And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
—Hebrews 10:24 NIV
TOO OFTEN WE FOCUS ON OUR OWN NEEDS AND EXPERIENCE disappointment before we even have all the facts. A wise woman gathers information before responding to her circumstances.
Reagan stared in disbelief as she watched her husband painting the antique bureau. White paint glared from the chipped corner, making the spot even more noticeable as it contrasted to the pale yellow with which the rest of the dresser was painted. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe that’s primer he’s painting on the spot. “Is that primer, honey?” she asked.
“No, it’s paint. I got it this morning,” he replied.
Reagan stood in the doorway of the bedroom, struggling with whether or not to say something else to him about it. Either he wouldn’t see the problem or, when he did figure it out, it would take two days to fix, depending on what he decided to do about it. He had promised to play tennis with her this afternoon, and that might not happen if this project evolved into something major.
“Do you need something?” he asked, wondering why she was still standing there.
“No. Just saw you in here and thought I’d see how it was going,” she replied. She remembered something one of the women in her Daughters of Sarah class had said the week before about just being factual and not emotional during conversations with husbands. She really cared about going to tennis, not about how much time he spent on this project.
“Will you be ready to leave for the courts in an hour? I have one reserved for 2:00 p.m.,” she calmly reminded him.
“Yeah, that should be good. Let me know about twenty minutes before we have to leave so I can get ready, okay?” he replied.
Later, riding in the car on the way to play tennis, she asked him how it was going with the bureau. “I ran into a little trouble with the crackle paint technique, but I think I’ve got it worked out. I had to start over, but I think it will be pretty cool when I’m finished,” he answered.
“Crackle paint? I thought you had decided against trying to do that with that piece,” she replied.
“Yeah, I had. The more I thought about it, though, the more I decided you were right that the old bureau would look awesome with a crackle finish on it. I’ve never done it before, so it’s going to take a bit of time. It’s different than the other projects I’ve done. I think you’ll like it when I’m finished, though,” he responded.
“Wow, thanks, honey! I’m sure it will be just beautiful when you are finished,” Reagan exclaimed. She realized that she had avoided an argument by not jumping to conclusions or being emotional. By just sticking to simple facts about what she wanted, she had created an opportunity to encourage him. Perhaps the best part was that she sensed the Holy Spirit had inspired her communication with him and nudged her gently in the direction she should go.
BOTTOM LINE: Avoid arguments and become more successful in your interactions with others. This comes from spending time in the Bible daily in order to discern the gentle and quiet voice of the Spirit within you.
1. Have you sensed the leading of the Spirit before? When? What was that like?
2. To clearly sense the Spirit, we have to spend time in prayer and spend time in the Bible on a daily basis. How are you doing in those two areas?
3. Take a few moments to look back at Dares 1–10 and compare them to Dares 20–30. If you measure progress in terms of your desire to grow spiritually, instead of looking at external results, what progress do you witness in yourself?
4. How have your motivations changed since the beginning of this book?
5. As you look at your original vision and self-assessment from the beginning of these dares, what progress have you made? Make a list of all the things that are different about you now.
6. If you are in a small group, make a list of all the women in your group and how they have changed.
7. Because your achievements will encourage others just like the Daughters of Sarah stories have encouraged you, please consider sharing some of your successes, no matter how small, with us at Information@greaterimpact. org. Even what you would consider a small blessing will encourage us and others, so please take a few moments to send us an e-mail to let us know what is going on in your life.
Pray that God will help you want to live your life for him. Ask him to fill you with the desire to be pleasing to him and to want to spend time with him.
Pray that he will give you pure motives.