Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.
—Psalm 126:5–6 NKJV
GOD ALLOWS PAIN IN OUR LIVES TO SHAPE US AND build our reliance upon him. Sometimes we wait until we are at the end of ourselves before we reach out to him for help. The comfort that comes from walking with God is always available to us. Our job is just to recognize it and reach out to him sooner, and we will suffer less.
Alone and frightened, Juli felt the hard, cold steel on her legs as her feet rested in the stirrups. What she had hoped to be an encouraging appointment with her OB a week ago had degraded into a nightmare. After eighteen months of fertility treatments mixed with five miscarriages, she was finally pregnant again and just knew God would let her carry this baby. Last week when she had started spotting, she was sure it was just the fertilized egg attaching to the wall of the placenta, but then the bleeding had become heavier and, two days ago, the pain had started. Last week, the baby had a heartbeat. Today there was nothing.
“I’m sorry, Juli,” Dr. Sonjo said. “There’s a lot of clotting, and we’ve removed what we can for now. You need to walk around for two hours, come back, and we’ll check you again. If the pain returns significantly, don’t wait, just come back to the office.”
Juli wandered the hospital halls for about half an hour before the pain started again. By the time she hobbled back to Dr. Sonjo’s office, she could barely stand.
“We’re going to do a D&C. That will clean out your uterus and hopefully put an end to the pain. Are you okay with that? You know the baby’s gone, right?” asked Dr. Sonjo.
“Yes, I know. Do what you need to do,” Juli responded, wishing Bill were not out of town and so far away today.
Dr. Sonjo continued, “We can take care of this today if we just do a cervical block, and you’ll be on your way home in an hour. However, this is going to be somewhat uncomfortable, so if you want anesthesia instead, we’ll have to schedule it for tomorrow or the next day, based on what we have available.”
“I just want to get this over with,” Juli replied. Sitting in a strange metal chair, legs spread, she cringed when she saw the nurse bringing the needle for the block. “This is going to sting. Hold really still, I have to give you three injections,” the nurse told her. A burning sensation crept through her, deep in her abdomen, then was gone. Two more times it returned. The nurse moved behind her and put her hands on Juli’s shoulders as she explained the procedure.
Dr. Sonjo came in and began the D&C. Searing pain tore through Juli’s abdomen as the suction pulled the matter from the inside of her uterus. She sat in the chair, trying to be brave. Never had she felt so alone. Silently, she repeated desperate prayers to the Lord, “Please, please, get it over soon.”
Tears streamed down her face as she endured the harrowing pain. Several minutes later, just when she felt she could endure no more, it was over. Juli wept with relief, signed out, made her co-pay, and headed home.
BOTTOM LINE: We are never alone when we choose to lean on God. He is always available, always awake, and always holds us up when we cannot stand on our own. Lean on him and you can get through anything.
1. Do you know that God can handle your pain? When has he done this for you in the past?
2. Do you usually try to hold on to your pain or do you ask God to help you through it? Why have you responded that way?
3. What reference(s) can you find in the Bible that God can handle your pain?
4. How does today’s verse impact you with regard to the pain you’ve endured in your own life?
After reading this, close your eyes and simply listen for God’s voice, maybe even for as long as half an hour. Vividly imagine yourself in the most comfortable and safe room in your life today.
Sitting in a large chair in the corner of this room is a huge man, whom you recognize as the Lord. He’s wearing a white pair of pants and a baggy, short-sleeved, white shirt. His features are chiseled with strength, and he opens his arms to you. Crawling into his lap, you shrink in size until you are the size of a young child. His muscular arms envelop you as you rest your head on his chest. You are safe here. You can feel the warmth of his breath on your hair as he holds you.
“Daddy,” you call him.
“Daughter,” he replies.
He is God. He loves you. He strokes your hair and you simply sit in his loving embrace, waiting for his words to come to you.
After simply listening for a while, journal any truths revealed to you during this time.
Pray for God to confirm anything he wants you to know or actions he wishes for you to take by communicating with you through circumstances, the Bible, or people over the next several days. Write those down; you may be challenged and forget what he has told you to do at a later time.
