bed. I wish Marc had called but I know that was a really intense game, and when it went into overtime, I knew that it wasn’t going to end anytime soon.
I rub my son’s back for a moment, before I get up, and go back into the living room. I pick up Ethan’s book’s and make sure he’s all ready for school in the morning, when my phone rings.
“Is he asleep?” Marc’s thick accent comes through the phone, before I even get out ‘hello’.
“Yes, he went down a little bit ago.” I inform him.
“Shit,” he hisses. “I was trying to rush the interviews, but they wouldn’t shut up. Is he mad?”
I smile because I can hear the sincerity in his voice. He truly cares about Ethan and his feelings. “I told him that we would call you in the morning.”
“We are leaving out at seven in the morning, be sure he calls me first thing.” Marc’s voice is stern.
“Marc, its okay if you miss a call every once in a while. Ethan will have to understand that you have a life too.” I explain.
Marc doesn’t say anything and for a moment I thought he had hung up. “I’m not going to fail him like his real dad did. Ethan means a lot to me.”
My jaw drops. Marc’s stern voice now sounds hurt. “Marc, I didn’t mean,”
“Just have him call me before he goes to school.”
I hear the click of the phone, and I knew that he hung up for sure this time. Great, now he’s pissed off.
I made sure that Ethan called Marc first thing in the morning. They talk about everything on the phone; school, hockey, it doesn’t matter the topic.
After I drop Ethan at Brittani’s I head off to work. The whole time on the train I thought about Marc. He’s really taken Ethan under his wing, especially since the night he called Marc his dad. I hated that I had to explain to him Marc wasn’t his dad. The heartbreak on his face made me feel like the worst mother in the world.
Now, Marc has indeed taken over the ‘father role’ in Ethan’s life. I shouldn’t stand in the way of it, but Marc isn’t mine and he could leave at any time. I don’t know how Ethan will take that if he did. That is something I don’t think I can stand for. I mean, hockey players get traded all the time. Of course, Marc has recently signed a long term contract, but that doesn’t always mean anything.
Walking into the office, I know that it’s going to be a long day. Sara had several cases coming up, and I need to finish up the motions and briefs for them. The moment I sit down, I begin to dive into the cases, and I barley look up the whole day. It isn’t until Sara physically shakes me, that I realize she’s talking to me.
“Sorry, what?” I ask confused.
“I asked if you had lunch.” Sara smiles at me.
I shake my head. I couldn’t tell her the truth that I can’t afford lunch this week because I need to catch up Ethan’s school payments. “Nah, I’m not hungry.” I shrug like it’s no big deal.
“Come on, I’ll buy. Besides you need a break.” Sara pulls on my arm and we head into the small kitchen. Rachel and her assistant, Betty, were off today, so we had the whole office to ourselves.
“What’s going on?” Sara hands me a sandwich.
“Nothing,” I’m not sure where she is going with the question, but I know that Lucas and Marc are friends, so I know not to talk about my feelings.
“Okay, how about this? What’s going on with Marc and you?”
I should have known. “Nothing.” I answer again.
“Yeah, I got that.” She giggles. “Why isn’t there anything going on between you two?”
I vaguely roll my eyes at her, and she continues to stare at me, waiting for an answer. I know that I’m going to have to say something, because Sara isn’t one just to give up when she wants to know something.
“I don’t know.” I sit my sandwich down, and shift uncomfortably in my chair.
“What is it that you don’t know?” She questions.
“I don’t think Marc knows what he is getting into dating me?” I finally say honestly.
“Oh, so he doesn’t know that you’re a sweet, kind, amazing mother, terrific friend, and a world famous paralegal?” She teases.
“Come on,” this time I roll my eyes so she can see them.
“Charity, give him a chance. I mean he already loves Ethan, and Ethan loves Marc. So, why not date him?” I watch Sara search my face for a clear answer. The problem is, there isn’t one? I can’t tell her the truth; Marc’s this hockey-god, and I’m nobody. I’m just a mom, and I’m barley making it at that.
“I can’t,” I hang my head, letting my dark hair hide my face, and keep away the truth.
“Normally, I don’t ask, but I’m going to this time; where is Ethan’s dad?”
There it is. There’s the question that I dread more than anything. “He’s gone.” I whisper.
“Like dead, or never coming back?”
“Never coming back.” I clarify to her.
“Then what’s the problem? Please tell me.”
I sit there, picking at the crust of the bread. Sara’s my boss first, and spilling my guts to her is completely unprofessional.
“With all due respect, Sara, I don’t want to talk about it.” I rush the words out of my mouth, before I change my mind.
“Okay, I understand.” She pats my hand. Thankfully, she changes the subject to work, and I relax.
Throughout the rest of the day the question ‘what’s the problem?’ linger in my head. Even on the train ride home, I let the words repeat over and over, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
What is my problem? Oh, that’s right. I’m not a super model, I’m not an actress, and I’m not even a true hockey fan. What’s the point of Marc even wanting to date me? Maybe he just wants to play the ‘dad’ role? Well, if that’s the case it’s working because Ethan loves him.
This whole situation is becoming a hot mess of crap.
When I walk to Brittani’s apartment, I’m so thankful it’s Friday. I plan on going to bed early and reading a book. Hopefully, that’ll keep my mind off this state of madness that I’m in right now,
“Wow, you look like shit.” Brittani furrows her brow at me.
“Well, hello to you too. Where’s my son?”
“Not here.”
“What?” I shout, my heart pounding against my chest. What does she mean he isn’t here? Ethan’s always here when I get home from work.
“Calm down,” Brittani states. “Marc came by and got him. I gave him the spare key and they’re in your apartment.”
“What?” I question again.
“I don’t think I can say that any clearer.” She giggles at me.
“You just let Marc Kane waltz in here, take my son, and you think they’re upstairs.” I can feel my blood boiling. I can’t believe my best friend would betray me like this.
“Well, somebody took their ‘over-dramatic’ pills today. Stop being a big sissy, go upstairs, put the kid to bed early, and ride that hockey player to the moon. Because, my friend, you need to get laid.” She slams the door in my face.
“Thanks for nothing.” I shout at the door.
“You’re welcome.” I hear her comeback faintly on the other side.
I growl as I head up the stairs to my apartment. I open my door and the sight took my breath away. Marc’s sitting on the floor with my son, reading.
“Mom,” Ethan jumps from Marc’s lap and runs to hug my legs. “Marc’s here.”
I smile down at my son. “I can see that.” I smooth his hair from his forehead. I look over at Marc, and he gives me that smirk that makes my knees weak.
“We’re reading.” He points over to the book that Marc is holding. He holds it up showing me that it’s Percy Jackson. “Marc bought me all the books.” I look over and on the coffee table is all the books of the series.
“That’s great, baby.” I coo over him.
“He’s very smart. He’s been reading more to me than I have been to him.” Marc rises to his feet. It’s like he’s on the ice; his movements smooth, and effortless.
“Ethan,” I turn to him ignoring Marc. “Why don’t you change and let Marc and I talk for a moment.”
He nods, and skips to the bedroom.
“Are you mad?” Marc asks as I take off my blazer, and heels.
“No, I’m not mad, but I’m surprised that you just came here and took Ethan.” I’m lying because I am mad. He took my son.
“Okay, first, calm down. Brittani wasn’t going to let me take him, but Ethan convinced her. Second,” he steps closer to me. “You know good and well that I wouldn’t hurt him or you.” His face is tight and set.
I knew deep down that he wouldn’t because if he had I would have killed him right there. I finally gave in and nodded. “I know.”
“I came by to make up for not talking to him yesterday, and,” he reaches for my hand. His rough hands contrast my smooth skin. For a moment I let myself relish in the touch, and think back to our kiss, and my feelings that I know I have for him, but that I won’t admit too. “I want you and me to go out tonight.”
“What?” I squeak out, unsure if I heard him correctly.
“Stop fighting it Charity. You know as well as I do, that you’re just pretending. You want to go out with me. I can see it all over your face.” He’s so close to my face, that all I can do is stare at his coal black eyes.
“I can’t.” My voice cracks with the lust that I feel with him being that close to me.
“You’re a liar.” His lips brush mine.
“Mom, where’s my jeans?” Ethan’s question makes me leap away from Marc. In turn, he chuckles at my swift movements.
“Maybe you should be a goalie with those reflexes.” He teases me.
I roll my eyes at him and tell Ethan to check the closet. I try to reign in the sexual fog that Marc had put me in, but all I can think about is how he called me out. Yes, I’m lying I want to be with Marc, but Ethan is my priority and there’s nothing above that, not even my libido.
“I’m ready Marc.” My son comes bounding out of the room, in his Marc t-shirt, and jeans.
“Well, you look awesome.” Marc high-fives him. “Are we ready to go?”
“Go?” I question looking between them.
“Yeah, Marc’s taking us for a surprise.” Ethan informs me.
My stomach drops. I can’t spend the rest of the evening with Marc. I can’t, because if I do, I will cave, and I can’t let that happen.
“Um, you know what?” I quickly think of a lie. “I think you two should have a boy’s night and I think I should have mommy night.”
“What?” Marc’s face actually looks sad by my suggestion.
“No, seriously. You’re right, Marc, I know that I can trust you with Ethan, and you need to spend time with him.” That isn’t a lie. I know I can trust Marc with Ethan. I can see the way he looks at him, like a father. “You guys have fun. And Ethan,” I bend down to him. “You remember your manners and behave for Marc.” I instruct.
“Yes, Mom,” my son kisses my cheek, and hugs my neck.
When I stand Marc leans into my ear. “I wanted you to come too.”
I shake my head, because I can’t keep my breathing under control when he’s that close.
“Come on Marc,” Ethan jumps up and down.
“Have fun boys.” I’m able to keep a fake smile on my face, until they leave.
I collapse on the couch, and I feel the tears creeping up. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy? Here’s this great guy, who’s good to my kid, but I keep being a bitch to him. A knock on my door, makes me wipe my eyes, and compose myself.
On the other side of the door is my best friend, her arms are crossed against her chest, and her shoulder length brown hair on top of her head, in a messy bun.
“You have got to be the dumbest person I know.” She pushes past me into my apartment.
“Please, make yourself at home.” My sarcastic tone, doesn’t stop her from talking.
“I saw Marc leaving with Ethan, and I figured you dumb ass was up her sulking.” She turns on her heels, and looks at me, knowing that she’s right.
“I wasn’t,”
Brittani throws her hand up, to cut me off. “Oh, please save it for someone else. I came up here to tell you that one, you’re an idiot, and two you’re a dumb ass.”
“That’s the same thing.” I correct her.
“And you’re being both.” She quips back at me.
“I hate you,” I lie.
“Oh, I’m sure you do because I’m right, and you’re wrong.” She fires back.
“Get out.” I point at the door, but she doesn’t listen.
“Nope, not until I cure you.” She falls down onto the couch.
“Do I even have a choice?” I sigh deeply throwing my head back in disgust.
“Um, no,” she smarts off. “I told you downstairs how I feel and I think I need to say it again, because you’re not getting it.”
“This isn’t your life.” I snap at my friend. “It’s my life, and I like it the way it is.”
“You do? You like working every single day? You like coming home to no one, but Ethan? You like the fact you have no other friends, but me? You like that you haven’t had a boyfriend since Trey threw your ass out of his apartment? You like that you don’t trust any guy? Or is it that you don’t like that you’re having feelings for Marc, and it scares the piss out of you?” Her voice rises with each question, and they seem to hit me like bullets to my chest. “Why don’t you sit here, alone, and stew on that for a while?” Brittani gets up, and walks out of my apartment.